Jul 30 2012 11:32am

True Blood Season 5, Episode 8 Recap: Blood, Sex, and the Vampire God

Jason Stackhouse with two ladies in True Blood 5.08We had lots of movement on several storylines on this week’s True Blood. Less huge world changes, but lots of setting things up.

Also, lots of naked Joe Manganiello.

Last week we learned: Vampires can get high on (special) vampire blood, Sookie will run out of fae powers, Sam likes to roll around on the ground while sniffing things for police purposes, Hoyt can find love in a hate group, and Russell Edgington looks lovely in a hat.

(Need to catch up? Check out our previous recaps: Episode 5.01 |Episode 5.02 | Episode 5.03 | Episode 5.04 | Episode 5.05 | Episode 5.06 | Episode 5.07)


Skinwalking Luna?! I sounded like someone’s mother the moment it happened, too. Aloud I said, “Oh, she did not just shift into Sam.” Of course she did. Look, Luna, I get the desire to handle things yourself, protect what’s yours. I like proactive, strong women, but turning yourself into your boyfriend? Not cool. (I admit, the fainting did soften the blow, and eventually we know she didn’t do it purposefully but… )

High vampire fun continues. Anyone else wonder what they had to do for those beads?

Eric Northman in True Blood’s Somebody That I Used to KnowEric trying to do the right thing—while bloody and otherwise—causes intense attraction. (Well, so does the Alexander Skarsgard part, but you know what I mean.)

Jason giving Sookie a pep talk is sweet and, surprisingly, on point. It was nice to hear him talk about her love for Bill (though, I’m steadfastly Team Eric), the chance to see Gran again and the like.

Alcide knows how to treat a lady…on his knees. Also, booty, booty and more booty. Hell, it’s more Joe Manganiello nakedness than you get in Magic Mike.


Anyone else think Salome was, at first, angling for a three-way with the human woman tied to the bed?

Redneck hate group kidnaps Jessica with the expectation of Hoyt staking her. And my heart breaks. Luckily, he does the right thing and works to save her.

Speaking of heartbreak. Oh, Lafayette, I want to hug you.

It’s nice to see the faeries outside of the decadent club as they try to help Sookie discover the identity of the vampire who killed her parents.

The werewolf pack continues to be asshats. Really, they need Alcide something fierce. Unfortunately, the vampires aren’t the only ones wanting to feast on humans at the moment.

Pam and Tara in True Blood season 5 episode 8Pam’s present for Tara. Awesome on so many levels.

Remember how everyone had their fingers crossed that Russell and Steve would get together? It’s working.

WTF-ERY as only True Blood can provide

Did I mention Luna shifting into Sam? Still reeling.

Apparently Nigel (the burned vampire) is all about eating kids. So… there’s that.

Real Sam talking to Luna-as-Sam. Enough said.


After Luna shifts into Sam we see his booty as he sashays out of the hospital. The feminine walk didn’t hurt that rear one bit.

Alcide and his werewolf second are having naked alone time. Heh. He’s on his knees between her legs when their scene starts, then he’s behind her, then they’re against a wall and finally they make it—with flying leaps—to the bed. Lots of Alcide ass. The world rejoices.

Bill in True Blood Season 5FAVORITE QUOTES

Bill: We were in the presence of god.
Eric: We were high as fucking kites.

Jason (after being zapped by Sookie): I’m fine. You got me in the head.

Russell: God has the most beautiful tits I’ve ever seen.

Lafayette: Hookah, I ain’t in the helpin’ business no more. I’m in the fuck off while I smoke a blunt business, and business is about to tick way the fuck up.

Pam: You don’t know me that well. My mad face and my happy face are the same.


I haven’t been all that engaged with Sam’s story this season, but it was probably the most interesting for me this episode. And while I know the Alcide sex scene was thrown in there just to appease fans wanting it, I still took gratuitous pleasure in it. How many times did you guys rewind that scene? Let’s be honest here.


While Chelsea Mueller runs Vampire Book Club, she won’t turn down a sexy werewolf, demon or faerie. Her appreciation of Alexander Skarsgard is well documented. Bother her on Twitter - @ChelseaVBC — she likes it.

Subscribe to this conversation (must be logged in):
1. Bells
Awesome post Chelsea! This episode was very entertaining and I enjoyed the same parts that you did. Luna as Sam was hilarious and I cannot wait for Russell and Steve as a couple! So much fun! And Alcide...WOWWWWWWZZZZZERSSSSSS!!!
2. Smash Attack
I wondered what they had to do for those beads! :D My heart was breaking for Hoyt too, and Lafayette and Jesus continue to break my heart.

And then we have Alcide. Joe. Adonis. Perfection. Whatever his name is. *sigh* JD told him to find a new pack. If that means leaving the area, I will kick that wolf in the nads.

This was one of the better episodes so far. BEST QUOTES EVAR last night. You forgot "I don't give a twirly fuck" from Jason and Tara's "white trash fuck twat". *snort*
3. ChelseaMueller
@Bells - Can you imagine Russell and Steve's first date? Heh.

@Smash Attack - Maybe if Alcide leaves the area, he'll move in next to me. *snickers* Really, though, I don't think that will happen, because he won't leave those wolves to suffer under JD.

... and excellent quote additions!
K.M. Jackson
4. kwanawrites
Chelsea, fantastic recap! You got all the best quotes. Pam with her mad face and her happy face, I just about died laughing and totally repeated it to my husband.
I will admit to watching it 2x for that Mr. Alcide. I finally feel like I got my wasted Magic Mike monies worth with that scene. And Sookie you know she is off the deep end when Jason is the voice of reason. Oh bless her heart. *rolls eyes* I hope Russel comes after her and her magic stalls like a faulty car battery.
5. ChelseaMueller
And Sookie you know she is off the deep end when Jason is the voice of reason.
Oh, Kwana, you nailed it right there.
6. AmandaB1203
Luna as Sam was hilarious and surprising. That walk and the attitude was priceless. Quick question tho, why is Sam so shiftable? First his brother, now his girlfriend...getting weird.

Seeing Eric trying to do Tue right thing, is amazingly hot! I swoon when he's bad, but fall for him when he's good. Mmm...Eric. I'm not sure how he's going to pull his butt out of this situation, and save Bill at the same time. And he has to save Bill, their are total besties now!

LaFayette, oh dear sweet LaFayette. He needs more than a blunt, he needs a three week coma.

Not a bad episode at all. Well, any episode with Alcede's ass is good stuff in my book.
7. ChelseaMueller
@AmandaB1203 - That's right. Any episode with that much Alcide nakedness is a good ep.
8. J-me
I burst out laughing when I read the last line of your reivew, Chelsea.
"How many times did you guys rewind that scene? Let’s be honest here."
Cause I rewound it like 4 times. It was EPIC! So far the best thing that's happened all season!
I was bouncing up and down on my seat I was so excited that we finally got some decent Alcide sex/booty.. and lots of it!! How much did you want to be that girl when her hand slides down and grabs it! oh yeah!! and he growls, how hot!??
To say that my partner was not impressed with Alcide's perfect ass being displayed by our theatre projector, is an understatement.
Oh, I am still smiling!! :)
9. CindyS
I thought this episode was just plain fun - there were so many lol moments and I had to rewind 3 times to see the final line by Eric because he did such a great job underplaying it with the 'whatyadoing?' to Bill. And I agree that seeing Eric be the one holding it all together was hot.
When Luna changed into Sam my immediate thought was 'oh no, not again' but I was so happy she went to him immediately and it was funny and sweet but I do have to say I was worried I've have to see Sam kiss himself - ugh.
And it's official, I love Hoyt and I think Jessica is just plain stupid for not feeling it too. Glad he did the right thing although I never doubted him = if the writers had had him turn I may have given up with the show completely.
Lafayette's story was touching, funny and scary - I think the actor just nails it.
And I haven't re-watched the Alcide scene but I haven't deleted the show off the DVR either ;)
10. ChelseaMueller
@J-me - There is no shame at H&H for admiring a fine booty. None at all. However, I can't help with the partner part. My husband's usually in the other room. I need my alone time with True Blood.

@CindyS - Completely with you on the Luna/Sam bit. I was so worried it was going to be awful, and surprised to see her go to him. Also, cringed when I thought Sam was going to kiss himself.
11. ASfandancer
I usually dance to a different drummer and have never bought into the hype that dark bulging muscle bound guys were sexy. For that reason the naked Alcide sex scene held no interest for me. It reminded me of a neandrathal man dragging the little woman back to his cave. I've also always loved men with some body hair, and find the practice of bodybuilders removing it rather annoying. When Alcide shows me some good acting scenes and not just him growling and flexing his muscles I might start enjoying his character. Loving the interaction between Sookie and Jason, he's turning into a great brother. Liking Bill a little better not constantly panting after Sookie, except they are still writing his character as a pompous ass. Don't particularly like the Sam, Luna, hate group storyline, but have always liked Sam and he was great this week. So glad the old Lafayette is resurfacing. Eric excellent as usual, that actor does more with his eyes and facial expressions then any other actor in the business today. Loving the Pam Tara developing relationship, but I want Pam and Eric back together. Overall not a great episode, but not a bust. Stephen Moyer did a good job of directing what the writers provided.
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