Jul 16 2012 10:17am

True Blood Season 5, Episode 6 Recap: Absurd Magical Thinking

Eric glamours Alcide in True Blood Season 5 episode 6 HopelessOh, H&Hers, I’m back to recapping (yay!) and am happy to bring you the good, the bad, and the dirty (double yay!) from Sunday’s True Blood.

Things we learned last week: Russell is back, Alcide waited a long time for sexy time with Sookie, Lafayette is going crazy by way of magic, Hoyt’s a fangbanger, someone’s killing shifters, and fairies like to warn Jason about vampires and throw sexy parties. (Go with it.)

(Need to catch up? Check out our previous recaps: Episode 5.01 |Episode 5.02 | Episode 5.03 | Episode 5.04 | Episode 5.05)

This week Alcide, Eric, Bill, and Sam showed their true colors. No one had sex, but Joe Manganiello had his shirt off more than once.


Christopher Meloni as Roman in True Blood 5.06, HopelessHIGHLIGHTS

  • At the end of last week’s episode we saw Alcide begin to shift. This week we find out why: Another werewolf took him by the ankle. Looks like Russell still has wolves doing his bidding. Well, you can’t say they aren’t loyal.
  • Smoke monster looks cool, even if I am still not invested in this storyline.
  • Eric’s mischievous smile when Russell goes on an anti-Authority tirade.
  • Eric giving Alcide his blood after the “We owe you, wolf” line was hotter than expected. Alcide may have been the only one uncomfortable with it. Feel free to make “sandwich” references in the comments. Add in Eric’s touching requirement during the glamour that Alcide must always protect Sookie with his life, and I melted.
  • That wolf puppy is freaking adorable.
  • Alcide damn near jumps away when Sookie tries to touch him after Eric’s “she disgusts you” glamour. Thank goodness Sookie can give him back his memories. We can’t have Alcide not wanting to get naked with Sookie. Viewers would be crushed. Also, Sookie deserves a nice guy for a bit.
  • I won’t even pretend I didn’t literally clutch my chest when Sam, recovering from a gunshot wound, tells the nurse he’s not leaving Luna’s side.
  • Very happy to see Terry finally call out Patrick. I can like this storyline a bit better when Terry is stepping out of military, following-orders mode.
  • Possibly Lafayette’s visit with his mom, Ruby Jean.
  • Happy to see Alcide step up and challenge for pack master. His character needs to protect, and those wolves need his help. He may end up crushed under the burden of trying to save everyone – wolves, Sookie, etc. – but it’s going to make for good TV. Also, the more time he spends with werewolves, the more he’s shirtless. I think.
  • Cocktail party to celebrate capturing Russell. Nothing says way to capture the crazy like bubbly blood.
  • Roman and Eric’s verbal sparring was delightful. Eric can’t resist pushing Roman’s buttons. He can’t fall in line like Bill. Perhaps this episode is about characters showing their true colors. Alcide protects. Bill acquiesces. Eric denies authority (in the most political of ways).
  • Claude! Claude! Claude! (I like TV Claude so much more than book Claude. DAMN.)
  • Like they could really kill Russell? Sad to see Chris Meloni’s role complete, but watching Russell turn on him, take the stake and with a final “peace is for pussies” kill the leader of the Authority? Epic.

WTF-ERY as only True Blood can provide

  • Bill giving Eric the “you don’t make my decisions” talk. Really, these two are like a couple this season. Not only does Bill tell Eric he doesn’t get to make decisions for him, but Eric actually listens? For serious?
  • Pam’s hair.
  • Hoyt’s pitch to Jessica’s fangbanger bitch instead of her boyfriend. Never have I wanted to hug Jessica more. Dealing with your ex is bad enough, but this is a whole new level.

Alcide wakes up in Sookie’s bed in True Blood Season 5 episode 6NUDITY INDEX

  • One of Russell’s werewolves gets thrown into a wall by Eric. Upon hitting the floor, he shifts back and we get naked man booty.
  • A few moments later a wider-angle shot gives us extra naked werewolves.
  • Last week, we watched Alcide take off his belt. This week, he’s putting on pants. Either way, Joe Manganiello is shirtless, piled with abs and giving a peek at Apollo’s Belt. And it requires a rewind…or four.
  • More mostly-naked Alcide! He wakes up tucked in pink sheets and not really fitting on the bed. No booty though. And so, we wait.
  • Lady dancer booty at the fairy nightclub, along with many a bare-chested man.

Russell: “You’re no better than humans with your absurd magical thinking.”

Bill fake-glamouring Sookie (she can’t be glamoured, remember?): “It will be as though we never met.” (If only it were that easy, Bill.)

Eric, glamouring Alcide: “will keep your hands off her [Sookie], romantically. She kind of disgusts you.”

Hoyt to Jessica: “You want to feed on me 24/7? I love that.”

Eric: “Lilith can fucking blow me.”

Sookie to Alcide’s back: “Bye. I’m just going to stay here and quietly slip into a coma.”

Ruby Jean: “Save Jesus!”

Sookie to Jason: “Fairy nightclub? Are you back on V?”

Jason: “Hey! That’s my sister, you fairy fuckers!”

Russell: “I am the only honest one here. I want to gorge on human blood not because some fucking bible tells me to but because I like it.”


So, readers, are you team fairy yet? Are you ready for Alcide to become packmaster, if only for the bonus shirtless scenes? How excited are you to see the havoc Russell can enact next week?


While Chelsea Mueller runs Vampire Book Club, she won’t turn down a sexy werewolf, demon or faerie. Her appreciation of Alexander Skarsgard is well documented. Bother her on Twitter - @ChelseaVBC — she likes it.

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Kiersten Hallie Krum
1. Kiersten
That wolf puppy is freaking adorable.
Exact words I said when puppy was scratching at Granny's door.
We can’t have Alcide not wanting to get naked with Sookie.
Yes we can. We really, really can. Please.
Viewers would be crushed.
No we wouldn't. We really, really wouldn't. Though we would think Alcide had finally found some good taste.

I could watch the Bill & Erik show all day. "Boy scout." "Delinquent." They communicate without words now, they're so in tune. Also liked the "shut up, Suckee" look Erik shot her when Bill was explaining things to Authority goon about 'Doug'. Unfortunately, have to admit that Paquin & Moyer rocked the hell out of their scene when Bill fake glamoured Suckee.

As happy as I was to watch Alcide actually physically recoil from Suckee (finally!), I'm glad they didn't draw out Alicide's Erik-induced memory loss.

Suckee: "Fucking Erik." Alcide: "Fucking J.D." Suckee, singsong: "Thank you."

And I can't wait for him to get it on with that other wolf who stepped up to be his second. Now there is a worthy mate for him. I enjoyed all the subtle shifts in his face too before and during Erik's glamouring. More wolves please!!
2. Miss_D
We can’t have Alcide not wanting to get naked with Sookie. Viewers would be crushed. Also, Sookie deserves a nice guy for a bit.
Meh. I like Alcide ok, though it's still more about looking at him versus appreciating his actual personality, but I don't really have any yearning to see Alcide/Sookie. I don't hate it like I do Sucky/Beel but I'm not excited to see it. And I'm undecided on what Sookie needs aside from learning how to be a good friend. Glad to see her stressed and trying to find ways to mend her rift with Tara... oh wait. That would require Sookie being a good friend.

That smoke monster storyline could possibly be the worst on this show ever. It's utterly unenjoyable and a disservice to the actors. I always thought I would find the Hotshot storyline the worst plot on this show, but as distasteful as it was, I could at least watch it somewhat. I can't with this story and I hate that I am having to FF over Terry. :/

Also, Luna can leave any time now. I don't think she adds anything other than a pretty face. Pluis it's another impediment in my hope this show will put Tara & Sam back in each other's orbit.

I also enjoyed the wolf puppy - jury's still out on crazy granny, though.

I continue to wish this show didn't have 12908523495823 storylines. I miss the tight writing of S1 when everything all blended together. I swear I feel like I am watching 3498 different shows rolled into one with True Blood with all these storylines that seem to be standing alone instead of coming together.

I can't feel sorry for Jessica because I still think what she and Jason did to Hoyt was lowdown. It's like Brenda/Dylan/Kelly all over again.

It did warm my heart to see Eric be lowdown when he glamoured Alcide if for no other reason that it put him a step further away from that "special" version of himself he was for most of S4.
Lege Artis
3. LegeArtis
This week's best lines goes to Eric. He made me laugh several times, I loved him. :)
Russel is his old self again, and from the preview from next episode he will have a lot of fun causing havoc.
I can't remember who on the blog mentioned that new interesting pair would be Russel and Newlyn. It may be true- everybody from cast was buzzing about some very funny, interesting pairing... Heh.
Roman in Nike blue polo? LOL...
There are other things going on in this season beside vampires, but I honestly don't care...
4. ChelseaMueller
@Kiersten - Even if you're not a Sookie fan, it would be odd for Alcide's character not to want to be with her. He's pined for her for a long time. If he didn't hook up with her, we might not get sexy times with him for a bit. And I just don't want that. Plus, I think this is one area where they may stick closer to the source material.

That said, I'm very excited to see where things go with the woman from the pack. Curious to see if it ends up being Maria Star.

@Miss_D - So with you on the too many plot lines. I could do without Terry/Arlene for starters. Really.

@LegeArtis - You're right. Eric made me smile or laugh several times this episode.
rachel sternberg
5. rae70
Sookie really does annoy me!! UGH!

Yeah!! To more wolves and possibly more shirtless Alcide!) Maybe with his pack leader challenge we will meet Quinn (who sets up the challenges in the book). I was rooting for Alcide when that girl stepped up (Maria Starr? Hope so!) The puppy was adorable and do think/hope that Granny is being truthful.

Do you think because of Hoyts "rescue" that he will become good friends again with Jason in their anti-supe beliefs?

The smoke monster storyline is blah for me as well. I don't like all the different storylines, just plain too many to keep up with..

Bill and Eric did crack me up, especially Erics addendum of Alcide being repulsed by Sookie.. LOL!
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