We're delighted to once again bring you recaps of Lost Girl, now airing its fourth season in the United States. Don't forget to check into all our Lost Girl coverage, but be warned there are discussion posts for later episodes (we've been talking about the show as it airs in Canada) that contain SPOILERS. Thanks, and please weigh in with your comments!
This post contains spoilers for all aired episodes of Lost Girl, including last night’s 4x04, “Turn to Stone."
Bo works out her frustration in the boxing ring with Dyson standing in as punching bag, as per usual. Okay, he holds up the sparring gloves as she vents her restlessness. Bo is pissed, as per usual. “The last thing I remember is being taken at The Dal and then waking up in the woods! I just can’t keep hiding waiting for answers!” Dyson understands her frustration and, yes, fear, but counsels her to lay low until the Una Mens settle down. Bo isn’t fazed by the fact that the Una Mens want her dead and invites them to line up and take a number. “This is bigger than you think, Bo!” Dyson objects, but Bo just growls. Dyson tries again. “The Una Mens power is ancient!” Bo: “Dun dun DUN!” Heh. Sounds familiar. She throws one last right hook and Dyson lowers the sparring gloves. “I’m serious,” he says, ah, seriously. Bo apologizes for being a brat. “But fancy councils? Ye ole rules? It’s the last thing on my mind.” Bo smacks her gloves together and raises them to begin again, but Dyson takes a beat and then, with a knowing look, gently asks if Bo wants to talk about that first thing on her mind. Bo drops her fists, unsure if she wants to go there. No. Yes. Finally she lets the bravado drop. “Any word?” Dyson gently admits that there hasn’t been any new information on Doctor Lauren. “But it’s better that she stays away, safe, with all of these unknowns. Lauren’s smart. She can handle herself.” Ah, we talking about the same Doctor Lauren here?
That appears to be the extent of Bo’s concern for the doc. “Well, since I have to protect myself with all of these ‘unknowns’,” she says, deliberately tearing off her gloves. She sidles into Dyson’s dance space and crowds him back up against the ropes. “I should get a hit…below the belt.” Dirty rock’n’roll cues up as they kiss. It’s “Baby, I Call Hell” by Deep Vally and I’ll let all y’all look up those lyrics on your own because holy hell, that’s one pissed off singer. Though I dig the groove hard. And am apparently from the '70s, which technically, I am.
“Something is different about you,” Dyson muses when they take a breath. “You seem to like it,” Bo points out as she cops a feel of the wolf junk, handily hidden by Dyson’s lowered and perfectly positioned sparring glove. “In a huge way.” Dyson grins, throws off his gloves, grabs Bo up, and that’s the bell on round 1!
Oh, it’s a real pressure cooker in there. Bo leads with her lips and it’s a crafty if not wholly unexpected first salvo! Dyson receives the smack on his mouth and returns the volley with enthusiasm. Bo attacks his shirt and, in an inspired move, strips it from him. Dyson relentlessly backs Bo across the ring and, meeting her ardor with equal ferocity, shoves her against the ropes and, yes, yes ladies and gentlemen, it is a HOT TATTOO ALERT!! The crowd goes wild! It’s been quite a while since we’ve seen this seasoned player display that signature move. Bo appears as happy as the crowd to see it in action again and her fingers claw into the emblem.
Dyson presses his advantage and goes for a frontal assault. Bo is overcome in the moment as Dyson is down! No, wait, Dyson goes down! After a moment, she pulls his head up for several more mouth to mouth exchanges and then spins him around. She has him on the ropes again! She attacks the fastenings of his jeans! I’ve never seen such speed in the ring before! This is a woman who really knows how to go after what she wants! He kisses her as she plays with his…button…turning her head to work on her neck. Bo turns to press flush against the ropes while Dyson slides down behind her to lower her work-out shorts in the second too-obvious-not-to-be-deliberate echo of the sexy cold open to S1E8 Vexed. His shoulders flex and it’s another HOT TATTOO ALERT. This kid is really bringing his A-game to this rematch! Bo violently twists the corner pole between her hands as Dyson passionately embraces her from behind and, wait, let’s check the corner—yes, yes, the refs are allowing the full body contact to stand, too transfixed by the sight of these two masters of the game matched up together again after the long, painful journey it took to get them here. Dyson ducks down to deal her some decidedly below the belt action. She turns on his upswing for aone-two punch of passionate kissing as his jeans go down! He’s got hold of her! He lifts her by the backs of her thighs! He has her against the ropes! Her legs grip his waist tightly as they kiss. He bobs her once and, moaning, Bo braces and balances on the top rope to lower down and make full frontal connection! Holy cow! I think he’s gonna make it! Ladies and gentlemen, the likes of what we are witnessing here today, the passion, the connection, have not been seen in these parts for a very long time! It’s like discovering unicorns romping in a golden meadow of sex!
As she takes her…seat on his…lap, Dyson bears his teeth with the force of his response and we can now, yes…yes…we can now strongly speculate this is the first time these two strong-willed partners have in fact met each other in this particular erotic ring since being reunited earlier this season. Now Bo takes the upper hand and body slams Dyson. He stumbles back to the middle of the ring but she does let up and she does Not. Let. Go. He goes to his knees and Bo goes down with him, planting her feet on the floor behind him for leverage. A wide angle shot reveals a creepy gargoyle watching the action from atop a shelf. Hey! If they’d wanted an audience they would’ve filmed it!
Dyson grabs Bo’s bum to move her exactly where she wants to go and they stare into each other’s eyes as she floats like a butterfly up and down on his…stinger. The gargoyle decides it knows how this ends and wants to leave early and beat the traffic. It exits with an abrupt growling noise, which momentarily halts our two champions in their sexy, sexy bout. Breathing heavily, Bo wonders where the noise came from. Dyson, equally out of breath, admits he doesn’t know. “Old pipes?” he roguishly suggests with a—we think it’s a—just waiting on the rope ref for confirmation—yes, yes, we can now confirm that is it an exceptionally wolfish grin! Bo moans an agreement, kisses him again, and it’s body blow! Body blow! Body blow! Their mutual erotic assault will not stop again until it reaches its inevitable ecstatic conclusion. A simultaneous T—K—O! The count is called! The bell rings! The match ends in a volcanic climax! Somebody get me a damn cigarette!
At Hilton Hovel, Kenzi brushes out TeenTamsin’s hair as she twerks to the music playing on Kenzi’s laptop. “Less hootch, more tootch,” Kenzi advises right before the brush gets snagged. TeenTamsin “ows” through the pain under Kenzi’s coaching. “God,” Kenzi says, gazing down at the brush after she finishes. “Not a single strand.” TeenTamsin has already moved back to her bag of candy. “I’m done twerking out,” she announces and asks if she can have cheezies. With the sigh of a belabored parent, Kenzi agrees. Bo arrives home but is stopped in the doorway by the red flames of Trick’s “Igmis Rim” aka homemade Fae alarm system that Kenzi set up. Hurrying over to rub a path through the red dirt circle, Kenzi apologizes that it’s only supposed to keep out malicious Fae. Anvil! Anvil alert! Bo sends an unfriendly glance toward TeenTamsin and her music, then gives Kenzi a tight smile. She saunters in sans flambé and pauses to distastefully rifle a pile of candy bags. Nothin’ like a pubescent Fae immortal on a sugar high to brighten your day. Kenzi hurries over to hug Bo and sing songs how glad she is that Bo is home. “You smell like sweaty gym dude and I don’t even care!” Heh. Bo rubs Kenzi’s back in comfort even as she points out she’s only been gone an hour. “And not that I mind but how long is this incessant hugging going to last?” Unmoved by their display, Tamsin grimaces as she chews and then shifts the candy bag to her left hand so she can reach back and scratch her shoulder blade with her right. “As long as it takes to forget you were ever gone,” Kenzi tells Bo and looks absolutely miserable at the memory of how it felt to forget Bo existed…and what she did then. TeenTamsin blithely offers Bo a cheesy, but Bo declines as Kenzi releases her. “I’m good.” With a cheeky grin, she starts to dish to Kenzi about her recent sexcapades. “Dyson and I just…” But Kenzi cuts Bo off before she can dish details (dammit!). “Not in front of the B-A-B-Y-V-A-L-K…E?” she finishes uncertainly, looking over at TeenTamsin. “Or is it ‘Y’?” TeenTamsin snottily objects that she’s not a baby. “I’m almost two weeks old, thank you!” So there!
Bo asks “tweener 'tude” (Ha!) whether she can remember who she works for, giving that she’s so old now. “I already told you, I don’t remember. It’s called a previous life, okay? So far, all I know is that I’m Dark.” TeenTamsin’s allegiance makes Bo think she knows more than she’s owning up to, which twerks Kenzi’s Mama Bear feelings. “Kids this age,” she clichés even going so far as to pat TeenTamsin’s head, which makes her giggle and shrug. “What are ya gonna do?” Take away the candy supply for starters and go from there. Kenzi checks her phone and is not happy by what she doesn’t find there. Fed up, she announces they need to “screw clubhouse arrest” and go out but Bo wonders what they’ll do with “cheesy breath.” I’m distracted trying to figure out if that’s a screen saver of a bunch of blobby giant jellyfish on the flat screen behind them or adipose babies flying home to the mother ship. “Hey Little T,” Kenzi coos. “Do you want to go out with us, totally boring, not fun, or stay here in safety rim zone and watch the X Files again?” Leading the witness much there, Kenz? TeenTamsin is down with the X Files re-watch and Bo and Kenzi are off to The Dal Riata.
The dead Dal Riata actually as a gloomier place could not be found at the mo. Or as Bo puts it, “It’s like occupied France around here. What’s with the cry tunes?” Kenzi points out that the Una Mens pretty much put the kibosh on fun times in Faeville. Bo snits she wanted a “real” night out. “Well, sorry Miss Spring Breaker,” Kenzi shoots back, “I promised Dyson I’d take you someplace safe.” Bo reminds Kenzi that a cloud of black smoke kidnapped her from that same “safe” place she’s brought Bo back to now. In a whisper, Kenzi asks if they know anything yet about this “Wanderer guy” but Bo doesn’t feel like talking about it. “I wanna dance.” Kenzi can’t believe Bo means it. “Right here? In Sadville?” Bo merely switches out the cry tunes for her playlist (love the gramophone-styled digital player!) and cues up “Cruise Low” by Thunderheist, which is somewhat of a remix of “I Know What Boys Like” by The Waitresses. Kenzi smiles after her fondly as Bo sidles through the bar and spreads her succutouch liberally amongst the morbid peoples, some of whom immediately get up and start to take off their clothes. As you do. Where is Trick again? “Now that is more like it,” Bo approves. And let me say here having a baby has been very good to Anna Silk’s cleavage, especially in that halter top into which she’s strapped herself. Wow. Zer. “BoBo returns,” Kenzi declares as she turns back to her drink, but her smile turns to worry as she realizes what that means for her current predicament. She checks Bo over her shoulder as the man and woman Bo juiced into disrobing now sandwich her between them. “With bonus features,” Kenzi adds wryly.
She tosses back her drink and as she does, her eye is caught by someone or thing on the other side of the room. The camera pans through the revived Dal Riata and over to the far end of the bar to show Massimo the Druid bopping along with the music. He finishes his drink and bounces his way to the exit, bypassing a shocked Kenzi along the way. She catches him up and asks if he brought it, but Massimo obnoxiously claims he’s in a rush. “What?” Kenzi challenges. “Flip flop sample sale? I’m done with the kitty toys; it’s Tonka truck time!” Massimo sneers that Kenzi can’t even dream of affording permanent powers when she can’t even pay for what he’s already supplied. Kenzi changes tactics and coos that he’ll get paid as soon as her powers stop fading, and she pats his cheek for added measure. Massimo smiles, but he’s got her number and Kenzi is the only one who doesn’t know it yet.
TeenTamsin enters Hilton Hovel’s common room calling for Bo and Kenzi and then for Mulder and Scully. Cute. Two ski-masked men enter behind her, so I guess Kenzi forgot to reset the Fae alarm. That or they aren’t Fae in the first place. TeenTamsin whirls around to face them, her back to the camera. “Oh my God, what are you doing here?” Before the robbers can answer, there’s a cracking sound and a wind picks up to blow TeenTamsin’s hair around her face. Fear fills the two men’s eyes, visible above the edge of their masks. They look at one another and then flee. TeenTamsin faces the camera as her eyes fade back from the Valkyrie skeleton face. She cries out and convulses in pain, reaching for her back and going down to the floor as her spine cracks.
Back at The Dal, Bo’s playlist has shifted to The Spice Girls and she and Kenzi and the entire bar are whooping up about how you can be her lover. It’s adorable to see Bo and Kenzi wander around the room singing along together with the song, back in sync and having a grand time. Bo is randomly feeling people up who are totally under the control of her power, which she used to force them to have a good time against their will because she wanted to have a dance party and nobody was cooperating as they’re all in deathly fear of their lives from the totally capricious, all powerful Fae boogie men, the Una Mens. But hey, party on! A growl sounds under the remix and—oh, so that’s where that gargoyle got to. Dude’s got a thing for the ceiling fan seats. Kenzi and Bo boogie back to the actual bar and, caught up in the moment, Kenzi displays her sparkly hands. “Surprise!” she says shakily as Bo stops in her steps and stares. “Are you so mad?” But Bo is delighted. “Actually that was frickin’ incredible!” Kenzi squeals and Bo throws her arms around her bestie. Aw. And also what the hell is the matter with you?
Much later, they’re still in high spirits and singing as they enter the darkened Hilton Hovel carrying a bunch of takeaway boxes. “It feels so good to be bad,” Bo crows as they make their way into the empty common room. Empty? “Kenzi, we’ve been robbed!” Kenzi immediately thinks about TeenTamsin. They run upstairs to Kenzi’s bedroom where they find a naked and not so teen Tamsin on Kenzi’s bed. At least, not physically. “I think I grew again,” she says, sheepish. Rachel Skarsten in da house! Holla!
The next morning, Bo sits in the interrogation room with Dyson perched on the table beside her and Tamsin seated on the other side. Bo rages over the fact that strangers were in her and Kenzi’s home. “Strangers with great taste in thrift store furniture.” You stole that furniture from a thrift store? Honey, you need to trade up your larceny targets. Lovely irony how Bo’s so upset over having her things taken, most of which she and Kenzi stole in the first place. Wisely choosing not to comment on that irony, Dyson is more amused than concerned over Bo’s pique. “Would you like me to get you something? A coffee or a chair to break?” he teases. Bo threatens to break whoever did it. By the way, I love this tank corset top she’s wearing. It reminds me of that Dyson’s better detailed vests. And it’s purple! Yay!
“We had a child in the home,” Bo points out as an afterthought to the furniture grab. A child you were only too happy to abandon to the Xbox and The X Files when you wanted to go out dancing, but whatever. Bo gestures toward Tamsin who’s quietly inhaling donuts but looks up when Dyson and Bo silently contemplate her changed physical status. “Sort of,” Bo adds. She wonders if this could be the Una Mens at work but Dyson claims they aren’t thieves. “Material possessions don’t interest them.” He wonders if it could be just an average B&E. “If that rim was up, humans could still enter,” he points out. “Fae or not, no one comes into my house and takes what’s mine,” Bo declares. Dyson suggests in THAT VOICE that if Bo wants to unwind later they could go…he tapers off before the punch line as Bo shoots Tamsin a sidelong speaking look. “Go shopping,” Bo suggests euphemistically. Dyson agrees. Bo smiles and strokes his hand. “Well, if you’re good, you can go in all the stores.” Confused, Tamsin looks between them and…chews. “Well, if you’re good, I’ll max out all your credit cards,” Dyson returns. “Twice.” Oh honey, you can do better than that. At least three or four times for the lady. Apply that supernatural endurance! Go for the gold in the SuccuGames!
Bo…giggles. I honestly don’t know what else to call it. They grin at each other as their fingers dance together. “Can I come?” Tamsin asks innocently, oblivious to the undercurrents. Ha! Awkward! Desire officially doused for the moment, Bo snaps her hand back and jumps up claiming to have a suspicious lead to track. Dyson offers to help as she opens the back door (not a euphemism!) and Bo insists he already is and she’ll explain when she gets back from the facilities. “Bo, the bathroom is…the other way,” Dyson calls, trailing off as he realizes he’s been played. Wide-eyed, Tamsin licks sugar from her fingers. Dyson looks at her with resignation. “And I’m babysitting.” Heh. That was cute. Tamsin looks at the folder that’s been on the table this whole while and puts her finger on the circled mug shot on a MOST WANTED sheet that include Kenzi’s photo at the top. Oh, that’s what was on Dyson’s clipboard in the season premiere. “Who’s that girl?” she asks.
Dyson looks down at the image of Doctor Lauren. “Someone who’s lost,” he says, humor gone. “And you and I need to find her.”
Crystal wakes with a start to find herself handcuff to a pipe in the filthy back room of a warehouse. Doctor Lauren is already awake, sans red wig to boot, Praise Faesus, and is checking the door as her cuffs are attached to a long lead chain on a belt. Both women are filthy and looking very much the worse for wear. “This is all my fault,” Crystal says as she struggles. Yes dear, it is. The doc faces her with a very unfriendly, exasperated expression. “I believed them,” Crystal adds quickly. “They told me they wouldn’t hurt you.” The doc processes. “Who are ‘they’?” A disembodied voice comes over the speaker before Crystal can answer. “Hello. Long time no see, Lauren. Or should I call you ‘Karen’?” Okay, I dunno what’s going on, but that is so Trick’s voice.
Outside the cop shop (presumably), Kenzi is walking fast, crouched over her phone as she rounds the back of a random, absolutely has no meaning whatsoever, van. “Come on, Massimo,” she bitches. “I’ve got wallets to lift, shoes to covet.” Out of nowhere, two men suddenly shove a bag over her head and zip cuff her wrists. “Hey! Where is my usual SUV and venti-mocha-iced latte?” Kenzi protests. As they hustle Kenzi to the nondescript, totally unsuspicious van that no one noticed at all, Thug One mumbles that there’s no VIP treatment forcustomers who don’t pay Massimo. “He’s sending a message.” A third thug meets them at the back of the van and they shove Kenzi into it, but does that stop her? Hells no! “Well, you, you give him a message that he can take his zip tie and put it around his tiny druid… Kenzi’s muffled tirade continues over the sounds of Thug One, Two, and Three getting the holy shit kicked outta them. “Hello?!” Kenzi shouts, pounding on the window. “What’s happening?!”
“Three-nothing, Bo,” Bo crows as she opens the van and pulls Kenzi out. “Take our things but you will not take my Kenzi.” Wait, this was Bo’s suspicious lead? Follow Kenzi and wait for someone to jump her? Kenzi hyperventilates as Bo pulls off her hood and asks how Bo found her. “Ah, followed you just in time, sketch bag.” Kenzi profusely thanks Bo for saving her. Bo wants to know since when does Kenzi fly solo? “I’m back. We’re back. Baby got back. Together like.” Kenzi admits that she knows these guys and actually called them. Bo: “What, you’re into getting zip-tied now?” Heh. Kenzi clarifies that she knows who robbed them but that it’s her problem. Bo grabs her arms and reminds Kenzi that it’s their problem. “So let’s get our shit back.” She goes to check the thug’s pockets and that’s the first full-length look we get at her top and holy crap, what the HELL is that on her hips? Are those…lace wings? Are you frickin’ kidding me? It’s like urban fantasy biker chic got assaulted by a mob of retro “Like a Virgin” fans wielding glue guns. Gag me with an entire gear box. Way to ruin a great top there, wardrobe people. Bo asks for the name of the guy with whom Kenzi’s got tangled up. “Massimo,” Kenzi supplies. Bo is shocked. “Druid Massimo?” Surprised as well, Kenzi asks if Bo knows him. “Yeah. And he sucks.”
Bo and Kenzi enters Massimo’s…lair? Pad? Time share? The druid is chopping brocoleeeeeee. He’s chopping brocoleeee. Okay, fine, but it does look like some kind of stalk. Bo ticks off the high points of his amenities. “Lava. Cages. Creepy Druid.” Massimo mocks Bo for having tough times in parts unknown. “Not that you would remember.” Bo sneers that his rune glass potion fell flat with her. Hey, they’re actually addressing a plot hole from the season three finale! Plot hole fix drink! Massimo flavors his bubbling cauldron and asserts that the potion didn’t fail “thanks to a seal from your kiss,” he says, acknowledging Kenzi. She wants to know what he and Bo are talking about. “I like to know when I’m sealing something.” Bo explains Massimo gave Tamsin a potion to kill her. “Actually, to mark you,” Massimo corrects. It seems the potion was only meant to allow Bo “to transcend planes to be collected. Insurance policy in case Tamsin didn’t pan out.” He offers insincere regret over Tamsin’s “death.” The mirrored walls behind him are opaque and seem to house a greenhouse of sorts, presumably to supply his potions.
Bo agrees Tamsin’s “death” is tragic and then demands to know who took her, i.e. Bo. Massimo claims not to know that he was hired only to deliver the goods. “There must be something I can tell you…nah, there’s nothing,” he deadpans. Kenzi snarls and makes claws of her hands as though she’d rip out his throat if she thought she could get away with it. Bo lays out the terms of how Massimo is going to proceed with them. “You’re going to give us our stuff and then you’re going to leave Kenzi alone. She won’t be requiring your services any longer.” Unperturbed, Massimo tests the flavor of his brew and then calmly points out that this arrangement won’t settle Kenzi’s debt. “How ‘bout a knee to your Euro sack?” Bo threatens. Kenzi quickly intervenes and suggests they handle the sitch like adults, which is shocking enough alone. “Fae, druid, human. Coming together. Peace on Earth. We are the World. Kinda-a stuff.” Massimo looks between the two women and then raises his ladle and suggests a proposal. “Here comes the threesome request,” Bo sneers. Anvil! Anvil alert! Instead, Massimo suggests they bank the trio idea until next time” and instead asks for Bo and Kenzi to retrieve the rare JapaneseSalsola Soda Herb that happens to be hanging amongst the…artwork Doctor Lauren has on the wall at her flat. He would know, given he was just there. Though why again didn’t he just take it then? “You want me to go to (Doctor) Lauren’s?” Bo clarifies. “Do you know her?” Massimo snarks. Ha! He tells Kenzi if she gets the herb then they’re even. Kenzi spies her favorite Samurai sword “Geraldine!” and announces that she’s taking it back. Bo asks Massimo what he means to do about their stuff. He promises they’ll get back what he didn’t burn. “I did you a favor, trust me.
Those accents tables? Ugh.” Heh. Bo agrees to get his herb. “But if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain?” She leans toward his ear and her smile is downright chilling. “I’ll kill you.” What’s that again now? Bo is outright threatening to kill someone? That’s…different. She stalks away while Kenzi tells Massimo he can keep her hairbrush. “’Cause that’s not creepy at all!” The ladies exit and Massimo stares after them, smugly and amused.
Slowly, Doctor Lauren’s long fingers glide up the light switch box to fondle the small camera lens embedded in its corner and concludes they’re being watched. “You found me,” she says to the watcher. “Now what?” Crystal weakly wonders what’s behind Tarp #1 and the doc shuffles a few steps toward the indicated pile. “They want us to look,” she says dully. “To play their little game. I’m done playing,” she announces to the camera but there is no reply.
“I slept with you,” Crystal says apropos of nothing. “Oh, Crystal,” Doctor Lauren chides, exasperated, but Crystal insists on continuing. “Because they made me. To keep you close.” The doc silently scoffs. And I fell for it. Crystal continues, “But then, after I did, I-I don’t know.” She smiles at the doc and shrugs. “It was different, you know? It was…more.” The doc rolls her eyes and then laughs mirthlessly. Yeah, she knows.
“Ah…spy banged,” she says with bitter understanding. Crystal wonders if she missed something and with a self-deprecating smile, Doctor Lauren admits she’s been here before. “In your shoes, actually.” She nods as her smile fades and in a few contemplative moments, finally comes to terms with the truth of what she did to Bo way back when in season one. You can almost see the exact minute when she thinks oh my God, I did that to Bo. But in this acceptance of her own past actions, she finds understanding and I think the beginning of forgiveness for Crystal, a human, caught up in things she can’t fully understand. Crystal is Doctor Lauren three years ago and the doc gets it as no one else could, which allows her now to pity and sympathize with the woman and the whys and wherefores of what Crystal did. And that is all communicated in a few short moments of absolutely brilliant nonverbal work by Zoie Palmer. Wow. The U.S. airing cut out a key line and some stellar work there from Zoie Palmer. That’s a damn shame.
’s annoyance with Crystal ebbs. She slowly shuffles over to where Crystal is bound and wearily leans against the wall next to her pipe. “I have a brother,” she says, equally apropos of nothing. “My only sibling. We were inseparable. Together, we were gonna change the world.” Crystal murmurs that it sounds nice and the doc agrees that it was, “till it wasn’t anymore. “Our version of changing the world turned into blowing up pipe lines with pipe bombs.” Crystal gapes at her and Doctor Lauren takes a deep breath. “Eleven people died,” she confesses. “Oh, you’re a terrorist,” Crystal replies with shock. “Nobody was supposed to be there,” the doc protests crying. “Not a day goes by that I don’t hate myself for what happened.” Crystal insists it’s wasn’t the doc’s fault. Ah, it kinda was, yeah. Or at least, that’s how the law sees it. Pesky thing. “I made the explosives and then I trusted my brother with them,” Doctor Lauren immediately counters. Crystal asks where the doc’s brother is now, but she ignores the question. “The point is, is that Karen ran and I have been running ever since.”
Exhausted, unburdened, Doctor Lauren laughs, full of self-mockery. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this,” she admits. “I never even told Bo.” The up-till-now silent captor has heard enough. “Moving story,”
Trick he sneers, unimpressed. “Now look under the tarp!” Doctor Lauren glances over to the tarp in question. “I guess I’m not done playing games just yet.” She clang shuffles over to the tarp and reveals a sterilized mini lab from which she withdraws a vial of blood. “An elder needs your diagnosis within the hour or Crystals dies!” Trick the disembodied voice instructs. “This isn’t about eco-terrorism,” the doc concludes with bewildered anger. “This is Light Fae bullshit!”
At the doc’s flat, Bo watches Kenzi flip through a book of herbs to find the one they’re looking for in Doctor Lauren’s…bush. Hey, I didn’t decorate the place! Don’t hate the recapper. Bo claims to be trying to understand why Kenzi would ever go to that “nut bag.” I’m trying to understand why anyone would massacre that terrific top with those ridiculous lace hip waders. Kenzi says that’s exactly why she went to Massimo. “I was tired of everyone telling me to go. I don’t want to go anywhere; I want to fight with you.” Bo points out that Kenzi always does fight with her and always has. Kenzi checks out a nearby plant and then grabs a conveniently placed step stool as she explains she thought it’d be easy, just go see Massimo, make a deal, and become Fae. “But it turned out to be temporary…and a little on the chintzy side.” Bo wonders how much it cost. “One more herb, baby,” Kenzi tosses off. Kenzi plops the step stool in front of the floor-to-ceiling wall bush and snarks about how all the plants look identical. “Where’s (Doctor) Lauren when you need her?” Bo stares off into space and makes no comment. “Ex-nostalgia attack?” Kenzi asks, calling Bo back to the present. Bo admits that she still can’t wrap her brain around the whole Taft thing. “(Doctor) Lauren is smart. Maybe she wasn’t tricked? Maybe she wanted to work for him, you know? Get something from him.” Kenzi: “Like a pension?” Ha! That amused me enough, I’m not even going to go off on the whole “tricked” fallacy and simply say huzzah, show, for directly addressing another dangling plot line from season three by updating Bo on Doctor Lauren’s betrayal.
Bo admits she doesn’t know what the doc could’ve wanted from Taft. “Apparently the foundation of our entire relationship was based on not knowing.” Finally! First Doctor Lauren comes to terms with having spybanged Bo and now Bo admits she and the doc had zero true foundation to their relationship from the start? Show, it’s like you’re checking stuff off my Christmas list one by one! Kenzi feels obligated for Bo’s sake to posit that for what it’s worth, she thinks Doctor Lauren is “one of the good ones.” Bo frowns. “I thought you were always on Dyson.” This phrasing trips Kenzi up but good. “On? What on? What do you mean…on?” she stutters. Bo ambles across the living area. “Oh you know. Team Wolf,” she mocks. Curious, Bo picks up the folder on “Karen” that Evony threw away in the last episode. “It’s true,” Bo says, not really all that shocked as she reads the file. “Her name is not (Doctor) Lauren. It’s Karen. Karen Beattie.” On the step stool by this point and up to her shoulder in Doctor Lauren’s bush, Kenzi admits that “Karen Beattie” isn’t exactly the sexiest moniker. “Kinda get why she’d might’ve wanted to change it.” Bo rightly decides that she never even knew “Lauren” but Kenzi is quick to counter that Bo knows better than that. “No,” Bo protests, tossing the file aside and heading for the kitchen to pop the cork on an opened bottle of wine that’s been sitting there for more than a month. Yeesh, the tannins alone! “I don’t even know her name! And now she’s probably changed it again! Started a new, better life. Somewhere safe. Away from me.” Stop teasing, show.
Kenzi pauses, unsure what to say next to encourage Bo when she’s finding it hard to disagree with what she’s saying. She asks if Bo’s okay. “Oh yeah. Just hanging out in my ex’s apartment finding weird stuff. I’m fine.” Heh. “Ex” again. Hallelujah. She takes a swig of the wine and then slams the bottle down. “What is it that makes everyone in my life lie to me? Except for you,” she corrects to Kenzi, “that’s why I love you.” This is too much for Kenzi who rolls her eyes as she realizes it’s past time to come all the way clean to Bo, which is exactly when she realizes this *is* the herb that she’s looking for. “Also why I love you!” Bo declares. She struts over as Kenzi descends the ladder, but as they go to leave, they’re stopped by a ring of blue flame emitting from the black dust that’s been poured across the doorway. Bo asks Kenzi if she rimmed the door, but she didn’t. Bo turns to stalk back across the room to the back French doors as Kenzi puts two and Fae together. “Ignis Rim Converterant. Trick mentioned this. Instead of keeping Fae out it locks them in. Massimo must have seen ours.” Bo opens the French doors and blue flame flares. “And he’s just graduated from a-hole to douche.” Huh. I would’ve thought “asshole” worse than “douche.” Learn something knew from Lost Girl every day. Kenzi offers to try crossing it. “Warning: my poly-blend jacket is highly flammable.” Bo pats her shoulder with confidence. “Drop and roll, baby. Drop and roll.” Kenzi sways in place and takes a few deep breaths then lunges for the doorway, but no joy. Blue flame ignites, singeing her palms, and Kenzi leaps as she howls in pain. “Oh, that stings like a mother!” Bo wonders what sick game Massimo is playing while Kenzi shakes her hands and moans.
Back at the cop shop, Tamsin hums as she highlights a call sheet with multi-colored markers. Dyson enters the interrogation room loaded down with a bag of food. “Dyson guess what?! I found (Doctor) Lauren’s voice mail and the club house number eight times! Are you impressed? Yeah you are!” Hee. Dyson puts the bag on the table and leans over Tamsin’s shoulder to study the call sheet never noticing when she fumbles the gun from his hip holster. Funny. He usually wears a sexy shoulder holster. “This last number was called just two days ago,” he muses. “I’m gonna pull the records from all the businesses and pay phones along that highway. Get ready for more highlighting!” Heh. It’s like he’s her camp counselor.
Tamsin plays with the gun and notes that it’s heavy. “Was I a good cop?” she asks, aiming the gun at Dyson. He clues in and snatches it from her by the barrel. “You were tough,” he admits as he re-holsters, “and on a bad day, you could be a real…monster.” He was totally going to say bitch there. Tamsin whines that he thinks she’s hideous. “Even the robbers ran away when they saw my face.” Dyson scrambles to correct the sitch. “I meant monster in a good way, okay?” Heh. Tamsin screams that doesn’t even make sense and Dyson hastily shushes her glancing over his shoulder to see if anyone from the squad room heard her. Satisfied they’re still unnoticed—I guess nobody has to interview a suspect or witness today—Dyson goes back to debagging the Chinese food. “Is Bo your girlfriend?” Tamsin asks in a whisper. Dyson admits that no, she is not. “But do you want her to be?” she asks again, eager and smiling. Dyson pauses then says that he did. “But then a lady in a tree took my love away and by the time I got it back, Bo had a girlfriend.” One with whom she has now broken up, by the way. Twice. Tamsin sighs sadly and leans her head against his arm. “You forgot to start with ‘Once Upon A Time,” she chides. Wrong show, sweetie. Low on patience, Dyson rolls his eyes. Are you kidding me? “Once upon a time we never found the right time. The end.” He bumps her head back up.
But Tamsin is far from done. “What does love feel like?” she asks. Dyson rubs his forehead with weary exasperation. “Are we really doing this?” She gives him a look—please? Aw, it’s so sweet! He’s on Daddy Duty! Why is the sky blue, Dyson? But this Dyson has come a long way, baby. He gives it a shot and for a moment, speaks from the heart. “When you feel it you’ll know it and when it’s gone you’ll never want to lose it again,” he says gently. That’s about all he can manage though. Grumpy now that she’s forced him into a walk down Freaking Norn Lane, he snaps at Tamsin to talk to Bo and Kenzi about “this stuff. It’s really not my bag.” Tamsin grimaces that she can’t talk to Bo since Bo hates her because she’s Dark. “Well, everyone makes a choice,” Dyson tosses off, unconcerned, as he unloads the food containers. Tamsin says that’s not really true in her case. “It was the me before me,” she says with an equal lack of care as she goes back to highlighting. Interesting that the allegiance Tamsin chooses in a previous life applies to all her lives. “Well, maybe someday you’ll get to make a better choice,” Dyson suggests, half-heartedly. “Maybe not. It’s not my problem.” Tamsin frowns. “Why do you have to be so mean?!” Dyson: “Why do you have to have so many questions?!” Ha! Why do you have to be so freaking adorable? Shit, I said that out loud again, didn’t I? Eh, blame the long hiatus. I’m making up for lost time.
At Doctor Lauren’s flat, Kenzi bitches about how Massimo Kenzi-proofed the doorways knowing that her fake Fae glamour would keep her from being able to cross the rim dust. “How do we make you stop sparking?” Bo asks. Kenzi grunts that it just kind of runs out, “like sunscreen. Re-apply after swimming!” she jokes. But that’s given Bo an idea. Kenzi offers to take a shower, “I just really don’t want to get my hair wet; it’s such an ordeal!” Bo commiserates as she ambles over to the kitchen. “You know what though, it’s been like a week I probably should wash it,” Kenzi natters on. Oh to have hair so thick I only need wash it once a week. “Is (Doctor) Lauren’s conditioner, like, the worst?!” she asks. “It’s the worst,” Bo agrees sincerely as she fills an ice bucket with water. Kenzi hardly takes a breath. “Does it even contain humectants? I mean, God knows what that woman is putting in her hair. She cannot be trusted. I don’t know about you but I need a little peach in my shampoo, I mean AH!” she gasps as Bo pours the bucket of cold water over Kenzi’s head where she’s sitting on Doctor Lauren’s antique arm chair. HA! “Refreshing,” she snarks. Bo helps her to her feet. “Attagirl,” she chirps as she herds Kenzi to the door. “Now if the only one who can remove a rim is the one who set it…” Kenzi corrects that they have to scramble it. “One Pakua Mirror and ogre eye required. Am I the new Trick?” she crows, preening while she brushes wet hair from her face. Bo: “Can you get all that stuff?” Kenzi: “Have you met me? Okay? I’m gonna save your ass. Forget Trick; I’m the new Bo.” You sure are, honey. Go get ‘em.
Alone, Bo goes back to riffling Doctor Lauren’s drawers (not like that!). She pauses then slowly draws out a long white jeweler’s box wrapped in a ribbon with a note attached. Bo reads the message aloud. “For giving me the freedom to love. And I do.” Bo opens the box and extracts a silver necklace. Visibly moved, she cradles the necklace against her heart. Because all the “I never even knew her real name” epiphanies about her relationship with Doctor Lauren fail in the light of a shiny, shiny new trinket. Is Bo a magpie now?
So, if Doctor Lauren meant the trinket for Bo, and as there’s no name on the envelope or the note itself, it could just have easily been bought for NotComaNadia and the doc only never had the chance to give it to her before Bo, you know, knifed NotComaNadia to death. But assuming it was, in fact, meant for Bo that would mean what? That Doctor Lauren bought her a necklace before breaking up with Bo and abandoning her life for Taft’s promises? Makes that a real treasure now, doesn’t it? Also, how is it that in the mad search for clues after Doctor Lauren’s “disappearance” in season three, neither Bo nor Tamsin nor Dyson discovered said trinket that was not-even-remotely hidden, but right there on the top of things in one of the doc’s main desk drawers? Eh, whatever. Logic hole drink!
All the lights go out abruptly and that damned gargoyle is suddenly right there on Doctor Lauren’s kitchen counter. The thing’s got better mileage than a Prius. Don’t blink! Startled, Bo looks around for someone or thing to punch, but when she glances at the counter, the gargoyle is gone. Wow, that full frontal silhouette on the wall behind her is gorgeous. I should probably take advanced over/unders on whether it’ll make it past the U.S. censors. [Edited to add: it did.] Bo emerges from behind the desk and cautiously advances into the living area. The lights flicker again. “Wanderer?” she asks with trepidation, probably afraid she’s about to get snatched again. I’m sorry. I still can’t get past the hip waders on that top. Hideous. She slowly moves back through the room toward the door. In a nice touch, the step stool is still where Kenzi left it. “If you think that I am going to let you take me again, you are messing with the wrong succubus,” Bo warns. Anna Silk is doing incredible things with her face here to communicate how truly terrified Bo is, even as she challenges The Wanderer.
The lights flicker again. Gasping, Bo whirls around and knocks a vase to the floor. In the dark, the gargoyle appears behind her and growls. The lights come back on, but dimmer this time. Breathing hard, tears brimming, Bo makes her way back again past the kitchen. The lights flicker repeatedly and this time, when they settle, Bo sees the gargoyle, only now there’s blood on its mouth. When it sees Bo looking, it smiles. Creeeeeeepy. Bo looks down and there’s now a huge, bruised bite across her inner wrist. “I’m here! I’m here! I’m here!” Kenzi calls as she returns. She crouches in the doorway holding a roundish Russell Stover candy tray, which I guess is the Pakua Mirror, on which sits a huge disembodied ogre eye. “Ignis adflicto affilgo,” she mutters and slams her hand down on the eye. “I did it! Yes!” she crows. Bo has barely noticed her return, arm held out before her, still stunned by the gargoyle reveal. Kenzi runs to her side and asks what happened. “Did you see it?” Bo asks a little dazed.
Cut to the cop shop where Tamsin slowly removes her jacket as she paces. There’s blood on the back of her shirt at identical points on her shoulder blades. She rolls her shoulders as though with an itch she can’t reach to scratch. Frightened, she peers at her back in the darkened two-way mirror. “What’s happening to me?”
At the doc’s flat, Kenzi has made use of their locale and bandaged Bo’s wrist with stuff from Doctor Lauren’s home stock. Kenzi says it’s all her fault but Bo is quick to disagree. “How could you have known what he kept in that cage?” Guess she thinks the gargoyle came courtesy of Massimo. Oh-kay. Kenzi tries to get Bo to listen to her but Bo goes on that she’s going to take care of all this. “I owe him,” Kenzi says baldly. “Massimo. A lot. ‘Kay? And I’ve been stealing to pay him.” She can’t quite look at Bo when she says this bit. “Kenz,” Bo chides. “From Trick,” Kenzi goes on. Bo: “Kenzi!” Kenzi: “And from Hale. I gave him the Twig of Zamora.” Oh no. Oh Kenzi, no. Oh honey, not the Twig. Hale is gonna plotz when he finds out. I wonder if Bruce has any Medieval Fae Verse for when you barter the Twig of Zamora for fake Fae powers. Probably.
“Are you crazy?!” Bo exclaims and then realizes she doesn’t actually know what the Twig of Zamora is. It’s bad, babe. Trust us. But the damn has broken and Kenzi is in full-tilt confession mode. “He keeps taking and taking and it’s still not enough for a permanent power!” She insists that she had to do something. “Claimed Humans are being taken, Bo!” This brings Bo to her feet. “Hey! I would never let anyone take you.” But Kenzi knows better. “Really? Because last I checked you just got back.” Oh, direct hit! Bo is hurt and stunned but she can hardly refute the truth. Kenzi admits that she’s tired of feeling helpless, “not able to…not able.” Bo wants to know who’s been talking such trash to Kenzi. “The Fae! Everybody! Always reminding me that I’m weak and I’m vulnerable and I’m a liability and a thief and I kissed Dyson!”
Bo visibly reacts to that: “What?!” Kenzi says it again, even more miserably. This is the en pointe best friend no no. “I kissed Dyson.” Bo’s face is a picture of I can’t believe you did that. Kenzi faces her and the music. “And the worst part is that I think I only really want to kiss Hale.” Aw. Kinda. Bo swallows hard and her eyes are watery, but she waits for Kenzi to get it all out. “I think I love…like him. Maybe. I don’t even know! I’m just alone.” This breaks Bo from her stupor. “No, you are not alone, Kenzi. You have me.” Kenzi: “I have you; I have all of you. But when it comes down to it, I don’t really have any of you, do I?” Again, Bo can’t argue with the truth. In fact, there’s nothing she can say and Kenzi knows it. “You left me, Bo,” she accuses. Here, for the first time in the scene, somber music cues up. “What if you go again?” Bo scoffs a bit here; it wasn’t her fault she left but she knows Kenzi’s right about the result. “I was alone. I belonged nowhere! As hard as I try I’m just not…one of you.”
That was—incredible. Heart-breaking, but incredible.
Bo tries to work her way through all Kenzi just dumped on her. “Zamora twigs? Stealing from Trick? Kissing Dyson! I don’t even know what is happening anymore!” That’s it?! That’s your only take away from the huge mess of vulnerability, fear, and need your best friend just opened up and laid on you with great difficulty? Jeez woman. What is going on with you? Did The Wanderer take your heart along with your memory? Kenzi tries to soothe her but Bo has her righteous indignation up and running. “And of all of the things that I am in the dark about, I never thought it would be you.” Oh, just step off, bitch. Kenzi nearly loses it right completely here. Fortunately, Bo’s mobile rings, which breaks up the misery for a moment. “We’re not done,” Bo promises as she reaches for the phone. She reads the display and answers on speaker phone with a tight, “hello Dyson,” and a snide look for Kenzi.
Cut to the cop shop where Dyson prowls the interrogation room, alone. “Is Tamsin with you?” he asks Bo. Bo says pointedly she’s been stuck at Doctor Lauren’s “with Kenzi.” She asks what happened. “I don’t know,” Dyson says, “I guess I snapped at her. She took off.” This sets Kenzi off in Mama Bear mode. “She’s just a baby! She doesn’t even know how to twerk yet!” she objects. “Yeah, well, she also suddenly looks like my old partner who used to bang hydras over lunch,” Dyson shoots back. HA! “I’m coming to you,” he adds and disconnects. Bo mulls over the convo for a mo and then asks Kenzi what else she saw of theirs at Massimo’s. “Geraldine. My hairbrush. Throw pillows.” Bo reminds Kenzi she used her brush on Tamsin and wonders if Massimo saw Tamsin’s hair in it. “No. Girl does not shed a single lock,” Kenzi insists.
Bo counters that Massimo is a druid, “he could’ve detected her oils. Plus his robbers saw a blonde girl.” Kenzi realizes with horror that Massimo’s known Tamsin is alive all this while. “Yeah, and apparently Valkyrie hair is mad valuable,” Bo adds. Kenzi takes it a step further and concludes Massimo never wanted them dead. “He wanted us distracted,” Bo decides, nicely following the bouncing ball, “so he could go after what he really wants.” Kenzi: “Who he really wants.” Bo exhales hard and tells Kenzi she’s going after Massimo alone. Kenzi predictably protests. “Wait here for Dyson,” Bo orders over her shoulder and then stops to turn back and hit Kenzi where it hurts. “You guys are close, right?” she snarks meanly. Bitch. She glares at Kenzi who is right back to miserable again and then exits leaving the best friend she just promised never to abandon vulnerable and alone. Again.
There’s a knock at Hilton Hovel’s front door. Tamsin gingerly opens the door of Hilton Hovel to reveal Massimo who greets her warmly. “How do you know my name?” she asks, wary. Massimo glances around as he ambles in. He notes that of course Tamsin doesn’t remember him. “But in another life, we were super close.” He pulls up a picture of them together on his phone as proof. “Kenzi and Bo called me, wanted me to come pick you up.” This relieves Tamsin: “You know them?” Massimo mocks that they’re all “best friends forever!” Tamsin giggles and then, more somber, asks if Massimo is there to help her. “It’s because I’m hideous,” she moans, crossing her arms in defense. Massimo clucks his tongue and lifts up her downcast face by the chin. “You’re perfect,” he declares. Tamsin, by the way, is wearing an adorable elephant pendant, which is deliciously meta as Rachel Skarsten loves elephants.
Cut to Massimo’s Greenhouse where he is binding Tamsin to a chair with industrial black tape. When she asks why, he says it’s to protect everyone from when she becomes her true self. “Ow. My true self?” she asks, confused. “Uh huh. A monster,” Massimo confirms as he tears off the tape. Tamsin worries that she’ll be in trouble then. “Oh honey, you are trouble,” Massimo drawls. “You’ve been playing house with the Ambiguously Fae Duo.” HAHA! That might be the best line in this show, evah. He goes on that Bo’s unaligned and Kenzi’s a temp, “but you? You are the real deal,” he says, as he sharpens a straight razor not at all creepily. Tamsin wonders if this is because she’s Dark and Massimo confirms it. “You’re bad. It’s in your blood. And it’s only a matter of time before you become a killer.” He turns back to Tamsin and adds that it’s why she needs him. “I kill people?” Tamsin says with tears in her voice. Massimo tells her she tried to kill Bo, which brings Tamsin’s head up in shock. “I helped you. We’re a team,” Massimo adds. Tamsin concludes this is why Bo hates her. Where did she get this “Bo hates me” crap from anyways? “People like us, we die alone,” Massimo murmurs as he examines the razor blade. Yeah, let’s not have you make up next year’s Christmas cards, ‘kay? While Tamsin watches, he draws his finger up the blade drawing blood. He sidles over to the struggling Tamsin and pulls a strand of her hair out from under the tape. Admiring it with crazy eyes, he crows about how long he’s waited to get it, “and now it’s finally mine. And the only way to obtain a young Valkyrie’s hair is to have it fall out willingly.” Like when she dies. He puts the razor blade to her neck and Tamsin screams…which is just when Bo makes her entrance. Naturally.
“Never give a woman a haircut she doesn’t want,” she drawls. Massimo shows no concern at her arrival. “You need to go, ‘cause I’m over you.” He gets the drop on Bo and grabs her up, putting the razor to her neck. Bo grabs his wrist, but before she can juice him, Tamsin’s voice rings out, low and authoritative. “Stop! Release. Witness.” Bo gapes at Tamsin and there’s a squelching noise as Massimo finally looks at the Valkyrie. Wide-eyed he and Bo freeze in their deadly clinch. “Holy shit,” Massimo murmurs. “That’s new,” Bo agrees.
Tamsin has gone all deadly doubt skull face and—she’s sprouted wings! Now that’s what I call bonus features! “Not new,” she says as the wings flare out behind her. Holy shit, that is cool! “Reborn.” Her head tilts sideways and for a moment, she’s the old Tamsin back in full form. Bo is terrified, but a wild, crazy smile breaks across Massimo’s face.
In their warehouse cell, Doctor Lauren steps up to the camera to obnoxiously address her captors. Behind her, Crystal is still cuffed to the pipe. Oh yeah, they’re in this episode too, aren’t they? Nearly forgot. The doc recites that the Fae elder is suffering from a form of spongiform encephalopathy. Damn, I hate when that happens. “The digestive results show that he’s been feeding off his own kind.” Gonna assume she learned the gender by DNA-testing the blood. “Blood relatives. He’s going…Mad Fae,” she concludes with bitter pleasure. “Course of treatment? Oh, I don’t know, maybe lay off the incest a little bit?” Is it incest to eat your own kind? I thought incest was strictly sex related. Or is the Fae elder eating his own kind, say, by sucking down their sexual chi? Hmm?
“And you didn’t need to kidnap me to figure it out. You just needed to use your brain for once, because this?” she says, holding up the folder before tossing it to the ground. “Is child’s play.” Ooh. Big bad doctor is getting her mad on. To be fair, she’s earned it by now on this one. “So here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna agree to treat your disgusting elder. And you’re gonna release Crystal before she goes into anaphylactic shock from a nickel allergy due to your antiquated handcuffs. Oh and these, by the way?” she says, indicating her own cuffs as she strips them from her wrists, “are child’s play.” You used that already, sweetie. And if there’s so much kid playing going on, why didn’t you just release Crystal from her antiquated cuffs so she doesn’t go into anaphylactic shock from a nickel allergy in the first place?
“Your not-quite-girlfriend, Kenzi?” the doc goes on as she undoes the belt to which her chain is attached with angry, jerking motions. “Taught me how to pick a lock.” She drops the belt to the floor, triumphant. “So, hmm? Did I pass your ridiculous test? Because if I did,” and she’s shouting now, “you can come on out, Hale!” Hale? What the hell, lady? As if Hale, who was raised by a Nonna whom he treasures to this day, would ever do such a thing to you or any other woman. Wow. No wonder you constantly trust the wrong people, Doc. You are the worst judge of character. Her terms are apparently acceptable though as the door to the cell opens without another word. But whoever stands there is very much not the person Doctor Lauren expected to see. “You’re not…Hale,” she says, voice trembling.
Back at Massimo’s Greenhouse, Tamsin is still in full Valkyrie mode. She targets Massimo who has a squirrely “I’m melting!” look on his face. He drops to the ground as Tamsin advances. “I am the Harbinger of Death,” she intones. “I arrive on winds of blessed air. Air that you no longer deserve.” Massimo begins to choke and begs for his life. Terrified, Bo nonetheless intercedes. “Tamsin? Little T? I know you want to kill him. So do I, but believe me, he’s not worth it.” Tamsin asserts that killing is what she does. “I’m Dark, remember?” Bo tells her that doesn’t mean she has to kill. “You can be whoever you want to be.” Tamsin shouts that Bo’s lying. “You despise me!” There are shades of the wounded teenager in that accusation.
Bo checks on Massimo and then admits Tamsin is right. “You and I, we fought in your past life,” she says, easing closer to Tamsin with each word. “You weren’t always my favorite. You rubbed me the wrong way. You could be a real close talker. But I never hated you.” She’s close enough now to reach out and stroke Tamsin’s face. “In fact, I thought you were incredible.” She embraces Tamsin and Bo’s entire body glows with her power, as if one succubus touch couldn’t possibly be enough to soothe such a powerful being as a wounded Valkyrie in full display. Tamsin’s wings immediately retract. She closes her eyes and leans into Bo, and her face glows with Bo’s absorbed power as Tamsin accepts her comfort. “That’s what love feels like,” Tamsin says with the innocence of a child who now knows how much she’s loved. “No one fights with my roommates but me,” Bo assures her gently. Quelled but no longer dying, Massimo spies some of Tamsin’s hair on the floor that came loose when she shed the tape as she transformed.
Bo presses an iPod into Tamsin’s hands and urges her to go to the elevator, close her eyes, and turn the music up real loud until Bo joins her. Childlike again, Tamsin nods agreement and scurries away. Bo watches as she runs for the lift while Massimo scrambles to retrieve the loose hair. “Wow did you see that? I mean if you thought she was powerful before—whoo! She just got her wings! Do you know what that means?” Bo: “Monthly cramps? Bloating?” Massimo reveals that wings mean this is Tamsin’s last life. “So I guess that means you just saved mine.” He really doesn’t know when to shut up, does he? “I don’t let children to do my dirty work,” Bo states, “especially when somebody sends gargoyles after me to do theirs.” This shocks Massimo given that he didn’t send the gargoyle in the first place. “Gargoyles serve a higher authority. They attack whoever threatens their masters, Elder Fae!” Massimo explains to allay Bo’s doubts. He guesses they’re even now, but Bo disagrees—violently.
She goes to suck him all the way down, but breaks off when she realizes he’s human. Oh, didn’t you get that memo? Must’ve got lost on the train. “That’s how you got into our house past the rim! You’re human!” Massimo is insulted by the very idea.”I am The Druid! You desperate, pathetic people?” He means the Fae here. “You seek me! You need me! You will respect me!” he whines. Bo scorns the very idea. “You think you can take whatever you want? Go near Tamsin or Kenzi one more time,” she taunts. “I dare you.” Massimo can’t understand why Bo, a Fae, cares so much for Kenzi. “She’s just human!”
“No,” Bo states firmly. “She is family.” Bewildered—and given how Evony treated him, who wouldn’t be? —Massimo glances down at the hair in his hand. Bo snatches it up and now Massimo starts to really lose his shit. He insists she give it back and offers to make a deal, but Bo laughs in his face. “You are out of deals and I am out of patience.” Massimo childishly screams for her to give it to him and practically stamps his foot. He drops to his knees. “Just give it,” he whines. “Are you crying right now? Over hair?” Bo asks, incredulous. “My mommy,” he whines. “She needs it. And I need her to need me.” Does that mean Evony is his mother? Talk about Mommy Dearest. Bo rolls her eyes and shrugs. “Mommy issues. Get in line.” Heh. Massimo pleads for the hair but Bo jerks it out of reach. “You are one hot mess,” she observes, not without pleasure, as she saunters over to the lava pit. “And speaking of hot.” She tosses the hair into the pit and it sizzles as Massimo screams “Noooo!!!!” Oh mah GAWD, please rip off those hip waders and throw them in too! “Debt’s settled. Nice knowing you,” Bo calls back to him. But Massimo moans that now he has to go into the lava after it. Bo whirls around and watches with disbelief as Massimo walks right up to the pit and jumps in. “No! Massimo, no!” she calls out, hurrying back to the pit, but when she realizes he’s gone, Bo gets this decidedly satisfied look on her face. Well now. That settles that. Ruh roh.
Later, back at the boxing gym, Bo is working the heavy bag, but as it’s not Dyson’s heavy bag, there’s no sexy re-bout ahead. Dammit. Kenzi tentatively approaches her. Without turning around, Bo says she’s not mad about Dyson. Telling that out of all that Kenzi confessed to, that’s the thing Bo hooks onto as key. “It meant nothing,” Kenzi insists anyway. “I know,” Bo agrees. “That druid potion that marked me?” Kenzi miserably remembers it as being the one that she apparently sealed. “It needed to be a kiss from someone who would never betray me.” Teary, Kenzi exclaims she did betray Bo, but Bo cuts her off. “No. Listen,” she says and throws a few more punches at the heavy bag. “You and me, we were on our own for a very long time. But we found each other. And there will be times that we fight. Because we are family,” she concludes with a tender smile. “But family sticks together,” Kenzi tentatively suggests and Bo agrees. “Even when we screw up.” They hug it out, sincerely this time, and Kenzi tearfully repeats how glad she is that Bo’s back. It’s a nice parallel to their first scene together in this episode that was all about them getting back on track together. Bo decides that she’s done being helpless and strips off her gloves. “I am done being scared. We all are.” She heads out to do some confronting.
Up in Kenzi’s bedroom, the camera pans across the room, showing her clothes rack of neatly hung clothes and arranged shoes while fairy lights and work lights hang from the roof rungs of the loft space with care. Still on Daddy Duty, Dyson softly recites Tamsin’s adventure with Massimo to her as a bedtime story in THAT VOICE. “And then the evil beast threatened to cut her hair. That made the princess very angry. And she grew beautiful, magical wings. And she swooped down and she picked up the monster by his ears and she flew him to a far, far away land where he would never hurt anyone ever again.” Tamsin is out cold and Kenzi chooses that moment to trundle up the stairs. Dyson shushes her with a long finger to his lips. “Oh jeez, give a girl a little warning, will ya?” she hisses at Dyson while tossing stray pieces of clothing from the floor toward the clothes rack. “The inner sanctum,” Dyson softly teases. “And all this time I thought you slept in the bathtub.” Kenzi: “No, only after All-You-Can-Eat-Rib-Tuesdays.” Dyson chuckles as Kenzi checks out the sleeping Tamsin. With a heavy sigh, she goes off to fold clothes. Seeing she’s unhappy, Dyson follows with one last check on Tamsin.
He comes up behind Kenzi and says, “You know you can do anything, right?” Kenzi scoffs without turning around. “Inaccurate.” Looks like Bo gave him a quick update before she headed out to…wherever. Gotta say, I’m totally charmed by their tag-team parenting of the younger women this episode. “You don’t have to be Fae to have a place among us,” Dyson assures Kenzi. Yup. Totally got the lowdown. Kenzi gives in and sits on her daybed. “There is a way for you to be more,” he suggests. “I can teach you. It’s about time, dontcha think?” he adds, sitting next to her. Kenzi whole-heartedly agrees. “Yeah! Totally!” Dyson smiles at her and promises he’ll teach her when the time is right, which, loosely translated means when they get to that episode. It also means there’s a probably a training montage in said future ep! Yay! Love me a good training montage!
Kenzi and Dyson grin at each other. “Look at you, Wolf Man,” Kenzi teases. She lays her head on his shoulder. “Inspiring up all the kids and shit.” He did fill that role this week, didn’t he? Dyson sobers as she contemplates Tamsin. “Kenzi?” She murmurs a wordless what? “I’ve lost (Doctor) Lauren,” he admits. Kenzi sits up with surprise. “And I think she’s in danger,” he adds with great concern. “I have to find her.” Given you appear to be the only one looking for her, I guess so. Dammit.
Bo enters the Una Mens’ dungeon and spies the gargoyle with her blood on its mouth. “Nice touch,” she snarks. “Nothing like a little home décor with bite.” The Una Mens don’t react. “Tough crowd,” Bo notes. “Also, moist. Have you ever considered a dehumidifier?” The Keeper announces Bo has not been summoned to appear before them. “Here’s a little something that you should know,” Bo replies. “No one summons me. I go where I want, when I want. And if something tries to hurt me? I deal with it.” She gets right up in The Keeper’s face. “I don’t live by your rules. I will never live by your rules. And if you want to kill me for that? Try.”
The Keeper counters that the Una Mens are not interested in Bo’s proposal. “Our intention was to eliminate the unaligned succubus.” Bo is now confused. “Ah yeah. Over here.” But The Keeper counters that Bo’s blood has spoken. “You have chosen a side.” Bo laughs in her face, but quickly sobers when she sees The Keeper is serious. “What side?!” she asks, afraid to know.
“You are Dark.”
Next week: “Let the Dark Times Roll”