Believe it or not, the wait is finally over: True Blood's seventh and final (!!!) season is now under way. Tune in each week as we recap and discuss the last chapter in the story of our favorite Bon Temps residents.
This post contains SPOILERS for all aired episodes of True Blood, including last night’s Season 7, Episode 2, “I Found You.” Enjoy!
Hold on, folks. We’re going through this crazy final True Blood season together. On last week’s episode we already spotted some flaws with Mayor Merlotte’s “a vampire for every human” plan, Hep-V vampires were an organized threat, a bunch of our favorite ladies were kidnapped, and Tara was killed!
It wasn’t all bad, though. Sookie and Alcide functioned like a real couple to the point I wanted to ‘ship them. Only I don’t see it in the cards! And Lafayette and James had a poignant, emotional conversation that left all of us wanting to see more of their interactions.
What kind of WTFery will we get into on the second episode? We’ll let’s dive into the highlights of season 7, episode 2 “I Found You.”
Now, many H&H readers know I have an affinity of sorts for Alexander Skarsgard. As soon as this episode opened, I slapped my hand to my chest and whispered, “You’re back.” Like I wouldn’t recognize that silhouette. Can we all just let out a collective squee at seeing Eric Northman?
Only the person who found him was Jason Stackhouse, which raises an eyebrow. Add to that the conversation turning to jilted love and “something between us” and it was clear it was a blood dream. I didn’t care though, the scene kept getting better and better. Jason takes off Eric’s belt. Eric pins Jason to chair and then walks away. Jason going flying squirrel monkey and jumps on Eric’s back, taking him down.
|Source (and to see full gif set): peachiex.tumblr.com|
I never craved an Eric/Jason sex scene, but goddamn. It was one of those “I’m so glad I DVR this show” moments.
Jason has the best sex dreams, even if they happen when he’s in church.
Only in Bon Temps does no one care that Sookie admitted to finding a dead body and not reporting it. They have bigger problems than dead bodies at this point, I guess.
We get our first glimpse of the Hep-V vampires in non-rogue mode. Not at all what I expected. They’re all starving, and their trip to Bon Temps was to hunt and bring back “rations.” They’re working as a group to bring in enough food for all, but they didn’t expect vampires to be protecting humans.
In the Fangtasia basement, Arlene, Holly, Nicole and Jane Bodehouse are all still alive. When one of the Hep-V vampires, Betty, comes down to “reap,” Arlene recognizes her as her kids’ fourth grade teacher Miss Harris. Arlene’s a resilient woman, and she’s got a plan.
The dead girl was from two towns over. Andy tries calling the other town’s sheriff, but only gets voicemail. Sookie votes for a road trip over to Saint Alice. …because travel has always gone so well for her. Texas and Mississippi were flukes, right?
Lettie Mae goes to visit Lafayette under the guise of checking on him. Really, though, she wants him to summon Tara’s spirit because she’s selfish and wants the chance to do right. I’d be more sympathetic of Lettie Mae’s grief if she hadn’t always made everything about her. Lafayette is suffering, and her answer is to ask him to call Tara’s spirit back from the dead and blame him for her becoming a vampire/dying in the same breath? I’ve got no time for you, Lettie Mae. Neither does Lala, thankfully.
Bon Temps citizens work to clean up Bellefleur’s bar (which still feels so wrong to write). Only Vince is back to stir more trouble. He claims Sam’s bailed on them and left them to janitorial duty. He then decides it’s a good time to out Sam as a “dog.” He then rallies more people to be vigilantes, including Holly’s son Rocky.
Arlene makes a hell of a case to Miss Harris. She and Holly work together to remind her of what a good person she was. She has to figure something out, though, because if the others sense she’s showing mercy, they’ll kill her.
Andy, Jason, Sam, Sookie and Alcide arrive in Saint Alice to find it a complete ghost town. No people. No vehicles on the streets. Boarded up windows with prayers and warnings spray painted on them. The whole scene felt akin to something from the first season of The Walking Dead. Eerie. The scene ends when they discover a mass grave. No one is left.
Adilyn and Wade go to warn Kenya at the sheriff’s station. The mob will be coming to get the only guns left in the city. Kenya arms the two teenagers just the vigilante mob shows up. The mob gets Kenya to change sides, and that forces Adilyn to reveal her fairy powers. Her fear spikes with guns pointed at her (naturally!), and it awakes Jessica.
The mob proves to be extra crazy, as they waste bullets inside the sheriff’s station practicing shooting. This does not bode well.
While searching the dead girl’s house in Saint Alice, Sookie finds her diary. It recounts her relationship with a vampire named Henry…which happens to mirror Sookie’s early experiences with Bill, complete with flashbacks to Sookie getting ready for their non-date to Fangtasia back in season 1.
Lafayette was right when he called Lettie Mae a drug addict. She realized the way she could get more vampire blood was to severely burn herself so Willa would have to heal her. Willa agrees, and then has to work to get Lettie Mae to stop drinking from her vein.
Lettie Mae’s V trips are so different than the ones we’ve seen before. She sees Tara on a cross with a snake wrapped around her.
Alcide continues to be a good boyfriend and works to convince Sookie that she isn’t the same as the girl from Saint Alice. He tells her it’s okay that she fell for Bill; it was the same as any person’s first love. Anyone else starting to think Alcide is just too good of a guy for Sook?
The Hep-V vampires sleep in 15-minute intervals. Betty takes over as the “sleep monitor” so she can help get everyone out of the basement. They have 12 minutes, but Betty wants to feed first. Arlene volunteers. The only problem? Betty dies in the process…between Arlene’s legs. Man, that woman has had some serious trauma in her life.
Jessica still has wounds on her arm from when Adilyn bit her. She tells Andy that his daughter is in trouble, and that she’s determined to find her when the sun sets.
Just like last episode, I had a “damn you Sookie” moment. Alcide’s a great guy who is understanding of your connection to Bill. Telling him to take a shower and then bailing to go see your ex—who has been super horrible to you in the past—is shady. It’s also stupid to be walking around after dark when there are Hep-V vampires on the loose.
Pam finds Eric! In France! Yay! The veins on his chest, however, make it look like he has Hep-V. He’s come back before, though, right?
ASkars Eric Northman in the opening scene? Yes! Then Jason Stackhouse joining him? Oh, hell yes! Then pressed together? Our H&H brains may be fried from overload.
Arlene: “Y’all, I know I’ve had some pretty shitty luck and it probably ain’t too reassuring to be in a situation this fucked up with me at your side, but that is why you gotta believe me when I tell you that I did not survive four lousy husbands, a serial killer boyfriend, and the sorta suicide of my love Terry to die in the dingy basement of a fucking vampire bar.”
Jason: “Sometimes not being smart makes you a better detective.”
Vince: “This town is full of vampires, has a dog for a mayor and is being preached at by a telepath.”
Kenya: “Don’t you try that NRA hillbilly shit on me.”
Eric: “You found me.”
While Chelsea Mueller runs Vampire Book Club, she won’t turn down a sexy werewolf, demon or faerie. Her appreciation of Alexander Skarsgard is well documented. Bother her on Twitter — @ChelseaVBC — she likes it.