Thu
Oct 25 2012 8:09am

BDSM Romance: What’s the Appeal?

Romance readers have seen a surge of BDSM romances, and it's short-sighted to assume that all romance fans crave that in their real life, as they do their fiction.

Maybe it's the prospect of losing control, or of being absolutely wanted, or of the Dominating alpha male. Perhaps it's the sexual escapism of it, where every desire and feeling is heightened through pain and pleasure. Or it's just that you're interested in exploring new sexual reading playgrounds.

If you are not a real life BDSM practitioner, what is the appeal of BDSM romance?

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12 comments
TML1963
1. TML1963
I am not ashamed to say that BDSM appeals to me. I read the books and the thought goes through my head. Is it the pain or the lose of control that's the turn on? I don't know! I do love reading the books!! From Shayla Black to Sylvia Day!! Love them all!!
TML1963
2. Renable
I think it's the control, or lack thereof, that gets me. The pain part wouldn't work for me, so it isn't that. I love reading the genre though. It's sooo hot!
TML1963
3. Tasha L. Harrison
I think the erotic edge in BDSM novels conveys a passion that many women crave from their significant other. Other than that, I think it's an escapist fantasy just like any other.
TML1963
4. DHMaven
I'm a blogger and I love BDSM. Why? The dominate alpha male is the main appeal for me. Add the erotic edge play of the BDSM relationship and I'm hooked. However, there must be a plot/good story line. It can't be all about putting "A" into "B". :-)
TML1963
5. Angie H
Yep, I agree with the fluctuating power dynamic and the hot Alpha/Dom male appeal (note: male must be hot, not any old bossy s.o.b.'s gonna do the trick), with quality plots, story lines, developed characters and clever and erotic dialog sealing the deal. I'm not a big fan of pain or the dark stuff, so there's no need to have a total Puritanical revolt in leather to make my pulse race. Bottomline: female sexual expression has been repressed in general and is in dire need of a release!
Lege Artis
6. LegeArtis
Come to think about it, it's not sex parts of BDSM novels that appeal to me; sometimes it can even make me uncomfortable. If you take sex out of equation there are still lots of things, emotions, givings and takings that make one realtionship. For me are fascinanting "romance" parts of it- how is one BDSM relationship working? Why is gain or lack of total control exciting? Could I have done that...?
Norma Smith
7. Nsmith442
I must say this about the world of (BDSM) these books add alot more spice to the basic romance novels, that I grow up with. The Books Fifty Shades of Gray allowed people to explore what they already have been thinking about tring. I love all types of romance novels, but the one with bdsm in the storyline are what alot of romance readers are looking for now. Don't get me wrong, but not every romance writter will appeal to all romance readers. So too each their own.!! Enjoy what you like.!! PS. I Love What Angie H. Wrote on this topic.
Kwana Minatee-Jackson
8. kwanawrites
Good question. I have to say whenever I bring up my book to anyone the first comment I get is, "Is it like 50 Shades?"
I was just talking with some women about Through The Lens and handing out postcards in my local bowling alley and that was what I got. I cracked up when one said, "'cause we like fifty shades of anything!"
This from a group of middle aged suburban bowling league women. I think what they are looking for in these books is a safe place to put their fantasies. For women sex is mostly in the mind so the act of reading is just fine. It's not like they have to have to actually practice of the act to get full enjoyment from the book.

I also think the book's appeal in some cases may be less about sex and more about giving up control. Women handle and take care of so much. A book like Fifty does give a total "letting go, no responsibility" fantasy that holds some appeal.
Rona Singapura
9. ronasingapura
It seems as if every book I read these days has elements of BDSM. That's a bummer since it has no appeal to me at all. I'll be glad when the fad passes.
Mistress Amethyst
10. MistressAmethyst
It has been amazing the level of interest in our BDSM courses at the French Dungeon mnay from couples who have never explored this lifestyle. The world of BDSM is not all pain nad torment indeed it is closley linked to an intense love of feelings between couples.
Bondage for example produces such intense feelings of touch on tyhe skin as well as then mental process of surrender to a partner
Norma Smith
11. Nsmith442
To, ronasingapura: I understand were you are coming from, but sorry to say this. The cash Cow is here to stay for awhile. You will be ok, without these types of books in you life. I go all over the inter- net to buy my books for my Ereader. Go on the hunt and enjoy the different books you find.
TML1963
12. Fanti
Although I found BDSM intriguing and I like some aspects of it (when it's a part of a well written story), I can't wait for this trend to end. I'm just tired of the hordes of books about spanking billionaries with red rooms of pain... It's just absurd.

I love the troubled alpha-male story line a lot, but this trend is just killing it. I want passion, drama, emotion, all of that without the wips and chains. I'm just sick of it. I hope more novels like Bared to You, On Dublin Street, etc get out there.
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