Oct 9 2017 8:30am

First Look: Kira Archer’s 69 Million Things I Hate About You (October 9, 2017)

69 Million Things I Hate About You by Kira Archer

Kira Archer
69 Million Things I Hate About You
Entangled / October 9, 2017 / $14.99 print, $3.99 digital

Numbers and love—pretty sure we’ve been here before! How about Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover? Or Shakespeare’s How do I love thee, let me count the ways? Kira Archer’s 69 Million Things I Hate About You is a worthy successor to this tradition. PA Kiersten Abbott, after she and her roomies each win sixty-nine million dollars in the lottery, has 69 gazillion reasons to walk away from her “impossibly demanding job.” Why doesn’t she? Is it Cole Harrington, her billionaire boss, that keeps her clocking in? Or does she have an ulterior motive—does she want “to stay and exact a little revenge on her insufferable ass of a boss?” Particularly since Kiersten is a literary Andrea *Andy* Sachs—the 2nd assistant to 69 Million Things I Hate About You’s male version of The Devil Wears Prada Miranda Priestly. A day-in-the-life of Kiersten is unimaginable, especially before Marie, the first-assistant to Cole Harrington, quits.

Moving at high speed through the office, laden down with coffee cups, coats, bags, briefcases, file folders, laptops, and any other number of items had become second nature to Kiersten. She handed off two of the three coffee cups to her besties who worked in the same office, Izzy and Cassie, who each mouthed “thank you” and quickly went back to looking busy. Marie wasn’t technically their boss, but she was the first assistant to Cole Harrington, president and founder of Harrington Enterprises, the biggest think tank and development firm in Manhattan, which made her a sort of supervisor over Izzy, Cassie, and the rest of the assistants in the office. Kiersten was second assistant, which made her Marie’s go-to girl. All the work, none of the credit—that went to Marie.

What would make first assistant Marie quit her job? Maybe a request (demand?) from Cole Harrington that she work on the weekend that she’s getting married. Farewell Marie, welcome Kiersten, the new assistant to the billionaire.

Perhaps it’s the eye-candy that keeps Kiersten showing up. The man on the treadmill is a menace to her sensibilities, especially if he’s wearing “a pair of loose sweatpants that fit low on his hips, and nothing else.”

A few beads of sweat ran in rivulets down the hardplaned muscles of his chest and abs. And whatever the hell those amazing V muscles were called pointed in stark relief to what one tabloid had called “the treasure every woman in Manhattan wanted.” Kiersten had scoffed when she’d read that. Seeing everything up close and personal had her rethinking her skepticism.

When one errant drop slipped beneath the band of his sweatpants, Kiersten nearly lost her grip on the coffee. Lucky little sweat drop.

Six months into her job as first assistant, Cole couldn’t be happier with Kiersten’s work. In fact, she’s so quietly efficient, “he was tempted to put a bell on her just so he’d know when she was about.” Kiersten isn’t quite as thrilled with her work life—although she still thinks it’s “a crime for such dreamy eyes to belong to such an ass of a man”—her fantasies are beyond kinky.

Like, dumping his coffee on his head the next time he grunted at her with his empty cup. She wondered how quickly she’d be escorted from the building if she gave in to temptation and upended the thing.

Visualize Cajun hottie Remy from The Big Easy whispering, “Cher, your luck’s about to change.” Flopped down beside her roomies Cassie and Izzy in their apartment, after working ten days straight, Kiersten becomes the woman who absolutely Does Not Have To Work after she and her roommates hit the jackpot and win the lottery. Hallelujah! She’s gonna quit, right? Nope. Egged on by Cass, Kiersten decides to see how much she can get away with before she’s fired.

“So why don’t we put it to the test?” Cass asked with a mischievous smile.

“What do you mean?” Kiersten asked.

Cass shrugged. “I wonder how far he’d let it go before caving and firing you.”

Let the games begin! Kiersten tells her friends to pick a date and starts dreaming of how life is going to change when she shows up for work Monday morning. Kira Archer’s 69 Million Things I Hate About You is as funny as all get out but it’s not a farce. Kiersten and Cole are fully-realized, very likable people—so pick a date-to-be-fired-by and start reading. Here’s hoping Cassie and Izzy get stories too.


Learn more about or order a copy of 69 Million Things I Hate About You by Kira Archer, available now:

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Janet Webb aka @JanetETennessee moved from the San Francisco Bay to eastern Tennessee. Baseball is my passion: I follow the Chattanooga Lookouts and the Nashville Sounds (farm team of my beloved Oakland Athletics). Social media devotee. Stories on royals and politics catch my eye. Ottawa born. Grew up on Georgette Heyer and Helen MacInnes. I also review at Criminal Element.

Subscribe to this conversation (must be logged in):
1. Kareni
This sounds like a fun premise. Thanks for the First Look.
Janet Webb
3. JanetW
Thank you Kareni and Willaful. It really was a hoot. I didn't even talk about the guys' weekend she plans that has them doing an Amish barn-raising. It's very funny.
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