This week’s episode ups the ante as the Authority tries to cover up their obsession with Lilith and all things bloody. Sam and Luna set out in search of Emma and Jason and Sookie finds a mysterious scroll. Meanwhile, Elijah, the new sheriff of Area 5, lays down the law with Pam and Tara. Hoyt decides to leave his old life behind. And lastly, Russell steps further off the crazy train in seek of a higher calling.
(Need to catch up? Check out our previous recaps: Episode 5.01 |Episode 5.02 | Episode 5.03 | Episode 5.04 | Episode 5.05 | Episode 5.06 | Episode 5.07 | Episode 5.08 | Episode 5.09)
HIGHLIGHTS
The episode opens with the news reporting even more True Blood factories being blown to smithereens. They expect a 50% spike in human attacks. Well, duh. Reverend Newlin tries to weasel their way outta that theory during a live interview later in the show. Fitting, since he kind of looks like a weasel.
Sookie gets an unannounced visit from Mike, the town coroner, who promptly tells her he’s looking forward to a Sookie-licious meal. Sookie never gets a break, but you can’t fault her quick thinking. Chopstick death, FTW!
The Authority continues to drive their master plan as they deliver the True Death to Molly. Is anyone else having a hard time believing Bill? I swear he must be playing the authority, but you never can tell with vampires. Tricky bitches. He forces Eric to take more of Lilith’s blood, hoping he will see the light. Or the bloody naked body that always follows. As expected, Eric asks for forgiveness and joins Team Crazy.
Elijah explains a new mandate to Pam and Tara. Apparently the Authority is requiring 30 baby vamps in Area 5. Or else. Pam is pretty pissed about this turn of events, and later tells Tara that they can take off and let Elijah stuff his mandate where the sun never shines, literally. In true Tara fashion, she acts without thinking of the consequences.
Did anyone catch Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” playing in the background while Russell and Steve had an after-dinner dance? I snickered.
Sam and Lala stick up for Jessica in Merlotte’s, and Jason walks in during the aftermath. Looking mighty hot, I might add. Hoyt has asked them both to meet there. He’s made up his mind to leave behind the tragedy and traumas of Louisiana in pursuit of new scenery in Alaska. He pleads with Jessica to erase his memories of them both. Neither Jessica nor Jason take losing Hoyt easily. I got teary-eyed during Jason’s breakdown in the car with Sookie. I wanted to hug him. A lot. For a while, you know, so he can be comforted. I’m a giving person.
Sookie and Jason continue to try and make sense out of the stuff under Gram’s bed. Then suddenly, Jason uses his brain (gasp!) and actually discovers some ancient scrolls under the floorboards with unfamiliar glyphs. They enlist the help of an expert who pretty much tells them that either someone is playing a hoax on them, or the language isn’t human. You don’t say…
Holly treats Andy to a nice dinner made by Lala. Awww. Love is in the air.
Sam and Luna are hell-bent on finding Emma. They decide to sneak into the news station where Steve will be interviewed on live television. As little white mice.
Bill sends for Jessica, and begins to feed her the crazy. Jessica appears skeptical and reluctant. Who can blame her?
Russell lets his hair down and demands the Authority start harvesting Fae blood since it allows them to walk in daylight. Salome ain’t having that nonsense, since they are children of the night and all. Of course, Russell will not be denied.
Sookie and Jason visit the Fae to have the ancient scrolls examined. A very old and very pregnant Fae informs Sookie that her father made a blood-oath promising the vampire Warlow his first fae-bearing Stackhouse. Like I said, Sookie never gets a break.
Note: No Alcide this week. Not a damn glimpse of chiseled jaw or rock-hard ab to be found. Not cool, Alan Ball. Not cool at all.
WTF-ERY as only True Blood can provide
Godric pays a visit to a hallucinating Eric and Nora. Of course, Lilith refuses to be left out of the party and shows up on the scene. She a bad bitch.
Tara takes matters into her own hands and lays down her own law with Elijah. I may have spit out my café con leche during that scene. See? Tricky bitches.
Russell brings bat-shit crazy like only he can do. Did I hear a non-Southern accent during his Holier-Than-Thou speech?
NUDITY INDEX
Anytime Lilith is on screen, I think we can assume T&A is plentiful.
Sam and Luna sneak into the news station as mice. It was wicked sneaky, but they didn’t exactly have the ability to carry around some clothing. Can you imagine two little mice with backpacks?
FAVORITE QUOTES
Russell: “Almost. It chafes her nipples.”
Pam: “Well, fuck me, he counts past five.”
Tara: “I don’t know nothing ‘bout birthing no baby vampires!”
Lafayette: “Save room for dessert. I ain’t gonna tell ya’ll what it is, but best believe, it’s gonna be flaming!”
Hoyt’s mama calls Jessica a “cheeto-headed tramp.” It’s worth mentioning.
Ash H, aka Smash, loves a good zombie book and firmly believes that a snarky personality is the best kind to have. Alcide Herveaux makes her weak in the knees, a fact she proudly flaunts. You can find her rambling about books at Smash Attack Reads or getting her (hourly) Twitter fix.
