Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Esther and Rebecca did a little Freaky Friday body swap. Everybody got on their flapper gear and hotfooted it at the school dance. Alaric became Enhanced!Evil Alaric and it was all Bonnie’s fault. Elena was torn again some more about which
Jonas Salvatore Brother to choose.
And now, on to this week’s episode, 3.21, “Before Sunset"...
TVD is pretty uniformly great at season beginnings and endings, and since this is the penultimate S3 episode, shit went down in reasonably entertaining ways.
Surprisingly, things were tied up fairly neatly as we head into the finale next week, but there are still a few burning questions to be addressed:
- Did Caroline and Rebekkah actually have a lovely Bechdel Test-passing moment in the gym there as they traded condolences? Candice Accola and Claire Holt did an excellent understated job with that scene.
- How much more fun is E!E Alaric than Original Recipe Alaric? Plus, isn’t there some delicious irony in the idea that now that he’s been turned he’s more TEAM HUMAN! than ever?
- How cute are Caroline and Tyler? I mean really. I enjoy how normal their relationship is aside from, you know, living on the hellmouth.
- Do you think Caroline’s tears make baby unicorns die? Seriously, how black does your heart need to be to want to torture her with No. 2 pencils?
- Do you think Jeremy is thrilled that he basically came home to a) get all up in his sis’s sex life with the Salvatores, and b) possibly be a human sacrifice? WELCOME HOME, JERE!
- Was anyone surprised Bonnie was alive? Anyone? Beuller?
- How hilarious was the sequence where Klaus went evil paperboy and just started chucking shit through the windows at Chez Gilbert? The newspaper was kind of stupidly hilarious but the propane tank had real flair, I thought.
- Can someone please just like take Bonnie out dancing or something? I mean, it’s a really close horse race in Mystic Falls but Dark Willow 2 has got, like, the worst life ever. No wonder she looked almost orgasmic when the spell-casting was over. She needs to get out more.
- Elena cutting her own neck—brave or beyond stupid?
- That being said, was there an actual moment of chemistry between Bonnie and Damon as they approached Jere at the school? I think there was.
- Do you think blood shots taste better with a little salt and lime on the side? Ick.
- Does anyone else miss Evil!Stefan? He’s so dull again.
- When did Alaric have time to join the WWE? Those were some smooth moves knocking out the Salvatores in the school hallway. Maybe that’s just a perk of the Enhanced!Evil upgrade package.
- Could you believe that rookie move from Klaus, leaving the room BEFORE Elena actually bled out? Weak.
- Tyler’s response to how he broke the sire bond (“By breaking every bone in my body 100 times for the girl I love.”) - Is that an Awwww or an Ewwww? Maybe a little of both?
- Is Elena made of Play Doh really? She was getting whipped around like a rag doll by Alaric. She should’ve been comatose, not just woozy and having a nose bleed all lolling in the paint at the end there.
- Was anyone surprised that Caroline organized the kitchen victory party?
- Don’t you think Carol and Liz need their own spin-off? Maybe a Cagney and Lacey style crime-fighting show? I’d watch.
Anyone else yelling for Damon and Stefan to JUST KEEP DRIVING when they were going on and on about what a special snowflake Elena was?
- “How many times do I have to tell you, Elena? Stop trusting vampires!” ~ Alaric
- “I’m not your little bitch anymore!” ~ Tyler
- [Doorbell rings] “Don’t get your hopes up! Might be a girl scout!” ~ Damon
- “We’ll call you from the road…after we dump Klaus’s body in the Atlantic.” ~ Damon
- “You know how these things pan out, Stefan. She’ll probably make a list of the pros and cons and at the end of the day dump both our asses.” ~ Damon
- “Hear that? That’s the sound of Klaus-free life.” ~ Tyler
Got any burning questions or favorite quotes you’d like to share? Leave ’em in the comments and then hang on to your blood bags till next week’s season finale, “The Departed”! (Is it too much to hope for a Matt Damon or Leo DiCaprio cameo? Probably.)
Tara Gelsomino is a reader, writer, pop culture junkie, and internet addict. You can tweet her at @taragel.