Jun 11 2012 9:51am

True Blood Recap Season 5, Episode 1: Makers, Siblings, and Sex

Bill, Eric & co. in True Blood Season 5Last season on True Blood, Sookie called things off with both Eric and Bill. Jessica dumped Hoyt and got dirty with Jason. Eric and Bill killed Nan. Lafayette went full on medium. Alcide killed the pack master Marcus. Tara got shot in the face. And Russell Edgington broke out of his concrete prison.

So, you know, there were plenty of jumping off points for season five. The True Blood writers didn’t hold back for episode one. Expect blood, sex, grief, threats, fear, lust and even a party with college kids.


  • The episode brought us right back where things ended: Sookie on the floor holding Tara, who was missing part of her skull compliments of a shotgun blast from Debbie Pelt. Lafayette heard the shot and joins her downstairs. Then Pam arrives looking for her maker. Instead of getting time with Eric, she gets Sookie and Lafayette begging her to try turning Tara.
    This is especially epic as we know how big of a deal being a maker is—just think back to the process of Bill turning Jessica. The bond we’ve watched between Eric and Pam. Now imagine Tara bound to the woman who in the last season threated to “eat, fuck and kill” her. The possibilities here are exciting.
  • Rev. Steve Newlin back as a vampire. This is terrifying and creeping with potential. Vampires, in general, are manipulators. Give someone who worked fundraising and the 24-hour news cycle in his living days the powers of a vampire and you have some serious danger. And, of course, Jason Stackhouse isn’t the brightest man. It doesn’t take long for Steve to con his way into the naked human’s house.
  • Pam in sweats. There are certain things I never thought I’d see, and Pam wearing a “Wal-mart sweat suit for y’all” is one of them.
  • Oh, Sam, why do you think you’re protecting everyone by saying you killed Marcus? Oh, right. Hero complex. Well, you look nice naked.
  • Jessica claiming Jason as hers, going badass on Steve Newlin. Love seeing her accept her vampire nature and make a possessive move for Jason.
  • Eric spends a bit of the episode spooning Bill in the trunk of a car while being hauled into The Authority.
  • Few things please me more than seeing Eric get all sexy while covered in soot with flames erupting in the background. He’s a manly vampire! This is how we meet Nora. She was in the car taking Eric and Bill to visit The Authority. The car exploded. She killed the driver then went all hot-and-heavy makeout with my man Alexander Skarsgard Eric. That’s how vampire brothers and sisters greet each other, apparently.
  • Alcide visits Sookie and we get to watch her squirm knowing she just killed his ex. And his comment about how it smells like “lemons on top of ammonia on top of bleach” is far less comforting than he intended. And he follows it up by telling her that not only did Eric and Bill lie about killing Russell Edgington, but that the violent vampire King of Mississippi is on the loose.
  • Hoyt’s rallied the guys to hate on Jason for sleeping with Jessica. (Fair enough.) Poor Jason isn’t smart enough to realize he can’t mend this friendship with saying ’sorry I’m now sleeping with Jessica.’
  • Lafayette puts a stop to Sookie telling Alcide about Debbie’s death. He also stops her from taking Alcide’s offer of protection—and request for her to come stay with him. Probably for the best plot-wise, but imagine the possibilities if Sookie stayed at Alcide’s place!
  • Well, if we needed confirmation that Eric doesn’t dwell in the past, we get it. He and his vampire sister Nora have sex at the first opportunity. And it’s hot and dirty. Just what we expect from Eric. Bill has to stand outside and listen. This amused me to no end. Also: Naked Alexander Skarsgard, followed by him in low-slung jeans. Really, eye candy galore for fans of the Swede on this one.
  • I love when this show reminds us just how young Jessica is. Bill has given her his house while he’s away and she’s throwing a party with college kids and playing Rock Band. And there is awkwardness as Jessica is interested in a guy other than Jason, so he leaves with another girl—but doesn’t want to have sex with her. He’s all for Jessica. Poor guy.
  • Bill, Eric and Nora are captured by The Authority. This may be for the best, after all, the fake name they gave Eric was just befitting his Norse god looks.
  • When Tara rises it’s with a vengeance. She bursts from the earth, and has Sookie on her back in a half-second. And we’re left with our first cliffhanger.

Lafayette and Sookie in Turn Turn TurnWTF-ERY (As only True Blood can provide)

  • Steve Newlin telling Jason he was jealous that his wife Sarah got to sleep with Jason. Then professing his love.
  • Sookie is getting very good at cleaning up brain matter and viscera in general. Life skills in Bon Temps?
  • Lafayette goes into his house, ready to try and deal with Jesus’ and his death. Sookie’s there to help with the cleanup. And Lafayette—who is in agony of the death of his boyfriend—finds that Jesus’ body is gone. Nelsan Ellis’s acting here is just remarkable as he tries to say goodbye.
  • Andy meets Holly’s kids while naked in bed with her. Really not much more to say here. Naked Andy. Smudged lipstick Holly. Two teenaged boys who look far too used to this.
  • The werewolf pack tortures Sam trying to get the location of Marcus. Eventually, Alcide shows up at Marcus’ gravesite and explains that he killed Marcus. Then werewolves start eating Marcus’ body. Including Marcus’s mom Martha. Even Alcide looks grossed out.
  • Lafayette shaved his head. It’s a grief thing, but still… Tara did that one too.

Luna in True Blood Season 5NUDITY INDEX

  • Jason Stackhouse partially obscured by a door, greeting Steve Newlin.
  • Female werewolf. Strategic hair style keeps her from actually being naked.
  • Sam Merlotte naked waiting on Luna’s front porch after fleeing the werewolf pack.
  • Naked Sam again—with plenty of booty—leaves with naked female werewolf.
  • Sheriff Andy is passed out, face down in a hotel room. Naked. Only to have Holly’s kids find him. Not Andy’s finest moment.
  • Showertime means Sookie huddling in the water remembering past hurts. This does not measure up to previous Sookie showers with Bill and Eric.
  • Eric and Nora enjoy the evening by having sex inside a storage container. She’s facing the wall, up against the metal, and he’s behind her. The Viking does have a thing for having sex standing up, doesn’t he? No complaints here. Also, the more ASkars booty, the better.

Jessica in Turn Turn TurnFAVORITE QUOTES

Pam on possibly turning Tara: “I can’t be the only one who’s noticed she’s missing half her head, now can I? Even if I tried, what’s to say she won’t rise up out of the ground tomorrow completely and utterly fucktarded?”

Jason: “Fangs are basically like twin hard-ons.”

Steve Newlin: “I am a gay, vampire American. And I love you, Jason Stackhouse.”

Sookie on why she didn’t call the cops after shooting Debbie Pelt: “I wanted to kill her.” (You and me both, Sook. You and me both.)

Lafayette to Sookie: “Sook, people need to say goodbye. People need to be said goodbye to.”

Lafayette to Alcide: “How the fuck you think you can protect her from an ancient pissed-off vampire when all werewolves do is piss off vampires even more?”

Eric on Nora: “We fight like siblings, but we fuck like champions.”

Sorority girl: “Wow, you just don’t seem like that much of an asshole.”
Jason: “Yeah. I swear to God I am, though.”

Scott Foley and Carrie Preston in True Blood Season 5 episode 1 Turn Turn Turn***

This season just may live up to the hype. Episode one opened the storyline in a way that just reveals more potential and didn’t feel nearly as scattershot as the varied plots of the last season. I’m looking forward to The Authority, possibilities of Alcide and Sookie, Tara as a vampire and, of course, more Eric. (Always more Eric.)

Lots to love this episode for me. What about you guys? Love? Hate? (Mad that I didn’t include anything about Terry and Arlene because I don’t care?!) Hit the comments to gush.


While Chelsea Mueller runs Vampire Book Club, she won’t turn down a sexy werewolf, demon or faerie. Her appreciation of Alexander Skarsgard is well documented. Bother her on Twitter - @ChelseaVBC — she likes it.

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Heather Waters
1. HeatherWaters
Oh, I didn't know Scott Foley had joined the cast! Interesting.

Haven't watched TB in a while, but I always enjoy your recaps, Chelsea. And the Nudity Index is FANTASTIC!
2. ChelseaMueller
@redline_ - Not sure how long Scott Foley's character will be around or where it will go. Should it get interesting maybe I'll let him be in my recap. ;)

Also, the only way Nudity Index could be better this time is if Alcide had dropped his pants, too. Really. We had Jason, Eric and Sam. Excellent eye candy for episode one.
Megan Frampton
3. MFrampton
I dropped this halfway through last season (keeping up with recaps, tho!), but this sounds like I should at least watch a few epis.

Yay Nudity Index! Yay for open-minded Swedes!
4. Airy
Does anyone else like Eric's sister better then Sookie? I was all for book Sookie and Eric beign together, but TV Sookie annoys me and is not good enough for him. I dont even trust Nora and I like her better!

Also liked this premier better then last seasons. Last seasons was all over the place and then never went back to most of that story! Made me sad, that was the best book. But the episode where Eric is drunk off fairy blood is one of my favorites.
Lege Artis
5. LegeArtis
I watched it. Sookie, I still don't like you. ( And for the record, when Joe Manganiello calles you to come home with him, you don't think, you run!)
Pam is my favorite! Her lines are priceless. Hmm, when Tara had girlfriend, someone teased that Pam and her could get together. And wouldn't that be funny now...?
I 'm glad we get to see Russel Edgington again, this show after fourth season and lack of manliness from Bill and Eric needs one seriously bad-ass vampire.
Is it just me or are Eric and Bill having more chemistry together than any other couple...? Alex and Stephen look relaxed with eachother, and they are sending Brokefang Mountain vibe all over the screen...When Eric is is having champion sex and Bill was listening outside, I had a flashback of Blay listening Qhuinn doing his thing in a dressing room.
Andy, Hoyt ( I didn't like that girlfriendf**er comment, it was...unimaginative) and werevolves eating their dead alpha were fail for me....
Great recap, Chelsea!
6. ChelseaMueller
@Airy - The Eric and Nora chemistry was sizzling. I was a happy camper.

@LegeArtis - Thanks! I like the idea of a kind-of bromance between Bill and Eric this season. A friend suggested last night that maybe Russell will end up dating Steve Newlin. Thoughts?
Megan Frampton
7. MFrampton
@LegeArtis: "Brokefang Mountain?" You just KILLED me!
Ginny Doremus
8. FaeRhi

I LOVED Eric and Bill in the trunk. According to a fan site on FB, the director got frustrated because Stephen Moyer and Alexander Skarsgard couldn't stop giggling during the filming of that scene. Just once, I'd like to be on the set of this show. (or more than once.)

LOVED last night's episode. I squealed like a girl and may have wet myself with excitement.
LOVED the line "We fight like siblings, but we fuck like champions." -- Has anyone seen the British TV Show of Robin Hood -- that's where "Nora" is from. She plays Marianne. Love her. Though she's slimmed down some for this role.
LOVE the fact that Lafayette's mohawk is gone. Thank the Good Lord!!!

Please continue with the nudity index. I do love a good Naked Alexander Skarsgard. In the "Entertainment Weekly" that's coming out this week with a True Blood feature (available for digital download -- I have it on my Nook), I love the various actor profiles from it, especially Kristin Bauer van Straten (Pam), who says "Anna and I walked in on naked Alex banging Yvetta for about a hundred takes, and Alex is Swedish and comfortable, and after a while he's walking around naked and it's just like, whatever. That day, whenever we needed to refer to his most private of parts, for some reason we were calling it IKEA because he's Swedish."
-- again, I want to be able to walk around on that set.
Anyone else?
Lege Artis
9. LegeArtis
@Chelsea- Russel and Steve...? They were the villains in their seasons, so they certainly have something in common to talk about. I can see that:
Russel: I hate that lying Viking!
Steve: His maker killed himself because of me.
Russel: High five!
Ginny Doremus
10. FaeRhi
Oh, also, in terms of Joe Manganiello being naked, in the aforementioned "Entertainment Weekly", Joe's "naked truth" bit was the following:
"Between his work in the stripper movie Magic Mike and this season of True Blood, Manganiello's fans will not be disappointed. 'I'm going to have one helluva soft-core-porn reel.'"
11. Miss_D
I really enjoyed last night's episode.

Highlights for me included Jason & Steve's conversation (that had me laughing out loud), All of Pam's scenes (her disdain for Sucky warms my heart), Sheriff Andy, Hoyt (kudos to him for calling out Jason), Eric, Bill no where near Sucky, Lafayette.

This show still suffers from too many characters & storylines, though. I don't dislike Luna but that whole storyline with her Sam and Alcide doesn't excite me. Also, I need the show to put Tara & Sam back together. I don't know why they won't do that. Poor Lafayette.
12. Alma Katsu
Nice recap, Chelsea! You know, I'd been wondering how they were going to top last season's "if there's a man in the scene, he might as well be shirtless" but somehow they managed. I think there should be a drinking game for TB: you chug a shot every time there's a naked man on screen. You'd be drunk in no time.
Marcela Fandino
13. BookaholicCat
I really hope this season is better than previous becasue I'm almost ready to give up on this series.
Great recap Chelsea, thank you ;)
Ginny Doremus
14. FaeRhi
Has anyone else read the books and found themselves wishing (especially for Eric & Sookie's sake... and now Tara's) that that HADN'T gone so far away from the books? I'm glad that Lafayette is still alive because I love him but there's so much extraneous stuff.... I agree with @Miss_D, Luna doesn't need to be there? Alcide and Sam, hell yes, but Luna and Emma? Meh.
15. ChelseaMueller
@Alma - I thought the same thing! I did notice it was much heavier on male nudity than female nudity this time, too. Nice surprise!

@BookaholicCat - Thanks. If the show continues like the first episode, we might have a great season. My fingers are crossed, though, as I know how quickly things can go assbackwards on TB.
16. Airy
@FaeRhi I thought the same at first but I like not knowing whats going to happen. I am kinda excited to see Pam as Tara's maker too. Tara in the book was kinda boring. But in the TV show shes a hot headed independent women who will now have to listen to one of her most hated enemies, who is also quite impatient, as well. It should be quite entertaining. I do agree with there being too much unnessiary events going on. Last season felt all over the place and you only got a few moments with the main story before it went to all the side story fluff.
Lana Baker
17. lanalucy
I will never be able to refer to IKEA again without snickering in my head. :D
18. CindyS
Lafayette yelling at Alcide was fantastic.

Pam snarking about wearing a 'walmart sweat suit' making it obvious she is a team player was awesome. I hope we get a lot more of her this season and yeah, I see her loving Tara although who created the minister and ran off?

I'm guessing Eric is totally over Sookie which feels weirds considering she dumped him about an hour ago - talk about moving on. And then Bill and Eric say they'll leave and never show their faces again? I guess in vampire time, leaving your progeny behind (Pam/Jessica) for a few centuries is just a short time.

Looks interesting so far.

Lorraine Ochoa
19. MommyWoman
While I did love your recap, I am immensely curious about what happened to Terry while he was in Iraq. It would be very nice to find out that little Mikey wasn't the cause of all the badness in Arlene's life! You just know there were some evil vamps, witches, or djinn(?) in the Mid-East that could certainly wreak havoc with the naive US/European "supes"! Besides, isn't it about that time where they throw in yet another supernatural creature to confuse us?
Adaiah La Vonda
20. Adaiah
Glad Debbie's gone but my god girl go with some dignity. Don't go to kill someone with a shot gun then turn and beg for mercy! If only Tara hadn't returned. Fingers were crossed that she wouldn't rise. Hopefully she won't be able to cope and the Authority will have to give her the True Death!
23. WJewel88
I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by the premiere. I was not at all excited about season 5 after the disaster season 4 turned out to be in my opinion. It began with such promise, darnit! We all know Eric dislikes feelings so I can't say I'm surprised how quickly he buried them and moved on. I'm sure he's not used to being dumped, if he ever has been.

Was surprised by Eric and Bill's chemistry. And Eric and Nora's chemistry. I am happy to see the vampires get their time in the spotlight this season. I am intrigued by the Authority storyline. Not sure if I trust Nora either, but hey, she one lucky bee-otch to get it from her "brother" right away in episode one! Love the Nudity Index!

Glad Russell is back. Interested to see how Pam and Tara's maker/child relationship will be. I can see Russell and Newlin together, too.

I'm more interested to see where the season goes now that I've seen the premiere!
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