Talk about opening with a bang! Picking up where we left off last week, Jason is passed out on the floor. Thankfully, Ben (I don’t quite trust him yet…) is there to help Sookie get him to the couch. As Sookie runs to the kitchen to call 911 for medical assistance, low and behold – Ben’s fangs snap out and he bites down into his arm to give Jason a dose of vampire blood. (Yes, y’all - He’s a vampire and he can walk in the sun.) I’m going to watch later to see if I can find out whatever happened to that ambulance.
Picking up on the chase occurring in the woods, Niall catches up with Nora. After she explains that Warlow is the only person that can kill Billith since he’s her progeny, she catches a whiff of faerie blood and gets that glazed look in her eyes. Neill zaps her ass into next week—actually into the path of a waiting LAVTF gang. They zap her one more time.
Neill returns to the house to find a quickly recovered Jason and chastises the sneaky Ben for abandoning the Warlow hunt. Ben decides to leave, advising Sookie that he will be at a motel in town.
The wolves, lead by the not-so-pack-master Alcide (seriously, you would think Rikki was the leader), are in hot pursuit of the missing team member, or as Rikki called her, the girl with the crazy hair. They are about to take off when Martha bursts out of her shed (I mean, is it a house? Really?) and announces that Sam has Emma.
Sam and Emma and crazy hair girl pile into Lafayette’s car and peel off into the night.
Ginger is still on the phone with Burrell delivering a horrible stall-job when she is surrounded by smoke from gas bombs of silver oxide. The LAVTF burst inside with Ginger screaming the whole way. Ordering the uncooperative Ginger to the camp, Burrell has a hissy fit and punches the wall. Not sure if that scream was impersonating Ginger’s, but he gave it his best shot.
Pam, looking as fierce as always, summons Tara to meet her and Eric. When Tara emerges from the sewer, Pam attempts to command her. Without warning, Eric pounces and demands that she tell him where Willa is. She reveals that she is at the fairgrounds. With his vampire speed, he disappears into the darkness. Pam, as pissed as always, calls him an asshole.
Andy’s fae girls, Number 1, 2, 3, 4 read Terry’s mind to find out through telepathy that he killed his friend, Patrick. Arlene to the rescue, admonishes the girls and Andy arrives to take them upstairs. After he puts them to bed, they have another growth spurt. Clicking the lights on, four curvaceous young ladies are in the room. Armed with Aunt Arlene’s clothes (not her good clothes either) and Andy’s stolen squad car, they head out for a night on the town.
Bill and Jessica are waiting outside to see the girls and follow them down the dark road into what is no doubt misadventure.
Sookie finds a shirtless (and hawt!) Jason doing prison-style door pullups. When she questions why he isn’t in bed, Jason responds he’s never felt better. Sookie heads downstairs to tidy up the house. Finding a drop of Ben’s blood, she blasts it with fae power and it glows, just like the blood Niall found in the fae’s destroyed hidey hole. You can almost see the wheels turning in her mind.
At the local lick-a-sto, 1, 2, 3, and 4 jump out of their stolen squad car and head inside. Jessica and Bill observe, and Jess convinces him that he is not to be trusted around the girls due to his unpredictable behavior. She arrives just in time to save them from a lecherous store clerk who advises them that he can check their age with a quick anatomy check in the back—since they didn’t have their IDs. What a pal! Jess glamours him, assuring him that he didn’t see anything and sends him into the back of the store. After a quick exchange of giggles, Jessica lures the girls away to her house to hang out. The look on her face tells us that she is apprehensive about the whole plot. Bill loads them into the car and the six of them take off, leaving the squad car behind.
Jason, again shirtless, is shaving his face in the bathroom mirror. To our surprise, Ben is there too, and aiding in the shaving. Encouraging Jason to do him, Jason squeezes shaving cream into his hands and awkwardly splashes it on his face. In his nervous state, he cuts Ben while trying to shave him. Ben tells him that he can ‘taste’ it. Just when his outstretched tongue reaches his face, Jason awakens—confused as hell, and a glimpse beneath the blanket tells of his arousal.
One of the fae sisters (maybe they should be a singing group) meets Billith in his study. She asks about his little toy, and he explains that the contraption is a tool to extract blood, instead of using fangs all the time. He attaches it to her and steals some of her precious blood. He dismisses her, much to her dismay, and heads to the basement to take it to Mr. Takahashi. Bill explains that special properties to his prisoner and the importance of replicating the faerie blood.
Eric finds Willa, with a special kind of look in her eyes, waiting on a carousel at the fairgrounds. She tells him why she waited and asks to taste his blood. (Okay, looking like he looks in this scene, I might have asked too!) Not one to disappoint, he carries her to a dark place, digs a grave, which she happily jumps into and he bites her neck, allowing her blood to seep into the ground. After lecturing her on his reasons for turning her, he takes her cross, punctures his neck and obliges her with a long, intoxicating drink of his blood.
Nicole, Lafayette, Sam and Emma are miles outside of Bon Temps and from the wolf pack, but not nearly far enough. Attempting to leave, Nicole limps away stating that she would only slow them down. Sam convinces her to stay and sends Lafayette away. (I’m not sure why he sends Lafayette away – clearly, he needs him and who the hell would send Lafayette away??) Shifting into a horse, he becomes the getaway transportation for the weary travelers.
Sookie heads over to Ben’s hotel and asks him over to her house for dinner, as sweet as pie. He eagerly accepts the offer. She walks away with the look of pissed-offness on her face. Heading to the grocery store, she calls Jason and tells him to stay away from the house so that they could get to know one another.
Andy calls in the police to help him look for his missing daughters. It’s the next day and he’s found his car missing. Accusing Terry of possibly harming the girls for their poking around in his head, Andy has a mini-breakdown and confesses to Arlene that he may not be able work on the case.
Jason, disoriented and confused, stumbles into the kitchen and absently confesses to his grandfather, Niall, that he had a sexual dream about Ben. The two put their heads together and figure out that Ben is a vampire. And not just any vampire. Warlow. Jason and Niall head over to Warlow/Ben’s hotel, where Jason obtains the key from the front office. Breaking into his room while he’s in the shower, Niall faerie-blasts the shower curtain. Ben isn’t in there, though. Instead, he’s naked behind them and blasts Niall, then glamours Jason—naked. Sending Jason away (at least he allows him to say goodbye to his grandfather), he begins to drain Nialll. Not like a vampire though. He takes big gulps of blood into his mouth and spits it into the bathtub. (Sometimes, the WTFery catches you off guard, you know??)
Sookie arrives home and unloads the groceries, breaking out with an old case of recipes. Setting a bottle of colloidal silver on the table, finishes unpacking the groceries. (Oh, I like the way you think, Sookie Stackhouse!)
Picking up the trail, the wolves find Nicole’s discarded cell phone and pick up the trail of Sam and crew. Rikki attempts (again, with her bossy self) to tell everyone what to do and where to go. Alcide, once again, direct everyone back to camp with the exception of Jackson. Rikki reluctantly retreats.
Meanwhile, Sookie is shaving her legs and putting on a fresh coat of country-girl pink lipstick.
Bill returns for results from Mr. Takahashi. He explains that the faerie blood will decompose very quickly when away from the host. Bill tells him that he’ll get more and Takahashi tells him that his captivity, as well as that of the fae, is unacceptable. A really bad move because Bill goes all Billith on him and suspends him from the ceiling.
Eric and his newborn vamp, Willa are fresh from ground. She’s typical, wild and greedy, when Eric tells her that she must return home to her father, Burrell. Willa is no doubt upset, but Eric tells her that she is only his second vampire and that he changed her with good reason. Commanding her, she leaves to return home.
Tara and Pam are arguing, as usual. Pam calls Tara a human-lover. Obviously, Tara is pissed and admits being sympathetic to poor Willa. Leaving her lover behind, she flees. Seconds later, Pam is shot down by the Governor’s henchmen, while a shocked and angry Tara watches.
Just when Sarah has Governor Burrell alone and is about to tell him something very important, his advisors and guards arrive at the door and tell him that they’ve had to invite his daughter in. In walks Vampire Willa, covered in blood and dirt. She almost had Ben convinced to shut down the LAVTF, too, when she smells the injured Governor’s hand. Willa acts just like a baby-vamp and attempts to bite her father. Sarah shoots her in the back and tells him he must let his daughter go by sending her to the camp with the rest of the vamps.
Back to Sookie and her exceptionally pretty dinner table, filled with candles.. She bathes a dinner plate fried chicken in the liquid silver. Ohhhh, she’s bad!
Ben/Warlow is standing in front of a car on the bridge. You can just about see where it’s going when he opens his truck, we see Niall. After giving him a dose of his blood, he admits that he is indeed Warlow before tossing him into the faerie wormhole-abyss. (So, if he’s the bad guy, why didn’t he kill Niall? I mean, I didn’t want him to die, but Warlow is supposed to be a really sucky dude, so what gives? Sigh, I digress.)
Sam and Nicole are in a hotel room drinking away their sorrows together. Naturally, the both of them are shaken up. She’s lost all her friends and he’s lost Luna. Kissing her on the forehead and then the lips, he gets a little closer. Of course, it wouldn’t be True Blood if there wasn’t the occasional random hookup.
Ben arrives at the door with flowers and wine. (He was late as hell since he’d been detained with her grandfather) Ben takes a big sniff of the food (I just knew he was onto her) before digging in. As Sookie confesses about who Bill was to her and his lying, misleading ways, she reels Warlow in, asking ‘what is it about me that you want?’ He’s very convincing in his response (and if I didn’t know that he was a world class jerk I would have believed him).
The fae girls revolt. They’re cursing more and have even more trashy clothes. Jessica, after they corner her, loses it and takes a big bite out of one of their wrists. (I swear I don’t know the difference).
Andy and Jason have tracked the abandoned squad car to the store. After accosting the clerk, they realize he doesn’t know anything. This is the smartest Jason has been all season. Jason tells him that the clerk may have been glamoured and that vampires have a weakness for fae. Andy asks about whether vamps can smell fae. Once he finds out that they can, he takes off in the squad car, leaving Jason standing there.
Andy’s too late, because Jess screams, bringing Bill running up the stairs. He finds Jess surrounding by discarded fae. Bill looks around as Jessica lays on the floor in a heap, screaming her head off. (Uh oh…)
Ben/Warlow and Sookie are on the couch getting cozy. He takes her dress off, she strips his shirt and wraps her legs around him. Her exact words as he is pouncing away are, “get the fuck off me or die, Warlow.”
Best Lines of the Night:
Jessica – “Oh my gosh, that is so.. cool. I mean I hate having a name. I mean, you always gotta be like ‘hey, my name is Jessica’, right?”
One of the fae girls – “You smell kinda funny.”
Ben – “Wanna do me now?”
Andy – “Four Caucasian females between four and seven feet tall, between sixty and two hundred and sixty pounds and between the ages of ten and, I don’t know, fifty. Now c’mon, do some fucking police work for a change.”
Jason – “That was my best Dirty Harry. He might just be an idiot.”