Aug 14 2011 4:30pm

John Hughes’s Jake Ryan Ruined Me for Real Men

As a child of the ’80s, nothing gets me more excited than seeing a John Hughes Movie Marathon. Case in point, one Sunday afternoon this summer I got nothing done because I saw Ferris Buller’s Day Off, Pretty in Pink, and Sixteen Candles all on back to back. And as usual, I saw the one man who has ruined many a lady: Jake Ryan.

Even tweeting that name brings out the swoons; I couldn’t believe how many women tweeted me back with dreamy sighs. Jake Ryan has become something of an urban legend, the perfect male. Through the ’80s to now, some of us still describe the perfect man as a Jake Ryan. But why? Let’s look him more closely (oh, please, let’s!):

Jake Ryan is the rich, sexy, popular guy from high school. The one we all lusted after, but knew realistically wouldn’t look twice at us. But the movie Jake is made of awesome and he is attainable. He dumps the cheerleader (nicely dumps her at that) for the quiet nerdy girl who’s been stalking him and giving him the eye for weeks. He takes her back to his place (in a bright red Porsche) the night after her sixteenth birthday is forgotten by her entire family and gives her cake. All whilst rocking the sexiest sweater vest known to mankind.

Excuse me, I’m having a case of the swoons.

But try finding the actor who played Jake Ryan, Michael Schoeffling, and you hit a brick wall. It seems he’s dropped off the face of the earth, Google him and you’ll find all sorts of theories. But one awesome H&H Facebook fan told me he does custom furniture and her friend has seen him with her own eyes. *drools*

Again, realistically we know there is no such thing as perfect. But we can still dream, can’t we? Bu

I want to know why, all these years later, Jake Ryan still makes us all weak in the knees. What was it about him that turned us intelligent ladies into mush?


Natasha Carty reviews Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy on her website Wicked Little Pixie and lives in Toronto, Canada, with her cat, Seamus.

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Jessica Turner
1. TheSpinecracker
So when are we going to visit your friend? And what furniture are we gonna get Jake-y to make us?
KB/KT Grant
2. KB/KT Grant
I'm still waiting for some guy to bake me a birthday cake for my birthday :(.

And only Jake Ryan can make a sweater vest oh so sexy.
Natasha Carty
3. WickedLilPixie
@Jess- I seem to need a wooden bed ;) @KB - On a table, by candlelight.
KB/KT Grant
4. Lisa (@coldmoonviolet)
He was also in Mermaids, which I also loved - lifelong Winona Ryder obession :-/
Tara B
6. box5angel
He is really cute. And you are so right with every word you wrote. :) And I heard the same thing about him making furniture now. Loved your comment about the sweater vest. lol
Natasha Carty
7. WickedLilPixie
@Box5angel - lol name me one other man that can rock a sweater vest...thats right NONE! ;)
KB/KT Grant
8. Grace S
He's got a custome furniture store near Wilkes-Barre, PA. According to my friend Kelley, who almost wet her pants when she was shopping for a specific kind of table and looked up to see Jake Ryan, he's even hotter now. And I quote "He looks like you KNOW Jake would have looked in his late 40s, super hot with the faintest salt and pepper at the sideburns." Also per my friend Kelley, he was also ridiculously nice. :)
Heather Waters
9. HeatherWaters
I do love Jake Ryan, but, confession: my favorite Michael Schoeffling character is actually Al Carver in Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken.
Natasha Carty
11. WickedLilPixie
@ Grace - It was you on FB wasn't it!!!

@Redline - I'm going to have to watch that!

@Box5angel - Oh HELL no!
Charli Mac
12. CharliMac
I have the hankering for some Jello Pudding Pops all of a sudden.

A trip to Wilkes Barre is now on my to do list. I live in PA and will enjoy the ride to stalk. :)
Tara B
13. box5angel
@WickedLilPixie Why not? LOL

@CharliMac I haven't had those in years. Yum!
Natasha Carty
14. WickedLilPixie
@Charli - ROTFLMAO! They're made by Popsicle now (I totally just read a book called Whatever Happend to Pudding Pops) @Box5 - Bill Cosby doesn't count! hah
KB/KT Grant
15. Slyn
Sigh....I love Jake Ryan. So much so that I had to marry a Joe Ryan. Close as I could get...
KB/KT Grant
16. taragel
He was swoonworthy! Although my adult self annoyingly likes to point out the fact that he let his drunk ex-girlfriend be taken home by a total stranger and practically gave the guy permission to do what he wanted with her.

@redline_ Was the chick in Wild Horses Gabrielle Anwar? Who's Fiona on Burn Notice these days? Because man, she looks sooo different, if so.

I think my favorite Michael S. character is Joe from Mermaids.
Heather Waters
17. HeatherWaters
@taragel -- Yep, that's her! I actually recognized her right away when I first saw Burn Notice. She was just really young in the movie.
jackie fushi
18. jax1341
Why would you not love Jake Ryan?! - He's gorgeous, rich, does indeed rock that sweater vest and gives the glimmer of hope that all of us could win the "hottie". Even if it shows my age - you can keep Edward, Jacob, Beiber, etc - I'll take Jake Ryan any day!! Wild Hearts Can't be Broken is a great little movie!
KB/KT Grant
19. Adriana m . grenot
I love the movie sixteen candles, MYfavorite actor is Jake ryan,I wish he would have done more movies, just look at him he so handsome:)
KB/KT Grant
20. where's
I'm glad the guy had the sense to get away from Hollywood. I've noticed
the most interesting people from childhood are never on the Internet?
I used to think they wanted to preserve their Brand, but I don't think
that's the case. They know what it's like to be King--and it's not that great.
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