Mon
Feb 11 2013 4:30pm

“Don’t Do It in Animal Masks”: Advice from the Wingman

The Edge of Trust by KT BryanGuys have such an intriguing way of interacting with their buddies, giving each other advice and expressing emotions in ways that sometime seem utterly foreign to women. From dealing with high-pressure situations to frustration at not getting laid to the number and quality of female orgasms, a good wingman is essential for any hero worth his bro. These are some of my recent favorites with heroes demonstrating how they deal with a variety of manly situations:

The Edge of Trust by KT Bryan: Men have an oblique way of showing they've got each other's back. Here, two soldiers are on a difficult mission, with one of them sneaking into a drug dealer's house while the other is giving him assistance remotely via headset. They keep each other grounded during the tense moments by talking about non-mission-related things:

He unhooked his Ka-Bar from his belt, and in one continuous motion, cut the seal around the base of the skylight. After lifting it aside he unhooked the rope. He really needed to hurry. “Jake, time hack.”

“Thirty-two minutes.”

The theme song from Mission Impossible, whistled pitch perfect, came over Dillon’s headset. “Ha, ha. If you’re comparing me to Ethan Hunt, fine. Great, in fact. But if you have Tom Cruise in mind, I’m going to have to kill you.” With a quick loop and a knot, Dillon fastened the rope around the base of the chimney.

“Well, you are all in black. Minus the ever present, very chill, always explosive sunglasses, of course.”

“Don’t forget the oh-so-realistic flying motorcycles.”

“Good point. Much cooler.”

Inside Bet by Katie PorterInside Bet (Vegas Top Guns) by Katie Porter: Guys also have their own method of asking for help from their bros, especially when it involves matters of the heart:

“I'm on the flight line.”

“Gimme ten minutes.”

Exactly what he'd expected. Like code talk, he and Ryan only had to admit they were sitting on the Nellis flight line for the other to come running.

He could always depend on his friends. Precisely what he needed that evening.

Sure enough, Ryan's giant truck pulled up just under ten minutes later. Jon slipped out of his DBS before the tire dust settled. Their manly heart-to-hearts didn't work in the low-slung sports car. Too much like lying down, and adding talking on top of it. Forget it.

Heat of Passion by Elle KennedyHeat of Passion by Elle Kennedy: Sometimes a wingman helps in other ways, like keeping his buddy's despair in check when he's not having much luck at a dance club:

Next to Carson, fellow SEAL Ryan Evans tapped one hand on the iron railing and frowned at the display of vertical sex happening below. “Shit, I really need to get laid,” Ryan grumbled. He took a swig of beer then slammed the bottle back on the table they'd been standing around for the past hour. Glancing over at the long chrome bar counter behind them, he frowned again and added, “And if anyone fucking suggests I hop into bed with one of those old dudes by the bar, I'll kick your ass.”

Matt O'Connor laughed. “The bald one's kinda cute. I bet he'd do you.”

Out of Control by Suzanne BrockmannOut of Control by Suzanne Brockmann: What could be more important than knowing how many orgasms a woman should have? This is what happens when Navy SEAL Ken tries to find out the answers from his team mates:

“I was just wondering if there are any rules that I don't know about.”

“Rules?” Johnny repeated. “Like. . .?”

“Don't do it in animal masks while swinging from a trapeze until the third week of the relationship,” Sam suggested. “That's a rule I always followed religiously—along with the one about not having sex in her parents' kitchen in the middle of a black-tie party. Broke that one once—got into real trouble.”

Ken ignored him. “Like, there's a rule—it's unspoken, but it's definitely a rule—make sure the woman comes first, right?”

“Oh, shit,” Sam said. “Really? Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong all these years.”

Ken continued to ignore him. “But what do you do if the woman comes right away? I'm talking right away. And then she comes again, and you know if you keep going she'll come a third time, except by then you're completely crazed because she is so freaking hot and. . .”

The expressions on both Johnny's and Sam's faces would have been funny as hell if this wasn't so important to him.

“And I think I just got the answer to one of my questions,” Ken had to laugh anyway. “I'm guessing it's not one in every four women who can—”

“No,” Sam said emphatically. “Try one in four hundred.”

“You're in uncharted territory. You're going to have to make up the rules as you go along, man,” Johnny told him.

What are your favorite guy-speak/wingman stories?

 


Donna Cummings writes humorously-ever-after romances. Her latest release, I Do. . .or Die, is a romantic comedy from Crimson Romance. A contemporary novella, Back on Track, part of the Strangers on a Train series from Samhain, will be published April 2nd, 2013. You can find out more at her website, www.AllAbouttheWriting.com, or follow her on Twitter (@BookEmDonna).

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4 comments
Carmen Pinzon
1. bungluna
Pretty much anything by Suzanne Brockmann gives good wingmen. I like the interaction between Nora Robert's male characters also, but I don't think I would call them wingmen.
Donna Cummings
2. Donna Cummings
@bungluna, I agree that Suzanne Brockmann has great wingmen. :) And I think "wingman" is meant to be all-encompassing, covering a wide range of male friendships. LOL
Kiersten Hallie Krum
3. Kiersten
I love, love, love the male friendships in Brockman's SEAL books. Sam and Kenny are two my all time faves and that convo between them & Johnny always cracks me up.
Donna Cummings
4. Donna Cummings
@Kiersten, I cackled a few times while reading that scene again! I always feel like I'm catching up with friends when I re-read Brockmann's books. The friendships, and the romances, are wonderful. :)
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