Lilith continues to breed contention and craziness within the Vampire Authority, faery blood becomes more important, and everyone is reminded of just how awesome Jessica is in this week’s episode of True Blood.
Last week we learned: Lilith was not a fan of Godric, Eric remains hot even when in zealot mode, Hoyt was ready to forget, Tara wasn’t happy about the new Sheriff of Area 5 (us either!), TV Alcide’s dad is very different than book Alcide’s dad, Russell showed his true colors and plans to drink fae blood.
HIGHLIGHTS
- Anyone tired of seeing Lilith naked and bloody? If we’re getting someone naked on this show—bloody or otherwise—I have a list and it does not start with her. (Feel free to post your lists in the comments, H&Hers.)
- My head spun hearing Bill tell Jessica that Sookie, Jason and the rest of the people of Bon Temps are just “food.” At least Jessica can see how crazypants Bill is behaving.
- Eric and Nora! Grief sex!
- “We own the day.” Sure, I’m Team Vampire, but big points here for Team Human. Loved seeing this one general put the Sanguinita council in its place.
- Poor Jessica. It’s hard to team up with Jason Stackhouse on the fly. You can’t really expect him to pick up on cues. At all. Instead, she has to sink her fangs into him.
- On the upside, he did get with the program and we saw him shoot and kill vampires from the grave. Slick.
- Eric kills both the guys in his and Nora’s security detail. Gives another meaning to double tap.
- Who doesn’t love a fae elder whose first question is about Ke$ha? “Her spelling is atrocious.” Sookie plays along pretty well, though I take issue with her firm “against” stance on John Cougar Mellencamp.
- The elder didn’t give Sookie any real advice, but she sure made me laugh out loud when she said: “…the reason you slut your heart out there to every cute guy with fangs.”
- Shirtless Alcide FTW!
- I’ve been waiting for Morella to show up and let Andy know he’s going to be a daddy. Finally, this week it happened. In front of loudmouth Arlene. Like that’s not getting back to Holly.
- Vampire slumber party with Pam, Tara and Jessica! Pam may duck out on the girl talk, but Jessica can’t resist asking Tara about her feelings for Pam.
- Russell finally gets to drink a real faery, and it lets him see the others. Everything is about to fall apart…
- Some of the ancient-style rooms in the Authority headquarters remind me of something from a Guillermo del Toro film. This only makes me wonder how incredible an episode directed by him could be. HBO, please make this happen.
WTF-ERY as only True Blood can provide
- Lilith comes to Bill saying he should lead the vampires. If we were ever unsure of her sanity/reality/whatever, the idea that Bill would make a good leader for the whole species? Yeah, no. That said, quite pleased he resisted.
NUDITY INDEX
- Lilith. Bloody and naked, as always.
- Shirtless Eric. Naked Nora. Dealing with their grief over Godric by having angsty vampire sex. As you do.
- Sam and Luna shift back into human forms within the Vampire Authority headquarters. Meaning completely nude shifters.
- A whole lot of naked humans in cages at the Vampire Authority.
FAVORITE QUOTES
Pam: “Since when did I become a halfway house for wayward baby vamps?”
The General: “The U.S. government and this Authority have an arrangement. This arrangement is called mainstreaming. It means you don’t fuck with us. We don’t fuck with you.”
The General: “We own the day. Vampires don’t stand a fucking chance.”
Luna: “What is this place, the fucking vampire secret headquarters?”
Andy: “A lot of people might think I’m stupid, but they’re wrong.”
Russell: “Oh look! We’ve got ourselves a hunk sandwich.”
***
We only have one more episode left of Season 5. It looks like the writers are taking us back to Sookie’s storyline a bit more here at the end, but what do you most want to see next week? Also, where do you think Nora and Eric flew to?
While Chelsea Mueller runs Vampire Book Club, she won’t turn down a sexy werewolf, demon or faerie. Her appreciation of Alexander Skarsgard is well documented. Bother her on Twitter — @ChelseaVBC — she likes it.
