Feb 15 2011 10:00am

The Morning After: A Love Hangover

Valentine's Day is over.

The roses are already drooping, that Whitman's Sampler only has the Molasses Chew and the Messenger Boy (too disturbing to think about for long) left in the box, and you've got a wicked blister on your foot from those supercute shoes you wore last night that he didn't even notice!

Athens by Gabriella Rocha

You, my friend, have a Love Hangover.

A traditional hangover cure might include coffee, sleep, pickle juice (really!), no coffee, no aspirin, plenty of aspirin, promising to abstain for the rest of your life.


But none of those cures will help you. What will help you—and which we at H&H fully endorse—is the application of additional chocolate while reading a deliciously fun book. 

Sure, you say, you're a romance site, of course you're going to offer that as a palliative. And in response, we say, HA! That is not ALL we have to offer.

So perhaps you didn't have a date last night, and instead sat weeping by yourself in front of a rerun of Love Story1, The Notebook2, An Affair To Remember3, Life Is Beautiful4 or Bambi5.

Or you had a date, but it was somewhere between the French onion soup and the Death By Chocolate dessert that you realized that this guy you've been putting time into is a dud. And you wore your pink shoes!

So what do you do now? Valentine's Day is only 364 days away!

First off, don't panic.

Secondly, do not panic. Really. And throw away those last few candies, because they taste nasty and they're not worth it.

Third, take that delicious romance novel (remember? The one we mentioned above?) and learn some life and love lessons from it. YMMV, depending on what genre you're reading:

Historical: Go riding on Rotten Row. Get thrown by a horse. Wait for a dashing duke to rescue you, but make sure you're plucky enough to be struggling to your feet as he arrives.

Contemporary: Get caught in an apartment during the Worst Blizzard Ever with your arch-enemy's hot brother.

Romantic Suspense: Get caught in the middle of a bank heist. Problem: You're the lead officer and he's the lead heister. Mayhem and romance ensues.

Paranormal: Okay, this one is a snap. First, get yourself some supernatural powers that is directly at odds with him. He's a vampire, and you're a LightBringer (notice that if you capitalize stuff it suddenly makes it All Important).

Sure, so perhaps it's unlikely you will find yourself in any of these situations. But, as that most sage of pundits Unknown once said, “Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.” Or, to snag the Boy Scouts motto, “Be Prepared,” (whether it's for a rampaging horse, a blizzard, a bank job, or an unexpected Gift.6

Happy February 15th!

1: Love Story, it was commented, is almost laughably sad.

2: Spoiler: She doesn't remember ANY of what we just watched.

3: One of us was just told what happened at the end, OMG, really? That is really freaking sad!

4: Someone said this shouldn't even be included.

5: Spoiler: The mom dies.

6: Which also explains why a contemporary romance hero always has a condom. He might not have a working cell phone, a toothbrush or a change of socks, but gosh darn it, he's got a condom.

Megan Frampton is the Community Manager, Romance, for Heroes And Heartbreakers. She can also be found at meganframpton.com and on Fridays at the Risky Regencies.

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Liz Maverick
1. Liz Maverick
The Notebook makes for quite possibly the worst movie ever labeled a romance. You sit through this angsty, dramatic, oh-my-god-will-they-end-up-together romantic arc for what feels like forever, and then they make you feel utterly miserable about it all in the final fifteen minutes. Ugh.
Philipp Goedicke
2. PhilippGoedicke
Are you sure it was Unknown and not Anonymous?
Another way to get over VDay on 2/15: Remember the Maine! (It exploded 113 yrs ago, today.)
About to go see Bambi again.
Natasha Carty
3. WickedLilPixie
Anything Nicholas Sparks is pure emotional torture! My cold heart breaks everytime, thus making me tell myself never again will I watch or read Mr. Sparks.
Robin Bradford
4. RobinBradford
My God, I laughed out loud (really) and nearly choked. What a perfect Feb 15th, the morning after, post! Um....I'm surprised you didn't mention the chafing, though......or am I just over-sharing......? :-)

And those shoes are supercute.
6. cjewel
I would totally eat the rest of the chocolate.
Charli Mac
7. CharliMac
I eat chocloate everyday. Yup, I do. Whitman's use to be made here in Philly, not sure about the messenger boy, LOL.

Nicholas Sparks, yes he is not your typical romance author. He writes love stories, pure and simple. Some make you cry your eyes out and others have HEA. And those are really...really good reads.

A good man is always prepared, even the old married hubbies. They may not be packin' jimmy hats but mine was packin' some wine, losbter, and chocolate covered fruits. My love hangover is literal.
Wendy the Super Librarian
8. SuperWendy
OK, the shoes? Super cute, even if I'd look dreadful in them. Still cute.

And I'm all over the contemporary setting....just so long as the blizzard doesn't cause the pipes to freeze. Because dang, I would need to take at least one hot shower with my arch-enemy's hunky brother. Just sayin'.
9. amanda mccabe
I dunno--those are pretty darn cute shoes. :)

And I am totally with Liz--The Notebook is the worst "masquerading as a good Valentine's day movie" ever...
10. Zee Monodee
Loved this post, rocken!
Hmm, the contemporary setting - why not your arch enemy Himself ( I capitalized!) in that cabin...? :)
Love this blog, gonna drop by often - thx Charli for mentioning it. XOXO
11. Diane Gaston
Several years ago the Washington Post Book World ran a feature on Love Stories released that year. Most of the books were written by men and all of them depicted love gone tragically wrong and ending unhappily.

There wasn't one Romance novel listed.......I wrote them a letter of complaint
Charli Mac
12. CharliMac
Diane, I think there is a huge difference between Love Stories and Romance Novels. The Bridges of Madison County is one of my favorite novels. Poignant, deep, and filled with so much love. It's a tragic tale and I cried my eyes out. It's a tear jerking story about love, not a Romance by any means.

Now, should that list have had a r0mance or two thrown in there, yes. But a Love Story is a seperate genre, IMO, from Romance.
Aliza Mann
13. AlizaMann
Really, where did you find those shoes??
I needa pair... worse than the chocolate ;)
The date-jerk should be dumped for not noticing them in their pinkiliciousness! And finally, lovers on paper are much better than the lovers of the real world... sadly.
Megan Frampton
14. MFrampton
Okay, so the shoes are from http://www.zappos.com/gabriella-rocha-athens-fuchsia-suede, and they're on sale!

I do love them, even I would a) fall down in them and b) look ridiculous anyway, because I am a Woman of a Certain Age.

Thanks for commenting, guys, and remind me never to read Nicholas Sparks! (my MIL does already anyway).
15. Hope Tarr
I agree: phooey on Nicholas Sparks and love stories sans the Happily Ever After. I caught a snippet of THE NOTEBOOK on tv the other night and Rachel McAdams was so annoying, I decided I didn't care whether she got her Happily Ever After or not. Happy Post-Valentine's...
16. DreadPirateRachel
Those are some damn fine shoes. And I also don't get the appeal of Nicholas Sparks; I vowed to never, ever watch another film adaptation of one of his books after I wasted two hours of my life on A Walk to Remember. I didn't think it was sad; I didn't think it was anything except sappy.
donna kenney
17. donna ann
I say get some good chocolate and a good drink to go with that good romance book. With my luck, I'd prob break something getting thrown for the horse ;) {definately would if I wore those hills, besides pink just isn't my color. did have some pretty cool olive suede dress shoes once}
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