Oh, H&Hers, I’m back to recapping (yay!) and am happy to bring you the good, the bad, and the dirty (double yay!) from Sunday’s True Blood.
Things we learned last week: Russell is back, Alcide waited a long time for sexy time with Sookie, Lafayette is going crazy by way of magic, Hoyt’s a fangbanger, someone’s killing shifters, and fairies like to warn Jason about vampires and throw sexy parties. (Go with it.)
This week Alcide, Eric, Bill, and Sam showed their true colors. No one had sex, but Joe Manganiello had his shirt off more than once.
- At the end of last week’s episode we saw Alcide begin to shift. This week we find out why: Another werewolf took him by the ankle. Looks like Russell still has wolves doing his bidding. Well, you can’t say they aren’t loyal.
- Smoke monster looks cool, even if I am still not invested in this storyline.
- Eric’s mischievous smile when Russell goes on an anti-Authority tirade.
- Eric giving Alcide his blood after the “We owe you, wolf” line was hotter than expected. Alcide may have been the only one uncomfortable with it. Feel free to make “sandwich” references in the comments. Add in Eric’s touching requirement during the glamour that Alcide must always protect Sookie with his life, and I melted.
- That wolf puppy is freaking adorable.
- Alcide damn near jumps away when Sookie tries to touch him after Eric’s “she disgusts you” glamour. Thank goodness Sookie can give him back his memories. We can’t have Alcide not wanting to get naked with Sookie. Viewers would be crushed. Also, Sookie deserves a nice guy for a bit.
- I won’t even pretend I didn’t literally clutch my chest when Sam, recovering from a gunshot wound, tells the nurse he’s not leaving Luna’s side.
- Very happy to see Terry finally call out Patrick. I can like this storyline a bit better when Terry is stepping out of military, following-orders mode.
- Possibly Lafayette’s visit with his mom, Ruby Jean.
- Happy to see Alcide step up and challenge for pack master. His character needs to protect, and those wolves need his help. He may end up crushed under the burden of trying to save everyone – wolves, Sookie, etc. – but it’s going to make for good TV. Also, the more time he spends with werewolves, the more he’s shirtless. I think.
- Cocktail party to celebrate capturing Russell. Nothing says way to capture the crazy like bubbly blood.
- Roman and Eric’s verbal sparring was delightful. Eric can’t resist pushing Roman’s buttons. He can’t fall in line like Bill. Perhaps this episode is about characters showing their true colors. Alcide protects. Bill acquiesces. Eric denies authority (in the most political of ways).
- Claude! Claude! Claude! (I like TV Claude so much more than book Claude. DAMN.)
- Like they could really kill Russell? Sad to see Chris Meloni’s role complete, but watching Russell turn on him, take the stake and with a final “peace is for pussies” kill the leader of the Authority? Epic.
WTF-ERY as only True Blood can provide
- Bill giving Eric the “you don’t make my decisions” talk. Really, these two are like a couple this season. Not only does Bill tell Eric he doesn’t get to make decisions for him, but Eric actually listens? For serious?
- Pam’s hair.
- Hoyt’s pitch to Jessica’s fangbanger bitch instead of her boyfriend. Never have I wanted to hug Jessica more. Dealing with your ex is bad enough, but this is a whole new level.
- One of Russell’s werewolves gets thrown into a wall by Eric. Upon hitting the floor, he shifts back and we get naked man booty.
- A few moments later a wider-angle shot gives us extra naked werewolves.
- Last week, we watched Alcide take off his belt. This week, he’s putting on pants. Either way, Joe Manganiello is shirtless, piled with abs and giving a peek at Apollo’s Belt. And it requires a rewind…or four.
- More mostly-naked Alcide! He wakes up tucked in pink sheets and not really fitting on the bed. No booty though. And so, we wait.
- Lady dancer booty at the fairy nightclub, along with many a bare-chested man.
Russell: “You’re no better than humans with your absurd magical thinking.”
Bill fake-glamouring Sookie (she can’t be glamoured, remember?): “It will be as though we never met.” (If only it were that easy, Bill.)
Eric, glamouring Alcide: “will keep your hands off her [Sookie], romantically. She kind of disgusts you.”
Hoyt to Jessica: “You want to feed on me 24/7? I love that.”
Eric: “Lilith can fucking blow me.”
Sookie to Alcide’s back: “Bye. I’m just going to stay here and quietly slip into a coma.”
Ruby Jean: “Save Jesus!”
Sookie to Jason: “Fairy nightclub? Are you back on V?”
Jason: “Hey! That’s my sister, you fairy fuckers!”
Russell: “I am the only honest one here. I want to gorge on human blood not because some fucking bible tells me to but because I like it.”
So, readers, are you team fairy yet? Are you ready for Alcide to become packmaster, if only for the bonus shirtless scenes? How excited are you to see the havoc Russell can enact next week?
While Chelsea Mueller runs Vampire Book Club, she won’t turn down a sexy werewolf, demon or faerie. Her appreciation of Alexander Skarsgard is well documented. Bother her on Twitter - @ChelseaVBC — she likes it.