Jul 25 2011 11:00am

True Blood Season Four, Episode Five: Sealed with a Kiss

Typical, everytime you fix a problem, two more come upA review of episode 5, “Me and The Devil” with enough ***spoilers*** to feed an alligator.

When this week’s episode of True Blood begins, Tommy is at the trailer park fighting Joe Lee, who’s  slowly choking the life out of Tommy. By pretending to be unconscious, Tommy turns the tables and starts choking JL instead. Of course then Tommy’s mom starts yelling at him to stop hurting Joe Lee and Tommy ends up fighting them both off.

Pretty soon he gets the upper hand against Joe Lee and beats the crap out of him with a lead pipe. Well, of course that didn’t make Mama happy, so when she jumps at Tommy screaming “I’ll kill you” he turns around to push her off him and the pipe in his hand connects with her head, killing her, too.

As wrong as this is going to sound, “Good riddance.”

In a combination state of panic and WTF just happened, Tommy shows up at Sheriff is the next best thing to MarshmallowsSam’s house with two dead bodies in his van beggin’ for his help. En route to dispose of the bodies, they’re pulled over by Officer Bellefluer, for some reason, and even though Tommy and his bloody clothes are hiding in the back of the van, Andy spots a little blood on Sam’s door and becomes suspicious. He demands that Sam open up the back for him to check it out. We get many shots of Tommy with a shovel raised above his head ready to kill Andy as soon as he opens the van, but thankfully when Andy opens the rear doors he sees a snapping crocodile. Sam quickly explains that he’s on the way to set the thing free, and Andy lets them leave. The moment was intense. I thought for sure Tommy didn’t have the sense to think up another way out of the situation. Lucky for Andy, he did.

So Sam and Tommy throw the two tarp-wrapped bodies in the creek and they begin to float down the river. Sam throws a handful of jumbo marshmallows in the water saying “Crocs love marshmallows” and the bodies are quickly taken care of.

Meanwhile, Tara, Lafayette and Jesus are at the graveyard informing Marnie that she has “fucked” them again by casting a spell on Pam now too. And when she informs them again that she honestly doesn’t know what happened Lafayette gives his best speech yet:

“This ‘dog ate my homework’ excuse it don’t really fly with the vampires because they sniff that shit and then they eat you like a fucking pot pie.”

Best ever! They leave Marnie in the woods and decide to scatter and run.

Jesus and Lafayette head to Mexico to stay with Jesus’s witch-y grandfather after he tells Lafayette the story of his first taste of power, when he (coached/demanded by his grandfather) captured a goat’s spirit by licking the blood off of the knife he made Jesus use to kill the poor goat. Jesus is sure that this is the kind of power they need on their side. So, yeah, they’re in Mexico now.

Just remember all those vampire-free good times Tara doesn’t want to run that far. She calls home to New Orleans to let her girlfriend know that she’s coming home soon, and she asks “Toni” who the hell Tara Thornton is because she’s got some mail at their house? So Tara finally decides she needs some girl talk with Sookie and ice cream and beer. She comes clean about everything she’s been doing in New Orleans and that she has a girlfriend and pretends her life in Bon Temps doesn’t exist, etc., etc. Then Eric comes into the room, and Tara freaks right out. Sookie does her best to convince Tara that Eric is different, and to please calm down, but Tara reminds Sookie of all the messed up things that Eric has done not only to Sookie, but to Tara and Lafayette as well, and she basically tells Sookie to eff off and runs out of the house.

Meanwhile, Jessica and Hoyt have rescued Jason off the side of the road and healed him using Jessica’s blood. And he heals so fast and so completely that he and Hoyt are at Merlotte’s the next day and Jason is trying to convince Hoyt that his sexual promiscuity is the reason for all the drama in his life:

“It’s like God is saying ‘Jason Stackhouse, you have fucked too many hot women. Now let’s see how you like it.’”

Jason talks calmly to Hoyt about being repeatedly violated, and thankfully he seems back to his old self, and seems pretty well adjusted to the whole thing.

Later Jason has a ridiculous dream (thanks to ingesting Jess’ blood) where Jessica is crawling all over him while Hoyt sits in the corner telling him he can’t believe that he’s just going to let Jessica do these things to him. And then Jessica starts panting “HOYT!” and Jason’s like “No. I’m JASON.” And she keeps moaning “HOYT. HOYT!” and he’s like “No, it’s Jason!” then for a half second it’s a nekked Hoyt riding Jason and moaning and then Jason wakes up. “Oh My Gravy.” Maybe he’s not so well adjusted after all.

Terry and Arlene have decided that their house needs a good cleansing of the Nothing could possibly go wrong, well except the demon-babyreligious nature. They’re convinced that there is a spirit in the house. Maybe even Rene’s. So they call Reverend Daniels who shows up with his new wife, Lettie Mae (Tara’s mom) to de-evil the place. After the house has been de-possessed later that night they share a tender moment in bed where they remind each other they need only believe in each other to know that they deserve to be happy. How much you wanna bet that statement comes back to bite them in the ass?

Pam and her rotting zombie icky face show up at Bill’s demanding retribution for what the necromancer has done to her and what she suspects to Eric too. (remember, no-one has heard from Eric). And even though the Authority has forbidden Bill from killing Marnie, by the end of the episode Bill has captured her and is holding her in the prison below his house. After questions and glamorizing her they realize that Marnie really doesn’t know what she’s doing, and most importantly doesn’t know how to reverse any of it.

We get a tiny little foreshadowing into Alcide’s possible future troubles whenWant to compare chests to see whose more Alpha? the pack master of Shreveport, who looks just like Luke Perry with long hair, shows up at Alcide’s house pissed off that he hasn’t registered with the pack even after being in town for four months. They mince words and the ass master, er I mean pack master, storms off in a huff.

After Tara’s verbal whipping, Eric doesn’t want to stay with Sookie. He can’t believe the awful things Tara said he’s done to her and her friends in the past. He’s out the door, but Sookie calls him back—queue up the the crescendo music! They hug. She kisses him on the cheek. He kisses her on the neck. Then she pulls back and they kiss. Yes, finally in season four with Eric Northman, not really being Eric Northman, he and Sookie finally make out.

And they’re neckin’ pretty hard on the front lawn. The producers, directors, whomever, practically have bells rings in the background as they make out. Ummm, we get it. We actually do see what’s happening, but thanks for the reminder.

You just can’t feel sorry for the girlSo Pam and Bill call a meeting for the remaining Sheriffs of Louisiana to inform them that there are witches out there, and what these witches can do to them. Some of the sheriffs join in on Pam’s pleading to destroy the witches, even though the Authority has forbid it. But then Pam slips up when she’s angrily pointing out that her body is rotting and that “the witch has erased Eric’s memory. Turned him into a walking shell.”

Bill jumps on her before she realizes what she’s done and he demands she tell him where Eric is. Pam would have held out but I don’t think her body could handle the torture (one of her ears fell off will she was standing there chatting). So, she confesses that Eric is at Sookie’s and Bill rushes out the door. He is SO not going to like what he’s about to stumble upon. The end.

I still can’t decide how I feel about Eric and Sookie. And what’s going to happen if/when Eric turns back into himself? So, what do you think about a Sookie and Eric hook-up? Long time coming, or big mistake?

Jessica Turner reviews Urban Fantasy, Paranormal and Sc-Fi Romances on her site The Spinecracker and is a trained chef who lives in San Diego with her very Irish husband.

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Megan Frampton
1. MFrampton
I didn't get to see this last night, but OMG they finally kissed! I will watch all kinds of werepanther awfulness to get to see this. And Jessica and Jason and Hoyt? Hmm...sounds fun.
2. ChelseaMueller
1. FINALLY! I've been waiting too long for a legit Eric/Sookie kiss. And the preview for the next episode makes me concerned that Bill is going to ruin some Viking vampire action. Bill's always ruining my fun.

2. Is it weird that I really enjoyed the Jason/Jessica/Hoyt dream? It made me laugh, and kind of stirred images of Jason circa Season 1.

3. I like Godric evil. For serious.
3. CindyS
I'm thinking my memory of last season isn't quite up to snuff because I have been somewhat confused by Bill and his new ways. It's like Sookie never existed. Don't get me wrong, I like the new powerful Bill as opposed to the Bill who was constantly getting whipped but I am surprised how over Sookie he is.

I'm loving puppy dog Eric but I have a feeling when he gets his memory back, Sookie will be in big trouble. Mainly for seeing a side of him he wouldn't want anyone to see.

We don't get previews for next episodes up here so for me, the show ends with Bill racing out the door and yeah, I know he's going to ruin some fun for Sookie and Eric. I don't find the chemistry the same as the one between Bill and Sookie - pure fire whereas Eric/Sookie are too cute right now.

And finally, I'm over Sam. He's not a cute, gentle guy at all. He's much scarier than I ever thought. I prefer Alcide because you already know he's trouble and might have a past but Sam has officially hit my creepy button.

Jessica Turner
4. TheSpinecracker
@ Megan: no trailer park werepanther crap in this episode! *queue applause and elation*

@Chelsea: Jason really does seem like the "old" Jason. Let's hope that sticks around for a bit... I don't think it will.

@Cindy: As far as Bill goes, Sookie told him she bascially hated him and she never wanted to see him again, and then left for a year. Maybe he thinks he's doing the admirable thing and giving her her wishes.
I think you are SO right about Eric flipping out whenever he finally comes to. How dare someone think he has a heart... and feelings.
5. CK
It's about freakin' time!! Bill is reavealed for what he truly is. Sookie and Eric finally get it on. Who knows what AB will do with the show, but in the books when Eric gets his memory back he retains his feelings for Sookie. And even in the show, before the memory loss, we've been seeing glimpses of him having feelings for her that he doesn't understand and doesn't really want to have. They're supposed to be together!!
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