This entire episode can has two major plot points: Tara is batshit crazy as a vampire and the Authority is scary as hell! Hell, to sum it up EVERYONE is pissed at somebody. Also, Newlin dancing.
- Tara being completely batshit crazy as a fledgling vampire, vampire tantrum anyone? Running all over the place, attacking and biting Sookie only to have Pam giggle, then finally step up and pry her off Sook. She’s like a toddler on speed! Lafayette looks terrified the entire time this is happening, especially when she goes for him. Thankfully, Pam steps up and commands Tara not to bite the humans. Before taking off to Fangtasia and leaving Tara with Sook and Lafayette.
- The wolves are still feasting on the dead body of Marcus, lovely. They all want Alcide to have a bit of a taste but he’s having none of it, saying Marcus never earned the respect of being eaten. Insert joke here. Sam gets released and heads to Luna’s. Sam is hanging with Luna when Grandma Martha comes calling to see her granddaughter Emma. Luna flips out and tells her to leave, but not before Martha says what if Emma is a werewolf and not a shifter. Luna doesn’t give a shit and asks her to leave. Following that, Luna flips on Sam and they get into a huge fight ending with Sam heading out, too.
- Bill, Eric and Nora are transported to the Authority’s offices and placed in holding cells. Their awesome next cell neighbor happens to be a male nurse who used to eat babies and has silver burns all over his face. He’s pleasant. Later on, they start hearing a voice over a hidden speaker that begins to question them. Unfortunately, they provide the wrong answers to the voice and get the UV light treatment that burns them all in their cells.
- Terry is having nightmares making him sleepwalk and knock Arlene around. He wakes her up and states that they’re all going to die. Imagine waking up to that mess? Can you say, move the hell out of my house ASAP? Terry ends up with another waking nightmare while working at Merlotte’s and knocks Arlene clear across the kitchen. She ends up going to visit Patrick, but Terry shows up and kicks her out. Apparently one of Terry and Patrick’s platoon members from the war is still alive and a firestarter, and he’s out to get them, but they’re going to find him first!
- Pam goes looking for Eric at Fangtastia and ends up having a flashback to 1905 when she was working in a brothel. She ends up finding one of her working ladies dead, by whom we aren’t sure but assume it was a patron of the brothel. On her walk home one night she gets attacked by a man wielding a knife only to have that knife turned against him by Eric who saves her. It’s awesome to finally see Pam’s past revealed—who would have guessed our girl was a working girl?
- Sookie and Lafayette try to get Tara to bed before sunrise but they can’t find her. Lafayette finally finds her hiding behind a door, but she refuses to go to her coffin. Lafayette cuts himself and Tara attacks, only to have Sookie throw a silver chain on her ass and haul her to the basement. In order to try and “control” Tara, Sookie pays a visit to the Stake House and buys some colloidal silver spray and also lets the store guy know that hunting vampires is illegal. Tara later wakes up and says she’ll never forgive them, then takes off out the front door only to be sprayed by the colloidal silver and gets burnt. But that doesn’t stop Tara and she’s gone like the flash, burnt flesh and all!
- Andy and Jason find Debbie Pelt’s abandoned car and a bottle of V. At first Andy pockets it, but later hands it to Jason who dumps it out. Aww, Andy’s growing up!
- Back at the Authority, Bill and Eric are hooked up to silver IV drips and interrogated. When they don’t give the answers that the Authority wants, they pump the drip. Bill talks about the true bible, the vampire bible that talks about Lilth and came long before the human version. It states that humans aren’t made in God’s image, vampires are. Humans are only there for nourishment of vamps. He’s also told that Eric has been let go. In Eric’s interrogation, he gets told that Nora has been given the true death and that Bill has confessed to everything.
- Jess is Party Rocking once again when she gets a knock at the door from Newlin. After Newlin busts a groove with the humans, they go into a room to speak. Newlin tries to buy Jason from Jessica for 20,000 dollars; she plays around for awhile and then says she doesn’t sell her friends.
- Jason goes to visit Hoyt at Maxine’s to make amends for the whole Jessica issue. After dropping an epic ton of F-bombs, much to Maxine’s dismay, Hoyt tells Jason to get out.
- Luna is all alone and hears strange noises in the back of her house, and when she opens Emma’s door there is the cutest baby wolf in footie pajamas. Guess Martha was right!
- Eric and Bill finally meet Guardian Roman, and he’s pissed with our boys. Roman shares his blood with the other members of the Authority, in some creeptastic ritual. Just before he’s about to sentence Eric and Bill, Bill offers a trade. They’ll bring in Russell in exchange for their lives. The Authority had no idea Russell was still alive, let alone loose.
- In the final scene, we see a very burnt-up vampire laying in a hospital bed surrounded by dead bodies. Russell is BACK and he’s pissed!
WTF-ERY (As only True Blood can provide)
At the station, some teenager comes in saying Jason broke up his parent’s marriage because his father found out that his mom slept with Jason. Of course Jason doesn’t remember the woman until he’s sees a picture of her and Andy ends up dragging the kid out. What was the point of that? We know Jason
wasis a manwhore!
- Andy talking about Holly no longer taking his calls. Jason replies with something along the lines of “You got the cow and got to eat the cake too, don’t worry!”
- The creepy Authority child, I thought we staked our mistakes?
- Lafayette getting caught about to stake Tara. Family doesn’t stake family!
- Newlin dancing, enough said.
- I’m counting Marcus’s dead eaten body as nudity; come on, he had no clothing on, right?
- The dead working girl in the brothel, full frontal with strategically thrown dead leg over lady bits.
Yeah, I was robbed on the nudity. What the hell? Chelsea gets all the good nakeds.
Pam to the waitress at Fangtasia when asked about her dirty yellow track suit: “I was in the ground, what’s YOUR excuse?”
Creepy nurse vampire to Eric and Bill when they provide the wrong answers to the voice: “Now you’ve fucked us.”
Sam and Luna discussing Martha: “She just lost her son. She just ATE her son!”
Jessica to Newlin: “You’ve got a fang boner and…yeah, a real boner.”
This season is turning into a more interesting season than last year’s, with the addition of the elegant but authoritative Roman, we are in for a treat. But come on, give me some nudity next time, would ya?
Natasha Carty reviews Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy on her website Wicked Little Pixie and lives in Toronto, Canada, with her cat, Seamus.