Believe it or not, the wait is finally over: True Blood's seventh and final (!!!) season is now under way. Tune in each week as we recap and discuss the last chapter in the story of our favorite Bon Temps residents.
This post contains SPOILERS for all aired episodes of True Blood, including last night’s Season 7 premiere, “Jesus Gonna Be Here.” Enjoy!
Are you ready to stay True to the End? The final season of True Blood is upon us, and for the very first time book readers have zero insight into what’s going to happen. We’re all going into this one completely blind on the plot, which means we’re surely destined for the most madcap, sexy, campy season to date.
We finished last season with huge revelations. Vampires infected with Hep-V were roaming the country ravaging folks in a mindless mob way. Sam got married (!) and became Bon Temps mayor (!!). Sookie and Alcide became a couple. (Something they never managed to make happen in the books.) And a one vampire for every human partnership was proposed.
Will it work out? We don’t know just yet, but we’re in it for the wild ride. From this point out, it’s all spoilers for the season 7 premiere episode “Jesus Gonna Be Here.” We’re talking highlights below—the good, the naked and the WTF.
There is no question that no holds are barred this season. The episode opened right where last season’s finale left off: Hep-V vampires attacking a party at Bellefleur’s (previously known as Merlotte’s). In the first few minutes of the show Tara is killed. She died protecting her mother, who in typical Lettie Mae fashion worries only about herself. Is the True Blood team taking tips from the Game of Thrones showrunners?
What makes the whole event scarier? These infected vampires are organized. They choose to kidnap Sam’s pregnant wife Nicole, Arlene, Holly, and Jane Bodehouse. Later they’re called off by the sound of a whistle. Someone is leading them.
In the aftermath, Sookie is bombarded with the community’s thoughts—most of which include that it’s her fault vampires ever came to Bon Temps. Even Alcide has an unkind thought.
New James (actor Nathan Parsons) is hot. Not as hot as old James (actor Luke Grimes), but still hot. And he’s going to be good to Lafayette. I can feel it.
Sam’s political rival sees him shifting. Foreshadowing to shifters coming out this season?
Like just about every other season, it doesn’t take long for me to start talking to the TV. This time it was, “Sookie, why are you so dumb?” I love the girl, but there is a mob of infected vampires ravaging your town, and you think it’s a good time to walk home alone at night? Oh, and when your boyfriend calls because it’s not safe, you chuck your phone? If we were real friends, there would be an intervention, Sook.
At this point she doesn’t even bat and eye or call a cop when she stumbled upon a dead body. What would Gran say?
Cut to party time in Morocco! Pam’s playing Russian roulette for answers about Eric’s location.
When Jessica and Adilyn talk—while Jessica is protecting the Bellefleur home, and generally atoning for killing Adilyn’s sisters—Adilyn sounds so much like Jessica did after she was first turned. It’s nice to have a touch of innocence amid so much debauchery.
Sookie and Alcide’s fight was just perfect. He said the things I was thinking. She was honest with him. It was the kind of normal relationship communication we’ve been waiting to see from her the last several seasons. Real problems about communication. Sure, there’s that whole mind-reading twist…
Joe Manganiello looked massive walking up the stairs in the Stackhouse home. It wasn’t designed for werewolves, I guess.
The tidbit about the feds bailing on Louisiana could lead to some serious vigilantism this season, and was a nice dig.
James and Lafayette talking grief, death, violence, and what that means now while getting high? Kind of wonderful.
Reverend Daniels’s church basement is now a vampire hidey-hole for Willa!
Bill and Andy find the Hep-V vampires’ nest. The dead bodies are enough to make the sheriff vomit. Worse, though, is Vince’s ragtag vigilante group is there and in the mood to kill Bill. Andy’s able to shift the situation, but this isn’t the last time we’ll see this kind of standoff.
Arlene, Holly and the others are all at Fangtasia. Every person kidnapped from Bon Temps has spent time in that basement. It’s like a rite of passage at this point.
The episode ends with Lettie Mae publicly blaming Sookie for Tara’s death. Sook decides it’s time to remind them all she can hear their thoughts, and that she just wants to help fix things now.
After all, she knows vampires better than anyone else in Bon Temps.
Jason Stackhouse, oh how we have missed you. Jason finally gets to have sex with Violet. She rips off his shirt. He does the same to hers. His pants slip down and then they’re getting dirty on the hood of his police cruiser. Thank you for Ryan Kwanten booty.
Sookie drops her robe and gets all little spoony when she joins Alcide in bed. This shifts into the beginnings of a sex scene, but there is a disappointing lack of Alcide backside.
Sookie to Alcide: “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know, because newsflash, I can read your fucking thoughts!”
Vince, upon seeing Sam shift for the first time: “You’re a motherfucking dog!”
Guy in Morocco to Pam: “What is your name?”
Pam: “Go fuck yourself.”
Guy, now introducing Pam to the crowd: “The lady, Go Fuck Yourself!”
Pam: “Your god and my god can have a circle jerk for all I care. I’ll be in Hell having a three-way with the devil.”
While Chelsea Mueller runs Vampire Book Club, she won’t turn down a sexy werewolf, demon or faerie. Her appreciation of Alexander Skarsgard is well documented. Bother her on Twitter — @ChelseaVBC — she likes it.