How do I feel about the release of the final Twilight Saga movie, Breaking Dawn Part 2? To quote Bella Swan, “Happiness expanded like an explosion inside me – so extreme, so violent that I wasn’t sure I’d survive it.” Basically, spontaneous emotional outbursts are to be expected in the midst of all the excitement.
Therefore, to prevent myself—and other appreciators of the series—from entering a state of utter hyperventilation, I put together a guide on how to battle all the intense feelings that might (aka WILL) arise while viewing the last installment. (Also included are shameless tips on how to make the most of this experience so that you properly relish each moment of this pop cultural event.)
1. Reread the books. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a fervent supporter of Stephenie Meyer's books. After the first one, their ability to mesmerize me waned. To be frank, I don't even remember what happens in the last book, which is why it's more important than ever to brush up on all the specifics you may have overlooked while skimming through the muddled plot. Knowing what the shielding power does, who the Volturi members are, what sorts of harrowing situations Alice foresees, and what each character's back-story is will not only make for a better viewing experience but you can also rattle off the details all cool and casually so as to impress your amigas.
2. Know Your Renesmee Facts. Who the what? If it's been a while since you last visited the series, just know that Renesmee is Edward and Bella's beautiful daughter (whose name derives from the fusion of her grandmothers' appellations) who happens to be half-vampire and half-human. She is an “imprintee” of werewolf stud, Jacob Black, and she can break mental barriers and transmit thoughts from her head into yours just by touching your face. Also, whatever you do, don't call her “Nessie.” Just don't. Comprende? Awesome.
3. There Are No More Teams. Do not instigate a fight at the theater or incur the wrath of fellow movie-goers by launching into a debate about how you're Team Jacob or Team Edward. Edward and Bella tied the knot. They're both vampires in love. They have a child together. If you're completely devastated about their union, please internalize your grief and try to move on with your life.
4. Twi-Style. Is there such a thing as a wrong time to play dress-up? No. If you own a velvet cloak and possess enough confidence to strut around a theater in it, then by all means fierce yourself up as a Volturi. However, most of us don't have such costumes on hand so your run-of-the-mill red/amber contacts, fangs, body glitter, and red lip venom (for that tingling “just bitten” buzz) should work just fine. Also, remember that there are bedazzled shirts and accessories featuring character faces and scenes from the movie online and/or at the Twilight warehouse known as Hot Topic—these will help convey your affection for the series to other movie-goers without tempering with your eyesight. (There's even an O.C.D: Obsessive Cullen Disorder one—you know, in case you were wondering.)
4. Have Snacks On Hand. Remember, this is a blockbuster event and deserves to be celebrated as such. There will be a hardcore supernatural melee to look forward to. There will be anguish. There will be joy. And possibly a mind-blowing bedroom scene. Ergo, having treats in your mouth at all times is a foolproof method of preventing accidental drooling during scenes in which Jacob's abs and Emmett's arms are exposed. Buttered/salted popcorn is a good option as is chocolate, the food of pain. You can also bake your own cupcakes, embellished with the Cullen family crest, and hand them out to your pals. Or if you're just a wild child who loves to party hardy, yank out a couple of red, crispy apples. (Some will say why? I say why you even asking? Just kick back and live out my—pardon me—your guilty Twi-pleasures one by one.)
5. Movie Marathon with Friends. This all depends on how much time you have of course but, honestly, there's nothing more secretly satisfying than indulging in a Twilight marathon with your BFFs. Before vamp-speeding off into the sunset with Bella, Edward, and their Cullen familia, set some time aside to enjoy the other movies with friends. Go ahead and make inside jokes, reenact cheesy scenes, and recite lines. (Here's one courtesy of Jacob: “What’s for breakfast? O negative or AB positive?” LOL. Or one from Aro: “Truly, Carlisle, nothing would please me more than to preserve your life today.”) You see, that's the beauty of this phenomenon—the whole over-the-top factor so just embrace it. Allow your inner fangirl to roam free!
6. Rehearse Your Reaction. Stand in front of a mirror and think about various Twilight situations in which you felt angry, betrayed, mournful, and shocked. Think about those moments in which your funny bone was tickled and you couldn't stop giggling. While streaming through all these emotions, practice reigning them in. After all, you don't want to mar Bella and Edward's blissful cottage scene by bursting out into uncontrollable laughter. You don't want to tear up even before Charlie sets his eyes on the daughter he presumed dead. And you certainly don't want to have your mouth agape like a fool and your eyes bulging—practically on the brink of popping out—like a nagapie in the presence of other individuals. Preserving your dignity and sense of attractiveness is crucial, especially if you've dusted yourself all up in glitter.
7. Tissues. You're going to need them with some pretty audacious twists knee-melting lines such, “Now you know. No one’s ever loved anyone as much as I love you.” Oh—and brace yourself for major floodworks at the very end, where a special farewell (courtesy of director Bill Condon) awaits you!
So, to summarize the gist of this guide, here's one word repeated three times: Preparation, preparation, preparation. This event is as ol' Eddie puts it best, “A night of celebrations.” It's serious business, folks! Serious mountain-lion-wrestling, meadow-lurking-fantasy business. Now go out there and enjoy Breaking Dawn Part 2!
If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy Rachel Hyland's An Undying Love: Top 10 Vampire Film Romances
Theodora Guliadis is not a Twihard by any means and will NOT be immersing herself in body shimmer in an effort to replicate Bella Swan's new-found vamp status. However, she does appreciate the beautiful love story at stake and how it appeals to people worldwide. Theo also enjoys freshly brewed iced tea, Greek poetry, and Whedonverse. A conspiracy theorist at heart, she’s constantly on the look-out for horcruxes and is still trying to make sense of Lost Season 6. Follow her musings on entertainment at @theodorag13.