Aug 2 2013 9:30am
We're pleased to offer you a special never before published excerpt from MaryJanice Davidson's Undead and Undetermined, the tenth book in MaryJanice's delightful Queen Betsy series. The twelfth book, Undead and Unsure, releases next week. Thanks for sharing this peek at Betsy, MaryJanice!
And now for a reminder of what misadventures Betsy is getting in this time...
(in which Betsy wakes up in Chicago, is rescued by the gang in a Super RV, has rowdy RV sex with Sinclair, then ponders their future while the country slips by their mobile bedroom window)
“Watch! Look how the telephone lines look like they’re moving...swoop! Up and down...swoop! But we’re the ones moving. Isn’t that amazing? Doesn’t that blow your mind?”
“No.” My husband was removing the tatters of clothing from his long lean yummy body, tsking at the state of his dress shirt, his slacks—I’d even shredded his socks. Me, I was naked and didn’t give a rip. I’d woken up naked in a morgue, been rescued while shoeless and wearing a too-tight t-shirt by the gang driving a mansion on wheels, and now was naked again. Clearly God wanted me to spend the day nude. God, or the devil. Hmm. Best not to think about that.
“Darling, you understand the telephone lines aren’t actually moving, right?”
“Don’t ruin my child-like joy at the sight of swoopey telephone lines. That was the best part of car trips when I was a kid. Well, that and listening to all 80s all the time on my headphones.” I could have watched the scenery pass by all night. Thank goodness there was a full moon; it was as good as noon to vampire eyes. “Yikes, I hope Marc or Nick or whoever’s driving doesn’t run down a werewolf. Like we need that heat on top of everything else.”
“Your concern for other species truly marks you as a compassionate ruler.”
“Gah, you can’t help putting the fuddy in duddy, can you?”
He quirked a dark eyebrow at me. “You must just bring that out in me, darling.”
“Oh, hush up. Y’know, for someone who couldn’t get enough of me twenty minutes ago—“
“My love, we have been in this bedroom for three and a half hours.”
“Whoa! Time flies when you’re getting plowed. Or whatever the saying—nnn!” He’d stopped trying to put the shreds together and flopped down on top of me. If I’d had breath, it would have whooshed out. As it was, I wondered if he’d cracked a rib. “Ugh, get off—“
“I intend to,” he said into my ear, which gave me little prickles of pleasure everywhere. Which was annoying. Bad enough he was ridiculously good in bed; he also knew it, the smug jerkass. It gave him the advantage in an awful lot of arguments.
I elbowed him until he moved over a few inches and I could flop onto my side like an exhausted...seal, I guess? Yeah: even though I was dead I sometimes felt bloated—maybe all the blood I took off the poor morgue doc?—so: blubbery, exhausted, sated, finding it tough to move on dry land...yeah. I was definitely the seal to his...uh...
“If you were an animal, what would you be?”
“I loathe your quizzes.” He was trailing kisses across my shoulder blade, which was lovely, and his hair tickled my nose, which was also lovely, and only proved my point about how annoying his bedroom prowess was. I should be annoyed at the tickling, not hoping he’d tickle me somewhere else. “I say that unequivocally. I loathe them.”
“Because I’m a seal right now—“
“You certainly are not.”
“—and you’re some kind of, I dunno, feral sexy meercat? You know: alert, darting to and fro, protective, immune to venom, no excess body fat, sometimes sharing the burrow with other species, really into grooming, vocalizing by growling or barking—“
“Enough,” he growled.
“—scent-marking their houses, aggressive toward guests...I did a report on them in the 10th grade.”
“Please stop,” he begged, dropping a kiss to my chin. “I love you more than my life but occasionally a conversation with you makes me yearn for temporary deafness.”
“Just temporary?” I kissed him back. Not on his chin. In fact, I’d used the meercat lecture to wriggle lower. Much lower. “Must be love.”
“Whatever you s-say, my qu-queen—ah!”
Ha! Score one for me.
Copyright © 2013 by MaryJanice Davidson.
See all other MaryJanice Davidson content on Heroes and Heartbreakers.
To order your own copy of Undead and Undermined, visit:
Learn more about or pre-order a copy of Undead and Unsure by MaryJanice Davidson before its August 6 release:
MaryJanice Davidson is the bestselling author of several books, most recently Undead and Unsure (out August 6th, 2013), Undead and Unstable, Undead and Undermined, Undead and Unfinished,Undead and Unwelcome, and Dead Over Heels. With her husband, Anthony Alongi, she also writes a series featuring a teen weredragon named Jennifer Scales. MaryJanice lives in Minneapolis with her husband and two children. Visit her online at www.maryjanicedavidson.net, or follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
Catching up on your Betsy-lore? Be sure to check out more exclusive excerpts from the series throughout The 12 Days of Betsy!
July 22, Day 1 (Undead and Unwed New Scene): Parajunkee
July 23, Day 2 (Undead and Unemployed New Scene): The Book Cellar
July 24, Day 3 (Undead and Unappreciated New Scene): The Book Nympho
July 25, Day 4 (Undead and Unreturnable New Scene): Vampire Book Club
July 26, Day 5 (Undead and Unpopular New Scene): Paranormal and Urban Fantasy Reviews
July 29, Day 6 (Undead and Uneasy New Scene): SciFi Chick
July 30, Day 7 (Undead and Unworthy New Scene): My Bookish Ways
July 31, Day 8 (Undead and Unwelcome New Scene): Bitten By Books
August 1, Day 9 (Undead and Unfinished New Scene): Fiction Vixen
August 2, Day 10 (Undead and Undermined New Scene): Heroes and Heartbreakers That's Us!
August 5, Day 11 (Undead and Unstable New Scene): All Things Urban Fantasy
August 6, Day 12: (Undead and Unsure Release Day + New Scene + Giveaway) Tor.com