Last season on True Blood things went a bit off the rails for book readers. The Vampire Authority wasn’t a part of Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse series. So Bill’s turn into Billith was a complete shock. Will Sookie recover from seeing her former lover go vampire god? Will he go crazy on all humans? Everything along this line will be a surprise. Plus, the writers twisted the faerie plot, too, so Andy’s a dad times four!
This season we get to meet Niall (finally?) and maybe we’ll get lucky and we’ll see the turn of Arlene Fowler a la the book events. Fingers crossed.
Are you ready to dive into another season of madness and a whole lot of nudity (yes, we’re recapping those parts, too)? If so, SPOILERS lie ahead.
The episode opened right where the last one left off—Eric and Sookie running from Bill/Billith. The naked Bill/Billith chases after them and kills a vampire of his own in the process. Meanwhile Jason, Pam & Co. are up top fighting the Authority’s guards to escape. Everyone makes it out as the building goes up in flames. Billith emerges from the fire, still bloody and apparently untouched by the flames. He takes to the sky, a skill he didn’t have previously. Also: Still totally naked.
Luna makes Sam promise to take care of her daughter Emma. Luna dies after the toll the skinwalking took on her. Sam flees with Emma, but if we have learned anything from the previous seasons it’s that people don’t always stay dead on True Blood. Fingers crossed here.
We meet Governor Truman, who then announces he serves “people, not vampires.” He draws the corollary between the Tru Blood shortage and an increase in human deaths in the state. He institutes a statewide vampire curfew after sundown and closing all vampire-run businesses.
The dynamic between Eric and Pam has shifted since he “released” her. Her dislike of Nora makes sense for Pam, but Eric isn’t having any of it. Instead of his normal high-handed action, he tells Pam to “get over it and have my back or get out of my face.” Their banter may change this season. Could get interesting.
This episode carries the note of understanding that love can change. Tara helps Pam cope with seeing Eric care about Nora. It is such a change to see her in a position to give sage advice, and she does (“love doesn’t have to be a competition”). Jessica wants to know if Sookie still loves Bill, and Sookie admits Bill was her first “everything” and that “loving him is just in my blood now.” Jessica feels similarly, and neither want to let him go—but agree they need to.
Warlow—the vampire that killed Sookie’s parents, the one that has a faerie contract to Sookie—is from the vampire bible. He’s Lilith’s progeny.
Jason decides Sookie has chosen the vampires over him. He’s still hellbent on killing as many “fangers” as possible.
Alcide becomes packmaster. It involves their weird cannibalism bit, but probably worth it to have him in charge. Then he tears off his shirt, so everyone can rejoice.
Terry and Arlene have been raising Andy’s “litter of alien babies” (per Arlene). He has four faerie babies and is not adjusting to fatherhood well. Mostly, he’s scared. Arlene gives her best pep talk, though.
Sam arrives back at Merlotte’s with Emma snoozing in his arms. Lafayette is there and lets him know that Luna turning into Steve Newlin was broadcast on TV. He notes it was the weirdest thing he’s seen, and he watches Dance Moms. Then LaLa continues to be epically awesome and takes care of Emma while Sam tries to deal.
A wild-haired man picks Jason up on the side of the road and takes him home. He gets Jason to talk about his family, and by the end of the episode we discover he’s Warlow.
Sookie takes Jessica back to Bill. He’s wearing clothes now. Everyone tries to attack him, but Sookie manages to actually stake him. He’s not a normal vampire now, though. Bill simply pulls the stake out and asks if they can talk. Creepy much?
Bill doesn’t admit to being Lilith, but says he’s “something more.” Sookie asks him to leave, but Jessica takes Bill’s side. She’s staying with him, crazypants or not, and the others leave.
Governor Truman offers the head of Tru Blood a “government bailout.” He offers her a local bottling plant and swears he’ll be a silent partner. She takes the deal, but I’m curious to see what kind of strings are attached here.
Alcide nudity! Growl-y kissing ensues until he and Danielle are spotted by the woman Alcide had a thing with before. She steps in, makes the other woman submit and then starts a threesome. Messages delivered to Alcide: “I’m your No. 1 bitch.”
Pam and Tara have it out. Tara wants her to give up on Eric, Pam can’t explain why that isn’t a possibility for her. This relationship is going to take work, but it’s one of the few times we’ve seen Tara be completely honest about her emotions. Turning vampire was a good thing for her.
A SWAT team descends on Fangtasia to shut it down. Tara’s big mouth gets her shot, but not killed. Pam is at a loss for words. A first?
Eric offers to give Sookie money to leave and start a new life. (See, this is why I ship those two.) She denies it; Bill’s had her blood, she could never escape him. Eric then signs Sookie’s home back over to her. I swooned. Again.
Then Sookie rescinds his invitation to her house. It’s probably smart.
Eric advises Nora they will keep Sookie out of this. She calls him out for loving her, says it’s his weakness. That won’t end well.
And Bill is now telekinetic. *cue double take* Jessica and Bill are both surprised. His power is certainly terrifying. He asks Jessica to keep him “honest.”
Billith’s throaty growls can shake a building. That’s not a good sign.
Bill summons Jessica and when Eric tries to stop her, she starts vomiting blood and writhing on the ground.
So…um…our favorite werewolf becomes packmaster by taking a big ol’ bite out of a severed arm. He does this in human form. I would be far less grossed out if he’d been a wolf at the time, thus, WTFery.
The faerie babies grow freaky fast. Toddlers in a day.
The opening scene includes a quick flash of the backside of naked, bloody Bill-turned-Billith. Later we get a VERY far away shot of naked Billith taking flight.
One of the werewolves, Danielle, shifts in front of Alcide. Toplessness ensues as she offers to—ahem—serve him. This is quickly followed by a whole lot of people stripping off shirts and shifting.
OH, ALCIDE BOOTY! Our dear Packmaster shifts back to human form giving us one fine look at his muscular back and toned booty—did you know he’s working on a fitness book? It shows. Anyway, then the shifter from before shows up and we get full frontal on her. (They never do that one with the guys, do they?) Then Alcide’s quasi-girlfriend joins in, also topless. Sexytimes follow. (Check out this gif set from ffionagallagher on Tumblr to relive the naked Joe Manganiello glory.)
Bill is seeing Lilith in all her naked, bloody glory, again.
Jason: Had lots of practice killing your kind.
Nora: I’d wager not as much as I’ve had killing yours.
Jason on escaping from Bill: Unless he’s flying over our heads like an evil, naked Superman.
Pam: I hate the beach. Fish piss and sand in your cooch.
Jason: I am sick as fuck of you bloodsuckers brain raping me against my will!
Arlene on the facts of life: And when you stick Mr. Happy inside somebody’s hoo-ha without a raincoat on, babies come out!
Eric to Sookie: To me, you’ll always be that girl in the white dress. The one who walked into my bar.
While Chelsea Mueller runs Vampire Book Club, she won’t turn down a sexy werewolf, demon or faerie. Her appreciation of Alexander Skarsgard is well documented. Bother her on Twitter — @ChelseaVBC — she likes it.