Apr 28 2011 9:33am

Recap! Royal Wedding Snark-n-Swoon

Missed it?  Want to relive it?  Want to experience it through Team H&H's bleary eyes?  We got up early, so you didn't have to.  Revel in the eye-rolling absurdity and swoon-worthy romance of it all with this recap of the big moments on William & Kate's royal wedding day.

6:20 AM Amen, people!  

6:16 AM The Vows.  She looks so teary!  (And slightly medicated, to be honest.)
6:08 AM Processional.  Gorgeous music.  17 foot train.  Adorable bridesmaids.  Kinda perfect.
6:00 AM Kate begins to step out of the car.  TRAIN.  The dress is confirmed to be by Sarah Burton/Alexander McQueen.
5:57 AM The dress appears to be a strapless with a long-sleeved lace overlay.  I am all a-flutter.
5:56AM Kate's sister may have just stolen the show by escorting in the beautiful, adorable flower girls.  SO CUTE. 
5:48 AM The Queen is heading up the red carpet.  We get a trumpet fanfare, which seems like a pleasant way to start one's day. 
5:45 AM Oh, Camilla's not wearing white.  It's just one of those pale pastel getups.  Sorry, it's really hard to concentrate with the Queen's yellow imprinting on my brain.
5:42 AM And suddenly we cut to the Queen.  HOLY DAFFODILS, she's wearing a   ghastly bright yellow.  As if to say, “Yo, I'm still here!”
5:39 AM Prince Charles is mobile!  Cue the inevitable Diana wedding chatter from newscasters.  Wait a Camilla wearing white?  Huh.
5:36 AM Another spate of little old ladies in pink.  The clergy has gathered.  The seats are really filling up.  I'd love to see one of those awkward airplane moments when it turns out two people have been issued the same seats.
5:29 AM The Middleton family motors toward the abbey and we see a string of buses (buses!) carting what is presumably the wedding party.  The Middletons roll up, Mum gets out...and the grey blob of a Mother-of-the-Bride dress she's picked promptly puts us all to sleep.  Meh.
5:22 AM William is working the crowd, talking to the Spencer family at the moment.  They have the best seats in the house save for the wedding party.  WHO ARE THOSE THREE GORGEOUS GIRLS?  (No, he's not flirting.  He's probably related.)
5:18 AM They manage to find a parking spot and William gets out.  He seems remarkably human.  Beside him, Harry's life appears to be threatened by the ceremonial tassels on his own uniform.
5:13 AM There he is! Our hero!  Prince William motors toward the abbey in full regalia!  He's wearing bright red!  The crowd goes wild!
5:02 AM Wedding guest arrives in wheelchair, cast dyed lavender to match her dress.  Is it a ploy to get a better view of the ceremony?
4:47 AM Elton John is in the house.  He has very good seats.  Elton probably always has very good seats.
4:45 AM The Tweet-Heat map shows California and New York  as #royalwedding leaders on a tweets-per-second basis.  (I'm not making this up.)  Apparently, Montana doesn't give a crap.
4:30 AM It's a spate of gorgeous young blonds in neutral-tone dresses with dangerous-looking  head-foliage! 
4:19 AM The Beckhams!  Posh Spice shows her countrywomen what's what with an awesome sleek black number.  Her hat is perched at an angle so severe, it seems impossible.   Oh, and her accessories are great: that guy on her arm is gorgeous!
4:13 AM Hurrah! Everybody loves a band!  ...Whoa.  I'm really confused by this business of matching one's lavender suit/dress to one's lavender hat.  
4:07 AM Newscaster interviewing St. Andrews headmaster asks about Kate: “Was she ever naughty?”  and manages to make the word “naughty” sound like a combination of chocolate cake and stiff upper lip.
4:03AM What's this?  A single old-school motorcar empty save for a super-adorable chauffeur in very proper chauffeur getup.  I'm suddenly having delicious Downton Abbey flashbacks.  
3:51 AM Have determined that we are all one big happy global family.  The only difference is that when people are waving and being stupid in front of cameras in London, they scream “Hi, Mum” instead of “Hi, Mom.”  Meanwhile more hats and a surprising number of pink outfits. 
3:43 AM According to the schedule, (szhedule), Kate will be leaving her hotel 9 minutes prior to the service. I guess when you are guaranteed to not have traffic you can cut it that fine.
3:32 AM The guests are filing in to the abbey.  Look at all of those sensible pumps!  Who the hell is wearing bright yellow?!  Head foliage (fascinating!) and matchy-matchy purses!  What is this madness?
3:26 AM Yep, they've already invoked the ghost, running video of Diana's 1981 wedding. Newscasters say the Spencer family has prime seats in the abbey as if to represent her presence.
3:17 AM Awesome video of three khaki-clad astronauts wishing Kate & William well.  I think that one astronaut's gravity-spazzed hair at :43 or so will give Kate's style some competition.  (Well, only if she goes for an up-d0.)

3:12AM BBCA has kicked things off.  The Royal Wedding coverage is on!  Ooh, this is so romantic!  Will it rain?  Will she really do her own makeup?  Why has her brother left the hotel?  What does it all mean???

Subscribe to this conversation (must be logged in):
1. frykitty
I'm seeing lots of red dresses. Doesn't a red dress mean "I slept with him first?" If it doesn't, it should. I'm deciding that right now. Look at all those hussies.
Saundra Peck
2. sk1336
Good morning H&H...lovely day for some romance!!! I will pretend Anderson Cooper of CNN is my date! Off to make some tea, since Anderson is too busy to do it for me!!!
Saundra Peck
3. sk1336
Oooohhhhh frykitty...judging already! Good eye!
I love it. Definitely red at a wedding makes me think matador at a bullfight. Ok really, tea.
Liz Maverick
4. Liz Maverick
@frykitty Where's the red? I saw pink and yellow and then Victoria rocking the black!

@sk1336 Good morning! Make me a cup, too. *needs caffeine*
5. frykitty
@liz I saw at least three early on, one with a wild hat. And not just, red, but RED. I thought red and black were no-nos. Oh, and white. Oh hell, just go naked.
Saundra Peck
6. sk1336
Prince William and Prince Harry look soooo handsome...their mother would be so proud!!!
Heather Waters
7. HeatherWaters
Harry and Will are here, yay! Lookin' good, boys. (The Harry Tracker is ON.)
Liz Maverick
8. Liz Maverick
When did Harry become the cute one? Well, what does it matter. Now, he's the only single one.
Heather Waters
9. HeatherWaters
@lizmaverick--And the only one with a full head of hair. Just sayin'.
Liz Maverick
10. Liz Maverick
@redline_ Hee! (I'm a little giddy. Still reeling from the Queen's YELLOW DRESS)
Heather Waters
11. HeatherWaters
First dress spotting! From what I can see, it's LOVELY. And Kate does indeed look radiant, as media have been saying since yesterday.

Do I see that she IS wearing a tiara? I lose! Didn't think she would.
Heather Waters
12. HeatherWaters
And she emerges from the car! BEAUTIFUL GOWN. Gorgeous. Here we go!
Heather Waters
14. HeatherWaters
Did William choose not to look back, or was he not supposed to? But he and Harry looked adorably impressed by her when she arrived. So cute and sweet.
Heather Waters
16. HeatherWaters
@lizmaverick -- Really? Now I want to go find a Grace Kelly picture...

In the meantime: Waity Katie is now Princess Kate!
Heather Waters
18. HeatherWaters

Picture by @BBCNews via Twitter (Thanks to @LiteraryEscapis for the heads up!)
Liz Maverick
19. Liz Maverick
Just set up a new blog post for DRESS TALK.
Heather Waters
20. HeatherWaters

What a sight, the view of the ride to Buckingham Palace.
Heather Waters
21. HeatherWaters
Two balcony kisses. And the way he took her hand before they walked back inside... *happy sigh*
Post a comment