Jul 9 2012 10:04am

True Blood Season 5, Episode 5 Recap: Cookie- and Russell-Tossing

Tara and Jessica fight it out in True Blood 505, Let’s Boot and RallyThings we learned last week: Sam finds his shifter buddies dead, Sookie is moving on to Alcide and Tara tried death by Jersey Shore.

Chelsea would normally be your recapper today, but I am subbing for her this week—she promised that this time I would get more nakedness. She lied. This really felt like a filler episode, tying up some loose ends and adding some new threads. It wasn’t all that exciting, but it made some things make more sense.


  • Sookie and Alcide are about to get it on, when all that Sookie drank comes back on Alcide’s shoes and that’s when Eric and Bill walk in.
  • Lafeyette freaks out about the voodoo demon thing he has going on and prays to Jesus and Jesus (the dead boyfriend) for a sign.
  • Jason dreams he’s back in his childhood again, with Sookie and their parents. Then his parent’s necks start to bleed from vampire bites.
  • Sookie, Eric, Bill and Alcide talk about finding Russell. Bill still thinks it was Nora that released Russell. They end up heading out to talk to Alcide’s employee, Doug, who is the only witness. Sookie telepathically links to Doug and finds out that the person who released Russell was a woman wearing an Authority necklace.
  • Meanwhile, Nora is still alive and in a cell at the Authority headquarters.
  • Pam makes Tara a bartender at Fangtasia, which Tara is all sorts of pissed about. Of course she tries to eat a customer and Pam kicks her ass which Jess is there to witness.
  • Skanky Authority lady gives orders that Bill and Eric have until dawn to find Russell or their lives are forfeit. And Roman is still mourning the loss of the kid Chancellor he killed.

Sam in True Blood Season 5 episode 5

  • Patrick and Terry are still being held hostage by their Iraq buddy Eller and he tells them the story of what happened when he got back. He was staying with another combat vet when their house caught on fire, he said the fire was possessed, that he googled it and it was an Ifrit. Terry has a flashback to Iraq the night they killed all the Iraqi’s and he remembers that he saw the Ifrit. He was cursed by a woman that he was under orders from Patrick to kill.
  • Jason and Andy go to the crime scene of Sam’s shifter friends and they talk a little bit about the fairy stripclub.
  • Jess and Tara have a heart to heart at Fangtasia about what it’s like to be a young vampire and they trade stories.
  • Eric and Bill get a call from the Authority and find out they are now on a time limit.
  • Jason finds a wooden bullet at the crime scene while Andy and he are doing their CSI thang.
  • Sookie and the boys end up at an old Asylum thanks to Sookie’s telepathy that somehow works through Doug, who I am now guessing is not a were. As they are searching they find a room full of dead bodies being eaten by rats which causes Doug to take the hell off.
  • Tara goes out for a smoke and runs into Hoyt who is dressed like a damn fool. He offers his blood and Tara refuses, but he goes into Fangtasia anyway.
  • Still in flashback mode, Terry and all the soldiers set the bodies on fire and he sees the Ifrit. He comes out of it and explains to Eller and Patrick what he saw and Eller lets them go. Patrick ends up knocking Eller out and Terry takes off outside for a smoke while Patrick ties Eller up. When Patrick is done, he comes outside and that’s when the Ifrit kills Eller.
  • Lafeytte wakes up from a dream to the head of Jesus sitting on his bedside table with his mouth sewn shut trying to talk to him. Tara’s mother also has Jesus in her bedroom. Umm WTF?!
  • Sookie and crew chase after Doug and he ends up in a room full of people in straitjackets hanging from the ceiling. They are Russell’s dinner, and they want out, but Sookie and crew head off to find Russell. Nice, guys!
  • Sam goes to tell Luna what happened to their friends, and when he leaves, he gets shot by a bunch of rednecks in a truck. Luna comes out to help and gets shot as well. Emma hears all the noise, runs outside, shifts and runs away.
  • Roman talks about the Sanguinista movement.
  • Jason goes to visit his parents’ grave.
  • At Fangtasia, Jess is in one stall feeding on a woman and Tara is in another feeding on Hoyt. Hoyt makes a noise and Jess realizes it’s him and throws him to safety, then dukes it out with Tara.
  • Sookie and the guys finally find Russell. Eric says he’s there to finish him off, Russell basically says I’d like to see you try. When Eric goes at him, Russell commands Alcide to shift.

Sookie and Alcide in True Blood’s Let’s Boot and RallyNUDITY INDEX

  • Alcide’s naked chest and back (damn you Sookie for tossing your cookies and ruining it all)
  • Jason’s naked chest and booty.  I bet I could bounce a quarter off that piece of yum.
  • For the love of gawd, stop showing us naked Andy. Poor Arlene was almost blinded.


  • Tara to Fangtasia patron: “I’m many things, but sweet ain’t one of them.”
  • Jason to Andy when talking about fairies: “Like Tinkerball.”
  • Andy to Jason: “I fucked a fairy?”
  • Eric to Doug when talking about New York: “New York City smells like pee and the people are rude.”

Do we still not care about the Iraq storyline? Why do you think the shifters are being targeted? And should we start taking bets on who Sookie sees naked next?


Natasha Carty reviews Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy on her website Wicked Little Pixie and lives in Toronto, Canada, with her cat, Seamus.

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Alma Katsu
1. Alma Katsu
Thanks, Natasha, for the recap. Any way you slice, that is a LOT of scenes for the writers to write. They are juggling a lot of balls in the area (no pun intended!) Hmm, I didn't get that Russell commanded Alcide to shift at the very end. It went by in a blur, so thanks for catching that.
It was interesting seeing Sookie next to Alcide. Joe M is one tall guy.
Lege Artis
2. LegeArtis
Great recap, Natasha!
Who else is positive that woman who freed Russel is Salome? I think Nora and Salome are in that Sanguinista thing together and ploting everything from start. Even Nora's capture.
Sookie gave us reason why she shouldn't go see Magic Mike. That is not reaction you supose to have when Joe start taking his clothes off.
OMG, I can't stand Lafayette's story. I don't like it. He already had his witch tantrum in 4th season, why we have to watch that again? He was way better when he was just a regular human...
Hoyt- What's up with emo thing?
Jessica is beautiful. Great look for her in this season.
Sam, Luna, Iraque, Jason- I don't care. I don't like the direction they went with Jason- him blaming vampires for everything bad in his life is not interesting and, worst of all, not new. Remember Felowship of the Sun in season #2?
Next episode looks promising. I expect lots of action and Russel behaving bad.
"Skanky authority lady"- LOL.
3. Miss_D
I just CANNOT with Terry's storyline. The rest of the episode was enjoyable but boy that's a drag to watch. I like the actor and wish they'd come up with something else for him. ::sigh::

I'm still clinging to my Tara/Sam love but the interactions with Hoyt & Jessica is pretty interesting to watch.

Sookie is much more enjoyable when she's not in the middle of the battle of Bill vs Eric for her heart. That crap is tired and really makes Sookie an irritating, victimized self-absorbed mess. I've always enjoyed Bill when he's far away from Sookie and that's not changed. Since their interactions last night weren't about their "twu wuv," I could take the scenes between them without gagging. Usually I look like Sookie barfing on Alcide during Beel/Sucky scenes. I still can't forgive this show for making me want to punch Eric with the mess of last season but this season is making amends somewhat. I can look at gifs of Steve Newlin dancing at Jessica's party in last week's ep all day with a smile.

Salome is totally a double agent and freed Russell (boy am I glad he's back!).

This show still has way too many storylines and characters.
4. ChelseaMueller
I'm with @Miss_D -- Just don't care about Terry's storyline. At all.

Also, I'm not a liar. :) You got STACKHOUSE ASS, Nat! Sure, we see Jason Stackhouse naked a lot, but let's not discount how damn fine that booty is.

Anyone else just want to stop time when Joe M. is ripping off that belt?
Natasha Carty
5. WickedLilPixie
@Alma - Sookie gets all the tall guys, I wonder who is taller Joe or Alex!
@Lege - I am 90% sure Skanky Authority Lady is the one who released Russell!
@Miss D - I still cackle at Newlin getting down
@Chels - Stackhouse ass doesn't compare to Alcide's belt. Swooooon
Kiersten Hallie Krum
6. Kiersten
This show is so overpacked right now, I don't even bothering watching live so I can fast forward everything that isn't Erik, Bill, Vamp Authority and, naturally, Alcide. Unfortunately, that means I have to watch Suck-ee too. Sometimes I watch Sam and the shifters when he isn't whinging. But Jason, Terry, Andy, Lafayette - they all get the FF treatment. Too much retread, too much drawn out for filler. This show could click clack along so much better if it got back to basics. I like the fairy storyline esp as it looks like it'll dovetail with the Russell storyline eventually, but that was supposed to be last season - remember the season opener w/the fairies? - and instead we got witches doing nothing much for 10 eps.

Also, OF COURSE it's Salome who freed Russell, tho I don't think Nora is aware of it. To have Bill immediately fixate on Nora as the culprit even when he and Erik have already talked about Salome having an unknown agenda is ridiculous. Honestly, half the time I feel like this show has no respect for its viewers. And then Alcide takes his clothes off again and all is well.

Joe M. is 6'5" and Anna P is like 5'2" so... He says he has a younger brother who is 6'7". Can you imagine?!
Natasha Carty
7. WickedLilPixie
@Kiersten - Joe's baby bro is on Twitter, but not as hot as Joe
8. ChelseaMueller
@Chels - Stackhouse ass doesn't compare to Alcide's belt. Swooooon
Now, that I can't argue with.
Joe M. is 6'5" and Anna P is like 5'2" so... He says he has a younger brother who is 6'7". Can you imagine?!
I can imagine a Manganiello sandwich. In fact, now I'm picturing it. And it's good.
Alma Katsu
9. Kyri0119
That was Lafeyette's mom not Tara's mom. Jesus used to be her nurse before he ran off to his grandfather.
Natasha Carty
10. WickedLilPixie
@Kyrio - Thank you! It happened so fast I wasn't 100% sure
Alma Katsu
11. CindyS
I really liked this episode if only for Sookie finally realizing her life is exactly what it is. All the wishing in the world will not bring back her life before Bill so stop whinning about it and move on - which I thought she did admirably enough and when the vamps tell her to get back in the truck she just lands on why she needs to go in without a ton of drama. Grateful I am.

Tara is gorgeous as a vamp and I suddenly liked the idea of Tara and Hoyt until Jess went all batshit crazy cause in the end I still like Jess and Hoyt.

With everyone on Terry - I like the actor also but don't care about the story.

And did I hear them call paranormal creatures soup?

I guess Sam is about to be a daddy now - shifter in charge of a were - maybe he and Alcide will end up together. Hey, at this point anything is possible.

And I watched the end twice because I didn't know why Alcide shifted and I didn't hear anything but I'm guessing you are right.

Alma Katsu
12. asfandancer
I must be the only woman watching this show who could care less about seeing Alcide shirtless, bottomless, or any other way. Yeah part of the appeal of this show is the good looking guys, but buff good looking guys are a dime a dozen on TV and in the movies so there has to be more then that to attract me. I have always enjoyed the acting quality on TB. Stephen M., Ryan K., Alexander S., Nelsan E., Todd L., are as attractive as Joe M. and they are all teriffic actors. Joe not so much, he seems to rely on his body and looks to get by on and it just doesn't do it for me. That's just my opinion.
Alma Katsu
13. LissaG
Anyone else think that Sook should be able to hold her liquor better? And if her hurling ruins my chances of seeing Joe shirtless more, someone's gonna have to hold my hair!
@asfandancer- I admit, I watch for Joe and Alex. I was reading this series (like many) years before the series and to be honest, I skipped most of season 1 all the way to this season because the storylines irritated me. This is my eye candy series.
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