Things we learned last week: Sam finds his shifter buddies dead, Sookie is moving on to Alcide and Tara tried death by Jersey Shore.
Chelsea would normally be your recapper today, but I am subbing for her this week—she promised that this time I would get more nakedness. She lied. This really felt like a filler episode, tying up some loose ends and adding some new threads. It wasn’t all that exciting, but it made some things make more sense.
- Sookie and Alcide are about to get it on, when all that Sookie drank comes back on Alcide’s shoes and that’s when Eric and Bill walk in.
- Lafeyette freaks out about the voodoo demon thing he has going on and prays to Jesus and Jesus (the dead boyfriend) for a sign.
- Jason dreams he’s back in his childhood again, with Sookie and their parents. Then his parent’s necks start to bleed from vampire bites.
- Sookie, Eric, Bill and Alcide talk about finding Russell. Bill still thinks it was Nora that released Russell. They end up heading out to talk to Alcide’s employee, Doug, who is the only witness. Sookie telepathically links to Doug and finds out that the person who released Russell was a woman wearing an Authority necklace.
- Meanwhile, Nora is still alive and in a cell at the Authority headquarters.
- Pam makes Tara a bartender at Fangtasia, which Tara is all sorts of pissed about. Of course she tries to eat a customer and Pam kicks her ass which Jess is there to witness.
- Skanky Authority lady gives orders that Bill and Eric have until dawn to find Russell or their lives are forfeit. And Roman is still mourning the loss of the kid Chancellor he killed.
- Patrick and Terry are still being held hostage by their Iraq buddy Eller and he tells them the story of what happened when he got back. He was staying with another combat vet when their house caught on fire, he said the fire was possessed, that he googled it and it was an Ifrit. Terry has a flashback to Iraq the night they killed all the Iraqi’s and he remembers that he saw the Ifrit. He was cursed by a woman that he was under orders from Patrick to kill.
- Jason and Andy go to the crime scene of Sam’s shifter friends and they talk a little bit about the fairy stripclub.
- Jess and Tara have a heart to heart at Fangtasia about what it’s like to be a young vampire and they trade stories.
- Eric and Bill get a call from the Authority and find out they are now on a time limit.
- Jason finds a wooden bullet at the crime scene while Andy and he are doing their CSI thang.
- Sookie and the boys end up at an old Asylum thanks to Sookie’s telepathy that somehow works through Doug, who I am now guessing is not a were. As they are searching they find a room full of dead bodies being eaten by rats which causes Doug to take the hell off.
- Tara goes out for a smoke and runs into Hoyt who is dressed like a damn fool. He offers his blood and Tara refuses, but he goes into Fangtasia anyway.
- Still in flashback mode, Terry and all the soldiers set the bodies on fire and he sees the Ifrit. He comes out of it and explains to Eller and Patrick what he saw and Eller lets them go. Patrick ends up knocking Eller out and Terry takes off outside for a smoke while Patrick ties Eller up. When Patrick is done, he comes outside and that’s when the Ifrit kills Eller.
- Lafeytte wakes up from a dream to the head of Jesus sitting on his bedside table with his mouth sewn shut trying to talk to him. Tara’s mother also has Jesus in her bedroom. Umm WTF?!
- Sookie and crew chase after Doug and he ends up in a room full of people in straitjackets hanging from the ceiling. They are Russell’s dinner, and they want out, but Sookie and crew head off to find Russell. Nice, guys!
- Sam goes to tell Luna what happened to their friends, and when he leaves, he gets shot by a bunch of rednecks in a truck. Luna comes out to help and gets shot as well. Emma hears all the noise, runs outside, shifts and runs away.
- Roman talks about the Sanguinista movement.
- Jason goes to visit his parents’ grave.
- At Fangtasia, Jess is in one stall feeding on a woman and Tara is in another feeding on Hoyt. Hoyt makes a noise and Jess realizes it’s him and throws him to safety, then dukes it out with Tara.
- Sookie and the guys finally find Russell. Eric says he’s there to finish him off, Russell basically says I’d like to see you try. When Eric goes at him, Russell commands Alcide to shift.
- Alcide’s naked chest and back (damn you Sookie for tossing your cookies and ruining it all)
- Jason’s naked chest and booty. I bet I could bounce a quarter off that piece of yum.
- For the love of gawd, stop showing us naked Andy. Poor Arlene was almost blinded.
- Tara to Fangtasia patron: “I’m many things, but sweet ain’t one of them.”
- Jason to Andy when talking about fairies: “Like Tinkerball.”
- Andy to Jason: “I fucked a fairy?”
- Eric to Doug when talking about New York: “New York City smells like pee and the people are rude.”
Do we still not care about the Iraq storyline? Why do you think the shifters are being targeted? And should we start taking bets on who Sookie sees naked next?
Natasha Carty reviews Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy on her website Wicked Little Pixie and lives in Toronto, Canada, with her cat, Seamus.