Wed
Aug 30 2017 8:02am

Do You Prefer Being the Recommender or the Recommendee?

Recommended stamp

Offering your opinion on a book can be a scary endeavor—what if what you like is something hated by the person you're talking to, or vice versa. Sometimes that means it's just easier to be the person who gets recommended books, rather than be the person who does the recommending! However, for others nothing beats the thrill of recommending a book—and the other person loving it!

“I'm bossy, so I always like to tell people what to do,” said one person on her reason for loving being the recommender.  

Do you like to recommend or have someone recommend to you? What do you like about it? 

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7 comments
Ren Benton
1. Ren Benton
Recommender, all the way. I know I won't take it personally if the recommendee hates the recommendation, but I've had too many people get bent out of shape when I didn't appreciate their fine taste in books. It's not that different from getting a gift I don't like -- the "polite" thing to do is lie about how much I love it, and I'd rather not be put in that situation.
Carmen Pinzon
2. bungluna
I like both. I love spreading the word on a much-loved book. I love having a book recommended to me and finding a new must-read author. I know there is a chance that I won't like the book recommended or that the person I recommend to might hate my lovely, but the rewards outweigh the possible downside.
Ren Benton
3. Althea Claire Duffy
What I can't stand is when people get overly pushy and insist I read a book I keep telling them I am not interested in. Sorry, my time is MY time, not yours.

(One of the reasons I seldom like getting books as gifts - I feel guilty if I don't read them. The other reason being that they seldom are anything I'm interested in, and I always feel like the gift-giver is judging my taste or has an image of me that doesn't correspond to reality.)
Jennifer Proffitt
4. JenniferProffitt
I love being a recommender! There's a real joy in hunting down what I think will be the perfect book for a fellow reader/friend--especially if they come back and say they love it!

@Althea Claire Duffy, I feel you on pushy recommenders or books that you get and you're like "THIS is what you think I need?" For a Christmas present when I was a teen, my brother gave me a "workouts for teens" and "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers"... needless to say it wasn't my favorite gift...
Elizabeth Halliday
5. Ibbitts
Both. Sometimes.
I really value the written reviews of others when they state why they like or dislike a book, but I rarely solicit an oral recommendation, because sometimes people get offended if you don't agree with them.
I always write a review for book clubs because I feel obligated to state my opinion if someone has given me a free book to read, and I am never offended if someone, or even everyone, disagrees with me. I'm a big believer of everyone being entitled to like what they like and it never has to be what I like for me to respect their opinion. I love trying new authors and genres that I am unfamiliar with, but that doesn't always work out.
I never offer an unsolicited opinion to my acquaintances for the same reasons, but I'll give my honest opinion if someone asks me about a specific title.
Janga
6. Janga
I can't choose. Some of my most treasured possessions are books that were gifts from family members and friends, and I'm always excited when I get emails from a select group of friends that include the words "I can't wait for you to read . . ." But I also love recommending books to friends. For example, I take pride in the number of Anne Gracie fans who read their first Gracie book on my recommendation, and having some reader comment that a review of mine makes them want to read a book I loved is a joy.
Ren Benton
7. SpiritedMuse
I like/prefer recommending books instead of being recommended books by friends/peeps. As I hate to sound judgy when I say this, but I actually tend to pay a wee bit closer attention to WHAT my friends like to read and don't like to read/are interested in. So that is why when I recommend a book on the rare occasions that I do. I tend to make sure it's a book that they would actually enjoy. Whereas, when I'm recommended a book. It's very rarely what I would read/be interested in at all.

In particular sci-fi stories or most urban fantasy stories that are solely about vamps or something that is getting everyone hyped up. I usually don't enjoy stuff like that that often. But others are like just give it a chance and it will be all good. Don't worry about it. And sometiems they are right and other tiemsnot so much.
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