Jul 15 2013 9:24am

True Blood Season 6, Episode 5 Recap: What God Wants

Ben and Sookie in True Blood 6x05****SPOILERS****

On last week’s True Blood we saw Alcide sink deeper into the hole of Packmaster bad decisions and were stunned when Sookie took action at the end. We’re all worried about the fates of 1, 2, 3 and 4—Andy’s girls—and what Bill might do to Jessica after the fact.

Faerie lives are in danger. We may have spotted Warlow. Will the shifters come out of the proverbial closet? Will Willa end up back at her maker’s side?

Missed an episode? Catch up with recaps of True Blood episodes 6x016x02, 6x03, and 6x04. And now, onto the recap of last night's episode 6x05, “Fuck the Pain Away”:

Before we get into this too far, does anyone else see the “strong sexual content” and “nudity” advisories as show teasers? Because I swear I start trying to guess if it’s going to be Sookie shacking up or a mass werewolf strip-down the second those “warnings” pop up on the screen.

The episode picks up where our last one ended: Sookie calling out Ben as Warlow even with her legs wrapped around the good-looking guy. Ben admits to being Warlow, but also professes his love for Sookie, says they’re destined to be together. Sook isn’t buying it. We continue to see her take control of her life as she calls out the obvious question: “Then why did you kill my parents?”

Warlow drops a bomb on Sookie. He says her parents were trying to kill her and that’s why he intervened and killed them. She calls bullshit and lashes out at him.

Jessica feels awful about draining the faerie girls, and Bill is sympathetic. …until Jessica’s blood high makes her try to seduce him. He’s not having that (causing everyone at home to breathe a sigh of relief).

Sookie is finally taking control of her life and it’s good to see. The book version of Sookie often was labeled as TSTL. It’s about time we see her making smarter decisions. Here she lets Ben/Warlow know that no one owns her, she doesn’t belong to any vampire, and he doesn’t get to just say they’re destined and magically get in her pants.

This, of course, makes for a perfect time for Bill to show up. Only he’s not there for Sookie; he wants Ben/Warlow. He invokes the “as your maker” bit and Ben has to leave with him. Lilith’s progeny now belongs to Bill!

Andy discovers the bodies of his four daughters on the floor of Bill Compton’s house. Jessica watches his misery from a closet before running away. Luckily, one of the girls is still alive.

Pam is in government custody. She sees the experiments—fang removal, hamster wheel and, of course, vampire sex—as they lead her to a holding cell.

Sarah Newlin in True Blood Season 6Sarah Newlin is batty. She suggests that Governor Burrell replace Willa with a new baby with Sarah. He, of course, is incredibly offended.

We get a Lilith flashback to 3500 BC and get to see Ben/Warlow before he was turned vampire. Lilith finds him alone at night, strips him down, has sex that’s so fast I doubt much really happened, then she decides to turn him. We may know how he got turned, but the scene was a bit lacking for my taste. That said, she told him he was destined to save the vampire race.

Cut to Bill extracting a syringe of Ben/Warlow’s blood, and calling him their salvation.

Sarah shows up at Jason’s house saying she’d like to save his soul. Of course, this being crazy Sarah Newlin, she twists God’s goals into her own. I laughed loudly when she proclaimed: “I truly believe God wants me to fuck you.” Jason obliges. In several positions, even.

Andy gives his daughter vampire blood and she regains consciousness. At least Jessica didn’t kill all four girls. Poor Andy.

Alcide continues to search for Sam and Emma. He’s in a bar trying to get information, but no one knows anything—or at least they don’t want to talk to a wolf that isn’t their packmaster.

Alcide’s dad asks the question a lot of viewers have had on their mind: Why is Alcide so hellbent on finding Emma? He asks if he’s doing it because it’s right—or if it's to please his girlfriend. Alcide lashes out, claims to be his own man. I hope it makes him think though, because I miss the Alcide that was a good guy, the one we trusted.

Jason and Jessica in True BloodYou know that time you made a drunk phone call to your ex? Well, Jessica shows up high on faerie blood at Jason’s house asking if he ever loved her. So, you know, that wasn’t her best choice anyway, but with Sarah Newlin in the next room? Sarah calls the SWAT team in on Jessica and she’s taken away. Then, in typical Sarah fashion, she accuses Jason of defiling her. Insert massive eyeroll here.

Eric and Tara have turned themselves in to the government, in an attempt to save Pam. Eric finds himself in a windowless room with three other vampires and a couple of racquetballs. It’s a to-the-death type game. Eric wins, of course, but it illustrates the mindset at the camp. He asks about Pam, but everyone ignores him.

Meanwhile, they’ve got Pam meeting with a psychologist. He offers to give her a living donor to feed from, if she provides truthful answers in their sessions.

Sookie goes to Lafayette to help figure out her feelings with the whole Ben/Warlow thing. She admits she actually believed Ben when he said he loved her. She wants LaLa’s help to find the truth.

Terry calls an old Marine buddy and asks his friend to kill him. His friend agrees, but something more is going on here. They won’t actually kill Terry off that way.

Andy confides in Holly about what happened to his girls. His daughter tells him about Bill’s tests and how Jessica killed the others. Andy wants to go kill Bill, but Holly talks him out of it. His grief may bring them back together.

Jessica and Tara find each other inside the government’s vampire camp. Both are Level 3, as determined by the racquetball game. (Pam and Eric are Level 1.) Jessica is contemplating her nature and what it means in terms of her morality.

Pam’s therapy session takes a turn toward her maker. She gives a lovely speech about pain and what it means to say you’ll care about someone forever, but the foreshadowing is there.

Sookie and Lafayette perform a séance to talk to Sookie’s parents. We see when Warlow first met with them and told them what Sookie was and his plans to be with her. Her father decided he didn’t want her to become like Warlow, and he planned to kill her. Now he'd like to finish the job. Corbit takes over Lafayette’s body and puts Sookie in the trunk of a car.

Ben/Warlow blames Lilith for the slaughter of his village, of Niall’s family. We see the flashback of what happened. She didn’t warn him that he wouldn’t be able to resist their blood.

As predicted, they pit Eric and Pam against each other. The governor, Sarah, the psychologist, and Steve Newlin all standby and watch to see if Pam will kill Eric. It’s meant to be punishment for Eric turning Willa, but will the governor get a dose of what it means to be a maker instead?

The episode closes with Corbit (in Lafayette’s body) trying to drown Sookie in a river. Will she be able to save herself or will someone else come by to stop it?


Shirtless Ben/Warlow in the opening scene.

A quick flash of a topless woman being fed on by a vampire in Bill’s zone-out after discovering Jessica has killed the fae girls.

Mmm. Shirtless Eric. Even when he’s surrendering he’s our Viking.

Blurred vamp-speed sex involves two very naked vampires in captivity.

Full-frontal Lilith is back, but sans blood. She rips off Ben/Warlow’s clothes and there’s incredibly quick sex before she decides to turn him.

Plenty of Jason Stackhouse booty as he and Sarah go at it hard and fast, and in three positions in just one scene. (Sarah finally gets to use that black lingerie.)

Then more Stackhouse ass the morning after.

But the booty doesn’t stop there! We get a glimpse of Sam’s backside as he climbs out of bed and gets dressed.


Sookie: I’d be real careful what you say right now, because I’ve got a vampire-killing ball of light behind your head.

Jessica: I feel like I want to have sex. Or die. Or die while having sex.

Sookie: I’m not yours or anybody’s. None of you know shit about love.

Sarah Newlin: When a woman comes to you in black lingerie, you unwrap her.

Jason to Sarah: That’s good, because Steve turned out to be a gay vampire.

Sarah: I truly believe God wants me to fuck you.

Jason, a bit later in bed with Sarah: How’s God feeling now?


While Chelsea Mueller runs Vampire Book Club, she won’t turn down a sexy werewolf, demon or faerie. Her appreciation of Alexander Skarsgard is well documented. Bother her on Twitter — @ChelseaVBC — she likes it.

Subscribe to this conversation (must be logged in):
1. Mags
Did anyone else notice that Benlow's pregnant wife is the same woman who tells Little Niall to hide? I'm wondering if Niall's got a Vader moment coming. It would also be a contract loophole for Sookie. I could be totally wrong, but I like the idea.
And you left out Sarah's line about Jason's "vampire loving pecker." That was the best one.
2. ChelseaMueller
@Mags - Definitely could be interesting to see how everything between Warlow and Niall connects.

The "vampire loving pecker" was a good one, but I'm still convinced her "God wants me..." line is the best. Too good... and so Sarah.
3. Natali V.
That was not Ben's wife, she was a woman in his clan, that's why he greeted her as they passed and asked how much longer (before she was due). She was Niall's mother, but not Ben's wife.
5. TheBookNympho
Natali I was just going to say the same thing. LOL
6. Nicole_Sloan11
The ending last night was very much a vampire version of 'The Hunger Games', and I take it we'll have (again) Lilith/Bill in Carrie-mode next week too. Honestly, I'm more worried/excited about what will happen with Eric and Pam than what will be of Sookie. I am soooo disappointed with Alcide, I actually cringe everytime he appears, he has become the biggest @$$ (arrrgghh!) It was good to have a good laugh again watching the show (there wasn't much of that for a long time) and hope it continues
Nicole Leapheart
7. BoxyFrown
LaLa's face when Sookie strolled into Merlotte's and laid out her problems was priceless.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who caught that incredibly fast and unsatisfying sexual encounter between Lillith and Warlow. I mean, you literally could have missed it.

Liking this season a lot more than I anticipated:)
8. ChelseaMueller
@BoxyFrown - We finally get a sex scene with Warlow, who has been rocking the open shirt thing for a couple episodes now and it's this worthless scene. Too short to be meaningful.

I liked this episode more than I have the last couple, which is really promising. I haven't laughed out loud at a True Blood ep in a long time. Felt good. :)
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