How to Discipline Your Vampire
Pocket Star / August 19, 2013 / $1.99 digital
Cerise Norrell, Type A substitute teacher by day, is ready to quit being a domme. Despite her best intentions, none of her partners can keep up with her scene fetish and attention to detail—let alone her demand that they have a costume and set waiting every afternoon by the time she’s home from school.
Over a dozen potential subs have left her in the past year, but just when Cerise thinks it’s impossible—that she’ll have to go back to vanilla relationships, or be alone forever—she meets William, who wants to make all her fantasies come true. He turns her home into a geisha’s dream apartment, a concert hall with a grand piano (which he uses to play an original composition while wearing a tuxedo), and even rents an abandoned loft for a zombie apocalypse scenecomplete with canned goods.
But there’s something strange about William. Well, a lot of strange things.
He must be absurdly rich, since he can afford to provide extravagant costumes and props on a daily basis without having to leave work early. He must be insane, since he puts up with Cerise’s over-the-top demands. And most importantly, he doesn’t redden when he’s spanked, and his skin is as cool as satin sheets. When Cerise discovers she’s become domme to the infamous “Chilly Willy,” as he’s known throughout the BDSM urban lore, she begins to find out there’s a whole lot more to her handsome submissive than a creative mind and a hard body.
And when it’s William, ironically, who starts pressing Cerise to give him the kind of commitment she’s never given anyone, it’ll take everything she has to work through her issues, confront her past, and learn to be vulnerable.
In Mina Vaughn’s debut novel, the reader is treated to the funny side of BDSM, complete with a submissive vampire and a bossy vagina named Bizzy. Yes, you read that correctly. It seems that Cerise’s vag has taken on a personality of its own and she can be rather bossy. Not that that is a bad thing; Vaughn’s mild-mannered substitute teacher is really the alter ego of a bossy domme, Mistress Cherry, who knows what she wants and will go to extremes to make sure that she gets it.
The fact that Cerise’s vag has taken over in the sex department is an indicator that something is holding Cerise back. She separates herself emotionally from the act of sex by creating elaborate scenes in which she gets lost in her role play—zombie apocalypse, geisha, rock star. The creation of these new scenes is bordering on obsession for Cerise. She has created lesson plan books worth of scenes for the next ten years. If only she was able to put that much attention to detail into her real life.
It isn’t until Mistress Cherry meets William that she begins to actually enjoy sex. William is the ultimate in unselfish lover, willing to do whatever it takes to make his mistress happy. The fact that he is an uber-sexy vampire is just icing on the cake. However, he comes with his own set of problems—a fear of abandonment and a painful past. Healing Cerise is a challenge that William is definitely up, for but it will take everything he has to convince her to let him into her heart. His first challenge is to get her past the fact that he is a vampire. A real vampire. This isn’t role play for William, it’s his life.
Of course he was fucking insane. That was my luck, right? Of course the handsomest, most creative and panty-dampening guy I’d met in years was a complete and total whackjob.
A vampire. Great. How long until he tried to “bite” me, or drag me to some Goth club where he and his friends would drink pig’s blood and wear plastic fangs and sat-eye contact lenses? How long until we were married and had little Goth kids named Caligula and Artery? Fucking weirdo.
And yet he didn’t seem weird-weird. Sure, he had bizarre skin and other peculiar traits. But, in all honesty, I really couldn’t picture him doing any of that Goth stuff. So why the lies? Occam’s razor dictated that the most obvious answer was usually the right one…
William has his work cut out for him. He needs to convince Cerise that he is the one man, albeit and immortal, who can make her happy. Cerise isn’t going to go down without a fight, one that may push William away forever. By creating Mistress Cherry, Cerise has placed herself in control. The scenes she creates allows her to detach herself from sex as an emotional commitment, but rather as a scene to be played out. No emotion, no potential for hurt. William has to push Cerise to confront her past and let go of her sexual obesssins. But, in doing so, he may actually push her further away.
I realized I was doing it again: self-sabotage. When it comes to S&M, I was both sides of the coin. I loved the feeling of slapping the ever-loving bejeezus out of someone with a leather whip, but I did the same shit to myself mentally. I was a sadist masochist. What the hell was it about me that tried to undo any potential happiness that came may way? I flipped through my recipe box. I didn’t really know why. Was it to remind myself why I had this fetish? To show myself all the fun I’d had over the years? Or was it to prove what a bitch I was—reminding myself of all the men whom I threw away?
When Cerise finally realizes that she loves William will it be too little, too late? Or, are Cerise’s obsessions too much for William to work through? Cerise must find the strength to make changes to her life before she can commit to who William is and what he has to offer her. The confirmed self-saboteur has to confront her past and heal herself before she can move forward with a life with William. As for Bizzy, she is totally on board with all the changes in Cerise’s life. As long as she doesn’t get left out, that is.
For those, like me, who are new to BDS&M, this book is a fun way to transition to the genre. Vaughn combined just the right amount of sex with humor so that the reader isn’t overwhelmed. Adding a submissive vampire was a nice twist. William was angsty, but likeably so. Be warned, the book is laugh out loud funny.
Learn more or order a copy of How to Discipline Your Vampire by Mina Vaughn, available now:
Stephanie is a high school social studies teacher who enjoys escaping from reality with a good book. She is the mom of two energetic sons and when she isn't chasing herself in circles, she can be found lurking on Twitter @KindlesConsort.