Wed
Jan 13 2016 10:35am

How To Know You’re in a Diana Palmer Novel...

Wyoming Rugged by Diana Palmer

Your hero is a cowboy, or a sheriff, or involved with general law enforcement/military fields.

Your hero is also a Republican (explicitly stated, or implied).

You, the heroine, are feisty but too “traditional” for the modern world.

If it hasn’t been established by now, you’re either a resident of a state with cowboys and cattle ranchers, or you just really love the history behind states with cowboys and cattle ranchers.

Before the end of the book, you will have visited a ranch, or at least the general state of Wyoming/Oklahoma/Nebraska/etc.

The first time you meet the hero, he’s grouchy. You are attracted to him – but wait, you hate him!

You find yourself unable to look away from the hero’s chiseled body and chest hair.

Your hero specifically has a *mat* of chest hair.

When your hero says something insulting to you, you fire back an insult. He may call you promiscuous, but he’s too insecure about his attraction to you to be honest.

You notice his mat of chest hair again. Now you’re confused.

Whatever your job is, it’s probably started to make the hero angry. Or maybe you’re dating someone. That’s making him even angrier.

Everyone else around you thinks the hero is so nice. You think he’s a prick. For some reason, he still manages to be attractive in his grumpiness.

Your hero says something mean and then puts your hand on his bare chest in a fit of passion. Like always, you are so damn enthralled with his chest hair.

The hero has probably mentioned another woman, and you realize you’re jealous? But why are you jealous – has * she * touched his chest hair?

It comes as a surprise when he starts to soften up to you. He may believe you about your conservative sexuality. You might actually want to kiss him now.

Just as your hero warms up to you, something happens to make him angry with you. Whatever it is, you can’t stand it and you just have to leave.

The hero prevents you from leaving in a fit of passion. You love him for more than his rancher body. He loves you. Somehow, you know that it’s true, and his alpha-male tendencies seem sweeter now that he’s admitted it.

Suddenly, it’s the end, and you’re about to be married. Babies are definitely on the way if you haven’t already gotten pregnant by him earlier in the book as a plot device. 

***

Learn more about or order a copy of Wyoming Rugged by Diana Palmer, out now: 

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John is a student, reviewer, and editor with a taste for social justice.  He's queer/LGBTQ and has always loved a good romance novel.  A current student at Ithaca College, he is majoring in Integrated Marketing Communications and trying to pick up a creative writing minor on the side. If you observe him in the wild, you may see him reading—or find him watching reruns of The Golden Girls while sipping his first/second/third cup of coffee for the day.  You can find his reviews on his blog, Dreaming in Books, and listen to his random musings on Twitter @DreamingReviews

 

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11 comments
willaful
1. willaful
One or both of you momentarily pass out from the intensity of your climax(es.)
Karen H near Tampa
3. Karen H near Tampa
Though you're a virgin, you'll have an orgasm almost immediately just from the hero playing with your breasts (and that's one of the reasons I quit reading her books).
JenniferPorter
4. JenniferPorter
Also, you most likely have a bow shaped mouth and you aren't very attractive (you've been overlooked by all men until your hero arrives on seen). Ah, Diana Palmer. There is no one else like you.
J.Patrick
5. J.Patrick
I might have to read a Diana Palmer book. Any recommendations?
willaful
6. willaful
My personal favorite is Maggie's Dad. It's got the gut-twisting I like, and it's also unusually down to earth about tense relationships between adults and children. For totally OTT fun, I enjoy Regan's Pride.
Karen H near Tampa
7. nikki h
He's much older than she. He thinks he doesn't deserve her so is intentionally hurtful, you know--for her own good.
cayenne
8. cayenne
You probably have a hymen that could stop a tank, beyond the penetrative powers of even the most magic of wangs, and requires medical intervention (and which intervention can also Cause Misunderstandings).
Karen H near Tampa
9. Mimi2801
If you are a doormat, have no opinion whatsoever and don't mind when he makes you feel like pond scum- you may be a Diana Palmer heroine. And THAT is why I stopped reading her books. ALL her heroines were wishy washy women with low self esteem and ALL her heroes were grumpy, obnoxious know it alls!
willaful
10. willaful
The earlier ones ae better, as least in regard to the heroines. The heroes, not so much. :-)
Karen H near Tampa
11. katieb
Lets be honest, the heroes are just as predictable and interchangeable as the heroines in both looks and behaviour, they are all tall, muscled and dark, grumpy, mean, sarcastic and worldly and when they inevitably realize that they've hurt or misunderstood the woman they love, do they man up and apologize? No, they get drunk, lock themselves behind closed doors and vow to let the girl go for her own good.
But this writers tried and true method works for her and her fans and that's really all that matters.
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