We're delighted to once again bring you recaps of Lost Girl, now airing its fourth season in the United States. Don't forget to check into all our Lost Girl coverage, but be warned there are discussion posts for later episodes (we've been talking about the show as it airs in Canada) that contain SPOILERS. Thanks, and please weigh in with your comments!
This post contains spoilers for all aired episodes of Lost Girl, including last night’s 4x07, “La Fae Époque.”
“Where you at, boy?” Kenzi calls as she and Bo enter the busy cop shop. “Hale!” Bo calls. Hale breaks away from a group of cops and meets them at the door. “Where’s Dyson?” he asks without preamble. Bo tells him the Una Mens still have Dyson. “Security is full throttle; no one is getting in.” Kenzi whinges that she took a punch to the neck, “from a monk!” Hale coos over her boo boo. “Aw. Baby,” and then, as Bo pulls her monk prisoner into view, “Oh okay.” Heh. She says the monk is their key to getting to Dyson, “if we can get him to talk.” She muscles him through the bull pen with no thought to how the other cops might take it. “Informant,” Hale says casually, “for my sex worker case.” Kenzi: “What, you guys have never played catch with a monk before? Spice it up, 39th Division!” Ha. So Hale’s back on the job again then. What, did he tell everyone he plowed through those fake lottery winnings and needed his old job back? Guess that meaningless logistical tidbit was relegated to happen “off screen.” Eh, whatever.
Bo dumps the monk into a chair in the interrogation room and immediately pours on the succutouch. “Why take only Dyson when we both broke Fae law by sleeping together?” But the monk recoils from her touch and there’s no joy in the juice, which, hee. “What’s with the no-glow?” Kenzi asks, shocked to see Bo’s power not work for a change. Hale smugly determines the monk’s a eunuch. “Not even beach volleyball would do it for him.” He decides he’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way. Beat him with a phone book? “Yeah, boy,” Kenzi cheerleads. “Get ‘em.” Hale pointedly removes his badge as he tells the monk that he’s going to ask questions and the monk’s going to have answers. The monk looks worried now. “Who is representing Dyson at his trial?!” Hale shouts and pounds the table for emphasis. The monk cringes and covers his ears. Hale realizes he’s sensitive to sound. “You ever meet a siren before?” he asks. He stands up and leans to speak directly into the monk’s ear. “Start talking or…” Hale sends a siren whistle into the monk’s ear and he melts down and agrees to tell them what he knows.
“There is no trial; there is execution.” Bo is incredulous. “For sleeping with Dark Fae?!” But it’s not that at all. “For treason! In 1899 the wolf murdered humans and Fae in cold blood!” Ah, no he didn’t. There is no freaking way Dyson did anything of the sort. Kenzi recoils in shock and she and Hale exchange worried looks but Bo isn’t having any. “Well, I don’t care how long he’s been alive, that is not Dyson.” “Yeah,” Kenzi echoes, weakly. Bo takes her fear out on the monk and gets into his face. “You tell your monks to clear the way so we can get to The Keeper and Funky Bunch. Let’s go!” But the monk is done talking, except for some Latin gibberish. Ah, did anyone check him for a cyanide capsule? He starts to choke and, yep, white foam spills from his mouth. Kenzi groans with disgust. “Loyal little shit,” Hale grumbles. “Latin is a dead language,” Kenzi points out. Heh. Bo demands to know what other options they have. “What about Trick?!” Hale puts his badge back on as he says Trick won’t be granted an audience. “The Una Mens have him on Acting Ash duty.” Bo repeats that there has to be something they can do. “Come on, Worry Watsons! They’re not actually gonna kill D man!” Kenzi jokes, but she trails off as the dead monk falls off the chair and onto the floor. Can’t wait to see how Hale writes that one up in his report. “Are they?” she asks, frightened. I think they might.
Over in the Una Mens’s dungeon, a woman is in a small cage wearing a long white nightshirt. She appears to be Pieta the Scavenger from episode 5 but as I paid as little attention as possible to that one, I’m not entirely sure. She hyperventilates with fear. The Keeper approaches. She holds a long, wicked-looking dagger. Possibly Pieta begs for mercy. “You have the wrong scavenger!” The Keeper calmly mutters more Latin: “Mortis. Invenio. In unitate,” which Google translates as Death. I find. The Unity. So we know she’s doomed. “You have failed to abide by the sacred rules of the Fae,” The Keepers intones without emotion. “If you have any last words, speak them now.” The scavenger sobs, “No! Please! Don’t!” but The Keeper is unmoved. She backs away to allow for a masked executioner to take her place. The executioner wields a huge, scimitar-like sword. As the scavenger backs away from the bars pleading all the while, the executioner thrusts the sword into the cage and kills her. Across the room, naked, his wrists chained to ceiling, that damn gargoyle inconveniently placed in the foreground as a last-minute modesty patch (drop the gargoyle! DROP THE GARGOYLE!), Dyson watches his upcoming fate enacted on another without emotion.
For some inexplicable and unexplained reason, Doctor Lauren and Bo are in Kenzi’s attic bedroom. I’m guessing it’s to make the most use out of the new set. Not like Dyson has a place for them to use anymore. The doc is setting up some tubes as she asks Bo how much time they have. Behind her is the Chinese cat from Bo’s birthday episode in season two, so now all I can see is Hale imitating a cat hissing as he teases Kenzi. Good times.
“An hour? Five minutes? I don’t know,” Bo has to admit. She thanks the doc for coming to help. “Of course I came,” Doctor Lauren says. Ah, there’s no “of course” about it. “I don’t know! Lately,” Bo counters. “You’re with the Dark,” she reminds the doc as she attaches an electrode to Bo’s temple. “Dyson’s Light…” “Dyson’s family,” the doc declares. Since when?! “I’ve saved him before; I’d do it again.” Did we go back to episode one’s BizzaroFaeville and I missed it? So Doctor Lauren thinks she “saved” Dyson when she doped him up to the eyeballs, strapped him down to an operating table, and harvested his DNA against his will? Good Lord, woman, never “save” him again. I doubt he’d survive your benevolence a second time.
She asks Bo how “this” happened, i.e. Dyson getting snatched by the Una Mens. Bo gets a tad sheepish. “They…caught us while we were um…” she leads. “What?” the doc asks absently as she attaches the second electrode. She looks at Bo when she doesn’t answer and Bo makes a face: having wild monkey sex. “Oh!” the doc exclaims heavy with the duh as she catches on. She exhales hard and unhappily. “I get the picture,” she grumbles. Hey, you’re the one who dumped her three times. Sweetie. She methodically and swiftly sticks electrodes on Bo’s chest as Bo tries to skip them past the acknowledgement that she and Dyson are tearing up the sheets again pretty much every night, most mornings, and with some afternoon delight a few times a week thrown in with a little catch-up chat. “So! You and The Morrigan are getting close.” Doctor Lauren grumbles that she sees Kenzi reported back about Evony and the doc’s cozy pizza night. Because it was a secret? Oy, this woman. Bo rushes to say it’s not that at all. “It’s just that you have all this equipment. Does she know it’s to save Dyson?” The doc says she doesn’t know what Evony does or doesn’t know. “I don’t ask; I just take,” she says with an irritated shrug. “It’s kind of a ‘Think Dark to be Dark’ thing.” Heh. Bet they’re getting t-shirts.
Doctor Lauren sticks an electrode in Bo’s cleavage. Of course, Bo tries to make it a sexy moment: “Oh, hello.” But the doc is not in the mood. “Sorry,” she says low and flat with no smile. “Don’t be,” Bo chimes back, oblivious to the fact that she’s coming on to the woman who gave her a frigid brush off not too long ago and who also only just learned her ex-girlfriend is already back bouncing around with her other lover. Classy.
“How heart-warming,” a woman snarks off screen. Hey, it’s Cassie the Oracle from season one! Oh, please tell me her Uncle Mayer is going to make an appearance this season too. Love those two. “What next? Some soy candles? A little Teagan and Sara? Let’s go! I’ve got places to be; people to channel! An oracle’s time isn’t cheap, ya know.” And whoosh! There’s a breath of fresh, snarky air at Hilton Hovel! Bo grouses that they know. “Trick pulled serious strings to get you here.” The doc finishes hooking Bo up and Bo rushes over to sit next to Cassie on the bed. Cassie has already been hooked up to electrodes by the doc. “He owes me, like infinity,” Cassie says. She’s surprised Trick even intervened in Dyson’s situation. “He gets caught, they execute him too.” This is shocking news to Bo. Cassie asks after Bo’s plan. “You need to get me into Dyson’s memory,” Bo orders. “He’s been framed for a billion-year-old murder and I have to prove he’s innocent.” Cassie says she was worried Bo was going to ask her to look into “that gaping black hole in your memory. Impossible. Even for me.” Bo is surprised Cassie can see her memory hole. That was an unintended innuendo, I swear. Over at her temporary monitor station, Doctor Lauren glances over her shoulder at the women as she flips through the instruction manual, inspiring loads of confidence. “You know,” Cassie says, “after our reading a few years back, I thought that you might be the one. The Unaligned Succubus fighting to lead the Fae into a new era?” She scoffs at Bo. “Guess not.”
Doctor Lauren stands up and presents a few strands of red string with ceremony. Gonna whip up a little cat’s cradle? “The final element,” she announces. Cassie freaks out. “Are you scheiße-ing me? The Red String of Fate?! You might as well lobotomize Bo right now!” If Cassie has a better idea, the doc is keen to hear it. “Dyson’s remote; it’s the only way!” She ties a string around Cassie’s ankle and then Bo’s as she explains that, according to legend, the gods used to wrap the Red String of Fate around the ankles of those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. “It’ll secure your connection to Bo and to Dyson,” she tells Cassie. “I’ll stay here; the constant.” Well that’s comforting. “Well that’s beautiful, Doctor Lewis,” Bo snarks. The doc ignores her to explain that Bo is going to go into Dyson’s memory, “but your subconscious will stay present; you’ll likely project familiar places and people that you know into Dyson’s past.”
“Spoiler alert: I’ll make an appearance,” Cassie fills in, picking up the expositional ball. “And when I do, it’s time to get out or risk fusing your memories with Dyson’s.” Bo wants to know what that means, exactly. “You’ll go clinically insane,” Cassie says baldly as the doc literally puts a bow on it. She squeezes Bo’s ankle in reassurance as Cassie continues. “I’ve seen it happen; it’s permanent and not pretty. You’re putting yourself in major danger here, Bo.” Doctor Lauren has heard enough. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Well, the last time Dyson died (which is not the time Vex and The Morrigan almost killed him over another frame up job, nor the time The Norn (Freaking Norn!) ripped out his soul nearly killing him in the process. Or when he took on the Garuda’s berserkers single-handed in order to give Bo and the Gang a chance to escape, or when he fought for his life in Taft’s Fae Thunderdome only to be imprisoned in Pod City so that Doctor Lauren could experiment on him. I know; there’s so many times when Dyson’s taken the hits, often for Bo or someone else, it’s hard to keep track. Thank Fae for your recapper.) But the last time he actually died because he sacrificed himself so Bo could complete her
YDawning, Bo was so destroyed she had a meltdown, went all evil Galadriel, and commandeered the chi of all of her other friends and loved ones, including the doc, for the sole purposes of resurrecting him. So yeah, pretty sure she’ll risk it again for him this time. “I would do the same for you,” Bo replies without hesitation. Let’s not be too hasty. Cassie rolls her eyes and Bo asks what they do now. “We wait,” Doctor Lauren says, “for a connection to Dyson.”
In the Una Mens’s dungeon, Dyson is still chained naked to the rafters. So it’s a bad news/good news situation. One of the monks roughly scrubs down his torso. Dyson endures the humiliation without objection or resistance, which is demonstrably out-of-character. He’s fallen back into brooding mode of old, only this has the air of fatalism, almost as if he’s earned his sentence this time. Something bad has a grip on our Wolf but good. Another monk slowly comes into view, coming around from scrubbing his back to work on Dyson’s flank; it’s Kenzi in disguise. When Dyson glances under his raised arm and sees her, she shushes him. “Keep washing him,” Monk One orders. On alert now, Dyson keeps watch on the monk while Kenzi works her way down his flank, hilariously grimacing and rolling her eyes as she bypasses his bare butt to crouch at his feet and surreptitiously tie the third Red String of Fate around his ankle. It glows as she puts a bow on it. Back in Kenzi’s bedroom, the string around Bo and Cassie’s ankles glows too. Doctor Lauren exclaims with triumph. “Kenzi did it! It’s working!” Cassie warns Bo that “this is it. You’re gonna want to take a deep breath.”
Before Bo can ask why, she is seized by a convulsion. Black and white images tinged with red blood featuring Dyson in early 19th century clothes and an unidentified woman in a fancy dress flash through Bo’s mind. Suddenly a now naked Bo wakes to the pounding on a door. She sits up and clutches a rough blanket to her chest. “C’est qui?!” she calls. “Ouvre la porte, salud!” a man shouts back. A woman squeals with alarm and two equally-naked blondes pop up on either side of Bo. The man at the door bursts into the room. “Where is he?!” he asks the two girls who are now the only ones in the room. “I love him!” the girls say simultaneously. They look at one another—you love him
? —but their father has caught sight of the ragged hole in the wall behind his daughters. He peers through it. “This opening is too small for a man!” he decides.
In the street below, a broadsheet on the wall advertises Cabaret du Ciel avec Flora Blooms tous les soires. A wolf crawls out of the alley behind the sign. It peers around; finding the street empty, the wolf transforms back into a naked Bo. That was super fantastic. I love that Bo now uniquely knows what it’s like for Dyson to become the wolf. That is a mega deep level of intimacy. She glances up and smiles as she sees clothes on a line waiting to be snatched. A minute later, she strides confidently out into public in trousers, vest, and cape. Catching a glimpse of herself in a store’s window, she preens and smugly adjusts her collar. The reflection she sees is of Dyson and as Bo strokes her chin, in the reflection Dyson rubs his beard. Reflection Dyson smooth a hand down his vested chest, which means Bo just essentially felt herself up. “Dyson, you handsome devil,” Bo’s voice says. WE KNOW. Reflection Dyson’s mouth forms the words with a wry smile. Bo certainly is enjoying being in Dyson’s body, so to speak, which is…odd but whatever. Drink!
BoDyson (look, there’s no way in hell I’m using the moniker Byson or DyBo because 1. They’re not bovine and 2. No. Hell no.) Anyway, BoDyson strides down the circa 1899 Parisian street, which used to masquerade as the streets of the now defunct show Copper. There are various extras dressed in period clothing to add ambiance. Someone really had a good time dressing this set. There are even goats! I bet BoDyson is a good goat-getter. That crack will be funny in another week or so. Bo snatches a newspaper—La Demain—from the hands of the man reading it. A goat bleats on the soundtrack. Snort. Bo scans the paper in order to recap her current time and place, then uses it to shield her face when men carrying hoes—of course they are—burst out of an alley clearly searching for her. Him. This is gonna hurt my brain, isn’t it?
Okay, so when Bo is interacting with people from Dyson’s memory, she’s speaking the words and behaving as Dyson did in those encounters all those years ago. It appears as though she has no control over her actions or responses in those encounters. When she’s making various asides to herself, she’s speaking as an aware Bo separate from her role as Dyson in this memory walk. At any point of confusion, drink more; it won’t make better sense, but you’ll definitely care less.
Lowering the paper after the men have passed by, Bo reads the advert for Cabaret du Ciel avec Flora Blooms tous les soires in the paper. Alas, she—he—has revealed herself—himself—too soon. The pair of Frenchman pause, exchange looks, and turn back as one to gape at BoDyson. BoDyson takes off running, throwing the newspaper aside as she picks up speed. The Frenchmen pursue, gesticulating wildly as central casting Frenchmen do. In the foreground, the goat stands alone. Dying.
Bo slams into a gate, which handily stops her escape. The two Frenchmen corner her—okay, only one of them wields a hoe, presumably the brother. The other, the father, aims a shotgun as he accuses BoDyson of violating his “precious daughters.” “Precious,” BoDyson repeats archly, “and ah, persuasive. You know, as your father, you should know…” The father cuts her/him off. “Don’t you dare,” he warns. BoDyson mockingly apologizes as she/he tries to sidle around the pair. “You seem like a noble man; your wife speaks very highly of you.”
“You know Isabelle?!” the father accuses, aiming the gun. Backing up again, BoDyson makes a gesture and a noise that effectively insinuates he knows Isabelle in the Biblical way. “You have gone too far!” the father exclaims as he and the brother corners BoDyson against the gate again. “I hope you enjoy hell,” he says as he cocks the gun. “Excusez-moi?” a new voice intrudes. The father turns around to discover… a small man in a red, hooded monk’s robe wielding a Bo staff. The newcomer clocks the father across the face then takes a stance toward the brother as he pulls off the hood to reveal…Trick! With a Bo staff. Heh. Trick gives the brother that cocky come on gesture made popular by The Matrix. Commence the hoe down! The brother hacks at Trick with his hoe, but Trick quickly whacks the holy hell outta him. Whacking. He’s hell at whacking. As the brother hits the ground, Trick swings the staff around to show off a bit with good reason. “A Bo staff?” BoDyson observes. “That’s unusual in these parts, monsieur…?” Without answering the implied question, Trick tells BoDyson to follow him if she/he wants sanctuary. He doesn’t wait for an agreement before he leads the way. “Does this sanctuary serve ale?” BoDyson grumbles as she steps over the unconscious bodies and gives the father a distempered kick.
Back in Trick’s tanière, Trick kneels before his tea while BoDyson paces like a caged wolf. Trick notes that Dyson has quite the reputation: “Thief. Con.” BoDyson adds “philanderer” to the list and Trick observes that Dyson is proud of his rep. “Tickled,” BoDyson tosses off, but adds that they both know the French like to talk, indicating the rep might not all be earned. “Not just the French; your infamous throughout Europe,” Trick says, a tad amused. “Okay, now? I’m proud,” BoDyson drawls in passable imitation of THAT VOICE. “You’re powerful, Dyson,” Trick counters. “Capable of more. Of good.” This gets Dyson’s attention and Trick notices it. BoDyson bends over to place her/his cup deliberately before Trick. “Alternately, your robe smells like turnips and I’m late for a rendezvous with a farmer’s wife. So farewell, Crazy.” Now that was all Bo though it’s supposed to be Dyson. Trick shouts “You will listen!” after the departing BoDyson and then “The Hellskór!” BoDyson slides back into view and Trick continues. “The ancient hel shoes sought after by the most powerful Fae, including The One Who Wanders.” Dyson’s heard the tales. “Wars waged. Blood shed. They can only be worn by the worthy hero.” Trick expositions there’s a rumor a prince has uncovered the shoes and is now selling them to the highest bidder. “You must intercept them before the fall into the wrong hands. It is said that they can lead to the End of Days,” he finishes tightly as Dyson doesn’t immediately leap to be his messenger boy. BoDyson asks what he gets for it and Trick asks what he wants. “Francs,” she/he duhs. “What do you really want?” Trick asks with a large, knowing smile. Suspicious, Dyson demands to know Trick’s identity. Trick gets to his feet to introduce himself. “Fitzpatrick McCorrigan.” BoDyson is unimpressed. “Thanks for the tip on the shoes…Trick.” Oh, I love that Dyson gave Trick the nickname!
In Kenzi’s loft, Doctor Lauren checks a monitor. On the bed, Bo starts to mutter. “Shoes. Milkmaids. Boobs.” The doc takes a moment to process. “Oh. Good to know Dyson was an intellectual,” she snarks. Good to know even when he’s hours from being executed, you still feel the need to take potshots at Dyson to make yourself feel better. Bo keeps on muttering. “Hel shoes. Bo staff. Trick.” Doctor Lauren plops down on the bed next to her. “It is a non sequitur party and we’re all invited,” she says with incongruous fondness. “Bo, you are not making any sense.” Bo: “He Who Wanders.” Now the doc goes on alert. “What was that?” Bo: “Hellskór.” The doc tries to get Bo to repeat the bit about The Wanderer. But Bo has moved on back to “boobs.” “OK,” the doc gives in, “boobs it is.”
The Dal the Cabaret du Ciel. Immediately, a beauty in a white blonde wig and white angel’s costume, completely with wings, wraps herself around BoDyson’s arm. It’s Kenzi! Sorta. Oh, so this is where Bo superimposes people she knows on the people Dyson interacted with in his past. Got it. “Enter on your feet and leave on a cloud,” she says provocatively in a thick Parisian accent as she leads BoDyson to the bar, snagging an additional patron along the way. “Bienvenue au Cabaret du Ciel.” BoDyson drawls that it’s heavenly. Another angel detaches the second patron from AngelKenzi leaving her to rub up against BoDyson. “You have entered the place where dreams come true outside of time and space.”
Suddenly, AngelKenzi is sprawled on the bar the way things in dreams shift inexplicably. She caresses BoDyson’s face coquettishly. “Grab a beverage? Grab an angel?It is time to fly!” BoDyson enjoys AngelKenzi’s play but then flatly demands his drink. “Ah, connard! You take all the fun out of my job!” AngelKenzi complains. Y’all need to go look that one up on Google Translate for yourselves. She slips behind the bar and starts mixing the drink. BoDyson takes in the room and her gaze lands on a pair of wealthy gentlemen…oh my giddy aunt, that’s Vex! He’s wearing a brocade sash, which likely indicates he’s the prince Trick was talking about who is selling the Hellskór. I so hope he twirls that mustache before this episode’s ends. BoDyson’s attention is caught by an incongruous man in a ball cap and jacket with a towel over his shoulder who turns to leave the moment as she sees him. “Memory glitch much,” she snaps. “That doesn’t make any sense.” AngelKenzi places an aperitif beside BoDyson and leans over the bar. “Everyone seems to want a piece of le prince tonight, especially “face” over there,” she says pointing out the Prince’s scarred companion. She adds that he calls himself Crater and is big in business. “An angel with her ear to the ground,” BoDyson murmurs as she/he strokes Angel’s face. Angels simpers under her/his attention and continues. “Travelling prince. Great fortune. Seeks excitement. Ignores la plus pas barmaid as zee waits for the main attraction!” she shouts in the prince’s direction. “You know who?” she coos to BoDyson. “She does not attract the crowd she used to, hmm?” BoDyson looks over her/his shoulder toward the stage. “They don’t know what they’re missing,” she/he drawls. As the music strikes up for the main event in question, Angel whispers that Dyson needs to get to “her” boudoir before le prince does. “Vite! It’s show time!”
BoDyson turns toward the stage as AngelKenzi sashays down the bar and announces the main act. “Madames et monsieurs. Let me present to you Mademoiselle Flora Blooms!” She gestures toward the stage on which is a now revolving tree trunk as a woman begins to sing in French. The tree trunk reveals Zoie Palmer glammed up as a French chanteuse and for a second I wonder if she’s channeling Poison Ivy. She looks gorgeous and for the record, she did actually sing the song herself, no voice double required. As BoDyson watches, Flora makes her way through the crowd, still singing, and makes a point of caressing le prince. As she moves on through the room, le prince leans back to better admire Flora’s departing assets and BoDyson’s gaze narrows with aggravation to see it. Flora climbs back on the stage and poses with her tree trunk. Back at the bar, Bo thanks her subconscious for the solid. “Subtle.” So this little bit is all an aware Bo. For absolute no good reason whatsoever, except perhaps sheer prurient curiosity, she grabs her groin and looks down at what she’s discovered. “Looks like Dyson’s enjoying it too,” she says, smirking. Stay classy, show. A moment later, Bo is forced to leave the bar as Dyson’s memory prods her onward. “What? No! Flora slash (Doctor) Lauren isn’t done singing yet! In French!” Bo protests, even as she’s dragged away. Heh.
Now that all the players are present, let’s clarify what’s happening here, ‘cause it’s all about to get really tricky. Bo is living Dyson’s memories of these events that led to whatever crime the Una Mens are accusing him of committing in the present. But, as Cassie warned Bo earlier, her subconscious is replacing the people in Dyson’s life during this time with identities from Bo’s own life. It’s not that in the past, Dyson had adventures and intimacies with the doppelgangers of Kenzi, Vex, and Doctor Lauren, respectively, but rather that Bo’s subconscious is superimposing those identities over Dyson’s memory of the original Angel, Flora, and le prince. Dyson and Trick aren’t being added to her subconscious repertoire because they are key players in the events as themselves and thus already have roles even as the role of Dyson in tonight’s performance is being played by Bo. Got it? Yeah. Right.
In the Una Mens’s dungeon, flanked by two monk minions, Hale defends Dyson to The Keeper as Dyson silently watches from his cage. “He is an upstanding citizen of this colony. A protector of the Light!” The Keeper counters that Dyson is also a murderer and risked exposing the Fae to humans. “The wolf will be killed for his crimes.” Dyson flinches a bit at that but otherwise remains stoic as he listens to them debate his fate. Kenzi stands behind The Keeper’s left shoulder, head bowed, still in her monk’s cowl. Hale tries again
and this time shamelessly wields the Fae position he once scorned. “ As the former Ash and heir to the Zamora clan, may I remind you that “Dyson has fought for many lives. Helped defeat the Garuda. Risked his life for our people. You have to consider.” The Keeper says they have considered. Hale exhales and shifts on his feet, confident that if the Una Mens do consider, they must release Dyson. He nods to Dyson who returns the acknowledgement with less confidence.
“We refute,” The Keeper says to Hale. “You are dismissed.” Hale erupts as the monk minions grab his arms to restrain him. “Is this what you call justice?! Peace?! I’ve had enough with this fascism. The Fae have had enough! Soon they will rise above and they will rule themselves!” It’s at that moment that Kenzi’s mobile goes off. Dyson bends an incredulous look her way as Kenzi scrambles to silence her phone, chanting “oops! oops!” but it’s too late. She looks at Hale guiltily. “I swear I had it on vibrate!” she hisses. Hale squints a silent rebuke at her for acknowledging their connection. “You have brought a human into our chambers?” The Keeper accuses. “Of your many insults, this is the most galling.” The monk minions drag a struggling Hale away as he calls for Kenzi. Kenzi freaks out and begs The Keeper to take her instead of Hale. “Proceed with the wolf’s execution,” The Keeper intones to her minions, “and the human will join him.” Dyson and Kenzi exchange frightened looks. Really, he’s remarkably calm given all this. He’s not making any objections about anything and that is very much not usual Dyson behavior at all.
Back in Kenzi’s loft, Doctor Lauren infodumps for those of us at home just joining in as she urges the unconscious Bo to hurry up and figure out Dyson’s alibi and get out of his memory while she still can. “You can do this!” she says as though anyone was in doubt in the first place. Bo moans and then more black and white images flash by sprinkled with splashes of red blood ending with Flora sitting at her make-up table in black lace panties and bustier as she freshens up her face. Dyson slides out from behind her dressing screen to appear behind her in the mirror. Flora grabs a knife off her table and springs up to aim it at BoDyson who now stands where Dyson appeared to be in the mirror. There’s a charged paused and then Flora tosses the knife aside and jumps on BoDyson. So we get an episode about Dyson’s back story only the parts actually about Dyson’s back story are manipulated to create an excuse to have more scenes of Bo and “Doctor Lauren” macking (even though it’s not really Doctor Lauren), which handily skirts around the fact that the doc has now dumped Bo three times and has the added advantage of relegating Dyson to an uncharacteristically passive role in his own
episode fate. Nifty.
Flora pulls back from BoDyson and, after a moment, smacks her/him hard across the face. Given what a selfish brat Bo has been all season (and last), I enjoyed that probably more than I should. “It’s been weeks; where have you been?!” she demands in a French accent. BoDyson rubs her
beard face. “You care?” So she’s back to answering as Dyson did when this was all real. Flora admits that she does not. BoDyson pulls her back for more macking but again Flora pulls away and tells her/him that she/he has to leave. Flora’s boudoir, by the way, is the Hilton Hovel set. “Something is afoot with our prince,” BoDyson drawls. Heh. Flora rolls her eyes. “Hence my heavy agenda of scheming and stealing. Now go!” She opens the door but BoDyson closes it without leaving. “This prince carries more than just coin,” BoDyson muses. After a full frontal shot of Flora in her panties and bustier so we might all properly appreciate Zoie Palmer’s glory, Flora takes her robe from the edge of her dressing screen with deliberate movements. “Go on,” she says grudgingly. “Hellskór,” BoDyson reveals with satisfaction but Flora scoffs at the very idea. “C’est ridicule! They don’t exist.” BoDyson counters that maybe they do exist and le prince is in possession of them. BoDyson pulls the Flora into her/his arms and starts chewing on her neck, but Flora is miles away turning the idea of the Hellskór over in her mind. “Imagine,” she says, pushing Bo/Dyson off her. “Imagine how much we could get for them. Thousands! Maybe more!” BoDyson says Flora could finally hang up her floral brasserie. Flora agrees that times are changing. “It’s the end of an era,” BoDyson says. “Adieu, La Belle Epoque!” Flora mutters. “You know, the people don’t look at me like they used to,” she whinges while checking her face in a hand mirror. BoDyson teases that now she’s just fishing, “they adore you!” But Flora knows better. “They see an illusion; a cheap illusion. They don’t really know me.” I am working really hard not to openly draw the blatant subtext connections to the real Doctor Lauren here.
Flora sets down the mirror and gets crafty. “But you know, if we pull this off, I could return to my tree of Gernika. To my grass. My meadow,” she muses, dodging BoDyson’s attempt to snag her for more macking en route to her standing mirror. Lady really likes to look at herself, doesn’t she? I mean, it’s clearly a theme about reflections not matching the outer shell and people being other than what they appear, etc. But still. BoDyson points out that Flora could buy back her Basque forest. Flora is clearly intrigued by the idea. “This cabaret will miss having a leshii Fae around,” BoDyson admits. Flora scoffs again. “They can find another woodland spirit to seduce the rich.” She decides the Hellskór are her way out, “but, you know, I might miss the perks,” she adds coyly as she toys with BoDyson’s belt. BoDyson yanks Flora back into an embrace. “Is that what I am to you? A perk?” Flora ignores this and they sway in a slow circle as she says since BoDyson came up with “zee tip,” they’ll split the profits 50/50. “And then we’ll flee together so I can protect you in your travels,” BoDyson says. Flora clucks her tongue and insists she doesn’t need BoDyson’s protection, “but if you want to join me…explore my land,” she says. Flora kisses BoDyson then sighs as BoDyson backs away.
Flora shoves BoDyson down on the bed then straddles her/him. They mack then switch positions so Flora can go to work on BoDyson’s belt while Bo strips off her shirt. There is a lot of Bo’s naked if shadowed breast right before Flora pulls BoDyson down on top of her for more macking. Cut to the full on sex scene as the camera pans down to show Flora on the bottom while BoDyson…thrusts away on top of her. Okaythis is getting weird now. There’s heavy breathing and…bouncing as Bo as Dyson continues to have sex with Flora. Bo glances over into one of Flora’s many mirrors. In the reflection, Dyson looks back at her, allowing a full side shot of a naked Dyson and Flora going hot and heavy. Reflection Dyson pauses mid-thrust for a furrowed brow and dropped shoulder move of confused if intrigued WTF?! Bo continues thrusting even as she watches Dyson with Flora in the mirror. “So ah…this is happening,” she observes with a pleased smile as Flora’s hand strokes her neck in an attempt to mimic the actions already displayed in the mirror. Bo keeps watching the mirror as Reflection Dyson turns his attention back to the very happy Reflection Flora, lifting her up from the bed for a better angle. I guess. That’s certainly one way to have a visual pseudo-threesome of the despised “love triangle” without actually having a legitimate threesome. I’m trying to figure out if I’m more amused at the blatant manipulation or creeped out. It’s pretty neck and neck at the moment. “For…investigative purposes, right?” Bo says. She bites her bottom lip and smiles lasciviously. Obviously, Bo is getting off on it. “Right.” Flora grabs Bo’s head to yank her down; switch to the mirror where the same move ends with her kissing Dyson as they…um…finish.
In Kenzi’s loft, Doctor Lauren notices Bo breathing is irregular. “Heart rate is increasing slightly. God, what are you seeing in there?” Trust me, doc. You don’t really want to know. She takes a bite out of a sandwiches and grimaces. “Really? Chocolate spread? You couldn’t have peanut butter like everybody else?” If you don’t like it, then don’t steal it. Better yet, go somewhere else. On the bed, Bo moans Doctor Lauren’s name. The doc hurries to the bed. “Yes, I’m here! Hi!” Bo moans again, “Ohhh (Doctor) Lauren,” and the doc clues in that Bo’s having a sex moment. She preens with pleasure. “Wow. Even in Dyson’s subconscious, you’re thinking of me. Score one for the doctor.” She thinks for a moment. “Unless that’s Dyson talking.” Right, because scoring points off your rival who’s about to be killed for a crime he didn’t commit, especially when you’ve dumped the lover in question three times already and, moments earlier, coldly rejected said lover’s attempt to flirt again is such a noble, classy move. Please. Go away, Doctor Lauren. Just go.
Next to Bo, Cassie starts counting down, “98, 97, 96…”and the doc frowns. “That can’t be good.” No shit.
Back in La Hilton Hovel, someone knocks on Flora’s door. “Who ees eet?” Flora calls from the bed. “It is I—the pwince!” Prince Vex’s muffled voice announces. Flora scrambles from the bed, dragging BoDyson with her on whom she was resting as she frets that she/he has to hide. BoDyson tells Flora to signal if she needs him but Flora insists she can handle le prince. “You don’t want to give me a safe word?” BoDyson teases her. “Oui,” Flora agrees. “Back off.” She shoves a grinning BoDyson down out of sight.
“Cherie!” Flora calls as she prances over to admit Prince Vex. She pauses in front of yet another mirror (natch), fixes her hair, (which despite the sexcapades, remains un-mussed), plumps up the girls, and opens the door to Prince Vex, who bears a small box in his hands. It has to be said that Zoie Palmer is having a blast playing Flora and it shows in only the best of ways.
She greets “Prince Filipe” (spelling per the closed captions so don’t blame me) and coyly asks if she should bow. “Pwlease. Allow me to introdwuce myself,” the pwince says as he enters with a glottal attack that sounds like he’s hacking a hairball. “I am Pwince Filipe the Third. I have twavelled from Castile to make your dewectable acquaintance.” Flora coos that he has come so far. “Let me lighten your load, hmm?” she offers, neatly slipping the box from his grip. She leads him to the newly made up bed she just vacated with BoDyson and asks Prince Filipe what he fancies as she pushes him down on it. “You do not waste time,” Prince Filipe says, pleased. The lisp Paul Amos employs for the le pwince is killing me. Flora grabs a blindfold as she trills that time is a game played best by children. “I hate children,” Pwince Filipe growls. Snort. Flora calls him a wise man and playfully kisses the tip of his nose. “Let’s begin.” She puts the blindfold on him; Pwince Filipe objects. “I have come so far to see your pwetals in bwoom.” Dying. Flora promises he will and kisses his neck to distract him as she fumbles with the box to reveal the Hellskór. “The unknown can also be so titillating, hmm?” She lifts one of the shoes from the box, but in her fascination Flora’s missed the fact that Pwince Filipe has pulled down the blindfold. “What do you think you are doing?” he demands. Flora tries to shrug it off as foreplay, but Pwince Filipe isn’t buying it. “You should not touch what does not belong to you!” he shouts, rising to his feet. Suddenly, he’s yanked back and a returned BoDyson clocks le pwince across the face knocking him out. I kid you not; the closed captions read “(pow!).” HA!
“I had eem!” Flora yells. “A ‘thank you’ would suffice,” BoDyson snits. Flora thanks her/him but starts to freak out with ever rising pitch to her voice. “But now we have concussed royalty on our hands. His soldiers…” BoDyson shakes her back to reason and explains they only need tell the soldiers le pwince is resting after his long trip and sexcapades with Flora. BoDyson grabs up the Hellskór as Flora frets over whether the soldiers will search them. “They won’t think twice to look at your feet,” BoDyson decides. She/he pushes Flora back on the bed and quickly puts the Hellskór on her feet as the soldiers knock on the door. It’s a perfect fit and BoDyson lifts Flora to her feet so they can flee…only to stop short as Flora’s eyes go opaque with the power of the Hellskór. “Your eyes,” BoDyson gasps. Flora scoffs that now is not the time for compliments, “we have to…” But now she stops too as the power of the Hellskór takes her under. “Dyson!” she cries. “It burns!” The shoes rustle and mold themselves to Flora’s feet. “I have been denied!” Flora snarls at BoDyson in a guttural voice. “The Hellskór are not intended for me.”
The soldiers knock again demanding entrance. BoDyson shoves Flora back on the bed and frantically tries to get the Hellskór off her feet, but they won’t come off. Flora draws back her foot and clocks BoDyson in the face and then flees La Hilton Hovel. After a moment, BoDyson follows just before Crater kicks in the front door.
Back in the Una Mens’ dungeon, a white pajama clad Kenzi is led into Dyson’s cell. Dyson doesn’t budge an inch from his position at the door as she’s shoved inside. “Those are some e-fficient monks,” she quips weakly as the monk minions depart. “Didn’t miss an inch!” “Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything but…” Dyson murmurs without humor. “Hey, I crawled through a sewer to rescue your sweet heiney, so don’t even,” Kenzi snaps. “It’s clever,” Dyson allows, “masking your scent.” “Yeah,” Kenzi snarks back. He’s snarly over the fact that she risked herself for him and didn’t even have the sense to silence her phone first. She paces away into what little space the cell offers, giving them each a break. “I’m glad you’re here,” Dyson finally admits on a deep breath and a resigned smile. “Least now I won’t be bored.” No chance of that! “Imminent death? Hair-frizzing humidity? Yeah. What a snooze fest!” Kenzi replies. Heh. Dyson allows that it’s kind of like a day off. “It’s nice to just sit around and wait to be saved for once.” I’m sorry, who are you and what did you do with Dyson Thornwood? Is this the same man who raged against having to stay in the sanctuary of The Dal for a night while Bo and Kenzi figured out who’d set him up for a murder once before? I mean, there’s character growth and then there’s-no-way-in-hell-would-he-act-that-way-ever. I think somebody confused Dyson for Doctor Lauren.
Kenzi wonders if Dyson is even a little bit scared. “What I am is impressed,” he says. He ducks his head to her level. “That you managed to get in here without getting caught. When we do get out of here,” he says with confidence, “I think it’s time I start training you.” Kenzi idly wonders what he’ll train her to be. “To be a Shadow Thief.” He asks if she’s interested. “Yeah,” Kenzi duhs. “Sounds like a frickin’ X Box game.” Dyson already has her first task ready too. “Lose the ringtone,” he orders dryly. “Oh no. No, I’m out. Can’t do that,” Kenzi replies and Dyson laughs.
He goes back to standing guard at the door then, after a moment, catches himself on the cage door as a something rolls through him. “I can feel Bo. She’s in my memories,” he tells Kenzi. She asks if he’s worried about what Bo might find. “Let’s just say when you’ve lived as long as I have…” His jaw clenches. “I’ve got regrets,” he admits softly. Those regrets still weigh on him too. “D, did you actually murder someone?” Kenzi whispers. Dyson tells her it’s a long story, “and believe it or not, it starts with a pair of shoes.” Kenzi lets him lighten the mood for a moment. “Sounds like my kind of story,” she teases back. But Dyson quickly sobers. “Yeah.”
Back in Past Paris, the clock tower bell tolls once as Bo walks down the street and past a slew of bloody bodies lining the sidewalks. “Flora did all this,” she realizes. “Why is Dyson being blamed?” She glances around, but as she does, the sound of someone counting reaches her. Bo turns back; modern-day Cassie now stands before her. “Oh no, no, no,” Bo moans. “It stinks here,” Cassie sneers. “Dear Period France: wash!” HA! She tells Bo her time is almost up. “You need to cut the string; you’re the only one who can do it.” Bo is about to object when she sees the out-of-time guy from the club. “What’s with the coach?” she asks Cassie. Cassie realizes Bo’s memories are fusing with Dyson’s. “You need to listen to me!” But Bo cuts her off and insists she doesn’t have enough information yet. “I have to find out why he’s being framed.” Cassie thinks Bo is dumb to stay. “But damn it, I’m impressed.” Eh, you’ll get over it. “You’ve lasted longer in someone’s memory than anyone I’ve ever seen.”
Down the street, a woman screams. Bo begs Cassie to help her and Cassie tells Bo that she’s brave. “And something else. Something new. You sure you want to sacrifice it all for a wolf?” she sneers. Hey! Step off the wolf there, missy. Don’t make me stop liking you and your snarky ways. Bo emotionally says she has to try. Cassie bends over and unties her Red String of Fate. Dropping it deliberately at Bo’s feet, she resumes counting down this time from eleven. Bo glances at the bodies surrounding her and then runs off in the direction of the scream with Cassie now nowhere in sight.
In Kenzi’s bedroom, Cassie counts back down to zero and wakes up with a gasp. “They’re real!” The doc is startled. “What? What’s real?” But Cassie pays her no attention. She frantically strips off the electrodes. “See what kind of danger this puts me in?! I never wanted to see any of this shit!” She leaps off the bed as the doc demands to know what is happening with Bo. “I tried tapping her out,” Cassie says. “What?! She stayed?!” Doctor Lauren shouts, incredulous. “Yeah. When she wakes up, one: get the straightjacket ready and two: you’re all dead because of those shoes!” Hang on. Bo never said anything about the Hellskór and Cassie never even saw Flora so how again does she know about the shoes? All Cassie saw were bodies. Doctor Lauren has no idea what Cassie is talking about but she demands Cassie go back into Dyson’s memory and retrieve Bo. “I already cut my string!” Cassie shouts up from midflight down the stairs. “Get in bed,” the doc orders. “Trick can…” “Suck my left tit!” Cassie finishes. HA! That was great timing there. She takes a calming breath. “Look, whatever you do, don’t cut the Red String of Fate yourself, okay?” Why not? You just cut yours and told Bo to cut hers, so… Cassie leaves and Doctor Lauren turns back to Bo who is moaning about blood, “so much blood.”
Back in not-so-gay Paris, Bo
runs around an alley corner to finds Flora kneeling on the ground next to another body. “Flora, you don’t want to do this,” she says. Miserable, Flora looks up from her hands which now sport claws that have sprout from her knuckles. First Kenzi channeled Jubilee now Flora is Wolverine? Is this an X-Men crossover fantasy after all? “Can’t stop,” she moans, miserable, but then quickly goes feral again. “I won’t stop.” She lunges at BoDyson and now we have a full-fledged fight between BoDyson and Flora! The visual of Bo and Doctor Lauren beating on one another, even if only as stand-ins for other people, is still deeply satisfying. If only it were real. Please, please, please, please, please let this be foreshadowing for a future season! Flora is really after Dyson’s blood too and they wind up in a reverse embrace as Bo delivers the requisite “I don’t want to hurt you” line but Flora likes that’s no fun because she really wants to “hear you whimper. Please? For me?” She breaks loose and attacks BoDyson again. This time as BoDyson holds tight to Flora’s clawed hands, wolf gold glows her in eyes. She snarls and Bo wolfs out, forehead, teeth, eyes, and all. Very cool! With a growl, she turns Flora’s hands around and shoves the bone claws into her stomach in a macabre embrace.
Immediately, the opaque fades from Flora’s eyes as in death, the Hellskór releases its hold on her. “What have I done?” Flora bemoans. BoDyson lowers her to the ground. “It’s not you; it’s the shoes,” she/he reassures the dying Flora. “All the darkest parts of myself. All of them. Here. Now,” Flora confesses. BoDyson promises to get her out of this and again tries to remove the shoes from Flora but they still won’t come off. “I don’t want to hurt anyone!” Flora cries. “I don’t want to hurt you.” BoDyson swears she/he’ll fix it and begs Flora to stay with her/him. “I love you!” But Flora knows better. “No you don’t,” she says, less hysterical. “My love is the forest. And yours? I have a feeling that yours is yet to come. And when she does, she will be…” Out of nowhere comes a gunshot and Flora grunts as it hits her. “Oh no,” BoDyson murmurs even as the light leaves Flora’s eyes. A man appears in the foreground, pistol in hand, as BoDyson continues to beg Flora to stay with her/him.
In Kenzi’s bedroom, Bo has gone quiet. “I think I liked it better when you were muttering nonsense,” the doc mutters. “What is going on?!” She tries to wake Bo by smacking her leg and shaking her. When that doesn’t work, she goes to untie Bo’s Red String of Destiny, but stops herself. Instead, she grabs another string which just happens to be lying nearby. Okay, fine, it’s probably Cassie’s discarded string. Except no, Cassie left that in the past for Bo. The doc thinks for a moment, and then goes over to the mirror to leave Bo a message in lipstick. “Bo, I hope you can see this,” she says, “‘cause I’m coming in.” Oh just nifty.
Back in Paris, the Hellskór shoes are now inexplicably lying next to the dead Flora. Someone drops a gun on top of them and BoDyson looks up from the dead singer to glare at her murderer. “No more bullets?” It’s Crater and he smiles smugly. “A man with a reputation as yours, everyone will think it was you.” BoDyson shakes her head in denial. Crater demands she/he give him the shoes. “What did you do?” BoDyson accuses, crying openly now. Crater explains he was provided explicit instructions. “Get shoes. Whatever the cost.” He orders Dyson to run, “like you’ve always done. Leave the shoes behind.” BoDyson accuses Crater of killing Flora. “Mortis. Invenio. In unitate,” Crater recites. “You don’t care about this woman; you’ve never cared about anyone but yourself.” he sneers. “Rotterdam 1864. The fire at Boijmans. London 1817. Your implication in the Poyais scheme. The countless men you’ve conned, the women you shamed.” Wow. Somebody did his homework. BoDyson bears her teeth and orders Crater to be quiet, but he ignores her/him. “You’re a waste of flesh. All you’ve ever done is steal and screw. And now your selfishness has killed Flora. In fact, we were counting on this.” BoDyson looks down at the dead Flora and loses all her/his rage. “You’re right. This is all my fault.” Crater tells Dyson he can now resume his life as it was. “Go on. Run.” BoDyson gets to her/his feet. Panting she/he looks around; it’s clear she/he is getting ready to do just that.
“Go on: run,” Dyson voice-overs in THAT VOICE. Back in the cage, he finishes telling the story to Kenzi. “And for a second I considered it,” he admits. Kenzi wonders why. “You were innocent.” But Dyson doesn’t see it that way. “I did it; I killed Flora.” Kenzi reminds him that Crater shot Flora, but Dyson feels responsible because he made her put on the Hellskór. “Because of me, she killed those people. Because of me, she was killed.” Kenzi emphatically reminds Dyson he didn’t know all that would happen. “But I thought I did. My arrogance, my ignorance, that was my crime. And now the past has caught up with me, Kenzi.” Kenzi can’t argue with that so instead she asks what happened next.
“Give me the shoes,” Crater orders Dyson again, and it is Dyson this time as he’s now the one telling the story. Hallelujah! Welcome to your back story, Wolfie. “Be free!” (Nice end-of-season-two echo there.) But Dyson isn’t going anywhere this time. “You think I’m gonna let you and your masters, whoever they may be, possess this sort of evil, you’re mistaken. If you want the Hellskór, you’re gonna have to kill me first.” He wolfs out, fully prepared to take Crater on, but instead it’s Ninja Trick to the rescue! He whacks Crater across his back with the Bo staff and calmly stands before Dyson. “Lemme guess: You’re here for the shoes too?” Dyson says, clearly ready to fight Trick too if he has to, but Trick easily admits that he never wanted them. “I seek a second for the New World.” But at this point, Dyson isn’t ready to trust anyone. “A second to whom?!” he demands. Ah, proper grammar. I haz a happy. Trick merely smiles and says that if Dyson is interested, he should meet Trick in his prayer room before dawn.
Back in the cage, Dyson and Kenzi sit on the floor together as their time ticks away. Kenzi says she always imagined she’d go motel pool-side, “Twizzler in one hand, Liam Neeson in the other.” Honestly, they’re terribly cute together in their matching pajamas and vastly contrasting sizes. Dyson pats her arm and squeezes it as he realizes she’s shaking with fear. “Bo’s greatest skill has never been her punctuality,” Kenzi says by way of explanation. “You know the number of times she’s left me alone with a crazy client?” You mean way back when you still took on clients? Dyson makes no comment but keeps rubbing her arm. “But when it—when it matters, she always makes it, she always saves the day. Right?” Her voice trembles over the words. Dyson pauses before answering. “It’s not over yet, Kenz,” he finally says right before the Una Mens posse re-enters the dungeon. Kenzi and Dyson scramble to their feet. The Keeper takes a spot before their cage. “Mortis. Invenio. In unitate,” she recites. “You have failed to abide by the sacred laws of the Fae. If you have any last words to offer, speak them now.” Kenzi breaks down. “Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God,” she chants. “The human has spoken for you then,” The Keeper decides. “I just stole your last words?! Oh my God, I suck!” Kenzi frets.
“Release the human,” Dyson orders, “and I will give you the Hellskór.” The Keeper raises a hand to stop the executioner even as Kenzi tells Dyson he can’t do that. “I couldn’t save Flora,” he reminds her, “but I can save you.” Kenzi smiles sadly. She knows he will every time. The Keeper asks why they should trust Dyson knows where the Hellskór are after all these years. “Because I have one in my possession!” he replies with force. Ah, now there’s the wolf we know and love! “Release Kenzi and I will reveal the location of the second.” Kenzi sighs with weary resignation. “What did you just do?” He saved your pretty skin, kiddo. Again.
Still in Dyson’s memory, BoDyson lays lilies on a mound of dirt that is presumably Flora’s grave. “No one will ever suffer as you did,” she/he vows. “I will hide the shoes, somewhere no one will ever look.” Suddenly Doctor Lauren shimmers into view and calls Bo’s name. But BoDyson thinks she’s Flora and freaks out. “You died! I had to bury you!” Doctor Lauren reassures her/him that the dead woman is not her, “you’re getting confused,” but BoDyson refuses to listen. “Your memories are melding, Bo,” the doc says as she cautiously steps forward. Technically they’re not ,as you’re not a memory but rather have inserted your psyche into Bo’s memory walk of Dyson’s past, but whatever. BoDyson protests again but her/his attention is grabbed as the coach once again passes through the background. She calls after him. “What do you want? What are you trying to tell me?!” Instead of disappearing, this time the coach puts down the bucket and holds up a boxing championship belt. “Dyson’s championship belt,” Bo identifies. “I don’t know what that means!” Kenzi trots into view eating from an ice cream container. “BoBo you have got to try this. Fudgy nuts. Cold. Inyomouth!” She immediately phases out of view again. “Kenzi,” Bo says with a fond, relieved smile. Okay, now her memories are melding. Doctor Lauren has been trying to follow the bouncing ball, but it seems she’s not seeing what Bo sees. “What’s happening?” Bo asks her. “You have to come back,” the doc says portentously. “You have to cut your red string, Bo!”
“You’re gone!” Bo cries. And yet she still keeps showing up. Sigh. “There’s nothing to come back for!” Oh please. Kenzi is nothing? Dyson is nothing? What a stupid ass thing to say. “There’s Dyson,” the doc reminds her. Shocking! “He needs you.” Bo comes back to herself. “Dyson,” she repeats as it all comes back to her. She looks down; his championship belt is now in her hands. “He’s trying to tell me something,” she realizes. Slowly, the answer dawns on her. “I know!” Without another word, she drops the belt to the ground and crouches to untie her Red String of Fate.
Bo sits upright back in Kenzi’s bed with a violent gasp. Beside her, Doctor Lauren slumbers on. Bo gets her bearings and freaks out as she realizes the doc is still in Dyson’s memory. “Oh no. A human can’t be in there. (Doctor) Lauren!” she cries, shaking the doc to no avail. She moves to untie the doc’s Red String of Fate, but her eyes catches on the message in the mirror just in time. DON’T CUT THE RED STRING. “Oh shit. But how do I get you out?” Bo wonders aloud. She pulls the electrodes off her temples just as Doctor Lauren mutters, “don’t cut the string.” Don’t tell Bo what to do, Doctor Lauren! She hates that! Bo scrambles up the bed and kisses the doc. Doctor Lauren rouses and kisses Bo again. “Bo,” she whimpers. “Bo, I cut my string.” She strokes Bo’s face. “Are you still…you? Say something.” Bo smiles wide and proudly. “I know how to save Dyson.” Ha! She laughs with delight. Doctor Lauren chuckles.
In the Una Mens’s dungeon, a monk minion shakes his head at The Keeper. “They have checked your location,” she says to Dyson. “There is no Hellskór.” Which is exactly when Bo makes her entrance, Doctor Lauren trotting at her heels. “Get a map, dweebs. I just got to it first,” Bo says and beelines for Dyson. “Found it encased inside your framed championship belt,” she tells him. “Also, wrapped in your jock strap,” Doctor Lauren sneers, even now still unable to pass on a chance to take a shot at Dyson, especially in Bo’s presence. “It was clean,” Dyson reassures them, unruffled. Lady, if you’ve never hid your cash in a bag of sanitary napkins, then you’ve…never traveled alone abroad. “Stephen Hawking clever,” Kenzi crows with a teasing elbow nudge at Dyson. Bo demands The Keeper set Kenzi and Dyson free, “and you get the stank shoe.”
Standing beside The Keeper, the masked executioner recites the same Latin incantation. “Mortis. Invenio. In unitate.” Everything stops as Bo recognizes the voice. “You,” she accuses, stepping up to confront the executioner as a worried Doctor Lauren looks on. Bo pulls off the mask to reveal that it’s Crater. Dyson finally reacts, snarling and growling as he see Flora’s murderer. Crater glances at The Keeper and the pieces finally fall into place for Bo as she realizes the Una Mens were the ones who back in the day ordered Crater to get the shoes at any cost. “She is…more than we expected,” The Keeper intones. “Well, I’m glad you finally got the memo,” Bo snarks back. “Dyson is not guilty of murder. You are.” Bo turns back to stand in front of Dyson. “Now do you want the shoe or not?”
Bo leads the way into the empty Dal Riata. Everyone is munching down on
gross vegan gluten-free hot dogs. “Hmm. This tastes like warm, squishy love,” Kenzi announces around a mouth full of food. “The hot dog or freedom?” Bo asks archly as she grabs a stool at the bar. They all fall in with Dyson and his long-legged stride ambling up and around the group to take the spot on the far side of Bo. Hale announces that was close, “too close! I usually like close. Close shave. Glenn Close. Close Encounters of the Third Kind.” Heh. Kenzi agrees. Next to Kenzi, the doc dabs at a stain on her shirt. “You know neurosurgery I can do; walking and eating I struggle with.” Cute. Though why again can she do neurosurgery when she’s not a neurosurgeon? Sigh. What-evah. Kenzi doesn’t want to go all cheesy but she’s psyched the gang is all back together again. Hale, Kenzi, and a chewing Doctor Lauren cheer. “Someone, somewhere tied a Red String of Fate around all of us,” Bo says, finishing with a speaking look for Dyson. He alone is less than rah rah ree about their release, but then it has been a big day particularly in his head. Talk about a migraine. Doctor Lauren feels the need to point out that, according to legend, The Red String of Fate is only intended for two people. There’s the door, doc. Please let it hit you on the ass on the way out.
Bo doesn’t care. “It makes me feel as fuzzy inside, like we all belong together. Destiny only takes you so far,” she decides. “Actually staying together takes work.” Again, she’s looking at Dyson when she’s says this last and they share another long, intimate speaking look. Doctor Lauren watches them, a little sad, but mostly resigned, as Hale tells Kenzi she looked damn cute in the monk’s robe. “Friar Tuck fetish,” Kenzi teases. “Hot!” She takes too big a bite of her hot dog. “Oh, okay,” Hale stutters. “Chew. Swallow.” Ha.
Happy to be home, Bo spins around on the stool as though taking delight in recognizing her surroundings for what they are. She stops with her back to the bar and leans toward Dyson. “You’re quiet,” she notes. “That was intimate,” he points out. “You…in me for once,” he teases lightly. “Such a way with words,” Bo teases back and they laugh together. Yeah, because “boobs” is such a high-level of discourse. Dyson acknowledges that he could feel Bo. “Sent you a message without even knowing it.” There’s more of that hot staring that they do. Doctor Lauren glances over and then quickly away. “I’m glad you got it,” he says softly. “Our mind’s work well together,” Bo replies in the same vein. It’s clear minds aren’t the only parts she means. “Yes they do,” Dyson replies with conviction. Kenzi interrupts the moment by calling down to “D man” and asking what happened after he buried Flora. Even Bo doesn’t know the answer to that.
Past Dyson arrives in Ninja Trick’s pied-à- prière. Trick admits he didn’t think Dyson would come. “I couldn’t save her,” Dyson says, grieving. Trick tries to reassure Dyson that he tried, but that’s not enough for him. “Trying doesn’t bring her back. I’m worthless.” Trick immediately objects. “You’ve just been…lost. And so have I. I don’t want to fight anymore. No more weapons. No more wars. We will start a Fae colony. A better life. A new start. Together.” Dyson doesn’t understand why Trick would choose him of all people. “You’re pure of heart,” Trick answers without hesitation. “A soldier. A shifter.” Dyson is mildly surprised Trick knows what Fae he is. “You served the king, Alieach,” Trick says. “Were betrayed. Broke free from your pack. Went lone wolf.” Dyson shifts in place to hear it all laid out like that. It may have been a thousand years, but those wounds still ache.
“But we cannot do good alone,” Trick insists. He pushes the sleeves of his robe up to reveal his forearms. He’s revealed his knowledge of Dyson’s past, now he offers a like vulnerability in kind. “No matter how powerful we may seem.” Trick clenches his fists so that his veins visibly run with blood. “The Blood King,” Dyson whispers with awe. “But you disappeared long ago; many think you’re dead!” And Trick would prefer to keep it that way. “You’re a hero, Dyson. It is written. It’s your destiny.” Dyson inhales deeply as he makes a decision. “Destiny is nothing without action.” The music swells with a heroic theme as Dyson kneels before Trick and holds up his forearm. “I swear fealty to you, Blood King.” Trick presses his forearm against Dyson’s, accepting his fealty. Ooh, that gave me shivers.
“Well, look how you turned out, saving our tight butts all the time,” Kenzi says back at The Dal. “Trick is the true savior,” Dyson insists, but Bo disagrees. “Not lately.” Dyson lightly chides that Bo isn’t being fair to Trick. “He doesn’t know about the mark on your chest.” The doc immediately reacts. “What mark on your chest?” but Bo declines to explain it, instead dodging the query by insisting it’s beside the point. Dyson watches her very carefully; he knows better than that. He saw how upset it made her. “I’m done tip-toeing around this,” Bo announces with frustration. “He is the Blood King! He is my grandfather. Why hasn’t he helped me figure out why I was taken?” she asks Dyson. “He’s always trying to protect you,” Hale interjects, but Kenzi is quick to call bullshit. “He is scared of something. I know you guys don’t want to admit it, but you’ve seen it, I know you have.”
“The shoes,” Bo says, ticking off things that Trick failed to share with her. “The One Who Wanders. Why didn’t you or Trick tell me about this connection before?” she quietly asks Dyson. Wait, what’s this? Instead of stamping her foot and bitching about how people keep things from her, is Bo actually stopping first to ask the right questions before flying needlessly off the handle? Well damn. That only took four years! I give it an hour.
Dyson admits he didn’t remember any of it until Bo took her memory walk and unlocked it all. “Something blacked it out.” Bo unhappily notes that there seems to be a lot of that going around. “We need to find The Wanderer. Find out why he took me. Why I’m Dark.” Doctor Lauren wants to know how they’re going to get to him. “There’s something he wants,” Bo decides. “Something that he has always wanted.” She turns back to Dyson. “Dyson, where is that second hel-shoe?” He says he gave it to Angel. “The bartender,” Bo clarifies with a bit of a sneer. “And fellow shifter,” Dyson adds with some affection before immediately sobering. “I told her to flee; to keep it hidden. Wait for the true hero,” he adds and inclines his head toward Bo in acknowledgement. “Well, I think we’re all done waiting,” she says. Dyson nods again. Yes we are. “Cause here I come,” Bo drawls. Wow. Ego much?
Next week: “Groundhog Fae”