Mar 16 2012 12:13pm

The Vampire Diaries Season 3, Episode 16: Three Vampires Walk into a Bar


Previously on The Vampire Diaries: 

Alaric was shot by his apparently psycho new girlfriend Dr. Meredith Fell, Damon and Stefan killed and turned Bonnie’s mother to protect Elena, Bonnie needed some space from Elena while caring for her in-vampire-transition deadbeat-but-possibly-redeemed (?) mother and getting over the fact that her family’s had to sacrifice everything AGAIN for Elena, the Originals continued to bore me (though luckily most have left town for a time, at least), Matt and Elena continued to bond, Damon and Elena put the hate back in their love-hate relationship (is this because he turned Bonnie’s mom, slept with Rebekah, both, or something else? can’t remember), and Tyler was still AWOL.

(Need to catch up? Visit our TVD recap index for links to past episode recaps.)

This week in “1912”:


—The Salvatore brothers in period clothing! YUM. This was undoubtedly my favorite thing about the episode. Damon, especially, rocked the look, IMO. Thanks, Ian Somerhalder!

Damon and Stefan in TVD—Alaric survived the gun shot wound (at first I thought this meant Meredith was supernatural, but apparently she healed him with vampire blood; whatever—he lived to provide us with Matt Davis hotness another day and that’s what really matters)

—Sheriff Forbes jailed Alaric for the murder of Meredith’s fiance and in general was awesome (at least SOMEBODY in this town does her job)

—Sage, a vampire Damon and Stefan (and Rebekah, apparently) knew in 1912, was pretty bad-ass with her boxing and “Who’s next?” attitude.

—Damon and Rebekah mocking “judgy” Stefan, because, I mean, it’s true: he can be totally judgy for someone who’s killed as many people as he has

—I appreciate how the show always comes back to Damon and Stefan and brotherly love, even if I don’t understand why the two always need to “owe” each other for some past wrong or favor or whatever to express it

Cassidy Freeman as Sage in The Vampire DiariesNeeds Improvement

—Matt and Elena’s spy skills; don’t quit your day job, kids

—The convo between Matt and Elena about why she loves the Salvatore brothers. TVD could REALLY do with a romance writer (or five) on the writing staff, because Elena listing her reasons for loving Stefan as 1) he made me feel safe, 2) I knew he’d worship love me forever, and 3) he couldn’t die did not do her any favors. The third point makes a lot of sense, actually, but Elena, girlfriend, that’s just not healthy.

—The show’s framing of flashback episodes. Someone is always sitting around telling another person about how things used to be, meaning the present-day scenes are incredibly dull. Last night’s bar scenes with Damon, Stefan, and Rebekah were no exception.

—The Delena extremes. Why is it that they’re always either BFFs or not speaking? I’d love to see some time spent hanging out for no good reason (a summer spent looking for Stefan does not count) and going to each other for comfort about minor things (deathbed kisses don’t count).

Rebekah, Damon, and StefanFAIL

—The lack of Tyler and Caroline, but especially Tyler. Someone needs to put an APB out on him, clearly. I know I’d like to run around Mystic Falls taping up REWARD posters.

—Why is Matt getting so much screen time??!! I guess I’m glad it’s with Elena rather than Caroline, but still, ugh. Go. Away.

—Elena freaking out at the sight of Stefan with blood on his face, obviously having just finished feeding on someone. Look, Elena, you are perfectly willing to forgive Stefan AND Damon for killing ZILLIONS of people when you don’t have to see it, so I think it’s all kinds of ridiculous when you act like this just because you’ve had to see it firsthand. Accept that you’re OK with them being serial killing sociopaths or dump their asses for once and for all and pretend you never enabled them, already.

—No shirtlessness

—The discovery that ALARIC is the one who’s been killing Council members because he’s gone crazy from dying and coming back to life so many times. I think it would’ve made much more sense if the ring just stopped working so well (hasn’t it been taking him longer to come back each time?) and he didn’t fully heal each time or something. I don’t understand why the ring would start possessing him or whatever after all this time.

Memorable Lines

Meredith: You date vampires, Elena; It shouldn’t surprise you that your guardian is a murderer.

Stefan: Okay, I’m freaking out. I’m ready to eat the whole waitstaff. Why do you need to hear me say it?

Damon: Scram. No one likes a lurker.

Damon: You wanna fight hunger, [or] you wanna fight me?

Subscribe to this conversation (must be logged in):
1. ChelseaMueller
This episode earned a big meh from me. I think they're staging for some interesting things, but there was too much let's sit around the bar/table/etc. and tell stories.

I liked Sage. Didn't like the lack of shirtlessness. Also, wanted Damon a little more invested in the other half of Team Handsome.

Adding to memorable lines:

Damon on Stefan's cold turkey approach: "He's on a master cleanse."
2. wsl0612
I'm really peeved that they've decided to have Alaric be a murderer, I loathe Meredith and want her out of there. If TVD sends Matt away too, I'm going to be very very close to dropping the show, if Ian weren't there I'd definitely have gone by now!
3. Taragel
You made it through! This one was a snoozer, so good for you.

(BTW, I like this new recap format! Very punchy and fun)

My fave bits were Sheriff Forbes and Damon getting all bitter and sarcastic again.

The flashbacks bored me to tears. As did Alaric and Girlfriend.

Matt was all up in Elena's personal space, eh? Good. Stay there. Don't go near my Caro! Lol.

Ugh. Whatever. I miss TYLER!
4. Terree
I put up with the show like everyone else... I'm sick of Stefan's brooding and I'm sick of Elena blaming Damon for everything. If Elena and Damon don't get together soon I may stop watching all together. As for Rick ...What the heck??? almost becoming what he hates? time to get Bonnie to seance the "spirit" out of him or something.... in about 4 shows... they will drag this one out for a while. ugggg
Alie V
5. ophelial
I actually liked this episode as most of season 3 has been 'meh' for me. I'm glad to see Stefan is trying to get back to his old self, but that it's not such an easy transformation. I hate when characters change their habits on a dime.
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