Aug 9 2011 8:01am

Clive Owen Breaks Our Hearts with His Unfortunate Facial Hair

Yesterday, our sister site CriminalElement.com ran a post titled “Where Do You Keep Your Stash (or Stache)?” which showed some fun crime-related Etsy items. But that post triggered thoughts about pornstaches, inspired by this clip for The Killer Elite (coming September 23) which stars Jason Statham, Robert DeNiro, and Clive Owen.

Oh, Clive. I call foul on your facial shenanigans. Clive goes all Ron Jeremy on his face, sporting a ferociously ugly ’stache. A pornstache, in fact. To which we reply:













Thanks to ICanHazCheezburger for the graphic.

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Clare 2e
3. clare2e
What fresh follicular hell is this?! It's not just pornstache with Owen, it's patchy stash, which is the real offense. If you can't get the clean Selleck line, it's nothing but a furry Rorshach holding leftover lunch nuggets. At least the RDJ version appears glossy and groomed. Get thee to a clippery, Clive!
4. ChelseaMueller
Even if I wasn't creeped out by 'staches in general that would need to go. Badly.

Really, the man has to have a publicist and stylist. Someone needs to step in here.
6. Cindys
He was probably trying to get women to remember he's in the film - Jason Statham kicks ass - and damn, but even DeNiro looks hotter than him! ;)

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