This post contains SPOILERS for all aired episodes of Scandal, including last night's Season 2, episode 13, “Nobody Likes Babies.”
You’d think with all the action that went on in the “Truth or Consequences” episode last week Shonda Rhimes would ease us into this week’s #Gamechanger episode of Scandal, but with the episode title of “Nobody Likes Babies,” we all really should have known better.
Scandal opened just where we left off last week—Hollis is on the elevator with gun for hire Charlie when in walks Huck. Guns are drawn and Huck gives Hollis a deal: Hollis can promise to shut it and never say a word about the election rigging and Huck will watch his back and save him from Charlie. Old Hollis may be a blowhard but he’s no dummy.
We then cut to the White House and it looks like Mini Fitz—at only about a minute old—is ready to make his media debut. The People’s Baby poses dutifully and without a peep (do you all blame him?) while his parents smile their best glacier smiles for the press. As soon as the room is clear, Mellie Mel is ready to be rid of baby Fitz and bellows for the nurse. After the nurse and baby Fitz are gone here goes Daddy Fitz and his “after the divorce I want to see my son” crap? Really, Fitz? Did you not know who you married? You know Mellie don’t want to hear that. She did too much to get you in the White House just to be a half-term First Lady.
Cut to Cyrus and Olivia in Cy’s office wailing and gnashing their teeth over their troubles when in walks Fitz. Fitz gives Cy the wingman look so out walks Cy. Smooth going there, Mr. Pres. I’m now wondering if Cy doesn’t have a “your mistress is here—code red” button under his desk.” You know he’ll do anything to keep Fitz happy.
And now we have our star-crossed lovers alone and Fitz is in no mood to talk. He’s all about the action. Kiss smooch and he tells Liv he is definitely letting go of his sham of a marriage. More smoochy action from Fitz, but Liv breaks the flow by bringing up old Edison and the fact the Fitz is married and the fact that his wife just had a baby? Darn those pesky details! Oh, but Mac Daddy is not to be put off. Yeah, we saw where your hand went, Fitz. Shoot, we just might say we’d wait for you too.
Sidebar: Olivia, your flip and Fitz’s Superman curl were working overtime in this scene. Shout out to the curl wranglers.
Cut to Olivia now in the Gladiator Central trying to figure out who really tried to kill Fitz. She’s thinking, and we now see her talking with Verna who is looking like she about on her last leg in that hospital bed; still that old Verna is up for a fight.
Cut to Liv playing Nancy Drew in the office and back to cuts of Verna who seems to know so much. Maybe too much. Oh no we get a scene and it was Verna who paid Becky to shoot Fitz! Wowza!! Talk about a twist. I sure didn’t see that one coming. Verna wasn’t even on my short list last week. Well played, Scandal.
But then we see old Vern, down but not out and though Liv is all over her case she calls Liv on her accusations and tells her that she won’t turn her in and give herself and Fitz up. That confessing will do more harm than good. Olivia knows she’s been played by the best.
But as Liv leaves looking all shell shocked, old fighter Verna puts down her oxygen mask and speed dials David Rosen. Crap meet Fan.
Now we see David trying to get in to see Verna, but he can’t and when he asks why it’s because the Pres takes precedent. It’s Fitz rushing to see Verna with the Fitzy concern on. He’s just heard how ill she was.
Back with the Gladiators and there is talk of David Rosen and a Bobblehead doll. Abby is suddenly nervous. Oh boy. Turns out the team has been secretly recording everything that has gone on over at David’s place. Yeah, Abby, they heard it when you said that and yes, when you yelled that too. So now the Gladiators are busy listening to the life and times of David Rosen looking and for an info on the election rigging but what they are mostly getting are tape after tape of smexy time with Abby and David.
Cut to Fitz yelling for a doctor. It seems old Verna has stopped breathing. Hmm… Side-eye party of one. What really happened in that room, Fitz?
Cut to Cy and Mellie in one of their hilarious walk-the-hall convos. And when Cy admits to not liking babies, in true Mellie style she off-handedly says, “Nobody likes babies.” A crack up. I tell you, she and Cy are really secret soul mates. Next Cy and Mel slip off and she tells Cy that if Fitz really tries to divorce her she will bury him and dance on his grave and then she will run for office. Don’t doubt for a second that she’ll do it too.
Now we have the Gladiators still listing to tapes while we see David being all tough with a baby hugging James. He tells James if he won’t cooperate to expect a subpoena. Meanwhile back at the ranch The Gladiators find out that David has the memory card with the evidence. Everyone turns to Abby the girl with the Golden Tongue and the skills to get in with David. She is still mad at David so says she’ll get the card.
Cut to Cy and James comes home and confronts him with his subpoena. Uh no. Cy is trying desperately to come up with a plan short of sending James to Switzerland when he suddenly wonders if James can be trusted to not be wearing a wire so he asks him to strip. Then James asks Cy to strip, which he does. The two of them have an epic naked argument when Cy bares more than his private parts. This makes me think that more people should naked because you can’t really lie standing there with it all hanging out for the world to see.
Back in the offices Abby is still listening to the tapes with David and she hears him saying “I love you” while she was sleeping. This makes her doubt the lie that The Gladiators planted. She confronts Olivia, and Liv tells her the truth. But instead of taking it out on Olivia she gives her anger to Harrison, who schools her on how Olivia saved him and saved her and now they now have to save Liv. Abby stalks off right into David’s arms.
Cut to Olivia and Cyrus on the phone and oh dear, Cyrus about to handle things again. Great, he’s calling the most gainfully employed hit man in all of the country. Watch out now.
Next we see David heading off to work after what was an implied fun night with Abby. Abby tells him good luck and David leaves her alone at his place.
Back at the Pope offices we see Quinn who has a fistful of money and is offering it up to Huck to kill Hollis for the explosion. M’okay there.
Now cut to Cyrus on the phone with Charlie who is following James as he heads to the courthouse he just needs Cy to say yes and he will shoot James. Oh to the NO!
It’s back and forth and we now have James on the other line. Cyrus asks James to please not testify. James says he has to do it. Yikes, it’s Charlie saying he needs to shoot now.
Cut to Quinn and Huck says will he take the job. Huck says he’ll do it for free but Quinn would have to go away and never come back, her choice. What will she choose?
What will Cy do? I, and the rest of the Scandal watchers now need Verna’s leftover oxygen, the tension is so high.
Then finally the thread breaks when Quinn pulls her money back and Cy calls off his man. Thank goodness. Deep breaths for a moment. Can we get a commercial? No? Great.
James walks in to testify and a cut to Liv grabbing a bottle of morning wine out of the closet. Yeah, it’s that type of day.
Cut to James and shock of all shocks, he lies on the stand. What??!! David is maaaaad. About to bust a gut. If this were The Real Housewives there would be tables flipping all around.
Now we are back at Gladiator Central and in comes Abby not long after followed by David yelling her name and screaming about the voter card. He was mad before; now is furious. He accuses her of using him and stealing the card. He tells her he is through with her. Abby denies taking the card and starts to cry. When David leaves she pulls the card from her cleavage and then cries some more.
Oh yeah, you’d better hug her, Liv.
Then just when I thought we’d have a whole show without Eddie, here he is. At least this time he’s ringing Olivia’s bell. Maybe she finally changed the locks. So it seems they really are done. I’ll only believe you if you promise, Ed.
Cut to Verna’s funeral and Liv coming up to Fitz saying how she gave Eddie back the ring, but for some reason Fitz is not moved. Uh-oh. Looks like Livy got some 'splaining to do.
Cut to Verna on her deathbed flashback and she’s spilling all the dirt to Fitz about trying to have him killed, the election rigging, the whole nine. Fitz is too through and then Verna goes and seal her fate by bringing up his mean old dad and the Federal Prosecutor she’s going to speak to next.
Well, that was it. In a fantastic Godfather-esque scene we have Fitz giving her eulogy while we also see him delivering her to the grim reaper. Sorry, Vern. I will say your wig was fantastic.
Back in the oval office after the funeral Fitz has another one of his, “who do you trust moments” and surprisingly comes up with none other than… wait for it… Mellie. He asks her does she love him enough to be on his side, no matter what? Mellie, smooth as silk, says she never left his side. Fitz tells her that they have to be in this together and Mellie is all he has. Mellie looks at him and says through shimmering eyes, “It’s you and me.” And that darn Fitz falls right in and repeats it back to her. More than anything else, this is the real #GameChanger.
The ending scene is of Olivia sitting in the church after the funeral staring at Verna’s casket. She is all glaringly alone. Yes, people the game has been changed. Where we’re going now who knows. Please chime in with your thoughts on the game and the players.
'Til next week.
Kwana Jackson—aka K.M. Jackson—is a writer of women’s fiction and contemporary romance. Her debut novel Through the Lens is on sale now. She can be found on most days at her blog kwana.com and at any moment on Twitter talking about everything and nothing at all under the handle @kwanawrites.