The last episode of Lost Girl Season 3 is upon us (sob!), but there's still lots of Lost Girl and urban fantasy/paranormal romance goodness ahead at H&H. In the meantime, be sure to check out all of our Lost Girl recaps, from Season 1 and Season 2 to all the most recent happenings in Season 3.
Editor's Note: A shorter recap of Jackie Lester's thoughts on the episode was posted last week and can be found HERE with all its glorious discussion in the comments. And now, on to Kiersten's play-by-play of the Season 3 Lost Girl finale, 3.13, “Those Who Wander.”
I’d like to preface this recap by saying that I loved the season three finale of Lost Girl. LOVED it. It was fast-paced, featured everybody in the cast, focused on mythology (finally!), and had a sharp, sassy script. I want to get that out in front because I nit-picked the hell out of it as it was also filled with inconsistencies and fairly hemorrhaged plot holes…which is why we drink!
We open exactly where we left off with Bo beating the crap out of Blackwater Type #1. “Every kick from your boot,” he mumbles, “is bliss.” “Speaking of kinky,” Bo says breathlessly, “I’m gonna need your chi.” She blue chi sucks the shit out of him and lunges for where Tamsin lies on the ground unconscious and bleeding out. Blackwater Type #1 gets the typical goofy smile on his face and falls back onto the ground. Bo pours red chi into the Valkyrie, but instead of charging her up, the chi floats away from Tamsin’s mouth and back into Blackwater Type #1. Increasingly desperate, Bo sobs, “Why isn’t this working?” She hurries back over to Blackwater Type #1 who mutters that it’s probably his fault. With her bloody hands, Bo grabs him by the lapels. “You tell me where you’re keeping the wolf,” she demands, but even with the returned chi, the dude is done and passes out. Bo’s arms are still extended and she kind of gestures of course you did. If Tamsin’s situation weren’t so dire, this would be a little funny.
“Hurry, hurry,” she urges herself as she hurries back to put pressure on Tamsin’s bleeding gunshot wound. “I swear, Tamsin, I will kill you if you don’t wake up,” she vows as she shakes Tamsin’s head and smacks her cheek. ‘Cause that always works. “Come on!” But Tamsin’s head just rolls aimlessly. Bo gazes off toward Taft’s
Evil Lair Lab. "Dyson,” she says with desperation, presumably accessing the same instinctive connection that tells her he’s still alive to communicate with him. (I’m kidding—a little). “I could really use your help right now to rescue you.” Uh huh. Bet you wouldn’t accuse him of cock blocking now, wouldja? “Here’s hoping you’re okay.” You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you!
That last might have been Daniel Day-Lewis as Hawkeye, but it was all there in Bo’s eyes!! Subtext FTW!
Cut to Pod Cell City (PCC) where Dyson is still imprisoned and Aoife is still cray cray in her pod across and down the aisle. “Aoife!” he calls. “Look at me! There must be a way out of here!” Aoife turns and look at him but then she laughs mockingly. “It’s called Death,” she answers, “And it’s coming for you.” It better not be, bitch! I said that out loud, didn’t I? Eh, whatever.
For a moment, Dyson stares at her with the incredibly-blue-eyes of you are seriously bat shit crazy, lady mixed with no frickin’ way. But then he takes in the other pods. The camera tracks his gaze and one by one we see the numerous Fae Taft has imprisoned, some even two to a pod as though he ran out of space in which to keep them, and the camera rests on one Fae who is in total shock as he stares at the freshly bandaged, bloody knee stump where once he had a leg.
Over the dance beat piping through Hilton Hovel (drink!), Bo sits on the couch with the still unconscious Tamsin’s head in her lap and—wait just a second there, missy! How the holy hell did you get her back there? I’m guessing Bo drove her truck, but how’d she get Tamsin to it in the first place, much less into Hilton Hovel (drink!)? No way could she have managed Tamsin’s dead weight alone, not without being powered up and even then it’s doubtful. I mean, the girl is reed thin, but still. Eh, whatever. If I get bent out of shape by this teeny weeny of a what-the-huh-now moment, it’s gonna be a long damn ass night. “It’s critical that we reboot Tamsin immediately so that we can rescue Dyson!” Bo instructs the hazy images in the kitchen behind her. Plus there’s the added benefit of saving Tamsin’s life. “Do you have any questions?!” The camera focuses and shows two of the three sorority kitsune kits dancing in Bo and Kenzi’s kitchen. “Ya,” drawls Kitsune #1, “do you have any non-Ibiza party mix? I am so over that scene.” Kitsune #2: “She gets dumped by one Spanish prince and it’s no more island raves for any of us.” Kitsune #1 “Screw you, Amanda.” Amanda: “I’d rather keep screwing Fernando!” This stops Kitsune #1 in her dance step. “What?!” Amanda mewls that it was only “to avenge you, sweetie!” Kitsune #1: “Slut!” Amanda: “Whore!” Amanda grabs Kitsune #1 by the hair. “God, you’re hot,” she says and they mack. Oh-kay then.
“Stop!” Bo yells, jumping up from the couch. She marches over to the girls and forces them apart. “Just…stop, okay, before I yank out every kitsune hair on your head.” Bo calling the kitsune kits in to help her with Tamsin is actually a refreshing continuity point as they are the only people of whom Bo is aware that Tamsin can even remotely call her friends outside the Happy Sunshine Gang. Damn, proper grammar made a mine field of that sentence, didn’t it? Bo drags the kits by said hair over to the couch. “Bitch!” Amanda giggles. “Amanda! Kasey! Please just, focus!” Bo pleads. Hey—names for each of our kitsune kits within a minute!
The three women looked down at the still unconscious and presumably dying Tamsin. “Aw, poor Tam Tam,” Amanda says, “such a fugly sleeper.” Kasey counters that Tamsin isn’t sleeping, she’s dying. “Well, she’s been shot,” Bo points out. “Nothing to do with the bullet, babes,” Kasey quips. “Unaligned and un-believably duh,” Amanda sneers. “Am I right?” You…actually, yes, in more than one case you are really right. Amanda kneels next to the couch and brushes back Tamsin’s hair. “Tamsin’s clearly at the end of her life cycle. Lookee,” she adds. Lifting her hand, she comes away with strands of the Valkyrie’s hair. “Ugh,” she grimaces and passes it over to a thoughtful Bo. “She is,” she murmurs putting it all together.
“She’s dying.” Amanda, with even greater insulted disgust: “Also, split ends.” Kasey whispers, “ew.” Snort.
Bo insists that there must be something they can do to stop it. Amanda shrugs. “This is the way of the Valkyrie,” she says. “To live. To serve…to expire—over and over again.” Bo studies Tamsin’s hair while Kasey adds that death’s going to be a “sweet out considering who Tamsin’s gotten involved with.” “A…bad guy,” Amanda continues with a shut up look to Kasey. “Like, Voldemort bad.” Heh. “And old,” Kasey puts in, “old as time.” Naturally, Bo demands to know the name of this mysterious Fae. Kasey drops the cute and fearfully admits that she doesn’t know his name. “Don’t want to know,” Amanda clarifies and then offers that the least they can do is take the nasty bullet out of Tamsin’s side. “I’ll scrub in!” she chirps. Heavy with skepticism, Bo questions whether Amanda is a doctor and she has to admit that while she isn’t, she has been pre-med for 20 years. “I love college!” Honey, I’m totally with you there. Kasey holds up an open mascara tube, wand in one hand, casing in the other. “Do we have time for a makeover?!” Dead serious, Amanda intones that it’s a horizontal laceration. “Of course we do!” she giggles.
“Ginger bitches,” Bo mutters. She leaves the silly kitsune to it, still chirping about Tamsin - Come on. We always have time for a makeover. Oh my God, she’s going to look so pretty! – and stalks into the kitchen to make a call “A shit storm of Fae proportions,” Bo mutters now in the kitchen and making a call. That one moves right up to the top of the list, just under clusterfae. Bo is clearly worried as she waits for someone to answer her call, but that clears some when Kenzi picks up. “Oh my God, are you all right?!”
Cut to Kenzi who appears to have grown by a foot…or two. She chirps that she’d fine just keeping it “realsies with my peeps in Tent City.” A little horrified, Bo clarifies that Kenzi means she is in the sewers but Kenzi side steps the question and drops the façade. “Please, ah, please tell me you found Dyson,” she pleads. “Found? Yes,” Bo sighs unhappily. “Rescued? Still working on it. But are you sure you’re okay?” she asks again, sensing that something isn’t quite kosher with her bestie. “Totally,” Kenzi assures her as the camera slowly lowers to reveal that Kenzi is actually still at The Dal (drink!), no real surprise there, and is down in Tolkien’s Lair (drink!) to boot, but is being held aloft by
Steve Bruce the hulking Fae henchman who pursued and captured her at the end of the last episode. “I just had to evac The Dal (drink!). The Morrigan finally shifted into total psycho drive and wow!” she calls, raising her voice as Evony finally comes into view behind Kenzi, “has she ever gotten ‘chubs’!” The Morrigan snaps her fingers and Steve Bruce spins in place to shift Kenzi so she’s now facing Evony. “Pizza’s here!” Kenzi chirps into the phone. They deliver to Tent City? Eh, never mind. “Battery dying. Love you. Bye,” Kenzi rattles off and disconnects while Bo is still yelling, “wait, Kenzi, don’t!” Bracing herself on Steve Bruce back, Kenzi eyes Evony with fear. The Morrigan narrows her eyes. “Speaking of dying…”
Back at Hilton Hovel (drink!), still giggling, Kasey and Amanda hover over Tamsin who now sports heavy makeup. “She’s such a mess,” Kasey whispers into Amanda’s ear as Tamsin slowly rouses. “Hi!” the two kitsune singsong in tandem. Tamsin cringes on the couch. “I knew I was a goner; I didn’t think I’d wake up in Slut Heaven.” Snort. “Oh. Em. G G,” Amanda drawls, adding, “the extra ‘G’ is for glitter.” Ha. Kasey: “Amanda, you’re a frickin’ genius!” Her delivery of this line cracks me up. Amanda shrugs. I know. Tamsin examines her doctored wound. “Eh, her stitch work’s not bad either, Kasey,” she admits. “Best part is you barely look like you’re dying,” Kasey quickly assures her. But with that, Tamsin is done playing. She boosts up on her forearms. “What did you girls tell Bo?” she asks in a death voice—sans skull face. I forgot for a minute there that Tamsin actually has a death voice to go along with her Skeletor face.
Before they can answer, Bo emerges from the stairwell, tricked (heh) out in black (surprise!) complete with detached sleeves. Look out! Bo’s back in leather (or possibly pleather)! Shit’s about to get real! She asks the kits to give her and Tamsin a moment. “Only if you don’t mind us rifling through your drawers,” Kasey quips as she and Amanda sashay their way to the stairs while Bo crosses to the couch. “Slash trying on your underwear!” Amanda chirps and the girls exit their way up the stairs giggling—again! Bo sits down next to Tamsin. “Sorry about that,” Tamsin offers quietly. “Well,” Bo sighs, looking after the kits. “They’ll be out of luck. I don’t wear underwear.” Funny, and believable, except for the many, many times we’ve seen you in your expensive lingerie sets, but worth a ‘heh’ nonetheless. “Good to know,” Tamsin snarks all TMI much?
“The girls set your pre-op makeover to Pretty Woman,” Bo tells Tamsin, handing over a tissue. “Hmm,” Tamsin hums. I can live with that. “Before she met Richard Gere,” Bo adds. Tamsin snatches the hand mirror from Bo and snarls at her reflection. “What?!” she hisses and casts a glare up through the ceiling at the kits as Bo goes on that she doesn’t care how Tamsin looks as long as she still going to help Bo get Dyson out of Taft’s compound. Tamsin furiously wipes at her overly red lipsticked lips and warns that she counted ten guards before she got shot and passed out, “and that was just around the perimeter.”
Bo wonders what Tamsin might be able to do if they got most of the guards together. “Could you cast doubt over an entire room?” Tamsin pauses in her, um, defacement. “Look, there was a time when I could lay waste an entire army,” she admits. “Now if I go full Valkyrie, I’ll pass out.” She shrugs with self-deprecation. “Sucks getting old,” she grunts and places the mirror on the coffee table. “Yeah, I bet,” Bo commiserates. “Sorry.” With effort, Tamsin settles back against the couch and chides that Bo should be sorry. “You never got to see me in my prime,” she boasts with a wicked smile and an eyebrow waggle worthy of Dyson. “I could settle a battle with the blink of an eye, before I got weak and started slumming it as a mercenary.” Actually, I would like to see that. Boy. Howdy. Bo nods like this is Girl Talk and not pre-battle assessment of your teammate. “Fell in with the wrong guy,” she teases. Tamsin frowns at her—what are you talking about?—and Bo backtracks, “or so the movie version would go.”
“If we’re going to Battle Royale for our boy I’m gonna need to juice up,” Tamsin says, ignoring Bo, which is admittedly, sometimes the best decision. (Our boy. You betcha!) She tells Bo about the dealer, Massimo, who can juice her. “Druids are good like that.” Still smiling—isn’t all this Girl Talk just great?!—Bo shrugs one shoulder. “Always wanted to meet The Druid,” she quips. Tamsin: “This should be fun then.” I really think it will be, yes. They end the scene glaring at one another through equally sharp smiles.
This is a great scene and not only because these two have fantastic chemistry together. Tamsin knows Bo knows she’s dying, but not that Bo answered the phone and knows about Massimo (hence why she called him “The Druid” when Tamsin said “a druid”) and that Tamsin is actually working with him to capture Bo. Right now, Bo first needs Tamsin’s help to rescue Dyson, but if she gets more info on the Tamsin/Massimo alliance on the way, so much the better. Tamsin wants to rescue Dyson and doesn’t want to have to explain why Bo is still breathing to Massimo, but she needs to see him to juice up to save Dyson—and she also knows Bo knows something Is Up. There’s so much double speak in that convo—it’s just juicy.
In Tolkien’s Lair (drink!), Kenzi is back on her feet and working hard to spin her situation with The Morrigan. “Now, let me check my very packed social calendar. Nope! NOT scheduled to take any more of your guff!” She cocks her hip in defiance—and catches a look of Evony’s fabulous shoes. “No matter how…chouette your shoes are,” she allows. “Thanks,” The Morrigan sighs. She crosses her legs and the camera helpfully trails down them to the open-toed, silver-heeled and soled stilettos. Yep, they are faetastic all right. “I use them to crush rodents,” she boats, implication clear.
Kenzi crosses her arms protectively. “And just so you know,” she quickly counters, “I am not that afraid of death,” she glances up and down
Steve Bruce who stands next to her, somewhat protectively, “although open to other alternatives.” The Morrigan sneers that Kenzi’s easy to snap human body poses no challenge. “I’ve seen better constructed dorm room bookcases.” She snaps her fingers with flair and Steve Bruce immediately hustles Kenzi into a nearby chair. “I was thinking of someone with genuine power,” Evony monologues. “Someone the Light hold dear to their hearts.” Kenzi rubs her arm where Steve Bruce grabbed her and ticks through those she knows are missing. “Dyson? (Doctor) Lauren?”
“No, swizzle spine,” The Morrigan snarks. HA! “I meant Trick! Your beloved Blood King…is dead!” MWAH HA HA!!! Come on. He’s in someone’s trunk! Relax. Kenzi, unaware that Trick has been trunknapped, is devastated and afraid. Pleased by her distress, Evony preens.
Evil Lair Lab, Dyson again calls out to Aoife. “Please! Talk to me!” he exhorts. Aoife is freaking out. “Is my daughter okay?!” Dyson calmly assures her that Bo is fine. “She’s my daughter, you see. She’s my daughter. Bo is my daughter,” Aoife rambles as Dyson watches and tries to make sense from her jumble. “Dark, light,” she sings, “wrong, right. Skip to my loo, darlin’. Skip to my loo.” She giggles and covers her mouth. “You know most couldn’t handle the pain,” she tells Dyson. “But I could! I can,” she says flatly and for a moment there’s a shade of the old Aoife in her demeanor. Seeing this, Dyson loses patience. “What does he want?!” he shouts and it brings Aoife back to the glass. “At first he wanted…me.” Dyson’s brow furrows. What?! Why?!
Aoife rambles that Taft had been watching her, tracking her, “he thought me powerful, the most powerful!” she preens. The scene flashes back to Bo and Aoife’s fight at the end of season one. Bo’s eyes wolf out as The Norn (Freaking Norn!) transfers Dyson’s strength to her at the critical moment. “Then he saw me defeated, broken after Bo and I fought,” Aoife voice-overs as, empowered with Dyson’s strength, PastBo whirls her mother around and dumps her over the broken balcony, catching her hand seconds before she falls. “Still he picked me up and he brought me…” she says as the image of the stranger carrying Aoife away from the fight plays again.
“Aoife,” Dyson calls more gently as her litany tapers off. “What did he do to you?” Aoife plays with the joint where the glass walls of her cell meet. “Always with the questions,” she scoffs lightly, and she doesn’t mean Dyson. “’What’s the ultimate Fae, succubus?’” she hisses in passing imitation of Taft’s interrogation. “‘Who’s the strongest?!’” She pauses and dials back to cray cray. “But I never told him,” she giggles. She puts a finger to her lips. Shhhh. “I never told him it was my Bo! My daughter,” she whispers. “I told him it was you,” she admits to Dyson without regret. Dyson goes very, very still. “I saw it in her eyes that night,” Aoife continues and Dyson steels himself. He knows where this is going. “You gave up your wolf to save her,” Aoife says without any doubt whatsoever. Amazing that even once evil, still crazy Aoife knew in an instant exactly what happened between Bo and Dyson back then and why.
Dyson lifts his chin and meets her gaze. He blinks once and then again. He’s lived with this for a long time, is still living with the consequences and resultant loss. But given the chance, knowing what he knows now, he’d do it all over again in an instant. “Yes,” he says calmly. Aoife rattles that what Dyson did, she did too. “I gave up the wolf to save my girl,” she says proudly but her silly smile quickly drops. “Because we love herrrrr,” she singsongs. “We love her,” she murmurs again. Dyson stares at Bo’s mother not without pity and for once he is in complete agreement with this woman who did so much damage to his and Bo’s lives. Yes, we do. The conviction slowly comes over him that he’s about to have to have to sacrifice for that love once again.
What the hell is wrong with you people?! Why is everyone always so quick and ready to sacrifice Dyson?! Oy! Step. Away. From the wolf!
Over in her pod cell, Doctor Lauren carefully dabs at her pod mate’s side wound. So did she hear that exchange between Dyson and Aoife or was she too busy doctoring? The woman tearfully tells the doc that her husband Gerry was bartending at The Dal (drink!). “The things they asked him to do…do you think he survived?” Doctor Lauren sidesteps the question. “Is this right, Sunitha? Are you a cabbit?” Sunitha nods. “Hence the 38 children,” she explains, “I only hope I live long enough to see them again.” The doc vows that Sunitha will survive. “It’s not nice to make promises you can’t keep,” Taft chides as he arrives to hear this last bit. “And you should know better than to get attached to the lab rats.” Doctor Lauren replies that she knows better than to take advice from a sociopath. She would know; she’s read all those psychiatry/psychology books in her flat after all. Taft opens her pod with a weary sigh. “I put you in here (Doctor) Lauren for your own good,” he patronizes. “But now we’ve got so much to do!”
But Doctor Lauren is done taking his guff—for the moment. “Surgical tools. Antiseptic and 10 minutes to save her,” she demands with a nod to Sunitha. Taft asks if those are the doc’s terms. “Then I’m all yours,” she confirms. He seals her back in, the door swishing shut in front of her wide-eyed, desperate face, and promises to see what he can rustle up. “Ten minutes, doctor,” he reminds her.
On the quay, Massimo disregards the rain and lounges against a small metal grate as Bo and Tamsin approach. “My, my, my,” he drawls, “the spider and the fly. But who is spinning the web?” Tamsin greets him without pleasure. “Tamsin darling, you look like ass,” he tells her baldly. “And you,” he says to Bo who stands just behind Tamsin. Massimo shivers lewdly. “You look good enough to eat.” Give her time, Druid Boy.
“Where’s my pick-me-up?” Tamsin asks without preamble. I guess she placed an order for takeout. Massimo pulls a hypodermic out of his pants. Not like that! Geez! “It’s my own personal make. Should help inject some hot pink back into those frosty Scandinavian cheeks,” he assures her. When she reaches for it, he pulls it out of reach with a warning that it’s potent, “and not for recreational use.” While Massimo and Tamsin stare one another down, Bo snatches the needle from the druid’s hand. “I’ll hold it!” she chirps. Tamsin shoots her a glare but Massimo looks very carefully at Tamsin. What the hell is going on here, darling? “Just in case,” Bo quickly caveats, “until we need you at your strongest.” Caught, Tamsin grimaces that it’s good thinking.
Quick as a cabbit, Massimo snidely agrees. “Sister Solidarity. Can you dig it?” he snarks. Ha! I know he’s a total self-serving jackhole, but I like this guy! With a knowing look, Bo moves off to try Trick again on the mobile, leaving Tamsin and Massimo to conspire in private.
“You’re trembling,” Massimo observes quietly and not without care, “you losing your edge?” “The last person who said that lost her hand,” Tamsin points out sharply. “But not by you,” Massimo reminds her, but not cruelly. Tamsin’s face falls and after a moment, Massimo sincerely apologizes. “I loved Acacia too.” “Love will get you killed,” Tamsin states in a hard voice.
“As much as I would like to linger and watch this all go to hell,” Massimo says, “I’ve got a date with a cabin up north.” He pulls the rune glass out of his other pocket. Dude’s got deep pockets, if ya know what I mean. Rim shot! Wait, how’d he get the rune glass? Last we saw, it was in Tamsin’s truck in between the seats. Eh, whatever. Plot hole drink! Tamsin asks if it’ll work as she takes it from him and hides it under her crossed arms. “Measured it three times, cut it once,” Massimo assures her. “He won’t measure,” Tamsin warns a clear threat that if Massimo has screwed up the mix, there will be no measure to the amount of punishment The Wanderer will rain down on him for failing. Massimo stops and for the first time looks genuinely afraid. His gaze flickers between Bo and Tamsin before he finally walks away.
“Any luck?” Tamsin asks Bo as she hangs up and stares thoughtfully after Massimo. “Sure!” she chirps Tamsin’s pick-me-up prominently displayed in her hand. “I mean, I still have you,” she drawls into Tamsin’s face with a smug smile. Tamsin scoffs quietly and looks at the rune glass before she follows Bo.
Over in the library of Taft’s Evil Lair, Doctor Lauren demands that he let everybody go, “Immediately.” Taft snickers and grabs her arm. Startled, the doc goes without resistance as he roughly shoves her into a chair. She pauses, blinking a lot—Geez. No need to get rough—as though surprised that, when pushed, Taft will treat her just as badly as he treats everybody else. The doc carefully repositions herself in the chair (still blinking) and reassesses Taft in light of her dwindling influence. She’s clearly terrified and unsure just what he’ll do next. “They took my little brother,” Taft tells her as the doc clutches the arms of the chair and carefully leans back as far from him as she can get. Taft explains that he and his brother were camping and his brother “got scared of the moans that came over the wind,” but Taft reassured him that it was just crickets or a loon, maybe. Oh, it was definitely a loon, pal. “In the morning, he was gone. Well, his head was gone. They said it was me.” With a decided lack of sympathy, and a small tight smile, the doc acknowledges that the experience must have been very hard for Taft. “You mean being shipped off to the asylum or not really knowing what happened, which one?” he snarks. The doc blinks. “Both, actually,” Taft decides, “but, I was determined.” He wanders over to the floor to ceiling bookcases and the doc blinks some more but the fear has dialed back considerably as she begins to get his measure.
Taft picks up a large femur—oh all right, bone—and wanders back over to the doc while explaining that it took until he was 21 but he finally figured out it had been a wendigo that had killed his brother. The doc calmly agrees that wendigoes can be very territorial, “when provoked,” she adds pointedly. Not happy with that, Taft denies that he and his brother had provoked it. “We didn’t provoke anything,” he insists hotly, shoving the end of the bone into Doctor Lauren’s face. Ignoring the bone, the doc looks at him, blank and unmoved, so Taft shoves the bone against her chin until her mouth is forced open. Lovely phallic visual there, show. Stay classy.
The doc trembles and, for the moment satisfied, Taft leans against the desk. He tells her he found a wendigo years later during his “journeys,” and by journeys he means wild Fae hunts. “I’m not sure if it’s the one who killed William but I made sure he suffered.” The doc assures Taft that his brother would’ve been very proud of him, but Taft misses her sarcasm and instead says that he didn’t take any pleasure in the kill. He kneels down before her. “Not at that point. I discovered a whole race of Fae; a whole race of creatures evolved beyond our imagination because that’s what this is about, (Doctor) Lauren, this is about evolution!” Now the doc does look at him with sympathy and understanding. She remembers that feeling, the ecstasy of being a scientist who discovers an entire new race of people, superior beings with endless new discoveries. Evolution, especially of the Fae, is Doctor Lauren’s Holy Grail. And then she remembers what happened when she actually got involved with the Fae, and what will happen to Taft when he does the same. “The Fae will find you,” she promises with confidence. She would know; they always find her. “And they will take more than your head.”
Taft pshaws and gets to his feet. “Well go tell them,” he orders the doc. “Go on! Go! Tell them! But they already know that you’re AWOL, that you’ve betrayed them. They won’t ever take—you—back!” He waves the bone in the face and tells her that if she flees this compound, she flees her protection. And for the first time in this entire weird interview, he’s absolutely right—and the doc is beginning to clue in. Shocked, wide-eyed, she gets to her feet to confront him. “How long have you known I work for them?” “Long enough to know that you’re the only one who can help me,” Taft crows as he shifts things around on his desk. “You’re the only one who can help the human race…ascend, (Doctor) Lauren,” he says proudly.
Mouth agape, the doc stares at Taft with the eyes of you are absolutely flat out crazy. “You’re insane,” she whispers. Taft comes around the desk again as he tells her that’s not true. “Deep down in your heart, you understand me. What I want,” he says confidently. Actually, I think he’s more right than wrong. He grabs her hands and holds them between them as he did earlier in PCC. “Listen to me, I brought you here so you could extract the stem cells from the strongest Fae I can find and implant them…” “…Into you,” the doc finishes having finally reached that conclusion herself and more than a little intrigue by the idea despite Taft’s madness. “Correct,” he says. “A cross-breed,” she expositions. “You want to become Fae.” Taft gets his full nasty on. “And I’m gonna use Dyson’s DNA to do it.” Hey! What did I just say?! Step. Back. FROM THE WOLF.
Outside Taft’s Evil Lair, sun is shining everywhere, so I guess it’s only raining around everybody else. Bo and Tamsin walk past ThunderFaedome where Dyson so recently fought for his life. Tamsin waffles that she can’t “do this”. “Don’t pussy out on me now,” Bo orders.
“It’s gonna hurt,” Tamsin says tightly. “Stay strong,” Bo orders, “and remember we’re doing this for Dyson.” ‘Bout damn time, y’all. Tamsin sighs and grimaces just as The guards suddenly notice the strange hotties power walking across the super sekrit compound: “You! Stop! Right there.” While Tamsin hilariously rolls her eyes and lifts her hand half-heartedly, Bo leans back to mutter, “don’t hold back, okay?” and then goes into her high-drama spiel. “Guys, we are so glad you’re here! We are so lost!” It’s Tamsin’s turn to mutter “take it easy, Meryl Streep,” to which Bo replies in kind, “go big or go home!” HA!! I love it when they trash talk each other. Kenzi’s the only other one who gives Bo shit like that (though occasionally Dyson manages it like with “I don’t have time to play relationship detective!”). It’s refreshing.
Surrounded now by guards, not to mention the sniper up on the catwalk of the observatory, Bo puts on her helpless female look and whinges whether the “guys” can help them. “Say,” Tamsin deadpans. “Do you know where the mall is?” HAAA!! As a born and bred Jersey Girl, I APPROVE!! One guard orders the others not to be fooled. “They’re just like the others.” Bo drops the façade, narrows her eyes, and verrrrry slowly turns her head around to glare at Tamsin who hilariously snaps in a whisper, “WHAT?!” The guard orders the others to take Bo and Tamsin to PCC. “Toldja we could get inside,” Bo quietly crows. “Yeah,” Tamsin snarks back, “all we had to do was act like girls.” Ha! Bo hums agreement and smiles at the guard who grabs her arm and trills, “Hi,” in her best lemme-suck-your-chi-and-take-you-to-heaven voice. Snicker. As the guards lead the women into the mansion, Bo looks up and around and takes in what they’re literally getting into. “Oh, what is this place?” she murmurs.
Down in Tolkien’s Lair, Kenzi struggles against the ropes that now tie her to chair. The Morrigan snits that she’s quite the comedienne. “But not a terrorist!” Kenzi snaps back. “Those should-be-extinct Fae elders in the banquet room might have bought your hysterical anti-human rhetoric, but Bo won’t!” Evony happily reminds Kenzi that Bo isn’t there, “and Trick’s dead, and Dyson’s probably a shag carpet by now.” Kenzi says Hale will save the day then, “the motherflippin’ Ash.” The Morrigan laughs in her face. “Hale’s gone, sweetie. Pissed his leather panties while he begged for his life. Left you, like the coward that he is.” Now she’s getting silly. Kenzi might believe that Trick might be dead, but she’d never believe Hale to be a coward who abandoned her, not now, and especially not after his declaration. Kenzi is much smarter than that—or at least she used to be.
Haltingly, scared to death, Kenzi asks if this is Evony’s end game. “Torture the human for info on—what, exactly?” Evony admits that she has some very specific questions about the “Succuslut’s… lineage.” Snort. Confused, Kenzi recoils. “You wanna talk about Bo?” Evony mocks that she tried “bribery. The Mesmer. A parasite.” Each mention of her attempts on Bo’s life just makes Evony more giddy. “You could try not being such a bitch,” Kenzi grits out. Annoyed, Evony snatches up a tazer. “It’s like the French Revolution all over again, am I right?” she trills. She charges up the tazer and gazes down at it with fondness. “So gratifying when you find pleasure in the little things.” Kenzi is very afraid of where The Morrigan intends to stick the tazer. “Like watching…Channing Tatum dancing in 3D!” she quips, shaking. “Why don’t we start with that?”
Evony steps close and threatens Kenzi with the sparking tazer. “Bo,” she demands. “What?” Kenzi snaps back. “Broke up with (Doctor) Lauren? Can now super suck a crowd? Enjoys watching online cat videos?!” Kenzi rattles off, gathering her courage. “You might as well torture away, honey, ‘cause I ain’t telling you squat!” But The Morrigan has already pinged on the juicy info she’s looking for. “Bo can feed, off multiple chi—at the same time?” she repeats, excited. Realizing she really stepped in it, Kenzi slowly closes her eyes. She grimaces and then shrugs and rallies. “I doubt even Bo could Hoover deep enough to remove those crow’s feet,” she snarls.
Evony wields the tazer at Kenzi and closes in on her beautiful eyeball. But before she can connect, the tazer sputters and dies. “Is this thing on?” she demands of
Steve Bruce, reaching out to successfully taze his large, tattooed arm. Steve Bruce yells with pain and recoils. “I don’t have time for these games!” The Morrigan shouts, ignoring him. “Perhaps the sanctuary is warded,” Steve Bruce suggests. Evony looks around Tolkien’s Lair. “Or the Blood King casts some heavy duty protection spells over his lair. The sanctuary must be warded!” she concludes. “You are so wise ma’am,” Steve Bruce says. HA!! His snark goes right over Evony’s head, who decides that she has what she needs. “You do?!” Kenzi asks, alarmed. Retrieving her shoes, Evony tells Steve Bruce to “take the girl where you can end her…once and for all,” and sashays her way out of Tolkien’s Lair while Steve Bruce glares after her.
Over at Taft’s Evil Lair, Bo is hustled into the library where Taft lounges in the chair feet up on the desk. He introduces himself with great personal satisfaction.
“How’s it hangin’?” he asks grinning. “Judging by your pants, high and to the left,” Bo quips meanly. Ha! Taft laughs appreciatively and when Bo notes without humor that he’s the human behind “all this” he proudly confirms it, “and you’re the latest edition to my collection,” he tells her. But Bo has other plans. “I’m here to get Dyson and no mad scientist can stop me,” she declares, which, naturally, is when Doctor Lauren slinks into the room. “How about a sane one,” she asks quietly.
Suddenly remembering that she’d been worried about the doc up until Dyson got snatched, Bo is surprised if relieved to see her. She moves to hug Doctor Lauren, but the doc puts her arm up between them to hold Bo off without actually looking at her. Bo stops and glances down at the hand. “You came for Dyson,” Doctor Lauren says with a humorless sneer as she slides away to stand next to Taft and finally looks at Bo. “I knew you would,” she says flatly. Despite the fact that the doc broke up with Bo and deliberately left her phone behind when she left her life without telling anyone so that neither Bo nor the Fae could find her, Bo is confused by Doctor Lauren’s closed and cold demeanor. “Actually,” she says tightly, “I traced the number on your phone.” Actually, Dyson found the phone and suggested hunting the doc down through the trace and then Tamsin actually put the trace through. But whatever. “I can save you both,” Bo insists. Taft interrupts to say that actually Doctor Lauren doesn’t need saving. “She’s my partner.” Bo thinks that’s a pretty sick interpretation of the situation. “Actually, it’s a pretty flattering one,” Doctor Lauren counters. “I thought he was my boss.”
This confuses Bo even more. “(Doctor) Lauren, what is this?” she hisses. For the first time since they met, Doctor Lauren is finally, 100%, no holds barred honest with her ex-girlfriend about how she truly feels. “The Fae ruined my life, Bo,” she says. “They have cursed my girlfriend; they have held me prisoner, sometimes literally. And all the while my brain, my…talents…don’t you see? This is a chance for me to do something meaningful. To save my kind.” Bo grabs her arm and insists that Doctor Lauren has been brainwashed. “This is not you!” Doctor Lauren openly mocks her with distain. “Oh please, Bo. Maybe that was our problem.” Only one of many, sweetie. “Do you know that my name isn’t even (Doctor) Lauren?” Taft watches this drama unfold with amusing interest.
By the look of things, some time has passed since Taft shared his oh so sad back story with the doc. She’s had time to think about her situation and what Taft has done and what he yet wants her to do. Knowing Dyson had been captured by Taft, the doc guessed Bo would be on her way to get him; she’s certainly not surprised to overhear Bo declare that intention to Taft. Even so, Doctor Lauren is somewhat playing to him with her little speech. She’d be a fool not to. But she also still means every word. The doc sincerely broke up with Bo before she’d even made the decision to work with Taft and has since acknowledged that she’s felt more fulfilled professionally and personally in the last few days at Taft’s lab than she has in the last eight being aligned with the Fae and Bo. Granted, this was before she realized the man who’d finally brought those feelings to fruition was a right and proper nutter, but the life epiphany she’s had still holds true. Now she’s been crushed by the revelation that Taft has manipulated her so that even if she wanted to, she could never go back to the Fae and expect to live. What choice does she have but to leave the dance with the man that brought her? Plus, this whole small monologue is delivered to Bo straight on with the doc’s back to Taft. She could’ve signaled Bo is some way, but the doc offers no wink wink nudge nudge movement to indicate to Bo that she’s buying time or playing Taft. Because for once she’s actually telling the truth and she means for Bo to believe it with finality.
This revelation that Doctor Lauren isn’t the doc’s real name stops Bo for a moment. “Whoever you are, I know you,” she says with confidence. You really, really don’t. “And I love you,” Bo adds in a last ditched effort. The doc smiles bitterly. “And I loved you,” she says pointedly. Past tense, baby! Turning to Taft, she says this is why she will now do the surgery, “so long as you agree to let Bo go, unharmed.” No, Doctor Lauren!! Bo can take care of herself! She doesn’t need you to “rescue” her! Stop cock blocking Bo!!
At the mention of surgery, Bo goes back to being warily pissed. “What surgery?!” Taft ignores her as he tells the doc “color me skeptical, but why the change of heart?” Doctor Lauren miserably acknowledges that the Fae will never let her live “out there. And here I have the chance to save humanity. And to take out the one man who has stood in my way.” I don’t quite believe her here because we already know that she’s come to some sort of a détente with Dyson and already recognized that while she spent so much time feeling threatened by him in her relationship with Bo, in the end, she (and Bo) was alone responsible for not being able to make it work. That doesn’t mean she won’t sacrifice him if she has to. But in the end, Taft’s sense of vengeance will let him believe a revenge motive over anything else as explanation for Doctor Lauren’s about face.
Bo is catching on and not liking what she’s concluding. “Who?!” she demands to know even as she trembles. “Dyson, Bo!” Doctor Lauren exclaims, heavy with the duh, as she again faces Bo. “I can’t save you both,” she declares, “just like you couldn’t love us both.” Again, the doc means what she says and the fact that this last truth isn’t necessary for Taft’s sake (why would he care about who Bo does or doesn’t love?), drives home its veracity. Bo sees that Doctor Lauren means it and gapes at her as she tears up—who are you?—but the doc is done in more ways than one (hey, that rhymed!). “Good-bye,” she says, slinking past Bo to leave the library. Stunned, Bo stares after her, hurt but finally believing that the break is permanent even as she still tries to process all Doctor Lauren just revealed. Taft clicks his tongue in mock sympathy and orders the hovering guard to take Bo back to her pod. I guess Doctor Lauren’s bargain to “save” Bo didn’t work after all.
“You are a monster,” Bo says shakily as she’s led away, too shocked to resist. “Oh no, not yet!” Taft calls after her as he comes out from behind the desk. “I can’t wait till you see me after, succubus. I think you’ll find me very familiar,” he taunts. Perching on the desk, he picks up an organic feather duster that really looks more like a tail, casually dangles it between his legs and…flicks it up and down. Definitely a euphemism and ewww there, show. Pausing in the door, Bo glares back at him, disgusted, before the guard drags her away.
Taft wanders into a guarded top room of the observatory, massive telescope and all, that’s serving as a surgical theatre. Dyson is strapped down and shackled to…sorry. I went a little off the reservation there for a moment after I typed the phrase “Dyson is strapped down.” Shake it off, shake it off…okay, let’s try this again. Ahem. Taft wanders into a guarded makeshift surgical theatre where Dyson is strapped down (gulp) and shackled to a table and doped to the gills. Wolf in peril! Wolf in peril! The guard walks with Taft over to the table where Dyson struggles weakly and expositions that Dyson took out six of “his men” before they managed to sedate him. “Oh well,” Taft singsongs. “All in the name of science.” He pauses at the end of the table and tickles the bottom of Dyson’s feet. Okay, the tickling amused me. Dyson gasps and growls as he fights the shackles and drugs. “Congratulations, my friend,” Taft crows. “I’m not your friend!” Dyson manages. “No,” Taft agrees. “What you are is the fastest, strongest, most magnificent creature that I have ever encountered.” WE KNOW. I think someone’s got a strong case of Single White Uber-Hero Syndrome.
Dyson tells Taft to do what he wants with the wolf by let the others go. “So noble!” Taft mocks. He leans over Dyson. “I hope that doesn’t rub off on me.” Dyson wolfs out and erupts, snarling and snapping so violently, Taft jumps back. But the shackles hold and Dyson falls back on the table. “I hope that temper doesn’t rub off on me, either,” Taft adds obnoxiously. He grins down at Dyson and looks him over salaciously. “Oh, I cannot wait to be the recipient of all that you have,” he taunts. “I can’t wait to feel what you feel.” Dude, feeling what Dyson feels is not always a fun time. I mean, have you watched season two? Shudder. Dyson grunts and wheezes and rolls his eyes as he falls back under the drugs. “I’ll see you on the other side, my friend,” Taft calls into his face. As he leaves, Dyson, helpless to do anything else moans and groans and howls.
Taft strolls into the pre-op room where Doctor Lauren, already dressed in surgical gown and mask, starts to scrub in. “I do like the wolf, you know,” Taft says to her. Yeah, we noticed. “It would be nice if he survives.” “I wouldn’t bet on it,” Doctor Lauren tosses off casually as she stares straight ahead. Taft considers her but convinced she’s fully on board he leaves her to it. As he exits, she gives him such a death look, well, I wouldn’t want to be unconscious and under her scalpel after that, that’s for sure.
Down in PCC, Bo and Tamsin share a pod. Space is at a premium in PCC. The competition for a spot on the waiting list alone is killer... Tamsin is having a hard time of it and, with a groan, bends over a bit (not like that!) much as she did when she and Dyson first found the Field of Death. “It feels bad in here,” she manages. Bo mocks whether Tamsin is claustrophobic, but the Valkyrie cuts her off. “I lived with death,” she snarls, “and whatever was in here before us begged for it.” Bo dials back to hard sympathy and tells Tamsin to hold it together, “because right now? You are all that I’ve got left.” Tamsin cracks her neck and tries to get settled as Bo takes in their pod…and Aoife comes into view in her pod across and down the aisle. “Bo?” she calls. Bo jerks around and Aoife gasps to see her. “Sweetheart?” she asks. Bo’s mouth drops and she presses up against the glass, mirroring her mother. “Mom?” Aoife starts to spiral as Tamsin sidles up behind Bo. “No, it can’t be! I gave them nothing! I gave them the wolf!” So not exactly nothing there, huh. Tamsin leans over Bo’s shoulder. “You going to introduce me?” she murmurs in an unfriendly voice. Dealing with yet another emotional onslaught, Bo shakily introduces Tamsin to Aoife, “my mom.” Aoife gasps and paces around her pod like a caged animal. Well, if the Fae fits…
“They pit Fae against Fae,” Aoife tells them wildly. “They make us feed off each other. Bo, my daughter! Bo. Keep her from the evil.” Bo earnestly assures Aoife that it’s okay, but he mom disagrees. “You have to leave!” she insists. “If your father was here,” Aoife warns, pointing a finger at Bo, “he would kill them all!” she shouts, looking up at the ceiling toward her invisible but ever-watching captors. “And then resurrect them and kill them again!” she vows. Tamsin’s eyes go wide, her face a picture of horrified knowledge. She knows Aoife’s right; she’s seen Bo’s father do exactly that before. “My father,” Bo whispers, oblivious. Breathing heavily, Aoife leans up against her pod’s glass. “They want powerful? They fear us?! If HE were here…if he were here,” she moans, clearly wishing Bo’s father was there, which is interesting considering how much she hates Bo’s father. “Oh! He would never allow this to happen to his seed.” She cradles her belly as though carrying his child even now. Tamsin looks meaningfully at Bo as she begins to pound on the glass. “Mom, what does this have to do with my father?!” But Aoife has already gone back to her not-so-happy place. She slowly falls to the ground and curls fetal-like in the corner.
Tamsin puts her hand on Bo’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she offers. Bo spins around, shrugs off Tamsin’s hand, and glares at her pod mate. “I don’t need your pity,” she snaps. She glances over at the crying Aoife. “If these assholes want a fight…let’s give ‘em one.” Tamsin looks up from under her eyelids. “Juice me,” she says. Bo steps forward and roughly grabs Tamsin by the knot of her hand. “What are you doing?!” Tamsin grunts. “You really need to learn how to share,” Bo murmurs in her worst sociopathic voice. She kisses Tamsin and while still lip-locked, stabs the Valkyrie in the arm through her jacket sleeve with the needle that none of Taft’s guards seem to have found when they searched her, (and if they didn’t search her then they’re the dumbest guards ever, which is entirely possible.) Look, I’ve had quite a few interactions with needles in my time (not like that!) and never, not once, has anyone stabbed me with it through denim jacket sleeve! Why is that so oft a trope in shows?
As Bo pushes the plunger, she pulls back from the kiss and sucks up Tamsin’s chi. Tamsin whimpers and looks like she’s in pain as Bo’s eyes glow bright succubus blue. As Tamsin gets the last of Massimo’s juice (eww), Bo breaks contact and her eyes go back to brown as shakes herself. Breathless, her eyes watering, Tamsin pulses with the power boost. Basically both of them just had one of the most powerful, supernaturally charged orgasms of their lives. “Hoo,” she grunts and rubs her arm. “That felt like the Trojan War and World War II running through my veins,” Tamsin praises. Eyes glowing blue, Bo nods in agreement. Tamsin bares her teeth at Bo. “Are you really to do this?” Bo sizes her up. “Save it for the big show,” she says. She drops the needle and jumps on Tamsin. Not like that!
Back in the surgical theatre, Dyson rolls his head back and forth and fights the drugs as Doctor Lauren preps him for Taft’s surgery. On the table beside him, Taft is laid out to receive Dyson’s…um…essence. “Don’t struggle, Dyson,” Doctor Lauren advises as she approaches his side, “it’s futile.” I’m ignoring the obvious “resistance is futile” quip here—well, I meant to ignore it. She puts a hand on his shoulder to calm him. Behind her, x-rays of Dyson’s skeleton are up on a light box. He looks up at her and swallows. “(Doctor) Lauren, why?” he manages. She blinks. “Because I’ve injected you with six doses of anesthetic,” she says, dodging the true meaning of his question. He shakes his head with difficulty. That’s not what I meant. She knows what you meant, darling. She doesn’t care. “Don’t do this,” he pleads roughly, too drugged to even focus on her. She smiles slightly but without emotion. “You ready, Isaac?” she asks calmly. Dyson convulses a little under her hand.
It suddenly occurs to Taft that it’s been some time since Doctor Lauren has operated on a human. “Relax,” she suggests with a small, tight smile, “it’s the last time you’ll be human.” Seriously, if this show ever found its gonads and allowed Doctor Lauren to finally go full tilt mad if self-justified scientist, she could be one scary mo fo. Also, one teeny tiny technical hiccup about this procedure: Lost Girl mythology states that a human and Fae can mate and thus mix DNA at the cellular level to create a new child and yet that child will always be human, not Fae, never Fae. But a little bone marrow injection can turn Taft into half of Dyson, hmm? Sure. Whatever. Plot hole drink!
Taft chuckles and Doctor Lauren takes position between the tables. “Extracting bone marrow,” she announces and raises the mask to cover her nose and mouth. I wouldn’t worry, doc, it’s not like that’s a sterile environment in the first place. You didn’t even bother with a cap, not that I blame you. That’s some pretty, pretty hair you’re sporting today.
Doctor Lauren raises the big honking bone marrow extracting needle. What no bone drill? Huh. Would’ve thought that a requirement for a bone marrow extraction, but whatever. Ten squiggly images populate the screen behind her, presumably of Dyson’s insides as they seem to squirm along with his movements. But without consulting these images (where did they put that camera?) and without any precision whatsoever, Doctor Lauren roughly stabs the needle into Dyson’s hip. He howls in pain and I think on some level Doctor Lauren enjoyed that. As he hears the squelching sounds of Doctor Lauren retracting the plunger to suck out Dyson’s marrow, Taft looks over at Dyson writhing in excruciating pain and grins. Yeah, he needs to die, sooner the better.
Down in Tolkien’s Lair, beauty has soothed the savage beast once again as Kenzi works her mojo on
Steve Bruce. “I’m sorry but it has to be done. I have to end this,” he says, repeating a litany. As she bandages his arm from where The Morrigan tazed him, Kenzi tells him it’s better, “but don’t apologize. Be firm. Tell her you expect full severance.” Steve Bruce says The Morrigan will severance his heart from his chest if he actually goes ahead and tries to quit. Kenzi pats his finished triage and invites him to take a look and appreciate her work. “Thanks,” he says, “I hate the sight of blood.” Could he be any sweeter? This reminds Kenzi that she still has all of hers. “Thank goddess for Trick’s ‘anti-violence in the lair’ thingiemaprotectum,” she says, glancing up at the ceiling. “You should thank your hips,” Steve Bruce tells her with an appreciative glance at the body part in question. Legions of men have, dear heart. Kenzi gives him A Look. “Bruce,” she chides, gathering the lapels of her leopard-skin jacket across her chest, “I said we could be friends!” I love that Steve Bruce doesn’t even bother to correct anyone about his name anymore.
But Bruce corrects he didn’t mean that. “I clocked it earlier. Check your pocket.” Kenzi does as he instructs and pulls out the charm Hale slipped into her pocket. “You know,” Bruce says, “from the poem?” He crosses one large, tattooed arm solemnly across his chest, clears his throat, and, as the charm glows, recites: “To Clan Zamora, a gift bestowed; immune to evil deed, to blow. For he who carries sacred twig, immortality shall cling.” Oh Bruce, you can stay. Kenzi is suitably impressed and expresses it in her own special way. “Holy ballsauce, Bruce!” Pleased, Bruce shrugs. “I have a PhD in Medieval Fae Verse.” Of course you do, you adorable hulking, brilliant beast of a man! Kenzi clarifies that what Bruce is saying is that the stick in her hand kept her safe. “Somehow you’ve acquired The Twig of Zamora, which is really weird because traditionally it’s passed down from father to son.”
“Zamora,” Kenzi murmurs. So the twig is the item Dyson displayed to Hale
when they got engaged on behalf of Hale’s father when they had their guy moment together before the failed inauguration. Kenzi looks at the twig. “Oh Hale,” she moans. Bruce wonders what she means. Kenzi grimaces and tears up as she realizes exactly what Hale did while she was accusing him of all manner of things. “He just saved my life,” she whispers to Bruce emotionally.
Back in PCC, Bo throws Tamsin up against the glass wall of their pod. “Hey!” Cell Guard #1 (not to be confused with Blackwater Type #1) shouts as Tamsin whirls and backhands Bo across the pod. “Quit it, or we bring in the dogs!” Cell Guard #2 sneers, “For all we know, they are dogs.” He pounds on the glass and shouts that this Fae Fight is unauthorized. Will there be a fine? His interruption breaks Bo and Tamsin apart from choking each other. Inexplicably, beyond it being in the script, Cell Guard #2 keys open the pod and the rest all draw their weapons as Bo and Tamsin calmly climb out. “Your move, Valkyrie,” Bo drawls to Tamsin with no small amount of anticipation. Her eyes go succubus blue as Tamsin smiles and then gets her Skeletor face on. “You’ve disappointed me. You’ve failed. You should be unconscious by now,” she tells Cell Guard #1 casually. The guard drops to the floor. Tamsin turns her Skeletor face on each other guard in turn and they follow suit and pass out. The two woman spin around in tandem and Tamsin aims her skull face down the other direction to knock out the rest of the gathered guards. Apparently everyone came running just to make things easier. Bo’s eyes still glow succubus blue and I wonder if she’s feeding off the power, maybe somehow still connected with Tamsin since she sucked her chi while juicing the Valkyrie up. As the last guard falls, Bo shrugs. “Nice job,” she quips. Taming turns toward her game face dialing back to normal. At the same time, Bo’s eyes go back to brown. Hmm.
But wiping out the group of guards has taxed Tamsin to the—um—bone. She cries out and falls to the floor, gasping for air and clinging to the side of the pod. Bo crouches before her and helps Tamsin to sit upright. “If you find Dyson?” Tamsin grits out. “He has my Wilco bootleg.” Snicker. She passes out. Bo cradles her head, chanting “no, no, no, come on!” but a look of horror comes over her as she draws back and takes strands of Tamsin’s hair with her. She glances around at the other pods and realizes she has an army of Fae at her disposal. Grabbing the key off the guard’s belt, she uses it to release the rest of the pods. As Aoife and the others emerge, Bo hurries back to Tamsin. Sunitha the cabbit hurries down the aisle to help another Fae. “Bless you, child, you really are the chosen one,” she calls to Bo, never mind that it’s Tamsin who did all the work. Bo glances up, sees her mother, and abandons the unconscious Valkyrie on the floor. “Where will we go?” Aoife asks desperately as Bo puts her arm around the woman who, the last time they were together, tried to kill Bo and succeeded in raping her boyfriend, and leads her away. “Anywhere but here,” she vows.
Bo rushes into the library, Aoife on her heels, and right past the guard who is startled by their sudden entrance but hurries up to grab both of them by the arm. But Bo is transfixed by the sight of Taft, giddy and wriggling behind the desk. Wow, that is some major recovery mojo you got there, Taft. It’s a wonder you even thought you needed to become Fae. “Who let my pets loose?” he says obnoxiously. Breathing heavily, he tells the guard that “there’s no need to restrain the succubus,” and Bo jerks loose of his hold. The guard moves to stand by the far door as Taft leers at Bo. “She’ll be my first test.” Bo quips that she normally doesn’t do virgins. Taft grins and wiggles. “Don’t you want to…take a little dance with the…new me? Huh? Or would you rather mate…first?” What the huh now?
Taft speed streaks over to a shelf and picks up a knife. Bo gapes at him. “What did (Doctor) Lauren do to you?” she asks. That ain’t a wolf move, sweetie. “I am reborn!” Taft announces. “I’m Fae!” Bo sighs audibly. “Oh, take it from me. The learning curve is brutal.” Taft twitches in place. “And I’m a quick study and I need to get through that door right now,” he rambles, pointing at the door behind Bo. She takes two steps toward him. “Then you’ll have to get through me first.” Taft’s really okay with that. “Awesome!” he shouts and jumps in place with glee. Ha! I just love Doyle’s delivery there. Taft is churning with Fae juice (eww) and his physiology is going as bat shit crazy as he is, and all he can do is hang on for the ride. “As you wish,” he says more calmly. (I should’ve started a drinking meme for Princess Bride shout outs three or four episodes ago. We’d all be totally soused by now.)
He quick hops (ohhhhhhhhhh I geddit!) his way over and lunges the knife at Bo’s belly. But at the last minute, and with the obligatory shouted “NO!” Aoife yanks Bo out of the way and takes the blow herself glaring up at Taft with bared teeth as she falls back into Bo’s arms. No Aoife! I realize you haven’t been around for a while, but Bo can take care of herself! Just wait, she’s going to tell you any second now! Annnnnnyyyy second now. She doesn’t need you to cock block her and take a deep wound in her place. You’re infringing on her agency! Let her get stabbed! Oh wait, no, that double standard is reserved only for those moments when Dyson mistakenly protects Bo at great cost to himself. Right, sorry. Carry on!
Bo falls to the ground under Aoife’s miniscule weight and cradles her mother in her arms. With a crash, the door behind the guard slams open. A newly bandaged (it’s the least you could do, doc) Dyson plunges into the room and snaps the guard’s neck before anyone ever realizes he’s there. No, stop Dyson! Bo can take care of herself! She doesn’t need—oh for crying out loud, give me a break. Let’s just all finally agree to let that blatantly hypocritical lie of Bo’s go before it gets even more ridiculous than it already is, ‘kay?
Wait, how’d Dyson get free? Couldn’t have been Doctor Lauren; she had him doped to the gills so she could harvest his bone marrow against his will. Not the kind of thing that lends itself to a last minute assist. Plus they were both under heavy guard and even those guys would’ve noticed if she’d set him free right before their eyes. Even if we allow the extremely unlikely scenario that she did free him and was lying to Bo with that final speech, the first thing Doctor Lauren would’ve done is immediately go with Dyson to find Bo. If nothing else, Dyson would never have left the doc behind unprotected with all the remaining guards who were not already down in PCC to get Valkyried by Tasmin. And yet he shows up in the library alone.
Far more likely that after injecting Taft, Doctor Lauren went back on the run or possibly is some place waiting for Bo and Dyson to take care of Taft so that she might take over his operation. She’s certainly nowhere to be seen now. She can’t go back to the Fae, that’s been made epically clear, and going by that death look she gave Taft before surgery, I suspect she burned that bridge to the ground too.
But that still doesn’t explain how Dyson got free. He has before displayed the strength when wolfed out to punch through a metal door. If the doc’s six doses of sedative worn off sooner than Taft and she expected, it tracks that he could’ve broken loose from the metal shackles—he definitely has the same if not greater rage level as he did for the metal door incident. He’s certainly not drugged up anymore when he bursts into the library, which indicates that some time has passed since he was strapped on the table—and I should hope so as a bone marrow extraction, transplant, and initial recovery would take more than a few minutes , Fae or not.
Ergo, we have to allow for some significant amount of time to have passed between when Doctor Lauren left Bo in the library with Taft to prep for and perform the procedure and when Bo returned to the library with Aoife post Bo and Tamsin’s pod escape, during which Dyson could very well have metabolized even the doc’s increased dosage and freed himself. Or, like other Fae before him (the cabbit, the guy with no leg below the knee), Dyson could have been returned to his pod post-experiment and still under heavy sedation to be later released. The cabbit’s pod was next to his and she had to run down the aisle to get to where Bo and Tamsin were caged, so it tracks that neither Dyson nor Bo would know the other was there. He could have been released with the other prisoners none the wiser when Bo keyed open the door and immediately fled with Aoife back to the library where Dyson soon after burst in through the opposing library door from where Bo entered (coming from a different direction as he left PCC from the opposite end) and now we've come full circle. Ah, Lost Girl. So many plot holes; only a few believable scenarios. Plot hole drink!
Where was I? Oh, right, Taft’s library.
“ARGH!!” Dyson shouts at Taft in a ferocious growl as he drops the guard’s body to the ground. Taft takes one look at the enraged, half naked, growling—Splash—wolf and rightly runs for his life. Dyson growls and glares but drops it all when he looks at Bo. “Bo!” he calls, mildly surprised as he didn’t even know she was there in the first place. Are you all right? Very carefully, Bo raises her gaze to his. “Whatever he is?” she says to Dyson, “needs to die.” Dyson doesn’t hesitate but immediately wolfs out and lopes off after Taft. Bo tears up and holds Aoife, pressing against her stomach wound as her mother bleeds out. Chi time, anyone?!
“Mom, can you hear me?” Bo asks the nearly unconscious but now calm woman in her lap. “Of course I can, Isabeau,” Aoife murmurs. “You know that was my mother’s name,” she says. Bo tearfully gasps that she knows, “Trick told me everything!” Behind them, a mysteriously revived Tamsin eases into the room accompanied by Sunitha the cabbit. Plot hole drink! “Trick,” Aoife moans weakly. “Look out for him, Bo,” she warns, or advises, it’s hard to tell with Aoife. One moment she’s violating your man, the next she’s enduring torture for your sake. She’s tricksy that way. Aoife whimpers and passes out while a once again confused Bo wonders who it is she’s supposed to look out for, “Trick? Taft?! My father??” Tamsin crouches behind her and rubs her back. “We have to get out of here,” she says quietly. Crying, Bo refuses to leave Aoife “in this place. I left her once before and look what happened.”
“This place,” Tamsin says very deliberately, “took her mind and her strength. But Aoife held on just long enough to protect you. Do not let that be in vain.” As she speaks, Sunitha the cabbit settles down on the floor on the other side of Aoife. She generously agrees to stay with Aoife in Bo’s place. “None of us will get out of here if you do not.” Presumably she means to wait until Bo gets back with—what? She’s found Dyson and sent him after Taft; she now knows for sure that Doctor Lauren is not lost but went off the reservation under her own free will and remains there by her own choice. Tamsin’s wiped out the guards, the other Fae have been freed from their pods…what’s left to do other than to gather up Aoife and Sunitha the cabbit and get the holy hell out of—um—hell?! Eh, whatever. Plot hole, drink!
Bo thanks her and carefully shifts Aoife into Sunitha the cabbit’s lap. “Oh Mom, I am so sorry,” she whispers. Yeah, you say that now… “It’s time to go,” Tamsin says and Bo pats Sunitha the cabbit on the shoulder and rises. “I’m ready to end this,” Tamsin announces as she leads the way out of the library. Bo pauses on the threshold to glance back at Aoife and Sunitha the cabbit. “Let’s GO!” Tamsin shouts from off screen and Bo sighs heavily but flounces out the door in the Valkyrie’s wake. Left alone with Aoife, Sunitha the cabbit tenderly strokes her forehead…until Aoife suddenly rouses, reaches up and grabs the back of Sunitha the cabbit’s neck, and ruthlessly and violently sucks her chi down. There she is!
“Oh, this place is a freaking maze,” Tamsin sighs as she and Bo enter the operating theatre. Bo observes in an echo that this is the operating room. “Sorry,” Tamsin snarks. “I don’t think Doctor Frankenbitch is here.” HAAAA! Oh man, I LOVE that moniker. If Doctor Lauren does go all mad scientist, I am totally using it. Maybe even if she doesn’t… “Besides,” Tamsin continues, “I told you: It’s time to go.” Slowly, Bo cants her head around. “And where might that be?” Tamsin sniffs scornfully. “Wherever he wants you.” Bo turns all the way around to face Tamsin. “I knew you’d betray me,” she says and Tamsin simply hums and says that Bo played it well, “you’re smart. I always liked that about you.”
They begin to walk a slow circle in a pre-battle ramp up. “And I’ve always known that I couldn’t trust you,” Bo counters. Tamsin smiles without humor. “Well, you should’ve learned from The
YDawning,” she taunts. “Trust your instincts.” They stop circling and Bo promises that she won’t go easy. “I know,” Tamsin chirps. She pulls the rune glass from her pocket. Guess the guards missed that too. “That’s why I brought this.” She holds up the rune glass. “One hair from someone you trust, two from someone you love, and three from your own head. Woven together by the kiss of someone who will never betray you.” Funny, I could swear I heard Acacia instruct Tamsin that it was one hair from someone she loves, two from someone she trusts, and three from Bo’s own head. So did Tamsin accidentally get it wrong, deliberately get it wrong, or did the writers forget to watch their own show again? Actually, at this point, either scenario could be true. Plot hole drink!
Tamsin glances at the rune glass and then, without warning, throws on the floor at Bo’s feet. It shatters and gold sparks dance in the air to cover Bo and—absolutely nothing happens. Tamsin’s grimaces but doesn’t look overly upset. “Never knew a druid mix to be a dud before.” Yeah, how ‘bout that. “Maybe he fudged the recipe,” Bo suggests, a tad incredulous. “Or maybe you just don’t love and trust the way you claim,” Tamsin snaps back. “Oh this isn’t about me, Tam Tam,” Bo sneers. They start to walk the slow circle again. “This is about you.” Tamsin chuckles meanly. “That taste, on your lips,” Bo continues, “those feelings of doubt? Kinda sucks, huh?”
Tamsin bares her teeth. “I’ll just have to take you down old school,” she decides and looks quite pleased by the idea. “I am stronger and older.” “All I just heard?” Bo taunts “was old.” Tamsin loses the smile and, exhaling loudly through her nose, glares at Bo. “Baby Fae,” she mocks. “Dead woman,” Bo returns with bite. With a shout, Bo and Tamsin lunge at one another at the same time.
Annnnddddd they’re off!
Trunknapped, Trick grouses in captivity whilst gripping a dagger whose hilt glows with a succubus blue stone. “Blood King bested by a car trunk,” he scoffs. “Not on my watch!” He hears the slow walk of an approaching assailant. “I warn you!” he calls out. “There will be no mercy for someone who abducts me from my own place of sanctuary!” The trunk pops open and Trick braces for a fight…just as Hale (HALE!) ducks into view. “No need to go all Wrath of the Titans, old man,” he teases. Trick collapses back with relief. “It’s only me,” Hale finishes wielding that beautiful siren smile. Trick laughs and orders Hale to get him out of there.
Back in Taft’s Evil Lair’s operating theatre, Tamsin goes flying over the surgical tools trolley. She climbs to her feet with a battle grin as she pulls her hair free of its bindings. Ohhhh, Valkyrie’s hair is on the loose! Shit’s getting’ real now! She shakes her hair and, with a snarl, races back across the room to tackle Bo. She slams Bo into a metal cabinet. “You don’t want to fight me,” she says as her face goes all Skeletor. “You want to succumb.” But the Valkyrie face has no affect on Bo. “What I want,” she says, eyes going succubus blue, “is your hideous Skeletor face out of mine!” She knocks Tamsin back with a right cross, but it’s not enough to get loose and Tamsin once again shoves her up against the cabinet. “Impressive,” she admires breathing hard. “But you can’t resist me forever.”
“That’s my line,” Bo says. She grabs the back of Tamsin’s neck and starts to suck her down. But Tamsin shakes her off and throws Bo across the room. “Tastes like fear to me!” Bo trash talks. “Delicious.” Tamsin snarls “playtime’s over,” and straight kicks at Bo before putting a roundhouse in her face. Bo falls onto another trolley and comes up swinging a tray that she clocks across Tamsin’s face. Tamsin falls back, grabs the metal stairs that lead to the top of the large telescope and kicks Bo with both feet. Bo falls back on the trolley. Picking up random items, she throws them at Tamsin and follows through bashing the Valkyrie back against the wall so hard it cracks. She punches Tamsin in the face, but the Valkyrie tosses her back across the room and into the metal door. With a scream, she kicks at Bo who barely manages to roll out of the way before Tamsin’s long leg goes right through the door. Off balance now, Tamsin is easily pushed to the ground where Bo straddles her. With a satisfied smile, she jerks Tamsin up by the lapels of her jacket as her eyes go succubus blue.
Tamsin pants as she stares up at her and waits for Bo to suck her down. Bo hesitates. Tamsin looks too much like she did when she was drunk in Bo’s bathroom: defeated, lost, and very alone. Bo’s eyes go brown. “Oh no,” she says quietly. She drops Tamsin to the ground. “C’mon,” Tamsin urges without moving. “Finish it!” she screams. But Bo shakes her head. “I’m not doing that. And you don’t want to do this!” She slides off of Tamsin. “You can stop too!” she urges. Tamsin rears up brandishing one of her jagged half-circle blades and holds it against Bo’s throat. “Shut up!”
“You have a choice,” Bo says very carefully, breathing hard. “I’m already dead,” Tamsin sneers. “You are more alive than anyone I have ever met,” Bo retorts with feeling. Without moving her blade, Tamsin starts to cry. “I don’t know what to do,” she cries. But Bo does. “Fight,” she says very intensely. Slowly, Tamsin lowers the blade from Bo’s throat. Relieved, Bo relaxes and then squeezes Tamsin’s arm. “It’s okay,” she reassures, but Tamsin’s knowledge in this is greater than hers. “No,” she whispers. “No, no, I’ve cursed us. You have no idea. He’s gonna come after us.”
Bo grabs Tamsin by both arms and gives her a shake. “You listen to me,” she orders. “We need to get the team back together.” Yes!! That is SUCH a good idea! “Regroup!” She shakes a still crying Tamsin again. “Okay?! Somewhere safe.” Tamsin works to get control of her emotions. “Safe?” she whispers as though she’s never known such a place. “Yeah,” Bo answers quietly. They both nod repeatedly. “Okay,” Tamsin agrees, equally quiet, and then more strongly, “I’m gonna get Dyson.” It’s just one good idea after another here. FINALLY. Bo nods. “And I’ll find Kenzi,” Bo vows. It’s a good idea hat trick!! Goooooaaaaalllllll!!!!!!!
Plan in place, they get to their feet. “What about (Doctor) Lauren,” Tamsin asks, a little too carefully. Bo pauses a moment. Oh yeah, (Doctor) Lauren. “I don’t know where they took her,” Bo admits with a surprising lack of the worry she displayed the last time she didn’t know where to find Doctor Lauren. Tamsin stares intently at Bo. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met,” she says emotionally, “in any of my many lifetimes.” Deeply affected by Tamsin’s words, Bo steps forwards slowly—Tamsin, who hurt you? Being Bo, for a moment it appears she’s about to kiss Tamsin, who for her part, appears more emotionally invested in the moment than sexually. Tamsin’s never enjoyed locking lips with Bo; there’s always this sneer of disgust on her face during and certainly after. She gets off on the power boost, absolutely, but what draws her to Bo isn’t a romantic or sexual connection. It’s like connecting to like in some ways—strong women who wield unusual powers even in their Fae world. But Tamsin is like a foster child who’s never known real stability or been given any true love or even affection. Even Acacia was prepared to beat her up for her own needs. And nobody has ever tried to protect Tamsin from anything much less shown her genuine care. It’s why she went for Dyson’s throat when he showed sincere interest in her emotional state—she actually doesn’t know how to handle it. Bo’s nobility, as Tamsin sees it, her willingness to buck every system to protect her people, pulls Tamsin to her. She wants to be part of the Happy Sunshine Gang with all her heart and Bo is the core of that.
Tamsin holds Bo’s gaze for a charged moment and starts to tear up again before she breaks the spell with a hard exhale. “Let’s go!” she declares, and bumps Bo’s shoulder as she runs out of the operating theatre to track down Dyson. “Meet me at The Dal (drink!),” Bo calls and takes off in the other direction.
“My last piece of business as Acting Ash was to protect the Blood King from the clutches of the Dark,” Hale explains as he and Trick wander across a random and wet parking lot to what looks like a 1950s Oldsmobile—complete with fins. “Last piece?!” Trick exclaims as someone new pulls into the lot. Hale just shrugs. “Turns out politics wasn’t my thing.” Trick wonders what they’re going to do now as the new arrival pulls up beside them. Hale looks at Trick and then looks pointedly at the car. Trick turns around as the window rolls down and—say! It’s Stella! Wearing a hot pink fur stole. I do love that woman. She smiles at Trick as he calls her name and opens her door. Trick slides inside to kiss her deeply. Aw. I love Trella. “Stella’s got a gig in Scotland,” Hale expositions and adds that it’s “as good a place as any to hide out in until this battle is won.” Would that be the battle with the humans Evony just declared persona non grata, or the one yet to officially begin with the Dark, because either works!
Trick and Hale shake on it. “You were wrong,” Trick tells him. “You would’ve made a great Ash.” Hale smiles softly. “Later,” he offers with shades of his old self. “I gotta go see about a girl.” It’s Kenzi, right? OF COURSE it’s Kenzi!! Trick calls Hale back and asks about The Morrigan. “Ah, don’t worry about it,” Hale drawls as he draws out his mobile. “Got a guy on the inside.” He hits a button and strolls away as the phone rings.
It’s Vex!! VEX IS BACK!!!! And he’s—in Evony’s bedroom?! The Andrews Sisters sing along with the big bang as Vex takes Hale’s call. “Her Royal Thighness is ready for delivery, hey provided we’re clear on what I get for playing my part, Hale,” he warns. With a wave of his hand and a twirl of his finger, Vex brings a bound and gagged Evony spinning into view and throws her across the bed. It’s a fully charged Vex!! “Aw, stop struggling, dearest,” he taunts as he leaps up on her headboard. “You bruise so easily.” He goes back to his conversation with Hale and agrees that whatever Hale is saying sounds acceptable. “Yeah, we’ll hash it out over a nice cuppa tea, Hale. Ta!” he singsongs. Disconnecting, he growls playfully at Evony. “Oh, it’s like MY BIRTHDAY!” he shouts, leaping up to bounce down on the bed behind her. “La Shoshain! And the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre!” He leans over her head and sparks the tazer all too close to her eyeball. “All rolled into one,” he growls and Evony moans with distress as he sparks the tazer. I freaking missed Vex!
Outside in the bright sunlight, which is in direct contrast to the rainy setting in which we just left Hale, Trick and Stella, but whatever, Taft flees through the field, Dyson in hot (very hot) pursuit. Abruptly, Taft halts. “Hang on, hang on!” he shouts at Dyson. Oy! There are no time outs here! “You can’t kill me!” Taft insists. I’m thinking he can, pal. “I’m pretty sure I can,” Dyson drawls, almost amused. See?! Taft insists that he and Dyson are now connected. “Brothers.” Dyson looks Taft up and down with disgust. “You were right about one thing,” he admits. Taft wonders what that is. Dyson inhales Taft’s scent deeply to be sure before he continues. “Doctor Lewis, she is a genius.” His head jerks when he says this and by the look on his face, he does not mean it as a compliment. “She somehow managed to mix Fae DNA with yours.” Taft knows this. “I can feel it!” he exclaims. Dyson saunters up to get in Taft’s face. “But it wasn’t mine,” he snarls. “You’re half human…and half cabbit.”
Hang on. Lemme get this straight. In addition to abusing Dyson as a guinea pig for a painful experiment, Doctor Lauren also victimized and violated a vulnerable Fae prisoner to harvest and steal her bone marrow as backup, a woman who had no means of defense or consent and had already been experimented on and/or set to fight for her life by Taft in ThunderFaedome (hence the wound), not to mention the fact that her husband had been sacrificed in order to capture Dyson in the first place. Did I get that right? Thought so. Wow. Just—um—wow.
Where and when did she have the chance to harvest Sunitha the cabbit’s DNA anyway? The experiment to transfer Fae DNA required a painful bone marrow extraction from Dyson, one of the strongest Fae around. Are we supposed to believe Doctor Lauren was able to, at best, get enough DNA in approximately ten minutes from blood collected by doctoring the cabbit’s side while in a monitored cell even though I’m pretty sure (though, granted, don’t know for certain) that you can’t get stem cells from blood? Or at worst, that she performed the bone marrow procedure unnoticed while either she or Sunitha were under constant guard in a glass pod cell?! Oy, my head. Plot hole drink!
Taft’s face falls. “No,” he denies. Dyson nods. Oh yes. “No!” Taft shouts in Dyson’s face, forgetting for a moment to be afraid. Dyson gets even closer. “Despite you forcing them to do it,” he says in a quiet, enraged voice, “Fae don’t usually eat Fae. But for you?” He snarls and grits his teeth. “I think I’m gonna make an exception.” He hisses at Taft who postures that he’s a billionaire, “understand me? I’m a billionaire!” he shouts as Dyson keeps moving forward, leading from the hip, step by slow step, menacing Taft, cornering his prey. Hot Tattoo Alert!! “I could make it worthwhile,” Taft promises, “for you!”
But Dyson is barely even bothering to hold himself back. “Best thing I can offer you is a head start,” he says in THAT VOICE, his ever more quiet delivery a marked contrast to Taft’s blubbering noise. “Not gonna make a real difference but at least it’ll make it more fun.” Dyson taunts. Seeing that there’s no hope, Taft takes off, bouncing up the hill like—well, like a bunny. Ding ding DING! Ricochet Rabbit! Satisfied, Dyson watches his prey run. “For me,” he adds softly. I love how KHR delivers his lines in this sequence. Dyson is so enraged on so many levels; it’s gone beyond the easy out of shouts and growls, like he’s only barely holding on to his human side. But he knows he has Taft and is just toying with him and that’s all wolf. With all the time in the world, he slowly saunters up the small hillock. Shoulders flex and grow. Arms lengthen. Fingers stretch. Dyson’s chest contorts as he growls and wolfs out, breaking into a run. Taft flees through the grass, looking over his shoulder to see—an actual wolf. Dyson has gone full lupine! Love it! He hasn’t done that since the second episode of the first season! Yay! Get ‘em!
Kenzi hustles down a random and rainy street, Bruce at her side. “Watch out for surprise attacks,” she warns. “Surprise?” Bruce repeats, amused. “I’m huge. I don’t do stealth.” Hee. With her hand on his admittedly huge arm, Kenzi assures him that she’ll be fine. “You have to go! If The Morrigan finds out you helped me…!” Bruce reminds her that The Morrigan just declared Kenzi an enemy of the realm. “I’m not leaving your side till you’re safe,” he vows. “You’re tough, Kenzi, but you’re human.” Kenzi grouses that she won’t be for much longer and Bruce immediately demands to know what she means. Caught, Kenzi admits that she met someone. “He said he could make me Fae, and I think I’m gonna take him up on it.” Bruce advises that it’s a bad idea. “Yeah, I’ll probably owe Massimo for the rest of my life,” Kenzi agrees, “but –” Alarmed, Bruce cuts her off. “Massimo the druid?” he repeats. “Really bad idea.” Because she knows he’s right, Kenzi goes on the defensive. “Yeah well, my friends need me, Bruce, they need me to nut up—do the rescuing for once! And I can’t! I can’t when I’m…” she holds out her arms to indicate her humanness, “this!” Honey, you rescue them all the time. You pulled Bo back from the brink with just your voice the very first time you met her. You found a way to pull a broken and bleeding Dyson out from under a pack of Garuda Fae when everyone else had given him up. The only thing you have to be to be exactly what they need is Kenzi.
Bruce refuses to allow Kenzi to meet Massimo alone. “Well, it’s a long walk,” she says. Bruce smiles all smug. “Who’s walking?” he teases and beeps open a nearby Ferrari parked right in front of a “No Parking Between Signs” sign. Heh. “The Morrigan’s new toy,” Bruce explains as Kenzi gapes. “And you get to drive,” he adds, handing the keys out to Kenzi. “Oh,” she gasps. “I love you.” Bruce: “I love you too, Kenzi.” Kenzi: “I was talking to the car.” She hustles over to the driver’s seat as Bruce grimaces and curses himself: “Idiot!” SUCH a sweetheart! We miss the treat of watching Bruce fit his huge self into the small sports car. “Just— try to keep it on the road,” he warns Kenzi as he buckles his seatbelt. Sunglasses in place, Kenzi checks her look in the rear-view mirror. “Roads,” she scoffs and guns the engine. “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” Gold star for Kenzi for the Back to the Future shout out! She peels the car away from the curb with a squeal of tires on asphalt.
Dyson loops around a large bush and pulls up, almost stumbling to a halt as he ducks under some low hanging branches with a deep sigh. Interestingly, despite having gone the full lupine, he’s back in his tuxedo trousers, which he’s been wearing ever since he got abducted from The Dal (drink!). Guess he went back for his clothes…damn it. “I don’t remember calling in for a ride,” he drawls, ambling up to lean in the open window of Tamsin’s truck. Tamsin smiles without looking at him. “Get in,” she orders and he does. He tongues gristle from his cheek and plunks a piece of Taft from his teeth, tossing it out the window. Snort. Nice touch there, KHR. Tamsin fires up the truck and Dyson turns in his seat to look her up and down, taking in the bruises and bumps Bo left on her. “You’re looking pretty rough,” he notes as the truck pulls round a corner. On cue Tamsin snarks that he should’ve seen the other guy. “I bet,” Dyson says sincerely.
“I’m so stubborn,” Tamsin moans. Dyson glances over. Could you be more specific? “Should’ve expired years ago,” she tells him. “Now there’s nowhere to run.” Dyson puts his hand on her shoulder in comfort. “Whatever it is,” he promises, “we’ll get through it together.” Tamsin flexes her hand on the steering wheel. Together.
This is where, for the first time, it occurs to me that if Lost Girl is truly interested in pushing boundaries and ballsy enough to be genuinely sexually “progressive” and explore a ploy relationship for Bo, this right here are partners one and two. Unlike Doctor Lauren, Bo and Dyson both have an emotional commitment to Tamsin that, like their respective relationships with Kenzi, exists outside of their situation with each other. Much like they often wind up parenting Kenzi by default, they each feel a similar protectiveness toward Tamsin who, as stated earlier, has never known that kind of affection. I’m not saying Dyson and Tamsin should bang; again, like with Kenzi, that would ruin the bond they’ve painstakingly built all season and be a little gross given their clear filial affection for one another. But I can see Dyson accepting Tamsin as a partner for Bo in addition to him…I can see her as their third.
From the first, it’s Dyson who’s been the one to continually remind Bo her nature precludes her from monogamy, so it’s not like he hasn’t thought about how he might make something with her work long term that makes adjustments for both their natures. Since losing his love and getting it back, he’s emerged a much more mature, settled wolf, able to adjust and accept situations involving Bo some for which even she isn’t yet prepared to make allowances. Tamsin is the perfect solution, a woman he trusts as his partner and cares for as his friend. She intrigues Bo too, rousing her protective and succubus instincts. The power surge alone that she gets from Tamsin is enough for Bo to want her, but she also feels a kinship to the lost Valkyrie and an instinct to help her find her way, much as Bo is still finding hers. Tamsin knows how much Dyson loves Bo and she has no illusions about Bo’s feelings for Dyson or Doctor Lauren. Our boy. Your (Doctor) Lauren. Her feelings for Bo are complex and complicated and yet to be defined, though again, I think the sexual component is low, low on the list. But above anything else, Tamsin wants to be part of the Happy Sunshine Gang. And together, Bo and Dyson could give her that—in several different ways.
Almost, I’d like to see that.
Meanwhile, back in the truck, the radio pops on unasked and cranks out Dion’s The Wanderer. Tamsin frowns at the radio and Dyson follows her gaze. “That song,” she murmurs ominously. “I heard this during Bo’s Dawning,” Dyson updates her, wary. Tamsin starts to quietly freak out. As the truck rounds another corner, a man comes into view in the distance. Tamsin tears up with fear. “It’s Bo’s father,” she announces. “What?!” Dyson snaps. But Tamsin has made an awful epiphany of her own. “You know,” she grits out, “we all have to make choices.” She puts the pedal down and the speedometer rises. “Tamsin, what are you doing?” Dyson asks without taking his eyes from the man who is rapidly getting closer. Tamsin doesn’t answer, merely urges the truck ever faster. We see the man again, and it’s clearly the same image as was on The Wanderer tarot card come to life. “Tamsin,” Dyson says again with rising alarm. “We all gotta die sometime,” she sneers. “Tamsin, stop the car!” Dyson shouts. But she races it even faster. “Slow down!” he yells and finally “TAMSIN!” as she careens the truck into The Wanderer—who immediately dissolves into smoke.
The smoke fills the cabin, blinding and choking Tamsin so that the truck swerves wildly. Dyson too is engulfed by smoke. He roars and his eyes turn gold as he reflexively wolfs out moments before the truck sails off the edge of the cliff. Smoke streams out the open windows as the trunk plunges down the cliff to crash its nose into the ground and land upside down crushing the cab to bits. With its tires spinning, green mist oozes from the car. Neither Dyson nor Tamsin are anywhere in sight.
Bo rushes into The Dal (drink!) shouting for Kenzi. Why is anyone’s guess, as Kenzi told her last that she was in Tent City, but let’s give Bo the benefit of the doubt that she might’ve gone there first to look for her and come up empty. “Trick?!” Bo yells when Kenzi doesn’t answer. “Damn it! Where are you guys?” Bo wonders aloud as she drags out her mobile and starts dialing. All the doors suddenly slam shut and the old time radio cranks up to play—you guessed it—The Wanderer. But Bo’s had about enough of this shit too. And as the song gets stuck skipping over the phrase “they don’t even know my name,” Bo gets a crafty look in her eye. “You’re right,” she allows. The song unskips itself and carries on into the chorus: “they call me The Wanderer, yeah-heah, the Wanderer…”
“But when I find out, you are in serious shit, Wanderer,” she promises. The song fades to background as a tarot card slowly drifts down from the ceiling to land on the floor at Bo’s feet. Crouching down, she places her phone on the floor and picks up the card to see the same tarot card featuring The Wanderer. Unimpressed, she looks out from the corner of her eye. “Cards and music?” she calls out. “You got anything other than parlo(u)r tricks?” But the sneer has barely formed before an explosion erupts out from the back of the bar. (Closed captions: BOOM. Heeeeee.) Lights, glass, chandeliers and sconces all explode. Bo crouches low and covers her head until the explosions stop. Gasping, she glances around at the carnage and frowns as the Black Smoke Monster swirls out and around her. Slowly she gets to her feet and the smoke rises with her, binding her arms to her body and stealing her breath to leave her choking and whimpering as it covers her completely only to dissipate and reveal that Bo has disappeared. In the now empty Dal (drink!), the tarot card drifts down to lay amongst shards of glass. Only now, the image has changed. The Wanderer is no longer in the center of the card. Instead he’s been moved to the left and standing at his right-hand, gazing with him over the cliff, is Bo. Dun dun DUN!
In summary, at season’s end, Kenzi and Bruce are headed to meet Massimo so that Kenzi can maybe make a deal with him to become Fae. Aoife is alive and well and at large and possibly still cray, possibly restored. Trick and Stella (Trella) are off to Scotland where the Blood King can hide out until all of “this” is over. Vex is entertaining Evony in a little threat and bondage and probably a lot of sexy times. Hale is searching for Kenzi. Dyson and Tamsin have Thelma and Louised themselves over a cliff in Tamsin’s truck, but were likely plucked from the cab at the last minute by The Wanderer’s Black Smoke Monster, which means their fates are in his hands. Bo too has been captured by The Wanderer and, to all extents and purposes, installed as his enforcer. And Doctor Lauren has permanently broken with both Bo and the Fae. As his acknowledged partner, she theoretically has the dead Taft’s resources and lab at her disposal, and, having successfully created the first human/Fae hybrid, is yet at large with a hefty sample of Dyson’s bone marrow rich with DNA in her possession…
Oh yeah. This is bound to end well for sure.
Housekeeping note: S4 is GO for Lost Girl! Filming is slated to begin mid-June (Anna Silk’s baby is due mid-May). Season 4 will debut in the U.S. in 2014. Be sure to check out Heroes and Heartbreakers continuing coverage in the meantime. Happy Hiatus everyone!
Lost Girl airs Mondays at 10 p.m. EST on SyFy