Orphan Black blew us away last year (you may have seen our Season 1 recaps during the hiatus?) with its riveting performances (led by Tatiana Maslany), brilliant storytelling, and intriguing romances (like Sarah/Paul and Cosima/Delphine). Now it's back for Season 2, and so are our weekly episode recaps. Buckle up—we have a feeling it's going to be quite the ride.
This post contains SPOILERS for all aired episodes of Orphan Black, including last night’s Season 2, episode 8, “Variable and Full of Perturbation.” Enjoy!
A van tears through downtown
Toronto, weaving through traffic at high speeds. Sirens can be heard; presumably the cops are chasing the van. It pulls into a garage. A small-sized man with a kerchief masking his face jumps out of the driver’s seat. He checks the street but they seem to have gotten away. A larger man is in the passenger seat wearing a ski mask. “What the hell were you doing?” Man 1 asks Man 2 as he opens the door. Man 2 insists he’s fine despite bleeding from his side from a gunshot wound. He tells Man 1 they need to switch cars. Man 1 helps Man 2 through the garage. “Thought you had that place cased,” he complains. “That was a freaking ambush!” He wonders who their assailants were, “not cops. Not feds either in $400 shoes.” Man 2 bitches between breaths that he told Man 1 to stay with the whip. Man 1 points out if he had, Man 2 would be in the morgue now. Frankly, that looks inevitable anyway. Man 2 collapses before they can get to the car. He swears when he sees how the wound is very bad. Man 1 crouches before Man 2 and pulls down his kerchief. HOLY SHIT, IT’S A BOY CLONE with a serious almost monobrow.
Boy Clone rummages around for something with which to stop the bleeding while Man 2 urges him to go. “I should’ve told you—I should’ve told you months ago,” he says with increasing difficulty. “I was set up.” Boy Clone asks who set Man 2 up. “Remember that cop who called a few weeks ago?” Boy Clone swears he told her nothing, but Man 2 already knows this. “She wanted you because you’re—” but the pain cuts him off before he can say “clone.” Boy Clone soothes his friend as he begins to fade. Man 2 begs Boy Clone to promise him something. “You gotta find that cop. You gotta find Beth Childs.” Dun dun DUN!
That may be the shortest cold open this show has seen all season.
Sarah enters Mrs. S.’s house where Ethan Duncan is calmly ensconced in the arm chair dunking his tea bag into a mug. That is not a euphemism despite the use of the phrase “tea bag.” Siobhan instantly asks where Kira is but Sarah calmly tells her she’s not bringing Kira into the house until she’s sure it’s safe. Siobhan doesn’t miss the dig because she isn’t stupid. Ethan greets Sarah warmly as though they’re meeting for tea, which come to think of it, they kinda are. With some exasperation, Siobhan tells Sarah Benjamin has four men on watch and Rachel has been warned that if she tries anything, “I will pop her papa in the brain pan.” Snort. All avuncular, Ethan tells Sarah he likes to think Siobhan is bluffing. With a weary sigh, Siobhan assures “Andrew” she is not. He asks that she call him Ethan. “If I’m to be your pawn, I’d like to reclaim my given name.” Since everyone now knows who he is and that he’s alive, that shouldn’t be a problem. Siobhan concludes to Sarah that they hold all the cards. “Ethan here, his information, and Kira.” Sarah immediately objects that Kira is not a part of any deal. “I bloody know that!” Siobhan exclaims. “But Rachel’s reunion with her father was real. Let’s just see how it all lands at Dyad.”
A sharp knock on the back door announces Benjamin. He’s located Fee and Kira in the alley. Kira launches herself at Siobhan while Fee mouths “sorry” to Sarah who rolls her eyes. So even while she was chatting Sarah up, Siobhan had her guys sussing out Fee and Kira’s hiding place, which, admittedly, was a crap hiding place. Sarah may be good, she may be very good, but she is still a spring chicken when compared to Mrs. S. “Safe enough, yet,” she snarks to Sarah without rancor who also appears to not mind so much to have their nuclear family reunited in the family home. Siobhan coos that Kira is a sight for sore eyes and Fee pouts. “What about me?” He and Siobhan embrace. Sarah fondly watches the three most important people in her life and then glances at Ethan and loses her smile. He too avidly watches the reunion, a pleased if avaricious smile on his face, gaze fixated on Kira. Ruh roh.
At The Dyad, Delphine is locked out of the Sweet Science Crib. Inside, Cosima and Scott look up from their work. Aggravated, Delphine knocks on the door and calls Cosima’s name. “Hold on to your hat,” Cos murmurs to Scott. She opens the door but blocks Delphine’s way. Delphine points out her pass card isn’t working. Cos tells her that’s because she locked Delphine out. She asks after the package in Delphine’s hands. Delphine confirms it’s from Sarah and hands it over. “Seriously?” she scoffs. “I can override this lock at any time.” Cos calmly invites her to go for it. “I just really don’t want you here.” She shuts the door in a stunned Delphine’s face. “Wow,” Scott admires. “Girl fights are mean.” Honey, you have no idea.
Scott unwraps the container and holds up Kira’s tooth. “So, the donor’s a child?” Cosima carefully drills into the tooth. Scott tries again. “You are aware a far more obvious and effective treatment for 324B21 would be the kid’s bone marrow?” Cosima is aware.
Over at the McMansion, Alison has arrived home from rehab and already is supremely pissed at Donnie because he didn’t come to pick her up. Instead, she finds him asleep and burrowed under blankets in their bed. “The kids are truant. There’s cleaning product all over the laundry room. What’s going on, hmm?” Donnie complains that he doesn’t feel very well and Alison assumes he’s upset because of the whole my-wife’s-a-clone thing. “See? I use the C-word too.” Donnie: “Ugh.” Heh. She sweetly tells him they’ll deal with it together and pulls back a cover of the coverlet to kiss his bare shoulder. That releases an unpleasant odor, one with which Alison is well familiar. After a short, sad struggle, she yanks back the covers to find a myriad of empty, tiny booze bottles in bed with Donnie. Enraged, she beats him with a pillow. “You’ve been drinking on the day I get back from rehab?!” She pours the remaining booze on him as she hollers “do you want me back in rehab? Hmm? Do you?” Donnie yells that he knows all her hiding spots. “I know about the pills you keep in your bean pots!” he shouts as she douses him. “Your mini bar in the tub labeled ‘buttons’!” He’s trying to chug the mini bottles before she can pour them on him. Hee. She snatches one from his hand and swats him repeatedly. “You’re supposed to be supporting me!” The kids show up in the doorway as Alison goes back to beating him with the pillow. “Does that hurt yet? Does it?” She catches glimpse of the kids on an upswing and freezes. Seeing them too, Donnie moans “no!” and tries to sit up. Alison goes into mom mode and hustles the kids back out. “OK! Time to get ready for school.” She turns her daughter around and covers her son’s eyes while she tells them they’ll stay at Grandmother’s house that night until their father feels better. “You take today to think,” she orders before she leaves. Donnie collapses back in bed and continues to bring the sexy back to McMansion-land in his tightie whities.
On a side street somewhere, Art waits to make a secret rendezvous. “Who the hell are you?” Boy Clone asks through the lowered car window. “You’re Tony?” Art replies, confused. “No, I’m freaking Harry Potter,” Tony snarks. “Where’s Beth?”
Back at Mrs. S.’s, Sarah comes downstairs where Ethan is reading in the arm chair. Fee shrugs into his coat. Sarah is surprised he’s leaving so soon as she thought they could hang while Kira is in the bath. “My work as a child smuggler is done for the day,” he quips lightly. Ethan interrupts to ask Kira’s name again and her age. Sarah gives the first and tightly tells him her daughter is none of his concern. Siobhan watches the exchange quietly. Sarah tags Fee at the door and softly asks if there’s something up. He whispers that Art needs his help with “something cloney” and when Sarah goes on alert, he assures her they’ve got it. “You need to stay here with Kira. I’ll call you if I need to.” She thanks him and they smooch. Ethan observes that his daughter was about Kira’s age when she was taken. “You mean Rachel by Leekie,” Siobhan reminds him, putting names to his cold recitation. “That is how you end this war, Ethan,” she espouses. “By making amends.” Ethan doesn’t really give the impression of a man interested in making amends, more one keen on reclaiming his place.
At The Dyad, Delphine arrives at Leekie’s office only to find a posh male assistant at the receiving desk fielding calls for Rachel. Inside Leekie’s office, Rachel is on the phone leaving a message for Paul, clearly not her first. “Paul, your absence is inconvenient.” I’ve had that same thought many times this season. “And your silence is irksome. Please,” she adds flatly and with a heavy sigh. “You know I hate to worry.” That’s worried? Easy there, lady. She greets Delphine while Assistant offers to fetch her tea or coffee, which Delphine, confused, refuses politely. “Where is Aldous?” Rachel leans back in her desk chair and sighs again. “Tea please, Martin. And could you send a man round for Paul?” Martin nods and scurries off. Once he’s gone, Rachel tells Delphine that Aldous suffered a fatal heart attack on one of their jets when bound for Langley the night before. I wonder if she knows Leekie is really dead or if she’s going with the story concocted to explain his absence since Marion expects that Rachel took care of killing Leekie?
Delphine is shocked. She was enraptured with the man after all. At one point. “I’m sorry,” Rachel says with sincerity. At least, for her. “I know you were close.” Delphine nods. Rachel tells her she will now report to Rachel and agrees before Delphine can reply that it will be difficult for both of them. “But despite this tragedy, it’s come to light that Aldous buried crucial information about the origins of the experiment.” She tells Delphine that a line of communication is now open with Sarah. “Delphine,” she says, and the fact that Rachel is a little teary here pretty much guarantees she’s faking it, “we may have a breakthrough for Cosima. For us all.”
Fee has arrived at Fee’s Fun Flat. He saunters down the hall but is surprised to find the door half open and no one outside it waiting for him. “Art, I didn’t give you permission to break into my flat,” he calls. Art meets him in the doorway and for a moment blocks the way. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” Fee asks. But before Art can reply, Tony pulls the door back. Oh my giddy aunt, he has a soul patch and a mullet. Art introduces them with resignation. “Felix…Tony.” Tony and Fee take one another in. Felix is shocked. Tony grins.
A mo later, Tony is pissed to learn Beth’s “not coming.” “That’s what I get for trusting a frickin’ cop!” Art says that it’s complicated but Tony isn’t buying it. “Yeah? Then I’m out.” Fee implores him to stay, that he wants to stay. Tony gets into his face. “Oh yeah? Who are you, hmm? Party boy.” Felix pause then re-introduces himself and assures Tony he and Art are safe friends of Beth’s. He explains that while Art is a cop, he’s suspended, “which is the only kind of cop I like.” He invites Tony to make himself at home while Fee takes 30 seconds with Art out in the hall and then they’ll explain everything. Interesting how Art doesn’t do his usual push in and take over maneuver but instead recognizes that Tony responds to Felix and allows Fee to take point. Yes! He can be taught! “Thirty seconds,” Tony calls after them and when Fee looks back, he adds, “Fee Fee.” Fee doesn’t miss a step. “You call me that again, we don’t tell you a thing.” He shuts the door in Tony’s face. “Whoo!” Tony shouts.
Out in the hall, Art and Fee quietly freak out together over the new clone. “Holy Tilda Swinton,” Fee swears. SWINTON! That. Is. Priceless. “Where in the hell did he come from?” Fee asks. Art explains he kept Beth’s mobile active in some faint hope that someday it might ring—and it did. “Can you clarify what’s going on?” “That would be a single chromosome,” Fee explains. So not Boy Clone but Trans Clone. This is what Art figured. “She’s a trans clone.” Fee corrects him. “He’s trans. He’s,” he emphasizes, “yeah. Just another variation in my sister’s skin.” But this one is a combination that has rattled even Fee though not for obvious reasons. Or maybe they are obvious. Clarity in place, Art returns to what’s important and tells Felix that Tony told him Beth contacted him and that a friend of Tony’s was just whacked by guys in suits and Tony will only talk to Beth. Fee asks if Tony knows he’s a clone. Art doesn’t know. “He’s sketchy as hell. I didn’t want to tell him anything.” Fee thinks that’s a good plan because they can’t tell Tony. “Follow my lead,” he tells Art and heads back in. “What lead?” Art snarks and then muttering “oh shit” he follows Fee.
Inside Fee’s Fun Flat, Tony is snooping through Fee’s things and not even trying to hide it. He turns around as Fee and Art return. Fee cautiously recites the Clone Code. “Just one. I’m a few. No family too. Who am I?” Tony: “Pretty gay by the looks of this place.” Fee glances at the portrait he did of his client Teddy holding the football against his goods and rolls his eyes. Tony smirks as Fee steps out of the way for Art to take up the ball. Art tells Tony Beth is dead. Tony decides that means he’s got no business there. Fee insists he really, really does. He asks for Tony to tell them what Beth said when she called him. “She said we might be related and then she said she was a cop so I hung up. Now Sammy’s got a message for her and she’s dead.” Art and Fee exchange puzzled looks. “What’s the message?” Art asks. But Tony wants to know what’s going on first. Fee agrees to his demand but with conditions. “Here’s the thing, Tony. We know things. We don’t know you.” Art offers to go check out Tony’s story while Tony stays with Felix. He doesn’t wait for anyone to agree before he leaves. Tony looks at Fee in clear challenge. Just you and me now. Fee lifts his chin. Bring it, bitch.
At Mrs. S.’s, Sarah and Kira make a mobile together. “Look at this,” Sarah teases. “I think we need Auntie Alison stat.” Kira giggles while Sarah holds up the mobile in progress. She asks if Kira likes it and whether they should add more angels. “They remind me of Helena,” Kira says. Sarah agrees. She stands to hang the mobile. Kira asks if Helena’s OK. “She’s fine. Sorta. I had to leave her to her own devices but she asks about you all the time.”
Someone knocks on the front door taking all the sweetness from the moment as both mother and daughter instantly lose their smiles and go on alert. “Should we hide?” Kira asks. It’s painful that she already has experienced so much bad, her first thought when someone arrives if to hide. Downstairs, Benjamin tells Siobhan someone is there to see her. Sarah presses Kira’s hand and goes out to see what’s what.
Delphine has come for a chat. Sarah immediately worries that something has happened to Cosima, but Delphine says she’s actually there at Rachel’s request. Sarah comes to stand next to Mrs. S. who casually leans on her shotgun, ready to go. “To what?” she snaps. “Leverage your girlfriend’s life to get my daughter’s stem cells?” Delphine stutters over the message that Rachel wants to make a new deal. “Leekie is dead,” she says baldly. Sarah and Siobhan exchange looks. “She says it was a heart attack,” Delphine adds. Siobhan snorts. “I bet she does.” Delphine finds a bit of her spine. “It’s what you wanted, isn’t it? I believe Aldous was the lesser of two evils, but it’s too late now. This is now about Professor Duncan.” Siobhan invites her to continue. “The key to a gene therapy cure which does not required Kira’s stem cells, lies in Duncan’s synthetic sequences.” The catch is that Duncan must go to The Dyad immediately to get it done. Sarah refuses outright and Delphine points out that the deal allows Kira to stay with Sarah where she belongs. “Do you think I could trust Rachel?” Sarah says. “Or you, Delphine?” But now Siobhan steps in and reminds Sarah they didn’t bring Duncan all this way not to use him. She tells Delphine to tell Rachel they’ll consider it.
Back in The Dyad, Cosima returns to the Sweet Science Crib to find Scott and his friends deeply involved in Runewars, a role-playing board game. Scott apologizes and excuses that they were going to play in the cafeteria but since he thought she’d gone home for the night, they used the Sweet Science Crib instead. “Are you minding the dental pulp in the incubators?” she asks. “Yeah, absolutely!” Scott exclaims. “Then I don’t care if you’re making bathtub acid.” The friends laugh. Your boss is so cool, Scott! Scott introduces the Dyad Runewars Club. Cos looks the board over and murmurs “cool”. They all look at her expectantly. “Play on, hail fellows,” she exhorts. They laugh and go back to the game. Cosima goes to her computer station and back to her research, which apparently involves unearthing everything there is to know about Delphine Cormier. Scott appears to be, ah, wiping the board with his pals until one of them objects to the move and pulls out the playbook to point out the rule violation. Oh no he didn’t! Cosima weighs in to counter them all and then pops back over to show them why none of it matters revealing not only a dexterity for the game but mad freaking skillz. All four lab techs gaze at her in avid if stunned worship. “Do you, ah, wanna play?” one of Scott’s friends ventures to ask. Cosima considers them all for a moment. “I don’t know if you’re ready for that.” She joins in anyways and annihilates them all. “Boom Boom. Don’t even think about it…Teleport card. So all your Ratabians are dead, I’ve got the City and Dragon Room, and…” She lays down a final card. “Pillage!” she crows. She truly is a geek goddess. The guys laugh except for the one who invited her to play. He glares at her. One of the others high-fives Cosima as she laughs. But all too quickly, the laughter becomes coughing. Cosima turns away to cough blood into her hanky. Scott worries if she’s all right. Delphine barges in. Guess she went for the override. “We need to talk,” she says without ceremony. Cosima gestures for Delphine to join her over in her office. Scott looks after them with concern.
Cosima coughs. Delphine tells her things are moving too fast for Cosima to be so petty with her. “I think they killed Aldous,” she whispers. This surprises Cosima. Delphine explains that Rachel is at Leekie’s desk and is selling the heart attack story. “Listen to me. I think you are running out of time and Kira’s tooth was a Band-Aid. But Duncan? He may hold the key to an actual cure.” She claims that she’s trying to help and asks Cosima to tell her what Cos wants. Cos considers her and then asks the “Battle Bitches” to pick up their beast men and bug out. Battle Bitches is totally the name of my next band. Cosima decides she’s going to keep the promise she made Delphine when they first met, “that one day I would get you completely baked.” Delphine laughs. That was not was she expected Cosima to say.
Back at Fee’s Fun Flat, he and Tony are getting to know one another or as it’s called among my peoples, Snark Thunderdome. Fee’s told Tony he’s an orphan and Tony finds that preferable to knowing his parents are assholes. Fee spies a framed picture of him and Sarah while Tony claims his parents were so full of shit it made sense when Beth said they were related. Fee stashes the picture under the couch when Tony isn’t looking. He asks how long Tony knew Sammy. “Long enough,” he dodges. “How come you’re so interested in Sammy?” Fee offers to tell Tony if he gives Fee Beth’s message. Tony rifles through Fee’s closet. “You gotta work smarter than that, buddy,” he chides. Fee sighs, but his body language agrees with Tony. Yeah, it was shite move. Tony asks to borrow some clothes. He’s already taken the hangers down, so it’s doubtful Fee’s answer really matters. Still, Fee says no. “Come on,” Tony says. “I’ve been driving for two days. Gotta bathe the boys,” he quips with a smirk. Charming. Although, I’m pretty sure this is all Tony’s way of flirting, which is creepy, like Lannister creepy. Fee, however, already knows his game. “Pushing buttons. Testing boundaries.” Tony sneers that Fee is deep, “like an artist or something.” He makes his way into Fee’s bathroom and undresses. “So how does Tony the Trans Bandit go over with the hoodlum set?” Fee shoots back. “When did you come out?” Tony replies. “Tuesday?” Fee ignores the jab. “Tony, what you’re doing here is more complicated than sex or gender.” That should be the unofficial subhead of the show. “Oh yeah?” Tony replies unruffled. He steps out of the bathroom in a tank top and boy shorts. Fee glances down at his impressively defined package. Did they stick a whole drawer of tube socks down Tatiana Maslany’s pants for that bulge, because dayam! “Why don’t you shut up and draw me a bath?” he taunts Fee. Fee glances over him again. “Run it yourself, bitch,” he says with a grin. “Ouch!” Tony exclaims playfully as he adjusts the boy shorts. “He’s meaner than he looks!” Fee dismisses him with a jaunty look. “You are so much like my sister.”
Alison descends to the den in search of Donnie…who is packing to leave. “No,” she declares. “We are not there yet. We have a mountain to climb. We’re not even at base camp yet!” Donnie apologizes profusely and acknowledges how he’s already hurt her so badly. “You’re better off without me.” Crying, Alison yells that this is the real Donnie Hendrix who picks up and runs out on his kids in the middle of the night. “Don’t you love me anymore? Did you ever love me?” she asks in a small voice. Now Donnie is crying. He breaks and throws himself at Alison, hiding his face in her lap like a child. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about the porn and putting you in rehab and I’m sorry for hating your mother, and…” “Everybody hates my mother,” Alison reminds him matter of fact. Donnie nods and Alison strokes his face as she leans her forehead against his. “I have made such terrible mistakes, Donnie,” she whispers. Donnie: “Not like this one.” Alison: “Try me.”
Ethan Duncan holds up the floppy disks. He tells Sarah that finding a cure means handy Dyad they keys to the kingdom, “synthetically speaking.” Sarah asks if he can cure Cosima and he confirms he can, “though it’s immodest to boast.” Sarah realizes there really is no choice here and Duncan shakes his head. She tells Siobhan to arrange to take Duncan to the Dyad. “I guess we’ll see if he’s still one of them.”
Art returns to Fee’s Fun Flat, but he texts Felix from the hall. Inside, Tony lolls in the bathtub, one leg draped over the side, when Fee’s phone chirps. “This is kinda nice, you know?” he calls to Fee. “Kickin’ it in the limey boy’s tub all bohemian and shit. Through the beaded curtain and without looking at Tony, Fee says, “I can’t stand you sober, so I’m going downstairs for some booze.” Tony is dope with that. Yes, I really did just type that sentence. No, I can’t believe it either. He suggests maybe he and Fee can hit the town later. Fee swishes out of the flat to meet Art who had managed to confirm almost all of Tony’s story. “Tony, formerly Antoinette Sawicki.” “Sawicki?” Fee repeats as though in pain. “Yeah,” Art confirms, “And Sammy Welldeen. Both convicted thieves. Seems Sammy got himself shot yesterday in the middle of a job day before yesterday. Assailants? Unknown. His body turned up in a Cincinnati garage.” So I guess that downtown in the cold open wasn’t Toronto despite looking exactly like Toronto. Fee shakes his head. “No, no, no. I smell ‘monitor’ all over Dead Sammy.” Meanwhile, inside FFF, Tony has gotten out of the tub and is now rummaging through Fee’s stuff. He pockets a roll of cash and then delves through Fee’s drawers.
“Why? Why would he know Beth?” Fee asks. Art says Sammy and Beth met. “Her phone shows a dozen long calls to Cincinnati and she flew there twice.” He asks if Fee got the message out of Tony. “No, he keeps getting’ up in my kitchen the same time I’m getting’ up in his.” Inside, Tony is making his way through Fee’s finished canvases. He pauses when he pings on one particularly. Art asks if Fee’s told Tony he’s a clone. “What the hell!” Fee whisper shrieks. “Do I have to take responsibility for that too?!” Art grimaces and Fee gets a hold of himself. “Shit, let’s just see what he says after I get 5 or 6 of these into him,” he says, taking the six pack from Art. Art is off to find out where the search for Tony is at, “but I’m telling you, whoever shot Sammy is going to come looking for him next.” Fee goes still. “Dyad,” he decides though Art isn’t sure. “But if I were you, I would call Sarah and get it over with.” Fee wants to take one more run at Tony, “before I bring in the big guns, yeah?” Art holds up his hands. Your call. He heads off to do what you do while Fee goes back inside.
Tony’s jaw drops as he lifts a canvas up and sets it on an easel. Outside, Fee steels himself then charges back inside the flat. He stops short when he sees Tony on the couch prepping a needle. “What do we have here?” he quips. Tony asks if he wants a hit. “Warm fuzzy rush of Big T?” Fee declines the offer of testosterone. Tony sighs as he flicks the needle and injects himself. “Once a week come hell or high water or my buddy gettin’ killed. Or Beth. Or you looking so good.” Fee sneers at this last. “You’re too kind, Tony.” He sets the six pack down on the table. “Beth contacts you and then Sammy gives you a message for Beth. So it seems to me that they knew each other.” Tony agrees and decides it’s time for Fee to tell him how he knew Beth. “Same old story: rent boy meets police officer. Intrigue ensues.” Tony again asks if Fee’s sure he doesn’t want a hit, “it’d put some hair on your chest.” Fee pulls the neck of his shirt down. “I get to shave mine,” he quips. Tony grins. “Quick, aren’t ya?” Fee accepts his due. “Well you’ve got absolutely nothing I haven’t seen before,” he says. Tony decides they should drink to that and they clink bottles.
At Mrs. S’s, Ethan is reading The Island of Dr. Moreau aloud to Kira. “You cannot imagine the strange colorless delight of these intellectual desires,” he reads. “The thing standing before you is no longer an animal, a fellow creature, but a problem.” Sarah interrupts. “Hey. Do you seriously think that’s appropriate?” Kira throws back her head and groans. Mom, you ruin everything! Someone raps on the door and Sarah opens it to Benjamin who tells her and Siobhan that they’re ready. “It’s time,” Siobhan says to Ethan, who nods. After she leaves, he passes the book over to Kira. “Don’t worry,” he tells her, stroking a finger down her cheek. I half expected him to snag a strand of hair while he was at it. “I’m nobody’s pawn.” Yeah, that’s what worries me. He winks at her and waves before he gets up to leave. Sarah’s Clone Phone rings. It’s Fee. Loud rock music sounds in the background. “Oh shit,” Fee says. Cut to Fee’s Fun Flat where Tony is up on the bed loft head banging away. “Uh, it’s another naïve clone,” Fee says to Sarah. “Who is she?” Sarah asks. Fee watches Tony move like a caveman and ducks through the bead curtain. “That’s the thing: she’s a he.” Sarah tries to process. “A Boy Clone. Some whole new batch then,” she decides. “Nope,” Fee counters as he watches Tony through the slats of his wall. “It’s definitely your batch.” He asks her to get there as fast as she can.
Fee ducks back out of the bathroom – and Tony’s is waiting right there for him. “Who was that?” he asks with a smirk. “My sister,” Fee replies. “Foster sister?” Tony corrects, still smirking. Fee confirms that yeah, Sarah’s his foster sister. He tries to duck past, but Tony blocks his way. He crowds Fee against the wall and kisses him. Eyes closed Fee, while hesitant, still responds. “Tasty Tony,” Tony whispers against Fee’s mouth. OK now he’s talking about himself in third person. I officially do not like Tony. “Fluidity doesn’t shock me either, Tony,” Fee says without backing off. “Something did,” Tony gibes back. That’s enough to make Fee change his mind. “Do you know? Mnh-Mnh.” He shakes his head. Tony pauses, then feints inward as though going to kiss Fee again. Fee repeats, “Mnh-Mnh.” He exhales hard and backs up, breaking the mood. Tony scoffs and swigs from his bottle as he walks away.
Setting the bottle down, Tony pulls out the canvas Fee painted when Sarah was playing dead, the one with the huge penis in the foreground. “Is this Beth?” Tony asks, but Fee shakes his head no again. Tony asks if Beth Childs was Fee’s sister. “No, that’s my sister,” Fee says with a nod to the photo of Sarah that’s in his painting. “Do you want me to punch you in the head?” Tony asks. “What’s with her dick, huh?” Fee claims creative license, “Nothing more.” Tony drops the canvas and gets back into Fee’s face this time very much not romantically. “You going to tell me what the hell is going on here, Felix?” Fee steps up to meet him. “Depends Tony. You going to tell me what Beth’s message is?”
In the Sweet Science Crib, Cosima and Delphine are getting high on pretty much anything they have at hand, including helium. Cosima takes a hit from a balloon. Where they got balloons from at The Dyad Institute is anyone’s guess. “I am helium and I’m way funnier than polonium!” she yells in a chipmunk voice. Laughing together, they collapse in a pile on the couch. Delphine wants to make sure the helium affects have worn off because she has something important to say to Cosima. “Je t’aime,” she whispers. Cosima sighs heavily and then asks if that’s why Delphine didn’t tell her they were Kira’s stem cells or that even before she came to the institute, Delphine gave Leekie Cosima’s blood cells even though she told Delphine not to. Delphine plays with Cos’ fingers. “It’s your life.” Cosima protests it’s not just that. “It’s all of us. You have to love all of us.” Delphine considers it for a second. “Then I love all of you.” Cosima thinks this is good, “because if you betray us again, I have enough dirt on you to destroy your career.” Surprisingly, that does not kill the moment, probably because Delphine laughs, though not because she’s amused, and Cosima tacks on, “and I love you too.”
Back in Suburbia, Alison and Donnie are having possibly the most honesty conversation of their entire marriage. Donnie dazedly admits it felt like the whole world had been yanked out from beneath him when he learned Alison is a clone. She encourages him to keep going. “I thought I was doing something worthwhile, a sociological study. I feel so stupid.” He swears at Leekie and his stupid face and how he brought doctors into their how to examine Alison, “my own sweet wife!” Alison understands completely how he feels, “being humiliated by…unspoken things.” She decides she has to confess something about Aynsley’s accident, but can only manage to do it by whispering in Donnie’s ear. He recoils in shock. Alison tearfully begs he not think she’s something horrible. Donnie takes her hands. “I killed Dr. Leekie,” he confesses.
At Fee’s Fun Flat, Tony is packing his things as the rising sun shines through the flat’s windows. “You’re killing me man,” he says to Fee. “How can you have a painting with my freaking face on it?” Fee swears he wants to tell Tony but it’s not his place. “You know, my buddy Sammy, he didn’t give a shit what was going on between my legs. He just saw me, all right? He sends me here with some freaking message and you’re not going to explain to me why?” Fee begs Tony to stay for just 30 more minutes. Tony reminds him he’s given Fee all night. Increasingly frantic, Fee promises to tell him everything if he’ll just wait, but Tony’s done waiting. Desperate, fee tries to block his way out the door. “You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.” Tony shoves him out of the way and yanks the door open. As Fee chases him down the hall, Tony bumps into someone. It’s Sarah. Tony: “Whoa.” Sarah: “Shite.” Fee drawls: “Tony, this is Sarah. Your sister.”
Back inside Fee’s Fun Flat, Sarah admits this is her first time doing this with one of their own. “Cosima sorta jumped me into the whole clone thing.” Tony asks her to shut up for a minute. He stalks around Sarah trying to take it all in. “My mom always said they made a mistake down at the IVF clinic, but shit.” Fee asks if he’s all right. “It’s a lot to take in.” Overall, Tony seems to be doing better than most. “Look at us; we’re hot,” he crows, grinning. “Damn, girl.” I wasn’t sure before, but now can plainly see Tony’s got one or two teeth that are…not. Sarah grins at him, a little weirded out, a little pleased. “Not our usual identity crisis,” she allows. But her new sibling did all that work a long time ago. “There’s only one Tony and you’re not me, sucker,” he says. Sarah is amused and more than a little relieved to find one drama-free brother seestra in this mess. “Guess this is the new guy,” she quips to Fee. He murmurs agreement with a smile. Now that everyone’s up to speed, Tony wants to cut the shit and get down to it. “I got a message and I want to know who they were.” He means the suits who ambushed him and Sammy, who was ex-military and got a lot of their jobs through his old army contacts. He finally delivers Sammy’s message: “Tell Beth Keep the Faith. Paul’s like me. He’s on it. He’s a ghost.” TOLDJA. “A ghost?” Fee repeats. “That’s it?” Tony shoots him a look. “Yeah, then he died.” Fee ducks his head and apologies. Sarah sits on the arm of the couch as she works the message through again. “Paul,” she murmurs.
Back at The Dyad, Rachel’s getting the update on Paul’s whereabouts, which is that no one knows where he is. “No trace? No travel alerts? No digital trail? Paul’s disappeared?” Rachel says to the person on the other end of her phone call. As she speaks, Rachel sees Ethan Duncan arrive and check in with Martin. Rachel tells her minion to keep looking and disconnects as her father enters the office. She greet him as Professor Duncan and says how relived she is they could arrange his return to The Dyad. She offers him tea which he immediately and eagerly accepts. Rachel apologizes for their last meeting. “I was overly emotional.” Ethan allows that they both were. “It was a day I’ve dreamt of for twenty years.” “Well, I have not,” Rachel replies more sharply. She thinks they’re relationship should remain professional for everyone’s sake. Ethan steps closer. “Do you remember I used to read you The Island of Doctor Moreau?” She does. “How does it go?” he asks. “How he may be forgiven for hate but not for irresponsibility?” She doesn’t remember the bit (she clearly does) and asks why it matters. “I hope you can forgive me for being glad that Aldous Leekie is dead.” Rachel flinches but claims to do so.
Donnie raises the trunk lid on his car where he stashed Leekie’s body. The camera shot is from inside the plastic sheeting Donnie put around the body on which there are splotches of blood. “Oh,” he says, probably because of the smell. “I’m pretty sure he crapped himself.” Alison is a mere murky shadow through the plastic. “Oh Dinah,” she whispers. Holy Tilda Swinton indeed. Donnie apologizes that he was going to take Leekie with him when he left. Alison carefully lifts the plastic. “That’s the director of The Dyad Institute?” Huh? She’s met him before at the end of season one; it’s not like she doesn’t know who he is. “He just got in and…I whacked him,” Donnie whispers with horror. “I didn’t even mean to. Oh God.” Alison snaps at him to relax. “He is not at all well-wrapped.” Donnie frowns at her. “You’re worried about the trunk?” Have you met your wife, Donnie? “Yes!” Alison replies heavy with the duh. “I’m gonna make a new liner. And I hope that you threw the weapon in the lake.” Now Donnie is confused. “I put it back in your gun locker,” he replies heavy with you would have killed me otherwise. Now Alison is pissed. “You used my gun!” she shouts. When Donnie merely gapes, she slams the trunk lid shut.
Fee and Sarah go out into the hall to discuss Sammy’s message. “It’s like Sammy’s trying to reassure Beth about Paul?” Fee nods agreement. “They’re both military. I mean what the hell’s that mean?” Fee: “I don’t know. Leekie’s gone. Paul’s AWOL. Enjoy it.” She asks if Fee’s going to be all right. He glances back inside the flat where Tony has stretched out on the couch to contemplate his new set of circumstances. “Yeah,” he decides. “He’s got some of your worst qualities.” Sarah grins fondly at him. They embrace. Tony watches them through the open door. “You’re the very best of us,” she says emotionally. “I know,” Fee replies without missing a beat. She chuckles. Truth. He is the very best brother seestra of them all. “Be safe,” he calls after her as she leaves. Sarah scoffs as she descends the stairs. Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.
Fee goes back inside the flat. He offers Tony another whiskey. “I’ve got sisters,” Tony says as though the epiphany has finally taken hold. “That you do, Tony,” Fee replies. “That you do.” Tony looks at Fee’s portraits of the clones and decides he could get along with “Dreadlocks over there, but that one with the soccer ball looks like a douche.” Fee chuckles but defends Alison. “She’s a functional alcoholic, but she’s not that bad.” Fee pours the booze and tells Tony he plans to keep the newest clone away from the drama, “for now.”
Cut to Rachel pouring tea for Ethan. Smooth segue show. Ethan is making a list and checking it twice of items he needs to begin unlocking the synthetic sequences. Toe of frog. Eye of newt… Rachel notes the floppy-disk drive requirement. “I only claim the road map. Coordinates. Entirely low tech,” Ethan dissembles. Rachel tells him that once he’s located those coordinates, Cosima has unlimited resources with which to work. “But the child is still the prize, isn’t she? Little Kira?” Rachel smiles her snake smile. “Answer me this, professor. Why Sarah? Of all of us, how is it he unmonitored tramp was successful?” No, I was wrong before: Unmonitored Tramp is the name of my next band. Ethan clues in that Rachel is talking about the fertility factor and corrects that actually, Sarah is the failure, not the success. “You are all barren by design,” he says matter of fact.
Rachel blinks a few times as she processes. Cut to her rising from her desk chair and scenes of her laying waste to the contents of the desktop and everything else in the office interspaced with her continued calm conversation with her father. Either this is representative of her internal emotional explosion that she will not allow to be outwardly demonstrated or a delayed rage fest done in private. I’m betting both. The news that she was deliberately made not to procreate is clearly devastating. But while having tea with her father, she works her way through the reasons. “I suppose you couldn’t have created a reproducing prototype, could you?” In the rage sequence, Rachel howls with fury. “That would be irresponsible,” she continues to her father though with an increasingly sharp tone. “Which is unforgiveable.” She glances up as Delphine arrives and introduces her to Ethan. “Dr. Cormier will take you to Cosima. It’s time we begin fixing your mistakes,” she snaps. Ethan definitely got the message on that one. He knows exactly what mistake she means. In the rage sequence, Rachel comes to a heaving stop, eyes wild, face contorted, tears streaking her face.
Art returns to Fee’s Fun Flat as Tony is finally leaving. He tells him and Fee that Tony’s stolen car has been found by the police. “Which means the Dyad’s not going to be far behind,” Fee warns. He tells Art that they get it and asks for two minutes to say goodbye, which Art reluctantly agrees to. “But he needs to be on a bus,” he says pointing to Tony. “Now.” Neither Fee nor Tony look too worried about that, but to be fair, Art does enough worrying for an entire precinct. Fee asks Tony why it is that he’s not worry about the newest member of Clone Club. “Cause this is how I roll,” Tony says. “Can’t fence this shit in.” they both chuckle. “All right there, Tennessee Waterfall,” Fee quips. He pulls a Clone Phone from his back pocket and tells Tony to take it. “There’s three numbers in there, yeah? Me, Art and Sarah. You call it if anything goes wrong.” Tony takes the phone and kisses Fee quick. “You little…” Fee chides with affection. “Later sister-kisser,” Tony gibes back in kind.
In the Sweet Science Crib, Scott and Cosima are getting ready for Ethan’s arrival. Scott dabs at a mustard stain on his lab coat. “Gimme a break. What are you doing?” she groans. She has Scott shed his lab coat and holds out a new one for him. Scott fan boys over the “original geneticist” who’s about to arrive. “I assume he’s here to help us out with 324B21 because otherwise…” He trails off as Cosima interrupts him. “It’s me,” she admits. “I’m 342B21.” Scott chuckles but sobers quickly when he realizes she’s serious. Cosima adjust his collar and it’s clear she is very fond of him. “Do you need me to beam you up, Scotty?” she teases without humor. Scotty is working the problem through and all its implications. “It’s an honor, Cosima,” he says finally, serious and solemn as he shakes her hand. “An honor to be working with you.” Cos tries to laugh it off and is saved by Delphine’s arrival with Ethan Duncan. She starts to introduce them, but Cosima’s steps in and calls Ethan “My maker.” Ethan objects immediately. “It’s Ethan,” he insists. “It’s not every day you get to meet your…Ethan,” she says and laugh nervously. Ethan laughs too and supposes she’s right about that. She tells him they’re ready to work and Delphine seconds that they’re very optimistic. Cosima mmm hmms her agreement. She introduces Scott as being new to the whole thing but “indispensable.” She clears her throat and immediately is wrecked by a violent coughing attack. She doubles over and crashes into nearby shelves. Blood spurts from her mouth. She drops to the floor shaking with seizures. Ethan and Duncan rush to her side. Scott runs for help. SAVE COSIMA.
Back at Mrs. S.’s, Sarah sleeps with Kira. The child rises and carefully gets out of bed without waking her mother. She opens the bedside drawer and takes out the copy of The Island of Doctor Moreau that Ethan gave her. Kira sits on the floor at the foot of the bed, stuffed bear for company, and leafs through pages and pages of complicated formulas and diagrams. As she flips pages, the camera pulls back and up to shoot Kira from the ceiling, now fuzzy in the background as the camera lingers on the blue angel in the hanging mobile.
Next week: “Things Which Have Never Yet Been Done”