Nov 17 2011 7:06am

Flexible Heroines, and the Stubborn, Arrogant Heroes Who Love Them

Pride and Prejudice’s Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. DarcyStarting as far back as Pride and Prejudice’s Elizabeth Bennet, how many times has a heroine declaimed she could never fall in love with a man (ssh—it’s the hero!) because he’s arrogant, or pig-headed, or happens to despise flowers, and she’s a botanist—only to be enfolded in his arms whispering “I love you” at the end?

Turns out, a report in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology finds, that what people believe they want in an ideal mate is flexible when it comes to meeting real potential partners. In fact,the new study says, that “even though people had ideas of what traits and characteristics they wanted in a mate, they weren’t necessarily attracted to people with those traits and characteristics.”

So our heroine is not wrong in her declamation; she’s just...flexible.

What trait does your partner have that you never thought you’d find attractive—but you do now?

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Lori Howe
1. howehowse
Never say Never when looking for that special someone ... I swore I'd never marry: 1) someone in food & beverage business ; 2) ex-hippy; 3) rock-n-roller; 4) didn't take me dancing; and the big one: 5) a Yankee. What'd I get? All 5 Nevers rolled in to one terrific husband. And I still say that after 28 years. Never say never.
Carmen Pinzon
2. bungluna
What we say we want often has little to do with what characteristics actually engage us. I said I didn't want a jock; spent most of my life avoiding them and dating pudgy nerds! Then I met a millitary jock of all things and there went my resolve.

Untill you meet the someone who completes you, you have no idea of what characteristics are really important.
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