This post contains SPOILERS for all aired episodes of Scandal, including last night's Season 2, episode 18, “Molly, You in Danger, Girl.”
Hey there, Gladiators, when we last met we were left with a dead “mole” who we knew wasn’t really the mole and a Creepy Cute Jake sitting on a Washington bench with a new guy (ya know, that man from Terminator and Speed) talking about how Smarty McSmart they were for fooling everyone and setting up Osborne the way they did.
This week we’re back, with yet another fast-paced episode, one filled with so many twists and turns and fall out, yell at your screen, send your fingers flying to tweet moments. Instead of going my usual route, I’m going to share all the moments that had me yelling tweeting, gagging or going H2theN.O., they didn’t. Feel free to chime in over in the comments section with your favorite scream-worthy moments. Now let’s dive into this crazy stew together, shall we? #WhoIsTheMole
My first scream-worthy H2theN.O. moment came not 15 seconds in when HuckaberryQuinn popped on into Liv’s apartment chatting up their new Liv apartment bug and camera-sweeping itinerary. And when was this policy implemented and, uh duh, if there is a bug don’t you think shouting out your plan is a bad idea Huckabops? Yeesh.
Next H2theN.O. was seeing Jake Master Creep come right behind them to put back the cameras that he just took out for their little surprise sweep. I’m so annoyed I think I need a diet Coke.
All the while, Fitz is holding a press conference about how Osborne was the mole and all is good with the world. Blah. Blah. You’re wrong, Fitz! Hursh!
Next tweet worthy moment was Cyrus trying to play marriage counselor between Mellie and Fitz to get them to agree to do an interview. Mellie Mel is mad because they can’t even pull Oprah. I hear that, Mel. Did you hear that Usher and Beyonce were on Oprah? Just sayin’.
Then we get slammed to find out that James has kicked Cy out of their house. They have had 6 months and 22 days of estrangement. Trouble in paradise. Oh well, more trouble. There was that little pesky contract hit man thing.
At Pope and Assoc., in runs Susan Osborn saying her husband was murdered. He called her Suzie and not Susan. A wife always knows. H2theN.O. You’d better listen up, Liv. Oh, and put that Albatross box down Abby. You’ve got a new client.
In another fantastic moment we have Cy and Fitz going over a few talking points in the Oval Office and Fitz asks him about his marriage. Cy is shocked he knows. Fitz says, “I’m the President, I know all kinds of things,” and gives a cute knowing smile. It’s so telling. Fitz then tells Cy don’t give up if you love him. Aww.
Now it all comes out that Molly played the crew and David is in danger. Abby goes off running. Oh Abby girl, you are whipped. Cracking up over that and the fact that David is slowing, but surely becoming a slide in Gladiator.
There is a big sigh when Liv calls Cy, no doubt feeling safe after her big apartment sweep, and tells him that Osborne was not the mole. They chat blah, blah the convo is over and we see Jake watching and looking unsettled and I swear more like Norman Bates than last week. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
Just great, now he’s talking to Dr. Evil, the man with no name besides that guy from Terminator and Speed and he’s all ‘I trust that you’ll take care of it.’ Later we’ll probably find out he was just a figment of Norman’s, I mean Jake’s imagination. *my brow is raised*
So now the Gladiators are on the trail for Molly and Albatross and David is all ‘I wanna be a Gladiator too’, but it takes HuckaberryQuinn to school him on his silly ideas like dumping a body in a storage unit. ‘What an amateur,’ Quinn’s smug expression says as she tells him about the smell while tossing her hair and showing off her cute cardi. David rolls his eyes, just as I would.
Pushy Jake calls Liv for dinner and it’s more of an order than a request and in the ordering he almost lets his stalkeration slip. Whoops! But he recovers and hangs up.
We then see Fitz and Mellie’s non-Oprah interview and they are talking about their romantic meet cute and we see Liv watching at her place with the biggest glass of wine ever. Chug, chug, chug. She’s had enough.
Then in a huge H2theN.O. we have Huck and Quinn going to a storage place to check on an Albatross lead. Huck goes to the unit and steps in seeing a box while Quinn watches from outside. Once inside, poor Huckaboo is clocked on the back of the head. On No they didn’t, but yes they did. Call the cops!! We got a Huck Down!!
Now we see creepy Jake at his place, checking a gun and packing a bag with duct tape and who knows what else a guy about town like Jake needs in a pinch when his door rings, it’s Liv, peddling burgers and a wicked case of ‘my boyfriend was just on TV with his wife.’ This can’t be good.
And did you see that Jake put his hand in her purse and turned off her phone. Gah! Made my teeth hurt!! He is Evil!!
In another teeth aching moment Liv is thirsty and Jake gets her a beer to this she says ,“I don't drink beer.” And he says, “Tonight you do.” Agh, that would so not fly with me. Really, dude. Who are you Christian Freaking Grey? I brought the burgers, at least respect what I drink.
But no, he gets her by telling her she’s special and fancy and to come down to his level and she falls and not only does she fall she FALLS and he goes in. Her burger run turns to a booty call and twitter and Facebook and the sky and the moon it all just implodes and Olivia Pope says she has no excuse and give it up to Creepy Mc Stalker Captain Jake. H2theN.O. Yes they Did!
Silence. All we hear is silence. But there are words after this, but must focus again. I wish I could wash my eyes.
Huck is still in danger and Quinn is on the scene.
Now James is arguing with Cy, but Cy is done. He’s done with paying a hotel bill on top of a mortgage and just wants to come back home. And James is having trouble facing reality. He wishes that Cy actually lied. All I can think is what if he knew about Charlie. Eep.
Now we have Fitz, not looking so relaxed in his tee shirt and slacks and oh no he’s going back in time and has that look in his eye. Methinks... Mellie, YOU in danger girl! He talks of her breeding and even slams her by saying she probably had some slave trading in her background. Dang and ouch. But Ol’ Mellie just brushes him off. She’s been down this road before and goes on about “Pretending is what's real.” It’s the world according to Queen Mellie. Get on board or go kick rocks.
In another, please wash my eyes out and gag me with a spoon moment we see Liv waking in Jake’s arms and she’s thirsty. Way to rub it in, Liv. He offers to get it for her, but stops her with more good lovin’. Seriously, my eyes. They burn.
Cut to Quincy Drew still solving the ‘Mystery of the Missing Huck’. Go Quinn Go! And she does. Finding poor Huck locked in a small box. Lawd, there may not be enough therapy in the world to fix this.
Now we see a satisfied, but still thirsty (salt—meet wound) Liv getting up and leaving Jake’s arms. She gets her water, sees a remote and figures she’d maybe catch up on The Real Housewives or something. But oh no, NeNe and the gang are not on TV. Turn out it’s all Liv Cam all the time. What Tha-!?
In comes Norman Jake trying to explain as she backs away from him. They fight, he pushes her down. Like in totally pushes her down. She hits her head. He says he’s there to protect her and when she asks from who, her he turns her towards the screens in time to see a masked man with a gun in her apartment. What to the Oh My Head Is Spinning. This has to be a joke. This man must be a plant or something? I can’t. What is going on here? But then Jake pulls his hand away from Olivia’s head and it’s covered in her blood from the fall. Oooohhhh Jake you done did it now.
Liv passes out. I think I do too.
Then in a total H2theN.O. we have Fitz calling Cy like he’s in a confessional and telling him that he killed Verna. What in the world is up with that? Then he asks Cy would she forgive him if she knew. Who is the she? Is it Liv and why is he telling Cy this? Of course a man like Cy would record all convos.
Cut to the Gladiators and Huck is a mess and dang blang Molly is dead. Hit and run. That’s no accident. Oh boy. Back at Gladiator central they are going over footage of who hit Huck and decide that the guy with the baseball cap works for Albatross. We then see Cy getting a call and it’s from our favorite hit man on retainer, Charlie, and what’s he doing? Why, he’s outside of the hospital where Liv is and he’s adjusting his baseball cap! Oh my, what in the world?! Cy did you just try and have Liv killed? Your drinking home slice. That is cold. And are you Albatross? But where does that leave Jake? Just a Creepster and what about the man on the bench? My head is spinning. It’s a twister! It’s a twister!
But, no time to speculate because Liv is waking in the hospital and Jake is talking fast telling her to say they never met until now. In rushes the Secret Service and after them Fitz. He and Jake shake hands like old friends and Liv sees this. Fitz looks at Olivia for a long moment with the Fitzy puppy dog eyes all dreamy and glassy and then he says….“Hi.” Soft and mellow. I think it’s mad sexy, but not Liv. She all shifty eyed and trembly as she looks over at Jake who’s in the hall and Fitz leans in to give her a long-awaited hug. Oh, Liv, it’s you who’s in danger now, girl.
See you in three very long weeks when the next new episode airs.
Kwana Jackson—aka K.M. Jackson—is a writer of women’s fiction and contemporary romance. Her debut novel Through the Lens is on sale now. She can be found on most days at her blog kwana.com and at any moment on Twitter talking about everything and nothing at all under the handle @kwanawrites.