Believe it or not, the wait is finally over: True Blood's seventh and final (!!!) season is now under way. Tune in each week as we recap and discuss the last chapter in the story of our favorite Bon Temps residents.
This post contains SPOILERS for all aired episodes of True Blood, including last night’s Season 7, Episode 5, “Lost Cause.” Enjoy!
Last week’s episode put this season of True Blood back on track. There was plenty of Pam and Eric, including insight into the origins of Fangtasia, Arlene was rescued, and the Hep-V vampires who were hiding out at the aforementioned Shreveport club were taken out.
Where does that leave us? Anything can happen in this latest episode. We still have open story lines for Sookie and Bill (are they heading to a happily ever after?), Eric/Pam and their quest to kill Sarah Newlin, and hopefully tons more of Lafayette.
It’s time to jump into the highlights and WTFery of season 7, episode 5 “Lost Cause.”
We pick up right where we left off: With a whole bunch of dead vampires at Fangtasia. While others are cleaning up outside, Willa vents her maker issues to Pam (with Eric in earshot, of course). She throws some pretty dead-on accusations, and while Eric admits his failure, he still has a request of Willa. He wants info on where Sarah Newlin might be. She barters the information for being released from him.
Turns out dear Sarah Newlin’s sister Amber is a vampire.
Ginger finally puts it on the line with Eric. I was never a fan of her character, but this season I’m a Ginger fangirl. I almost feel bad that he didn’t cave and have sex with her.
Sookie is trying to adjust to having an empty house again. Lafayette and James are there to help get the house together and keep her sane. Lala is everyone’s best friend on this show. No one deserves him, but they damn well should love him.
Lafayette and James plan a big party at Sookie’s, which I expected to be a wake. Instead they want to celebrate life and have invited the entire town. That means Bill shows up with flowers. Of course he does.
Eric manages to recruit Amber to join the quest to kill Sarah Newlin. He’s a charmer. Also, Amber scores points for her banter with Pam.
Bill is no good at parties.
Lettie Mae continues her class-act streak and drugs her sweet husband. Lafayette intercepts her as she comes into the party, but Sookie decides to invite her to speak. It is not the horrible mess we all expected.
Andy has come so far since season one. He’s gone from “I know that pig!” in season two, to forgiving Jessica and asking her help to propose to Holly. He ends up getting to use Gran Stackhouse’s ring. Violet is weird about it.
Holly and Andy are getting married, and the proposal was sweet and just right for them.
We were granted another best friend scene with Arlene and Sookie. It’s sad that Arlene has to be the expert on dealing with the death of a significant other, but at least she can help Sookie. And it’s good to see Sook grieving.
Jessica spurned James again, and it left him out on the porch with everyone’s confidante, Lafayette. Lala compares James and Jessica’s relationship to paying the minimum on a credit card. Ouch.
However it leads to James and Lafayette kissing. I’ve bee shipping this since the premiere. Hell, yes.
Eric’s Hep-V is progressing. He’s now stage two, which means his shirtless scenes now make us sad and come with him telling Pam that he’s going to die.
The vampire who gave Arlene blood at Fangtasia has a thing for her. He says the right things, but Drunk Arlene has no time for his vampire shenanigans. She might later, though, because hot.
As much as I’ve been pro James hooking up with Lafayette, would have been better if he wasn’t with Jessica when it happened. Also: Maybe they shouldn’t have had sex in Jessica’s car. Just saying.
Lafayette’s speech was amazing. He’s spent so much time helping everyone else that it was about time he called someone out on that. Not sure if it’s fair to do to Jessica, even if she wasn’t treating James right, but it still needed to be said.
Bill was having war-era flashbacks, and Drunk Sookie tells him it’s time to stop thinking and instead have some fun.
Lettie Mae decides she should stab Willa to get some blood. Willa’s fine, but Sam has to intervene before the vampires at the party punish Lettie Mae. She tries to say the reason people think she’s crazy is because of her former drinking problem. Lafayette corrects her: You just stabbed someone!
Nicole loses it. “This shit doesn’t happen in other towns.”
In a night of hooking up with other people’s boyfriends, Jessica passes along the favor and kisses Jason. Violet is crazy, though, and I always thought these two were adorable together, so I’m going with it. However, I expect Violet will take the news poorly.
“It’s fun because we’re together.” That’s what Eric tells Pam as they walk into a Republican fundraiser in Dallas. I say it’s fun because Eric is wearing a cowboy hat and a lariat. In my head he’s a cowboy stripper.
Jason and Jessica don’t waste any time! Sexy times are had, and Violet arrives in the midst, listens through the door and doesn’t take immediate action. Again, this does not bode well.
As Eric is glamoring Sarah’s dad, the Yakuza show up and open fire on the benefit. Sarah is in the bathroom with her mom when the gunfire begins. They flee, but her mother is killed. Sarah runs right into Eric. He begins to choke her, but when the Yakuza arrive—the men who killed his French lover all those years ago—he drops her and kills them instead.
Sookie takes Arlene’s advice and wears Alcide’s jacket to bed. (I believe Alcide's dad had something to do with the jacket being there for her. Commenters feel free to correct me!) It’s comforting, as a viewer, to see her react to his death. We didn’t get much of that last episode.
Bill, while soaking the tub, remembers back to telling Caroline that she was his first and only true love. When he finishes his bath, he discovers he now has Hep-V.
Is everyone going to get Hep-V?
Eric starts to strip at Pam’s command, but stops shirtless when we see his Hep-V has progressed to stage two.
Jessica and Jason are reunited. As usually, Jessica’s covered up, but Jason is fully naked and in profile.
Bill Compton booty! It’s been awhile, folks, but we get a peek at Bill’s rear as he climbs out of the tub.
Pam on being released: “Like being kicked in the cooch by a wallaby isn’t it?”
Ginger: “I have been your sex slave for fifteen years, Eric Northman, and we ain’t never had sex!”
Eric: “Ginger, I’m diseased.”
Ginger: “So the fuck am I!”
Amber: “Security’s going to be tight, and they only invited assholes.”
Eric: “You don’t know us, sweetheart. We can be assholes.”
Jason to Holly’s son and Andy’s daughter: “I don’t know if the two are fucking or not, but if you are it’s gonna have to stop right now.”
Pam: “Oh. My. God. I’m a republicunt.”
Drunk Arlene: “I have to go make tinkle, because, you know, I am a human.”
Lafayette to Jessica: “If you don’t love him, let him go, and I will take over from here.”
While Chelsea Mueller runs Vampire Book Club, she won’t turn down a sexy werewolf, demon or faerie. Her appreciation of Alexander Skarsgard is well documented. Bother her on Twitter — @ChelseaVBC — she likes it.