Aug 29 2013 2:30pm

Orphan Black Season 1, Episode 8 Hiatus Rewatch Recap: Effin’ It All Up

Sarah and Paul in Fee's Fun Flat!BBC America's sci-fi thriller Orphan Black—and especially Tatiana Maslany's brilliant performances in it—has taken TV critics by storm recently, and we're just as enthralled by Sarah, Paul, Alison, Felix, Helena, Art, Cosima, et al. While the series is on hiatus until April 2014 (sob!), we here at H&H are eager to relive the glory of Season 1 with a hiatus rewatch led by Kiersten Hallie Krum, who also recaps Lost Girl, every Thursday for the next few weeks or so. Won't you join us?!

(Haven't watched the series yet, or looking for a way to watch it again? BBC America has a list of places where you can watch the episodes; plus, Season 1 is now out on Blu-ray/DVD for Region 1.)

Now onto the recap of episode 8, “Entangled Bank”...

Totally flummoxed, Art sneers between Beth’s ID tag and Sarah’s mug shot. Angie calls him to go but when Art doesn’t respond, she joins him. Without looking away from the two pictures, he asks if she believes in doppelgangers. She scoffs at the idea. Art suggests twins. Angie wonders if Beth ever mentioned a twin sister before. Frustrated, Art throws the ID card. Angie reminds him that they identified Jane Doe as Sarah Manning and now have to make notification. He gets up to go but asks her to keep the situation just between them until they figure out “what the hell it is.” She agrees.

At Felix’s Fun Flat, Sarah and Paul greet the morning with some post-coital spooning in Fee’s bed. Sarah sports a wide, lazy, satisfied smile. It may be the first time since the series began where she’s just relaxed and enjoyed the moment. Paul however is freaking out. “We can’t go back to the townhouse,” he says again, picking up his point from where he left it before all of the lovely sexy times. She shushes him and rolls around to nuzzle into his face and stroke his head. He curls into her, but, back in bad ass mode, is fixed on his agenda. “Olivier’s boss, Doctor Leekie is flying in today. He’ll be looking for you.” Sarah scoffs, rolls her eyes, and sits up. “For a second there, I forgot I was a clone.” Paul kisses her shoulder in apology and nuzzles her hair, one last moment of tenderness. “He thinks you’re the one killing his clones.” She knows, Paul. She was there in Olivier’s office with you too.

Sarah pulls the shirt over her head just as Felix enters coffee in hand. Apparently he found a change of clothes and hair style when he went to get drunk at Bobby’s bar but whatever. Seeing him, Paul moves for his own clothes. “Oh, sorry,” Fee quips dryly. “I couldn’t afford lattes for Bonnie and Clyde.” Sarah calls out good morning as she blithely pulls up her panties and Paul slides his boxer briefs on with the sheet over his lap. Look, I appreciate these particular details and let me tell you why. The quickest way to pull me out of a scene is for an actor to read off a telephone number that stars with 555. I know it’s the default Hollywood code for numbers and because I know this, my suspended disbelief becomes very much unsuspended. I usually pause and wait when I know a number is about to be given and then, 99% of the time, whinge loudly when they again let me down. Ditto when a couple is making love, get out of bed, and they’re wearing underwear over the good bits. This especially applies to men because God forbid there be a stray peen or ball sighting. No. Just no. So yeah, watching Sarah and Paul actually pull up their knickers made me happy because it proves that Orphan Black pays attention to the dangly bits (heh) as well as the tangled clone clusters and is invested in rooting this show in as real an environment as it can get. Yeah, I got all that from a pair of boxer briefs. What can I say? We’re a full-service recap here at H&H.

Fee wants to torch Sarah’s psycho sister’s coat. “Smells like low tide.” That’s ‘cause the gulag is on a shipping boat, Fee. Fee is in the foreground for these exchanges as Sarah and Paul move about in the background getting dressed. They call their lines back and forth to one another and it’s another authentic layer that makes me dig this entire scene hard. Paul tells Felix that Sarah is going to have to hole up at Felix’s Fun Flat for a while. Sarah shoots him a look as she hops into her jeans, but for once doesn’t argue. “You too?” Fee asks. “Impinging on my creativity? Shagging in my bed?” Paul ignores him to pull up and buckle his pants (damn). The PinkMobile rings and Sarah bounds down the short set of stairs, also buckling her pants, to answer it. Sarah: “It’s Alison.” Fee: “Oh great. Invite her too. Then we can all cuddle up with Weight Watchers and Grey’s Anatomy.” Hee.

Alison is back from her marriage retreat early. She explains she already spoke to Cosima and she’s taking a break from both Clone Sisters. “I need to get my house together.” Sarah wonders if that isn’t what the marriage counseling was supposed to do. Turns out Alison and Donnie are getting a divorce. Don’t leave a testimonial on the marriage camp’s site, ‘kay? ”Oh, I’m fine!” she insists, as she pops a pill and folds laundry with the sharp, jerky moves of a perfectly calm woman. She claims everything is under control. Sarah: “Okay, now I’m worried.” No shit. Sitting on the bed behind Sarah, Paul watches her side of the conversation as he puts his shirt on (dammit!).  Alison tells her not to worried, that she can take care of herself and doesn’t need Sarah…she cuts herself off as she sees a shadow at her back door. “Helping me clear my deck of liars and spies,” she finishes in a whisper. Sarah warns that Alison doesn’t actually know who her monitor is. A key turns in her back door and Aynsley lets herself in. “I’m reclaiming my life, Sarah,” Alison hisses. “Please respect that.”

Aynsley strolls into Alison’s house and blithely flips through her mail, holding one intriguing envelope up to the light to read it. She jumps when Alison calls her name. Aynsley wonders what Alison is doing there. “I told you I was coming back early,” Alison reminds her tightly. “Not today, silly,” Aynsley patronizes and claims she just came in to water the plants. Alison: “Did you?”

Someone knocks on Mrs. S.’s door. Kira runs to answer it by Siobhan grabs her up in time and reminds her that Kira never answers the door unless it’s someone they’ve invited. And they haven’t. Siobhan takes one look outside and urges Kira to run to her room. Art and Angie are on her stoop and introduce themselves to a hostile Mrs. S. “Are you the legal guardian to Sarah Manning?”


Inside, Siobhan is getting the news of Sarah’s “death”. She asks how and when and is told by gunshot and about two weeks ago. Angie admits identification took some time, but they’re sure now that it’s Sarah. So, Beth was actually identified by Fee as Sarah and now Art and Angie are tagging Katja as Sarah. How many times can Sarah “die” in one season? They question Siobhan about whether Sarah was having any problems with anyone especially woman. Siobhan explains Sarah came of age and moved out years ago. “We aren’t,” she pauses and Art leans forward, “We weren’t close,” Siobhan corrects to the past tense. Angie asks if Sarah had a sister and Siobhan sharply insists that Sarah was an orphan. Art more gently asks if Sarah could have had a sister. “If she did, it would be news to both of us,” Siobhan swiftly counters.

And this is when Cosima drinks the Kool Aid...At Felix’s Fun Flat, Sarah is arguing with Cosima via the VidPhone. “Neolution is bullshit, Cosima,” she snaps. Cos heartily disagrees. “It’s an applied philosophy with profound implications for what I do.” I love how Cosima has to stumble sometimes for words to explain things to Sarah, as though her brain is leap years ahead and must skid on the brakes and retread the ground she leaped over to bring Sarah up to speed. “So you’d go around black-bagging your subjects?” Sarah accuses. Cosima rolls her eyes with frustration at Sarah’s truculence. “That was mistaken identity,” she excuses. “Olivier thought you were the killer.” In the back, Fee changes the sheets on his bed with obvious distemper as he listens in. Paul has apparently left the building. Sarah snaps that Cosima’s “good friend Doctor Leekie” is on his way. “Can I expect the same from him?” Cos has had enough and accuses Sarah of turning their killer against their creators. “I mean, why the hell would you bring Helena into the mix?” That’s too much for Fee to let go by. “OY! Ivory Tower! This all happened because you got the science wrong!” Cosima moans that she didn’t get it wrong, but Sarah feels otherwise. “They knew I wasn’t Beth from the medical tests. You said our DNA was identical.” Cosima still claims it is. “You know, maybe it was your sunny personality that gave you away.” Oh! Burned by Cosima! “Whose bloody side are you on, Cosima?!” Fee shouts for Sarah to hang up. “She’s a freaky Leekie!” Wait, who told Fee that phrase?

Sarah slams the laptop shut and flops back on the couch. “Shit, Fee. Cosima drank the purple Kool-Aid.” Fee says to hell with her then. “But you can still save Alison.” Sarah insists that Alison is fine, but Fee knows better. “It’s every freak for herself,” Sarah scoffs. Fee: “Divorces do really strange things to Normals, Sarah. They lose their fake happiness. They forget their way to the mall and then they come downtown to find themselves.” He punctuates his point with a sassy crossing of his legs, one foot bobbing with righteous gay indignation while Sarah ponders his words. “She’s obsessing that one of her bitchy friends is her monitor,” she finally admits. “Aynsley,” Fee sniggers having met the bitch in question. “It’s her for sure.” Sarah tilts her head at him. What?!

At Alison’s house, Aynsley moans in sympathy of Alison’s news of divorce while Alison paces and flips through her mail. Aynsley asks after the kids and Alison informs her they’re at her mother’s house. Aynsley wants to know if Alison’s informed the kids yet. “You’re just full of questions, aren’t you?”Alison says. Aynsley coos that she cares about Alison and knew she was unhappy, but… “How did you know?” Alison snaps. “By asking questions. Always asking, asking. Everything you know you pried right out of me.” Aynsley chuckles nervously. No really, my closed captions say so. She steps next to Alison and offers to coach figure skating on Alison’s behalf that night thereby giving Alison the chance to have a night in alone and relax. Alison isn’t having any. “Figure skating is on my schedule and whether my daughter is in attendance or not, I’ll be there.” Aynsley isn’t giving up though and puts a little bite into it when she insists that “Ali” needs some “me” time. “And I think you need to give me my house keys back,” Alison retorts. Me-yow.

 Now Aynsley’s offended, “what have I done?” but when Alison demands them again, she passes the keys over. “I know you’re in pain, so I won’t ask for my keys back.” I’m pretty sure you can have them there, sister. If you’re not careful, I’m also pretty sure where Alison is gonna shove ‘em. Aynsley promises not to abandon “Ali” but Alison just yanks the keys from her grip and then calmly opens the door for Aynsley, slamming it in her face when the woman tries for one last salvo. Heh.

Paul is at the hospital posing as Olivier’s brother. Olivier is face down on a hospital bed that resembles a massage chair with a metal frame imposes over him bum presumably to hold…things together. The doctor explains they weren’t able to reattach the “appendage” as the tail was too badly damaged. “Must have been a new one for you,” Paul notes wryly. The doctor actually found it fascinating. “That level of surgical enhancement. He’s very committed.” Or he should be committed. Jury’s still out. Paul asks how long Olivier needs to stay and the doctor says with the blood loss and infection risk to that…area, up to a week. Paul decides to hang out until Olivier regains consciousness.

Delphine stands outside the university looking for her ride. A town car pulls up with Leekie in it. She gets in and, without looking up from his notes, he quietly asks about her progress with Cosima. Delphine confesses how Cosima made a pass at her. This gets his attention. He leans over to stroke her cheek.  “Cosima’s safety is at stake. Other subjects too. I need to know which ones she’s in contact with.” Delphine counters that Cosima has to initiate disclosure. I think Leekie’s talked her into this ruse with Cosima by presenting is as another part of the clone experiment. He counters that Cosima’s disclosure is not what he’s after here, rather he needs Delphine to dig deeper and faster as they’re dealing with a direct threat. He opens the door and goes back to his notes without another word of instruction or affection. Such a prince, this guy. Delphine stares after the departing car and then her head drops with distress.

Back at the floating gulag, the squirrely music is in full swing complete with in and out of focus shots. Helena downs pixie stick after pixie stick. How she’s not jumping off the floating gulag walls is anyone’s guess. She stills wears Sarah’s leather jacket. Helena turns her head to smell Sarah’s scent on the leather (creepy!) and notices something in the inside pocket. It’s a letter from Kira, which includes pictures. She haltingly reads Kira’s letter to Sarah out loud. “Mrs. S. says you are in the sunshine. Please come home.” Oh, this can’t be good.

Back at Felix’s Fun Flat, Sarah sits in the chair with the PinkMobile to her ear while Fee sprawls on the couch reading the paper. Sarah’s sticks her foot in Fee’s face and when he bats it away, she shoves it back. “I’m not going to hole up with you if you can’t sit still!” he grouses. Sarah: “Does it smell?” Fee: “Yeah, it smells like a foot! Only worse because it’s yours.” Not for nothing, but this is totally something I’ve done I’d do to my sister. Loving the sibling moment.

Sarah shifts about and sighs that Alison is not answering her calls just as Beth’s phone rings. She checks the readout and informs Fee that it’s Art. Again. “Sorry, Beth doesn’t live here anymore!” she calls to the unanswered phone as she settles back in the chair and shoves her foot back into Fee’s face. “No, she lives with me,” Fee grouses. “So does her boy-toy bodyguard.” I need to get me one of those. “Would you please stop?!” he shouts, laughing, just as the door is wrenched open. He sits up as he catches a glimpse of their visitor. “Oy, oy, Mrs. S.”

“Oy Oy,” Siobhan returns as she enters Felix’s Fun Flat, but a small smile graces her fact to see Sarah yet alive. Sarah leaps to her feet. “And you’re alive,” she notes. “Yeah, why?” Sarah asks, confused. Siobhan tells them about Art and Angie’s arrived at her house that morning, “quite convinced they’d found your body in a gravel quarry.” She hands over Art’s business card. Sarah grimaces. “Who wants mimosas?” Fee quips. “Sit down and shut your gob!” Siobhan shouts, temper finally frayed. Fee does so immediately and without further comment. Whoa. “I was tempted to clean the remains and feed them to you both on toast. Would you care to enlighten me?!” she demands. Oh, I do like Siobhan. A lot.

“I don’t want to lie to you so…not yet,” Sarah says. Oh my gawd, is that character growth I see before me? It is! God, I love this show. Sarah isn’t ready to reveal the whole clone thing to her foster mother. But this new state of forgiveness between them is still too fragile to jeopardize with more lies. Sarah asks what Art and Angie told her. “Very little,” Siobhan confirms. “I’d venture little is all they have,” she offers more gently. Sarah sincerely thanks her for the information and drops Art’s card to the coffee table with a weary sigh. All three of them take a moment now that the tension is broken. Siobhan regroups. She’s ready to trust Sarah in this, but that doesn’t mean she’s not going to prepare for the worst. “Whatever is going on, if it takes one step toward Kira, you need to yell ‘fire’. The home we’ve built for ourselves in this country, we burn it all down if we have to.” Sarah settles into certainty. In this, they are finally in total accord. “That’s a promise.”

Y'all are about to start troubleBack at the precinct, Angie tells Art the facial reconstruction on Katja is coming along. But Art has another bombshell to drop: he’s found the coroner’s report on “Beth’s Sarah Manning’s” suicide, a whole two days before Jane Doe (Katja) was shot. “Jane Doe can’t be Sarah Manning, Sarah Manning was already dead!” Angie concludes. Art counters that the prints still match, and Angie goes back to the twin theory as it’s been proven that twin’s prints are close enough to “flag a match” and environmental factors could be used to differentiate. Art again plays devil’s advocate by reminding Angie that Siobhan said Sarah Manning had no relations. Angie: “That she knew of. Sarah was an orphan. Say Beth’s a triplet that’s separated at birth.” Art scoffs at the idea but Angie asks him to humor her. “Look, over a couple days, same city, one suicides, the other gets whacked. I mean it suggests they’re in touch, that they’re not separated anymore, right?” Damn. Angie’s a much better detective that Art. For a raw hypothesis, she’s hit pretty close to the mark. Art muses that there’s only one woman left to clear it all up.

Handily, that just when Sarah/Beth roams into the room. “Beth,” Angie exclaims, caught off guard. “Hey. Got your messages. Bad time?” Sarah asks without smiling.

Art leads Sarah/Beth into the murder room and informs her some questions have come up about her work on the Jane Doe case. Pretending to be insult, she asks for examples and Art explains about the lack of records in the case file as to the negative results on the prints. Sarah/Beth insists it should be in there and Art quietly informs her they ran the prints again. Sarah/Beth leans forward, pretending to be intrigued, but Angie barges in to ruin the moment. Angie tells Sarah/Beth it looks like they’re getting somewhere and then shoves a snap of Sarah’s mug shot in front of her face. Sarah/Beth looks between the picture and Art. He’s not happy that Angie pushed the reveal but he is very interested in Sarah/Beth’s reaction. Sarah/Beth asks if it’s a joke and Angie demands to know if the name Sarah Manning means anything to her. “Who the hell is this?” Sarah/Beth asks Art, ignoring Angie. “So you’ve never seen her before?” Angie clarifies. “Yeah, in the mirror,” Sarah/Beth snarks. Neither detective laughs. “Come on, no!” Sarah/Beth yells. Art tries to smooth things over with the half-hearted adage about everyone having look-alikes. Not that much alike, Art. Angie, who never liked Beth in the first place (and for what appears to be good reason) isn’t giving an inch. “Do they?” she scoffs.

Alison power walks through the skating rink. Meera from the pot-luck party hurries up as gleeful sympathy to ask Alison how she’s doing and then without pausing for a response, Meera pets her hair and tells Alison she’s there if Alison needs anything. Looks like Aynsley’s made the gossip rounds about Alison and Donnie’s divorce. Alison rounds the corner to see Aynsley herself arguing with Chad the douche. She’s demanding his support but Chad, for once, sensibly insists that Aynsley can’t just put on an outfit and declare herself the coach. “You’re not the coach. You don’t know what you’re doing.” From the sound of it, Aynsley has coveted Alison’s coaching job for a while and is only too happy to use Alison’s home life disaster as a chance to get it. Chad sees and greets Alison. Aynsley is shocked and not happy to see her there. They really all the definition of frenemies, aren’t they?

Alison immediately attacks Aynsley and Chad agrees with her in front of his wife, so still a douchebag even if he is right. “Go play with your dumbbells, Chad,” Aynsley sneers. Heh. She reminds Alison that she’s “got this” and fake sympathizes that Alison is in no condition to be coaching kids. Chad again knocks down his wife for his neighbor and both women just look at him. Chad leaves. Alison once again insists that she’s fine, “and no one asked you to sub for me, so leave!” Aynsley takes Alison aside and suggests that “Ali” is mad at Donnie, not her. I’d bet it’s probably equally split there at the moment. Alison snaps that she told Aynsley to stay away from her and Aynsley counters that she told Alison that Alison is not herself. “I know what you’re doing, Aynsley,” Alison replies. “You want to mess with my life? I’m going to mess with yours.”

Angie pulls a chair up next to Sarah/Beth to better get in her face. “Sorry to be a bitch here,” she says, not sorry at all, “but it looks like you buried Jane Doe’s fingerprints to hide your connection.” Sarah/Beth doesn’t know about any connection. “I don’t have a sister; I don’t know who this person is!” Art fills in that Sarah Manning was an orphan and Angie adds that she has the same prints as Jane Doe, “but she killed herself days before Jane Doe was murdered.” Sarah/Beth frowns at Art who plays good cop and more gently informs her that they just need to know where she fits in. Sarah/Beth looks plaintively at Art as asks to see Sarah Manning’s file. “Sorry,” Angie mocks. “You’re a civilian now.” Sarah/Beth: “Yeah, just what you’ve always wanted.” Angie tilts her head in agreement.  She’s never understood how and why Beth got ahead of her and enjoyed such special treatment from Art and the lieutenant especially. Frankly, given what we know of Beth, neither do I. When Art doesn’t contradict Angie, Sarah/Beth quietly asks if she needs to “lawyer up here?” Art says he doesn’t know. “Do you?”

Sarah/Beth recoils, tosses the photo on the table, and exits. Art, proving he can be a cop where she’s involved, uses a cloth to retrieve the photo. Angie is already holding out an evidence bag. He tells her to have forensics run Sarah/Beth’s prints as fast as possible.

Figure skating successfully coached, Alison heads out to her car only to smell pot on the air. She tracks it over to where Chad is getting high in his mini-van. Noticing Alison noticing him, Chad throws the joint out the passenger window and sprays freshener, but it’s too late. He begs her not to tell Aynsley, but instead Alison takes a hit from his discarded joint. “You know Chad, this is the first hit I’ve had since Godspell in college.” Chad: “I don’t know what that is.” Heh. Alison is feeling the bliss. “Got any more?”

Paul threaten OlivierOlivier has regained consciousness and is none to please to see Paul keeping him company. Paul holds Olivier’s mobile where he can see it as he informs his former handler that Doctor Aldous Leekie will be arriving in a few hours. “He texted you.” Heh. Olivier accuses Paul of conspiring with at least two clones. “Just one actually,” Paul says smugly. He settles back in the chair next to Olivier’s bed. “Despite appearances,” Olivier says with difficulty, “I’m not the one in a compromising position here.” Heh. Paul leans forward so both their faces are reflected in the mirror positioned so Olivier can see the room. There’s a whole reflection theme here with scenes involving these two. The wall at Paul’s office, the camera in the Olivier’s office and then the security screens. And now here. Interesting.

“You blackmailed an ex-military intelligence guy to do your dirty work, O-live-ee-a Duvall.” Paul draws out his name with a sharp smile. He’s really having a good time here, finally having the upper hand on this worm of a man he so despises. “That’s a classy pseudonym, brah,” he snarks. Olivier looks away from Paul as he insincerely thanks him. Paul settles back in the chair again. “Your real name’s Kevin. You’re from Wenachetee, Washington. And you have a raft of unsavory sex warrants.” Olivier is quick to point out that the organization knows all about that already. Paul shrugs. “Yeah, but the police don’t.” He leans over and gives Olivier the full Batman. “And that’s why you’re going to listen when I tell you what happened last night.” Olivier exhales with trepidation. Not like he can run away or anything.

Back in the Pot Van, Chad compliments Alison ingenuity in blowing smoke…out the moon roof. “No freshener required,” she sighs. Chad compliments her on finally getting rid of Donnie. They’re sharing a thermos as well, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t coffee. “I gather you and Aynsley aren’t exactly booking nooners,” she shoots back snarkily. Chad announces that he and Alison are sharks. “We stop moving, we die.” Alison sultrily reveals she’s watched Chad on his late-night runs “in those sexy tees.” He admires her tight glutes and pecs. Alison supposes he could bench press her. Chad agrees. They look at each other. “Bet you could bounce me like a ball,” Alison drawls and she means for him to try. Chad snickers and decides that Alison’s maybe had too much. He takes the joint from her as she wonders if it’s Chad who maybe hasn’t had enough. “What are we doing here?” he asks, cluing in. “I’m objectifying you,” Alison clarifies nonchalant, “sexually. To get back at Donnie.” Chad decides he should really have a problem with this, but he doesn’t and Alison knows it. He unzips his pants and they lunge at each other, frantically scrambling around in the driver’s seat to get it done.

Cosima answers the door to Delphine who hopes she’s not disturbing her. “Impossible,” Cos says and takes the bull by the horns by immediately addressing the kiss issue as her having a thing for jumping to the wrong conclusion. Delphine hesitantly offers that she’s never…”I know. I know. You’re not gay. And I’m a total idiot,” Cosima apologizes. Delphine sighs and smiles, relieved to get that out of the way. Cosima takes her coat. “I just want to make crazy science with you. Totally crazy science.” Aw. Delphine chuckles in relief because she’s been reading up on the Dyad Institute. “Did you know that Doctor Leekie, he has built a dedicated department for transgenic organ transplants?” Cosima is amused because she was just “dorking-out so hard about the Dyad Institute’s extrapolation of murine models.” They are entertained to have both been on the same wavelength. They gather before Cosima’s laptop and Delphine sighs that it’s so great to finally meet someone who “gets it. Who gets me.” Cosima smiles at her. “Yeah, ditto. Obvs.”

Delphine closes her eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about that kiss,” she admits. “Uh—like in a not bad way?” Cosima asks, cautious. Heh. Delphine goes into a spiral about how she’s never thought of bi-sexuality for herself though as a scientist she knows that sexuality is a spectrum (not a speculum as I first typed) but that “social bias is the…the codified attraction. It’s contrary to the biological facts, you know?”

“That’s…oddly romantic,” Cosima says and they giggle. “And totally encouraging,” Cos adds seriously. Delphine reaches out to caress Cosima’s cheek and then her lips and then pulls her in for a passionate kiss.

Meanwhile, if the minivan be a rockin’… Nosy Meera and her kids head for their car and she has to head them off from investigating the rocking and rolling minivan. Chad and Alison have moved into the back seat of the minivan.  All da Clone Sisters be getting’ some action tonight! “You want me to coach you?” Alison grunts? Hilariously, their brand of sex talk requires sports metaphors. Alison: “You’re in the end zone! You’re in the end zone!” Chad: “Yeah! Yeah, you’re my coach!” Alison: “Touchdown!” Heeeee.

And the stand off of the Suburban housewives begins...Later that night, a liberated if disheveled Alison drives home scream singing along with Liz Phair’s Bitch, only to stop as an enraged Aynsley runs out in front of Alison’s car and demands she get out. “Meera saw you screwing my husband. Everyone knows you screwed my husband!” So, it’s not that she screwed Chad, it’s that everyone knows about it. Got it. These suburban mom rules are tricky. Alison rolls down the window to snark that maybe Aynsley should pay more attention to Chad than she does to Alison. Aynsley screams for Alison to get out of the car. “You have no idea who you are dealing with!” Alison knows exactly who Aynsley is, “you’re a sleazy, watcher spy.” Aynsley thinks that’s rich, “coming from a back-stabbing psycho slut like you!” Behind them, a family watches from their front stoop as others wander into the street to see the show. Alison starts to raise the window in Aynsley’s face who reaches in to slap at her. It’s a slap fest for a few seconds until Aynsely grabs the back of Alison’s head and slams it into the steering wheel.

Aynsley snickers “ha ha” but for Alison it’s the last straw and, as the chorus to Bitch blares across the soundtrack, Alison shoves the door open, knocking Aynsley to the ground, and they proceed to smack the crap out of each other.

Angie and Art enter the morgue. “Hey, hey, hey, Morgie,” Angie greets Cute Colin who is eating a banana while reading a book with only two laid out corpses to keep him company. Angie says she needs all the information on Sarah Manning and Art describes Beth and the means of her death. “You processed her remains.” Cute Colin points out that he processes lots of bodies. “Is there a problem?” Art downloads that they have a problem with the fingerprints from Jane Doe in the gravel crusher which are spooky close to two other victims. “Yeah, one’s Sarah Manning,” Angie says, rising up from where she was studying the wounds of one of Cute Colin’s lunch guests, “the other is a…” she catches Art’s sharp look, “…totally other woman,” she finishes.

Cute Colin calls up Beth’s death shot on the screen. “Sarah Manning. Suicide by train.” Art and Angie are stunned by her resemblance to “Beth”. “It’s uncanny,” Angie murmurs. Art can’t even talk; he’s transfixed by the image on the screen. Angie asks Cute Colin for the name and address of the person who identified her.

At FFF, Sarah hurries to pack up her shit as Fee gets the information from Cute Colin who says he couldn’t lie to Art and Angie. “There are records, your signature, address.” Fee is freaking out but suggests Cute Colin take a hot bath or something to calm down and hangs up. “Shit! Sarah!” he calls as Sarah grabs up Helena’s coat. “You can handle this, yeah?” she says. “Cops? Yeah. Where are you going to go?” Sarah has no idea.

Someone pounds on the door. Sarah and Fee go into crisis mode but before they can do more than dance in place, Alison calls out begging for Felix to be home. The two of them open the door. Drunk, Alison lounges in the doorway clutching her more than half drunk wine bottle. Sarah to Fee: “You gotta be effin’ kidding me.” Alison: “Bad things have happened to me.” Fee soothes that he would love to hear about them, but right now she needs to go. Alison goes with Sarah and as they drive off in Alison’s car, she drunkenly murmurs that she can’t go back to her house. “I shagged Chad,” she confesses. Heh. “And Aynsley attacked me in the middle of the street. I…degraded myself and I disgraced my children and I can’t go back there.” By now, Sarah is laughing. She decides she seriously underestimated Alison. “I hope you kicked her arse.” Alison: “I did. Kind of.” She admits she doesn’t want to divorce Donnie but can’t keep lying to him and her kids. “How can we possibly sustain this insanity?” Sarah agrees that they can’t. “I don’t know if Art’s going to throw me in jail or if Cosima’s gonna nark us out to the Neolutionists.” Alison: “Don’t forget Helena. She’s always fun.” Good point. Sarah: “All I know is I came back to fix things. Be a real mom to Kira.” She wonders what would happen if they told them, presumably meaning their families. “You mean come out?” Alison asks. Yup. That’s where Sarah is going with this. They exchange glances then look forward and sigh heavily and at the same time.

At the floating gulag, Helena lies on the floor staring at the photo of Kira. “I miss you, mummy,” she repeats the lines from Kira letter over and over as she sniffles and cries. She reads the return address from the corner of the envelope and even shapes the house numbers with her fingers.

Doctor Leekie has finally arrived at the hospital. Paul tells Olivier that he doctored the security feed at the club so that it showed only one clone, Beth (Sarah). Olivier thinks it won’t work, that Leekie is too smart, but Paul says it will if Olivier sticks to the story that there was only one clone. Leekie enters the room to hear Paul telling Olivier that he needs to stop blaming himself. Paul stands to introduce himself, but Leekie already knows who he is, of course. “I hear great things.” They shake, the manly men, as Olivier whines to Leekie that “she” took my tail. Leekie: “Shut up, Olivier.”

Cosima, I think you rocked her world...In bed with Cosima post facto, Delphine is crying. “I cry after sex with boys too,” she reassures Cosima. “But I am never this hungry. I would kill for some ice cream.” Elated and high off the lovin’, Cosima gets up to get them some Eskimo pies. Cosima puts her excellent red coat over her really lovely bra and panty set. And now I’m totally pulled out of the scene wondering why they’re both in their underwear having just finished having sex. I get that shows have a bigger conundrum here regarding nudity because of all the top and bottom lady bits to hide, and I can even buy that, being as it was her first time with a woman, Delphine may have opted to keep her bra on. I can even buy that, out of consideration for Delphine, Cosima did the same. But no one made any tacit or otherwise nod to that and also, why again are they both still wearing their panties? Not that wispy fabric would be an impediment for a goal oriented lover (plus can even add to the fun) but do you see where my mind goes because of this? We’ve seen plenty of Sarah naked, even her bare bum in the beginning of the episode, but now suddenly everyone got a case of the modest? Totally pulls me out. As I just demonstrated.

Anyway. Delphine doesn’t know what an Eskimo pie is. “Prepare yourself. You’re about to become an addicted,” Cosima warns. “I already am,” Delphine replies. The minute she’s gone, Delphine is up and rifling through her desk, and let me note that Delphine is not wearing a matching set of lingerie, which I do appreciate (despite my issues with the other) as it does add that bit of reality to the proceedings. Also, I love the DNA skin on Cosima’s laptop. Perfect. Having no luck with the desk, Delphine rifles through the books and then finds Katja’s metal briefcase, which is now empty. She finally locates a satchel tucked behind a large blue vase on the upper shelf on the bookcase. Inside she finds Katja’s passport, Cosima’s notes and a flash drive. She powers up the flash drive and flips through Cosima’s research and then opens a file from the satchel and hits the jackpot. Copies of the other clones IDs and a hand-made family tree Cosima’s compiled about her Clone Sisters, which includes Alison, Sarah…and Kira. I love the little black box with a skull that Cos has used to account for Helena. Delphine gasps and swears. In French, natch.

Olivier is feeding Paul’s story to Leekie, that Helena impersonated Beth and if Paul hadn’t been there, she would have killed him. “She admitted she killed Beth and took over her life. Aldous, she is completely insane.” That at least is truth. Leekie looks up at Paul. “Welcome to the big picture.” Paul: “Yes sir.” You have no idea. The doctor comes to roust them now that visiting hours are over. Leekie tells Olivier to rest and heal and that wasn’t creepy at all.

Paul and Leekie pedeconference as Leekie notes that Paul has now proven his mettle. He wants to talk with Paul the next day about next steps. His phone rings with Delphine in crisis. She demands he promise her that Cosima is safe. “Her quest, Aldous, it’s all perfectly natural.” Leekie swears he’s protecting Cosima. Delphine reveals that Cosima is not only researching her own biology but is aware of eight other clones. “She’s had contact!” Delphine says, excited. Leekie insists he needs names and Delphine feeds him the names of the already dead clones. Janika Zingler. Danielle Fournier. Katja Obinger. “Helena, but there’s no last name.” Leekie hasn’t been surprised by any of these names, but he pings on Helena and then Delphine adds Alison, Beth, and Sarah to the pot. “Sarah Manning,” Leekie says, on alert. “Anything else on her?” Delphine does not give up Kira but rather says there’s nothing else on Sarah and disconnects with the excuse that Cosima is coming back.

Wait a second... Alison's the one who's drunk, why is Siobhan seeing double?Siobhan is sleeping on the couch when Sarah lets herself in. Concerned, she asks if everything is okay. “Yeah, it’s time, Siobhan,” Sarah says. “Time I told you what’s really going on.” Surprised that Sarah is coming clean much less so soon and so easily, Siobhan is all ears. Sarah gestures for Alison to come into the room and introduces her (still drunk) Clone Sister to her stunned foster mother.

Siobhan and Drunk Alison sit at the kitchen table splitting a bottle while Sarah hangs back and lets her foster mother baby her Clone Sister. Siobhan encourages Alison to tell her more. “It can’t get any stranger than human cloning.” Alison talks about where she and her family live and that a thousand years ago she went to university for kinesiology. “University?” Siobhan repeats, delighted. “Where’d you gone wrong?” she snarks at Sarah. “That’s just basically massage therapy, innit?” Sarah scoffsf.  Alison waves the scotch bottle and objects that it’s much more than that. “It heals.” Siobhan snags the bottle from her hand as she finishes that then she got married, “and everything is shit,” she decides, finally breaking down.

Siobhan reaches for her, but then more pieces click into place. “She came to see Kira in your place, didn’t she?” she says to Sarah. Sarah grimaces and braces for the accusation but Siobhan merely says that she knew something was up. “Yeah, sorry, the crazy one, Helena, was after me,” Sarah quickly explains. Siobhan clicks off the Clone Sisters to make sure she’s got it all straight. “There’s probably thousands of us,” Alison surmises, “unless Helena’s killed them all. We’re all messed up,” she tells Siobhan but excepts Sarah from those ranks. “I’m the biggest mess there is, Alison,” Sarah says sadly. Alison disagrees. “You say ‘eff-it’. I tried to say ‘eff-it’ today and I blew up my whole life.” Sarah and Siobhan exchange looks. “I just wanted to say ‘eff-it’,” Alison continues, crying. “Eff-you. And I eff’ed-it. I eff’ed it all up.” Sarah hides her smirk as Siobhan goes into mother hen mode and coddles Alison up into a guest bedroom. Alison thinks Siobhan is lovely. “You know, my mother wouldn’t be this lovely, Sarah. My mother would’ve put me in therapy.”

Art and Angie invade Felix’s Fun Flat. Felix plays mourning brother and identifies the picture of Beth’s corpse again as Sarah saying it was such a shock, “seeing her lying there on that slab all…dead, really.” Heh. Art has his back to Felix and is in all brooding detective mode. Angie confirms that Fee’s foster sister didn’t have any sisters. “Just me,” Fee answers. Heh again. Fee goes on about how he keeps asking how he didn’t see the suicide signs. Art feeds him Beth’s name but Fee pulls off not knowing who she is. Art roams around Fee’s now empty easels to the stack of canvases in the back and asks if he can take a look. Fee allows and when Art holds up the portrait of Cosima, Fee claims he’s been painting the many sides of Sarah. “I called that series ‘Twisted Sister.’” Ha! Art likes them. “It’s all working out your grief.” Fee: “Yes. Wherever it takes me.” Finding nothing overtly suspicious, Art and Angie take their leave of Fee, but as they walk down the hall, Art claims he’s been there before (he has?). He hits a few buttons on his mobile…and Felix’s phone rings. Art’s rung him back from when Fee rang Art while Sarah was in Neolution retrieving Paul. Wait, hadn’t Fee called him on the office phone?

Art and Angie can hear Fee answer the phone inside. Art disconnects and explains how last night he got a phone call. “Some punk with an English accent says he wants to talk about Beth. Then he hangs up.” Angie wants to bring Fee in and shake him up but Art thinks it’s too early. “I want to get a better picture of this whole deal first.”

At the hospital, a different doctor, possibly a nurse, glances around and then pulls the sheet up over the back of a sleeping Olivier. He then lifts the sheet off Olivier’s feet. When Olivier asks what the doctor/nurse is doing, he asks if Olivier has lost any sensation in his feet. When Olivier denies it, the doctor/nurse sticks a needle in his heel. Olivier grimaces. The doctor/nurse advises Olivier get some rest and then, as he leaves, adds that Doctor Leekie sends his regards. Olivier blanches to hear that but he doesn’t have much time to do anything about it as he immediately foams at the mouth, goes into cardiac arrest, and dies. Now who didn’t see that coming? Anyone?

Back at Mrs. S.’s, Sarah is again flipping through the photo album and remarks that she knows there’s more in there between the lines. Siobhan asks what it is Sarah needs and how she can help. Sarah says Alison, Cosima, and Beth’s mothers all wanted babies enough to undergo the in vitro. “So why did mine give me up?” Hesitant, Siobhan admits that there were rumors about the children in the black that they were hiding, like Sarah. “What do you mean ‘in the black’?” Sarah asks. Siobhan clarifies that it means children who were undocumented and thus outside the system. As they talk, Kira quietly makes her way downstairs to listen.

“Rumor was these kids were the subject of medical experiments,” Siobhan reveals. Sarah wants to know what kind of experiments but Siobhan doesn’t know. “It was a paranoid time in a radical fringe. Everything was rumor then.” Seeing something at the door, Kira goes to open it, disregarding Siobhan’s earlier chiding about opening the door to uninvited people. Sarah thinks it likely Carlton would know the identity of her birth mother. I think it likely that Carlton is going to show up in person next season. Siobhan agrees he might know but might not tell her. Still it’s possible her contacts might still be able to get her in touch with him, though the last she heard he was in prison, but she’ll try.

And the s*** just hit the fan...With a wary glance at her two moms, Kira slowly approaches the front door and pulls the curtain back to see…Helena. They press hands together through the window and Helena looks up to see her jacket hanging on the coat hook. She smiles at Kira who smiles back and then looks over her shoulder at where Sarah and Siobhan sit in the kitchen. Helena follows her gaze and loses her smile. Without hesitation, Kira unlocks the door. To be fair, she’s already met Aunt Alison and has shown to be preternatural about her mother’s Clone Sisters. She has no reason to think this isn’t another fun new friend who looks like Mommy. But still.

Sarah tells Siobhan she just wants to know who she is. “You’re still you,” Siobhan replies immediately and she lovingly strokes Sarah’s cheek. “Remember that. You’re a survivor,” she adds with a proud if sad smile. Sarah takes a moment and settles herself…and then looks over her shoulder to see the opened front door. She slowly gets up and goes to the door, calling for Kira. Sarah sees her leather jacket hanging where she’d left Helena’s coat. “It’s Helena!” she yells and runs out the door. Siobhan is on her feet, running full tilt behind her a second later.

Screaming Kira’s name, Sarah takes off down the snowy street after Helena and Kira whom she just barely glimpses turning the far corner. To Helena’s credit (I can’t believe I just typed that) Kira is bundled up in her jacket, boots, hat, and mittens. How Sarah and Siobhan missed all that going on is anyone’s guess.

Helena slides into an alleyway as Kira asks where they’re going. “I’m taking you to meet someone,” Helena tells her. “How can you be Sarah’s daughter, child? How can that be?”

Sarah runs down the street, screaming Kira’s name.

“You’re just like my mum,” Kira tells Helena, who denies it. “She’s not real.” Kira: “Of course she is.”

Sarah runs. Really, really fast. How is she not sliding on the ice and falling on her arse?

Kira puts her mittened hand on Helena’s face and calls her name. “Yes, angel?” Helena replies. Kira: “What happened to you?” Helena answers in a quiet voice. “I don’t know.” Kira embraces her and Helena starts to sob. Has anyone ever shown Helena any genuine sympathy and affection as this little girl is now giving her? Oh my gawd, I’m feeling empathy for Crazy Clone. Curse you, writers!

Sarah skids to a stop on the corner. Unable to see Kira, she screams her name again.

In the alley, Helena is having a painful revelation. Sarah’s voice reaches them and Kira tells Helena that she should go home now. Overcome, Helena manages to agree and asks if Kira knows the way. “Of course,” Kira duhs. Cute. Kira heads to the mouth of the alley. “Goodnight, angel,” Helena calls after her.

Sarah calls Kira’s name again and this time Kira answers, cheerily calling “Mommy!” with a wide smile as she waves and steps into the street. Behind her, Helena comes into view in the mouth of the alley, as though keeping watch until Kira is safely returned. Sarah screams for Kira to wait there, but it’s too late. An SUV slams into Kira, throwing her down the street. HOLY SHIT!

Sarah runs into the street to her child. In the alley, having seen the whole thing close up, Helena has a breakdown.

End Credits.

Next week: Unconscious Selection

Delphine/Cosima gif via tumblr

Kiersten Hallie Krum writes smart, sharp & sexy romantic suspense. Find her snarking her way across social media as @kierstenkrum and on her web site and blog at

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1. TheGardner
Shit forgot you were doing these. I guess that's one good thing about being stuck in Atlanta traffic, ugh why/how do people live here?

OK now for fans of Lost Girl, what Delphine did to Cosima was a "spy bang". She sexed her into submission, then gathered and relayed intel for Dr. Leekie. The first time I watched this episode I remember thinking who has sex in their underwear besides teenagers in car backseats or people getting it on in public? I suppose they could have simply redressed, I know for me the first thing I do after a good romp is run and put my bra back on, uh right. I understand that boobage is evil or whatever, but I agree it does take you out of the scene a bit.

Let me just say, in case I haven't before, I love Allison! She is the stereotypical suburban housewife, with her little cookie cutter house and seemingly perfect life when it/she is anything but. Her self destruction is so entertaining to, um watch.

The Paul/Sarah relationship feels both flat and a little orced. I get that he is supposed to be in love with her, I just really don't get why. I find tge relationship she has with her brother Felix far more compelling. Their interactions are seemless, as if they really are brother and sister.

Helena is so batshit crazy and wtf was up with that endinn
2. Minime
I love the Siobhan, Felix and Sarah stuff! The evolution of Sarah and Siobhan is riveting. I loved Maria Doyle Kennedy in The Tudors she is a fabulous actress and I am so happy to see them using her full talents. As for Allison I can't get enough of her I love her slow decline and seeing that she is tightly would because she is just as much a mess as Sarah, they really are more alike then any of the other clones. Allison really tries to be "normal" but in the end she has so much to loose just as Sarah does.
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