Our Lost Girl obsession is going strong! If you’re just now diving into the show, be sure to check out all of Kiersten Krum’s recaps, from Season 1 up to the most recent Season 2 episode aired on SyFy (episode 1, episode 2, episode 3, episode 4). All caught up? Good. And now, on to part 2 of the recap for Monday night’s episode, 2.05, “BrotherFae of the Wolves”—if you missed it, part 1 is here!
Where we left off in Part 1:
“Good tae see ya, man,” NewGuy says to Dyson and they hug it out complete with the manly back pat.
And now, on to Part 2...
At the Dal (drink!),
Trick is delivering a punch line to Dyson and NewGuy while Kenzi hovers unnoticed in the back eavesdropping. Dyson is, regrettably, no longer wet, and neither are his white shirt and jeans. Must be some special fae power to self dry. That or he whirled around really fast a la Wonder Woman. The three men laugh and NewGuy introduces himself as Cayden. A name for Fae of the Week and we’re only at 2:22? Show, it’s like I don’t even recognize you anymore! What is the deal with Cayden’s need to stick out his tongue when he laughs? It’s – not appealing. Dyson tops off their pints from the pitcher Trick brought over as Kenzi quick steps her way back to the bar where Bo sits watching the men, avidly. She tells Bo that NewGuy’s name is Cayden, and Bo nods expectantly. After an anticipatory pause, Kenzi admits the name is all she got. “Three walk-bys and all you got was a name?” Bo asks. “Way to go, Mata Hari.” Dyson sets his pint down and smacks the table. “Come on!” he eggs Cayden holding his arm out and throwing in a challenging eyebrow waggle. Oh great, now they’re gonna arm wrestle. Pretty soon they’ll be out back determining who has the longer – stream. At least I hope they go out back first. Cayden crows, “Ahhh, you wanna do it?!” he challenges with an Irish lilt that does nothing to improve his appeal and that says something coming from me. Dyson and NewGuy have clasped hands and are primed to arm wrestle. NewGuy puts Trick’s on top of theirs to referee. “This is mine,” NewGuy tells Dyson with an Irish lilt to his voice. Dyson is all eager glee as they lean into each other and brace for impact. I gotta admit it’s nice to see our wolf smiling and having fun again, even if it is juvenile boy fun.
Trick asks if they’re ready and sets them loose. There’s grunting and shouting and teeth baring and, dear God,
there’s Cayden ’s sticks his tongue out again! What the hell?! Dude, unless you’re looking to lick Dyson, (and I totally understand that urge), keep it behind your teeth already!
“Oh, you’ve lost it, lad!” Dyson shouts. “You’ve lost it!” and he slams Cayden’s hand down, grinning a massive, unrestrained smile that I’m not entirely sure we’ve ever seen before. The men laugh and Cayden slams the table with (I think fake) disappointment at the loss.
Sitting at the bar avidly watching, Bo and Kenzi are fascinated at this manly display. “Really,” Bo muses. “So that is normal male behavior?” Having grown up in a world of women, I totally get her bemusement. Kenzi assures her that it is and puts it in terms Bo can relate to. “It’s like a girlie squeal over a 70% off sale at a shoe store. Or in your case, the anything-you-can-unsheath store.” She adds that it’s a vote of assurance between BFFs. Bo wonders if Cayden is Dyson’s BFF, then why haven’t they heard of him before? Bo has always wanted to know more about Dyson’s past as far back as Faetal Justice if not sooner, Kenzi: “It is a riddle, cloaked in a mystery, wrapped in layers of hot, hot manliness.” Amen, sistah.
As Trick leaves the men to it, Dyson and Cayden slowly rise from their chairs, egging each other on with more guttural grunts. Crouched across the table, they grab the back of each other’s necks and press foreheads together, shouting louder and louder until they’re full on growling. They collapse back into their respective chairs. Dyson is breathing heavily, bless him. He looks so relieved, so relaxed and happy as though the angst and turmoil that has plague him since his encounter with The Norn has finally eased. Poor wolf boy.
Bo, still watching but perplexed: “And that would mean?” Kenzi: “It’s, ah, either something vaguely bi-curious or they’re just hungry. Either way, I’m just glad they’re not sniffing each other’s butts.” Trick joins them just in time to hear this last bit. “And on that note,” he says and begins to leave again, but Bo leans over the bar to stop him and asks him who’s Dyson’s mysterious friend who they’ve never heard of before? Kenzi: “Yeah, dude, what is the deal with Benicio del Lobo?”
Trick eyes them cautiously, but informs them that Dyson and Cayden used to run with a pack of shifters. Bo notes that this means they go way back. Kenzi wonders if they’re talking about 10, maybe 15 years. Trick says try a few hundred. Kenzi: “So I guess they’re not reminiscing about the big game in high school.” Trick says, with a fond grin, that they were a little busy crushing the enemies of their king into bloody sacks of meat. His smile falls as he reviews his own words. “So, actually, that could be exactly what they’re talking about.”
It’s flashback time! We know this because our picture has just gone all sepia toned, as the Here Be Dragons days were well before color TV. The camera pans over a glen and the sound of clashing swords clangs through the air. Screaming Stunt Guy comes running down the hill, face painted with war symbols. Medieval Dyson, with some sort of dreadlocked hair extensions, and Medieval Cayden are back to back and immediately engage Screaming Stunt Guy in swordplay – not like that.
Trick voiceovers the battle, expositioning that, for a hundred years, Cayden and Dyson were once part of a pack of wolves, mercenary warriors from all over who were bound to the Fae King of Ailech. “They were called Laignach Faelad. They were feared.” Medieval Dyson and Medieval Cayden finish off their opponents, though Medieval Dyson takes a slice on the arm for his efforts, and we see that his eyes are wolf gold. As Medieval Cayden joins his side, Medieval Dyson smacks his friend on the arm in victory.
Back at The Dal (drink!), Kenzi needs clarification. “You’re saying Dyson was a pack-matey, liege-serving warrior dude?” Trick confirms that he was, or at least until he severed his allegiance to the king. “After that he left the pack and Ailech forever.”
“So not really the same lone wolf we know today,” Bo points out. Trick gives her a look that I can’t really interpret, somewhere between come on and not hardly. I’m not sure if he’s trying to tell her that they all know Dyson hasn’t been a lone wolf for a while now, or that he was seriously joined at the pack with his wolf brothers back in the day. Actually, both work.
Bo, emphatically: “So what happened?!” Trick smiles broadly and shrugs. Even he doesn’t know this one. Kenzi: “What happens in the pack stays in the pack. I can feel it.”
Trick says that wolves typically serve their king until his death. “So either Cayden severed his ties too or…”
Switch back over to Cayden who, now that the male posturing and bonding has run its course, is telling Dyson that the king is dead. Long live the king. Dyson has his foot up on the table, elbow on knee, his pint casually dangling from his hand. Hmmmm. “Good,” he says with raw satisfaction. He wonders if Cayden was “with him to the end,” and Cayden confirms it. He brags about the things they did after Dyson left. “Ran with the Fenians back in the 1860s then made a killin’ selling surplus weapons from World War I.” Dyson does not look impressed. Old wounds still not healed in that direction. He asks what the king’s most recent business, ya know, like in this millennium. “Ah, war,” Cayden admits without rancor. “Always war.”
He tells Dyson the king set up a company in the late 90s called Majesty. This pings for Dyson. “The mercenaries,” he says, now a little bit impressed. “What are they worth, like –?” Cayden: “Billions.” He says he and the boys made some cash, spent most of it on booze and women. “The rest we wasted,” he snarks and Dyson laughs appreciatively. Cayden tells Dyson he was missed and Dyson nods, but his smile fades. He asks after “the lads” and Cayden brushes it off saying some stayed with Majesty, others went off to find another liege. “And they’d laugh their arses off to hear ya speakin’ all North American.” Dyson smiles slyly. “I can still talk the talk,” he drawls low and dark in THAT VOICE with the tinge of a brogue.
Let’s just get this outta the way. The accent is—okay. I think he’s going for Scottish but coming down somewhere south of Glasgow, East of Donegal and North of, well, the Mediterranean Sea, but I don’t care either way. I’m going with brogue because that’s what KHR calls it and, just, well, have at it y’all.
Cayden challenges him to prove it and they start spouting rousing Gaelic in thick brogues. They clink glasses and settle back in their chairs again satisfied that each of their penises is still of remembered heft and stature. Sorry, I may be reading subtext into that one. Dyson asks after Cayden himself, still in brogue mode, and whether he’ll be seeking a new king now. This is exactly the opening Cayden’s been waiting for. He’s going freelance, figures he can make a good chunk of change working for the international security companies.
These two men are a clear juxtaposition. Cayden has stayed in his warrior dude mode for hundreds of years. He is what Dyson would’ve become had he stayed with the pack and the king: stagnant. Perpetually locked in an antiquated bonhomie only looking for the next kill, the next buck.
Dyson is a vastly changed man from when he ran with the pack. He’s been a literal lone wolf and has had to adapt. He’s made friends outside the pack, non-shifters, and mated for life with a woman. He exceeds Cayden in every way.
Dyson has gone all pensive, staring at his glass as he asks Cayden, “and Ciara?”
Flashback! A woman in medieval peasant dress mixing a poultice with mortar and pestle for the wounded man at her side, who helpfully says her name without reason so that we know this is she. She tells Wounded Man that this is going to hurt a bit. Cayden voiceovers the scene, telling Dyson that Ciara is dead. The scene flips back to Dyson at The Dal. He asks Cayden when Ciara died. It’s clear he has—or had—beaucoup feelings for this woman, though apparently not enough to take her with him when he broke allegiance.
Cayden is clearly aware of Dyson’s feelings past or present for this woman. He says that Ciara took a walk with a grenade after the king died. “There wasn’t much left to bury,” he adds, not without gentleness.
Dyson doesn’t believe it. “No man. That’s not Ciara. She wouldn’t have done that.” Cayden leans forwards and points out that Dyson is a little biased in that area.
Flashback! There’s a pot cooking on an open fire and men’s laughter off screen. The camera pans around so we see skinned gamed cooking next to the fire and goblets being filled from flagons. Ren Faire after party! Ciara makes her way across the campground and two men start singing a ditty about a sweet lassie as she approaches them. It’s Medieval Dyson and another as-yet-unnamed pack brother who holds a hand out to Ciara. She sits on UPB’s lap and he kisses her as Medieval Dyson keeps singing, “whose eyes shone so glassy as she walks so sassy.” So, it’s ditty by thesaurus then. Medieval Mad Libs FTW!
Medieval Dyson’s arm is still bleeding, and once perfect Ciara is done kissing UPB, she notices the gaping slash in his arm. “This is deep,” she gently berates him. “You should have come to me right away.” But Medieval Dyson gently catches her small hand in his huge paw. “There were others hurt worse than I,” he claims all noble-like. Up on the hill, framed between them, Cayden looks on. Laughing, UPB pulls Ciara back onto his lap. “Get a hayloft!” Medieval Dyson orders them and now we know how old that axiom is.
He leaves them to it and joins Medieval Cayden who, with a knowing look towards Ciara and UPB warns Medieval Dyson to be careful. Medieval Dyson glances back at the couple, but asserts that Ciara is the wife of his best mate. “I watched Stefan grow up, become a warrior, fall in love. We fought side by side, (Medieval) Cayden. He’s like a brother to me.”
While Medieval Dyson is defending himself to Medieval Cayden, a messenger arrives and passes a scroll to Stefan. Medieval Dyson works his way back down the hill and Stefan informs him that it’s a summons from the king for an audience. “What, now?” Medieval Dyson asks, incredulous, and I assume he means that they just won a battle. Ciara doesn’t like it either, but off Stefan goes all naïve and honorable. At least we know what Medieval Dyson taught him how to be a dumbass too.
At The Dal, Bo answers her cell phone to find Doctor Lauren on the other end, apart rambling frantically. Bo tells her to stay where she is, “don’t move!” and hangs up, telling Kenzi and Trick that Doctor Lauren is at Hilton Hovel and is in trouble. “Come on,” she tells Kenzi. “We’re up.”
At Hilton Hovel (drink!), a freaked-out Doctor Lauren is explaining that, starting tomorrow, all humans are to be locked in their quarters unless they’re working, “complements of the new Ash.”
“Well, I mean, here you are, running amok,” Kenzi points out with a roll of her eyes. Bo shoots her a schooling look and Kenzi dials back with some regret. “I mean,” she allows, crossing to pat Doctor Lauren on the shoulder, “what an Ashhole.” Doctor Lauren admits she panicked and ran while she still could. “I didn’t know where else to go. I’m sorry,” she apologizes to Bo.
Naturally, Bo reassures her, grabbing Doctor Lauren’s shoulders as she asserts that The Ash can’t treat Doctor Lauren like this. “Yes he can!” Doctor Lauren corrects her. “The old Ash was more lenient than most, rules were bent, but this new one—” “He’s not so bendy. Right,” Bo finishes. She knows this first hand.
Bo stalks over to her weapons trunk and starts to gear up, but Kenzi stops her. “Please tell me you’re just blowing off steam.” Bo says first she’s going to go give The Ash a piece of her mind, “and then possibly a piece of my fist!” Doctor Lauren protests that Bo can’t as The Ash doesn’t know where she is right now. “I don’t know what he’ll do to either one of us if he finds out!” Bo doesn’t care. Good Lord is this whole scene dramatic. I must pay the rent! No, I’ll pay the rent! But it’ll take all your savings! My savings mean nothing without you to share them! Oh you fool. You loveable fool!
Bo is back in front of Doctor Lauren, emphatically insisting that Doctor Lauren stay as long as she needs. Kenzi retreats out of the firing zone. Doctor Lauren protests that she’d be putting Bo and Kenzi in too much danger. “Besides Bo,” she says, her voice breaking, “I don’t want to complicate things.” Her face is so earnest. This makes Bo pause mid protest. “Oh,” she says softly, catching on. “Yeah.” But a second later she doesn’t care. “You think of this as a safe haven.” Poor Doctor Lauren. She probably hasn’t had a safe haven in years. What? I’m not so cold I can’t empathize with the doc for a second. It’s not like it’ll last.
“Gee,” chirps Kenzi. “I wonder what could possibly go wrong.” Bo shoots her another look, but gotta admit Kenzi has a point.
Back at The Dal (drink!), Cayden in drunkenly wandering back from the bar, singing another ditty. Dyson is still in his chair, still effortless emoting pheromones, more than a little buzzed himself, but I think still lost in thoughts of yesteryear. Cayden rubs his head and sings in his ear and as Dyson grins, I swear I expect Cayden to kiss his cheek, but thankfully he doesn’t.
The thrill of the reunion is ebbing a bit for our wolf and he tells Cayden that only two things make a man travel this far: women and money. “If only I were chasing tail, my friend,” Cayden muses. He admits that he’s on the trail of a big score—a weapon that was stolen from an armament contractor for light fae. So I guess Cayden is light fae then too. Dyson asks what kind of weapon? Cayden: “The kind that goes boom,” and Dyson shakes his head ruefully as Cayden details a WMD that “makes military-grade warheads look like laser tag.” He needs Dyson help finding it. “Why me,” Dyson asks, amused. Cayden says it’s in Dyson’s back yard as it came in on a ship two days ago. “The docks,” Dyson confirms. “That’s dark fae territory. There’s a lot of places down there that I can’t enter.” Cayden: “So you can’t help me then.” Dyson: “I can’t,” he emphasizes. His mouth twitches into a wry half smile. “But I know someone.”
At Hilton Hovel (drink!), there’s a knock at the door. As Bo approaches, Dyson can be heard singing “standing cocky at an ahhhhh,” which is all kinds of adorable and intoxicating. She opens the door to a rumpled, smiling, drunk Dyson, framed in the opened doorway. Somewhere along the way, he has changed out of the no-longer-wet white shirt and blue jeans and into his standard black on black on black shirt, coat and pants. If a mellow, drunk, smiling, horny Dyson showed up at my door, he would not remain standing for long. Unless…
Where was I? Right, hot Dyson in the doorway. Bo: “If you’re looking for a booty call, you’re banging down the wrong door.” Cayden claps Dyson shoulder and comes into view as Dyson opens the door wider. “Ah, that’s too bad, darlin’,” Cayden drawls. “I hate to see a good banging go to waste.” HA! Bo finger guns Cayden. “You need to put a leash on that one,” she tells a smirking Dyson and leads the way inside.
“Actually,” he says, stumbling in behind her, “what I need is a, ah –” he sees Doctor Lauren cowering in the arm chair and pauses, “solid,” he finishes. “Sorry,” he adds, steadying himself on the back of the other arm chair as Cayden brushes by between him and Bo. Cayden smirks at Bo as he passes. “We’re interrupting something obviously,” Dyson continues and he’s just drunk enough to layer an obnoxious, schoolboy laugh underneath his words. It’s possible that the booze and reliving his younger wilder days with Cayden has made him see some of the absurdity in their personal quagmire, but I’m leading toward the booze regressing him all the same. Doctor Lauren stands, tense and uncomfortable and still terrified. “Maybe it’s me who’s in the way.” she offers. Yes, doc, repeatedly. See? Toldja my empathy wouldn’t last.
I remind myself that, as far as we know, the doc has no idea what’s gone down between Bo and Dyson. Locked away in the Ash’s keep as she’s been, there hasn’t really been time for an update chat with Bo since Dyson’s return, which also adds weight to her desire not to “confuse” the issue with Bo.
Cayden, blissfully oblivious to the charged subtext in the room, drops down on the couch next to Kenzi with a grin and props his feet on the table. Kenzi, no fool, immediately scoots back from him. Bo and Dyson stand angled at the end of the couch facing Doctor Lauren who is still planted in front of the chair at the opposite end. They are now officially the Awkward!Threesome™ for season two. Drink as you like depending on your allegiance.
“So,” Cayden pipes up. “How do y’all know each other?” Brother, there are season one DVDs now to explain all that! But only in Canada. Also some nifty recaps! Check the header for links!
Oh, all right. Everyone stares at everyone else and no one else at the same time with Cayden the only one not feeling the Awkward! (sans Threesome on that one). Disgusted with Dyson’s tool of a bosom buddy, Bo breaks the stalemate by kicking Cayden’s feet off the table and plopping down in the empty armchair. “Sorry love,” Cayden mumbles, sitting up and, more importantly, shutting up.
“A Mongolian Death Worm?” Bo repeats, incredulous. Seated across from her on the arm of the couch, Cayden leaning around behind him, Dyson nods. Cayden adds that it’s extremely rare and dangerous too. Kenzi: “I’m guessing its powers aren’t moving real slow and then baking on a sidewalk in the sun?” Dyson, hilariously, closes his eyes and gives one head shake before peering at Kenzi over his shoulder.
“I’ve read about these in a text on matter transmutation,” Doctor Lauren inserts. Of course you have, doc. “I believe it produces an electrical force that liquefies just about anything.” Cayden puts in that a brutal regime in North African is already trying to get its hands on the Worm and Dyson adds that the worse of the fae criminals are going to be after it too. “If it’s still in the city,” Bo counters. “Probably gone all black market by now.” Kenzi: “Wait. There’s a fae black market? Somebody has got to get me a Cherry Coke!” Cayden stares at her, dumbfounded while Dyson rubs a hand over his eyes clearly thinking, I’m much too drunk to deal with Kenzi right now. “What?!” Kenzi whines at Cayden. “They’re like really hard to get!” Are they? Really? Cause I’m pretty sure I saw some down at Shop Rite last week. UPS me Dyson, and I’ll send up a case!
Dyson tells Bo that if The Worm is still in the city, there’s a good chance it’s at an arms dealers they’ve been watching down at the docks. I’m gonna go ahead and assume he means him and Hale because Cayden just got there and the only thing he’s watching is his own ass. And Bo’s cleavage, but everyone gapes at that. “That’s down at the docks,” Doctor Lauren inserts with some alarm. “Yes it is,” Dyson confirms quietly, his gaze never leaving Bo. “However…” Bo begins to get it and the real reason that brought Dyson to her door for a “solid”. Kenzi: “Oh, of course. Send in the succubus.” Well, maybe next year. “Wait, what, I’m just supposed to waltz into an arms dealer’s joint and say…”
Cut to the arms dealer’s showroom. “…How much for this cute little fellow?” Bo asks, knitting the two scenes together nicely. She’s lifting the glass top off of what looks like a fuzzy koosh ball. The arms dealer freaks out and makes her put the top back, identifying the Koosh ball as a Keukegan! Bo tries to laugh off her mistake, “don’t want to unleash that action,” and arms dealer adds that without a gas mask, the Kerkegen would be deadly. “Of course, if you knowledge of fae weaponry was comprehensive, you’d know that, wouldn’t you.” Bo pauses, but quickly regroups and admits to being busted. He gives her 20 seconds to explain herself and Bo says she works independently, neither dark nor light. “Things are sticky in the middle so I thought I should arm up.” Plausible and near enough to the truth to maybe work.
AD: “You’re not that rogue succubus I’ve heard so much about, are you?” Bo giggles. “Double busted.” He wonders what exactly she’s looking for and Bo brings up The Worm. “Yes, well that would be a specialty item,” AD says, coming out from behind the desk and leading her into the back of the store. His computer screen says “DeSIGNER Modern Contemporary Furniture”. For some reason that amuses me. Full points prop department for covering all the bases. Except they’re clearly filming on location so it may be product placement, in which case I’ll say boo.
Bo looks out the window as AD passes her by. Across the street, Dyson and Cayden are keeping watch from the car. Dyson thinks they shouldn’t have sent Bo in alone, but Cayden laughs and pops the top of a beer. “Chill out, man,” he advises Dyson. But then, he doesn’t know Bo the way our wolf does. Dyson tells Cayden that Bo is tough and can handle herself but he doesn’t know AD and that has him worried. Cayden shrugs it off, suggestion that they should “dry gultch the guy, huh? Like the way we set up that ambush on the way to Donegal?” Dyson isn’t having any. “She could get hurt,” he says quietly. “Or worse.” Is that concern I hear, from I-can-never-love-you-again Dyson? I’m beginning to think the writers have some sort of split personality he-loves-her-he-loves-her-not thing going on. He also appears to have sobered up quite a bit.
Flashback! Medieval Dyson it trailing Stefan, insisting that the younger man is going to get himself killed. Stefan insists that the king has a battle plan and Stefan is delivering the plan on his behalf. “Aye!” Medieval Dyson yells, “Across enemy lines!” He insists on going with Stefan, who refuses the offer. “The command is clear,” Stefan declares. Medieval Dyson doesn’t understand: why Stefan and why now and why does he have to go alone?! “It is the edict of the king. We live and die by his inclinations.” Kid seems awfully casual about tossing his life away. Medieval Dyson: “Or his stupidity.” Whoa. Somebody’s chafing under his fealty. Stefan tells Medieval Dyson he knows D-man thinks his friend is headstrong but this is about more than just the two of them. “Lest you forget, dying for the king is a great honor.” Didja forget about your wife there, kid? Honor doesn’t keep you warm at night.
Medieval Dyson looks like he wouldn’t consider it so anymore. And as Stefan goes off to prove his obedience, Medieval Dyson pulls him up short. “I cannae let you go!” he tells Stefan. Stefan tells him that he’s accepted his fate. “Nothing can change that.” Exeunt Stefan. Medieval Dyson stares after his friend and if Stefan is headstrong, Medieval Dyson is downright intractable. “One thing might,” he mutters, clearly planning to take matters into his own hands. Not like that! Medieval Dyson bounces off into the heather.
We cut back and forth between Stefan mounting his horse and setting off on his mission to Medieval Dyson running through the forest. He’s running! He’s running! As Stefan gallops away, Medieval Dyson warily enters a clearing, nodding acknowledgement to someone off screen. He takes a knee before a younger Norn who is no less creepy for having fewer lines in her face. The Norn is leaning against a large tree. Wait. How did she get that tree from the Medieval Scottish forest to the parlor of a ramshackle cottage in Canada? Ugh. Altogether now: eh, whatever.
The Norn is preening, natch. “Who are you to approach –The Norn?” Who also apparently feels the need to refer to herself in the third person. Medieval Dyson admits that he’s no one (poor wolf boy!) but he’s come to ask her to intervene to save the life of a good man in mortal danger, Stefan Obreen. The Norn drawls that saving a life is the most difficult thing that can be granted. “Yet it can be done,” Medieval Dyson affirms and The Norn confirms it. “But there is a price.” Medieval Dyson, beautiful dumbass that he was even then, tells her to name it. This is woefully familiar.
“The price is your wolf,” The Norm demands. Medieval Dyson is more than taken aback. “My wolf?! That’s all that I am.” The Norn: “Then will you give all that you are to save the life of your friend?” One look at Medieval Dyson’s face gets The Norn cackling. She knows he’s not about to give up his wolf; she knows the refusal to do so is worse for a man like him than actually losing it. And so, she still wins. The Norn takes in payment what you value most in exchange for what you most desire.
Wrecked by this painful look into his heart, Medieval Dyson roars his displeasure and takes off running!– He’s running! –while The Norn cackles with delight.
Back in the present day, Dyson slowly drives the car down the side of the building and I mean glacier slow. You cannot tell me that this study of KHR driving the car to its mark couldn’t have been cut for time/adverts instead of the wolf bonding at The Dal?! What the hell, show?!
Inside, AD is asking Bo exactly how she heard of The Worm when not too many people actually know about it. He pauses just shy of an open crate as Bo catches up and walks past him as she opines that he really doesn’t need to know that, “Do you, Mister Cumberbatch?” I’m sorry, Cumberbatch?! As in Benedict?! BWAH HA HA!! If that isn’t a shout out to the ever-vexing (hee) if totally brilliant BBC Sherlock Holmes, I am seriously losing my teledar, and we know how likely that is to happen. (It’s not likely, OK? Yeesh.)
Cumberbatch warns that one can never be too certain. The music goes all squiggly as Bo peers into the open crate and, presumably, finds it empty. She prowls back toward Cumberbatch, clearly meaning to pour some succubus juice on the dealer. For once, her prey is on top of things, and backs away. “Stop right there. I happen to be a happily married man.” Unfathomably, Bo does what he says and stays put. Cumberbatch presses a button and a net falls from the ceiling. She’s not even looking at him – so she misses the hilarious open-mouthed grin he wears as the net drops down to cover Bo. Actually, he reminds me of Tom Bergeron.
After her initial start, Bo snarks about Cumberbatch’s hospitality “you suck at it!” Cumberbatch: “What? You didn’t think I was going to have a security system?” Still under the net and totally unconcerned despite the fact that Cumberbatch is loading up some sort of gun, Bo tells him it’s actually not all that impressive “I mean, what happens next, I get crushed by plushies?” Cumberbatch: “Oh fae power plushies are so 2007.” HA! Besides, he has this great new toy he’s been dying to try out and it’s only gonna hurt for a minute! He shoots a dart at Bo’s chest, but she gets her arm up to take it in her palm instead. Very anticlimactic. “Oh look,” she sneers. “I got an ouchie!”
Cumberbatch is undeterred, but watches with barely restrained glee as whatever was in the dart begins to work into Bo’s hand. Bo starts screaming in pain and goes to the floor.
Back in the car, Dyson is twitching, squeezing his phone in hindered frustration. Cayden wonders why they don’t just go in and get Bo. “It’s a dark fae place of business,” Dyson reminds him. “There’s rules here, Cayden!” Cayden: “Rules are for suckers.” He gets out of the car and heads in after Bo while Dyson fumes uselessly in his seat, unable to go against his allegiance.
“What the hell was in that dart?!” Bo demands of Cumberbatch. He says he’s not quite sure. “I got it in a surprise bag of weapons I bought and you never know what you’re gonna get with one of those.” Hee. I like this guy. All the fun fae are the dark fae. Such as in life, I guess. He asks Bo, on a scale of one to excruciating, how is the pain? Bo gets to her feet, insisting that she can handle it.
“You know, I think this little play date has come to an end,” Cumberbatch muses, reloading the dart gun. “I wonder what I could get for a dead succubus.”
“Well, that’s something you’re never going to find out,” Cayden interjects, coming up behind the surprised Cumberbatch. He grabs the dealer by the throat as Bo finally makes her way out from under the net. She takes the dart gun from Cumberbatch’s hand and aims it – at Cayden. “Hey! Him!” he orders with a head jerk at Cumberbatch. The dealer gasps that he’ll make them a deal. If they find The Worm, he’ll pay them twice what everyone else is offering. Bo, incredulous and still struggling with the pain, “You try to dart gun my brain and then you want to make a deal?!” Cumberbatch, red faced with the effort to breathe: “Business is business!”
Bo: “Cayden? Be a dear and knock the business outta this jackhole!” Cayden says it’ll be his pleasure. As Bo struggles to retrieve and hold on to Cumberbatch’s laptop, Cayden breaks something in the dealer that sends him to the ground.
Bo pauses at a table on the way out to wrap her hand. “You OK?” Cayden asks casually as he walks past. “That jerkoff killed my hand,” Bo updates him with bad temper.
As soon as Dyson sees Cayden lift open the warehouse door, he is out of the car and quickly lopes across the distance to Bo. “You’re hurt!” he points out needlessly. “You’re perceptive,” Bo sneers, still pissed and in pain. He asks if she found out anything on the worm and Bo admits that Cumberbatch definitely knows something but he’s not giving it up, which is why she swiped the laptop. She hands it over to him. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and see if you can find something on it.”
“You need to heal first,” Dyson says and we all know how she does that. He seems to be implicitly offering himself for the duty, or maybe it’s just that this is the first time it’s come up since The Norn issue so they haven’t had to confront the situation until now. Of course, Bo’s had to find her way around it without him while he was off licking his wounds for three weeks, but I doubt Dyson’s taken that into account. Are the faint patches they seemed to put over their relationship in Mirror Mirror enough to handle this? Can he even feed her if he can’t feel passion for her? Also, this one of Dyson’s major roles in her life and the first time he hasn’t been her automatic go to when he’s been available. Think it’s his first time realizing this additional consequence of his choice with The Norn – his inability to heal her.
“I’m good!” Bo insists without pausing in her quick stride. Dyson stops for a minute and quickly takes her measure. “The hell you are,” he calls after her because he knows her. Bo: “I mean I don’t need your help. You’re not the only wolf in town, you know,” she sneers as she opens the door. “Shotgun!” Oh, snap! Dyson’s face! That did not occur to him. Honestly, I’m not sure he knows what to do with himself right now. I think it honestly never occurred to him that she would take someone else while he was around, no matter what was going on between them. Dyson glances over his shoulder at Cayden who’s been following the pair, for once keeping his mouth shut. Cayden gives him an eyebrow shrug. Sorry mate. That is gonna be one hell of an uncomfortable ride back home.
For the record, I think that Bo is totally due to get some of her own from Dyson here. He put them in this situation, now this is what they’re both going to have to live with going forward whether they like it or not. Yeah, yeah, he did it out of love for her, but since then he’s made it perfectly clear that she should move on and that he has done so already. Yes, they seem to have come back onto an even keel in Mirror Mirror, but she’s hurt, she’s pissed that he sent her in there without any real backup but his douche friend who she doesn’t know or trust, and she got netted like a fish! I say have at him, kiddo.
Interestingly, we get a content warning from the SyFy channel before this next bit.
At Hilton Hovel (drink!) a naked Cayden is in Bo’s bed and under an equally naked Bo as she feeds off him. The blue saliva of power swirls between them but though still not gross per se, it’s definitely not as hot as with the real wolf boy. They’re both getting off on it. Bo sits back, breathing deep, her eyes power blue and unwraps her hand to show it’s all glowy and healed. Cayden leans up to kiss her again sans power feed. “You’re not going to stop now, are you?” he murmurs. Bo confesses that she doesn’t usually go all the way, though I’d bet she wasn’t going to tell Dyson that. Cayden: “I’m a big bad wolf.” You’re a tool Cayden. Don’t kid yourself. “You can round all my bases.” High on power, Bo dives in without another thought. They go at it vigorously and with gusto, rolling around on the bed as the music swells, Bo gasping and clawing at the headboard as Cayden – eye roll here – pounds away at her. Admittedly, she doesn’t seem to mind. It’s possible, this is her first full on coitus since Bloodlines, and the first time she’s had sex with someone who wasn’t Dyson since Vexed. Nothing less than a watershed screw.
Downstairs, the camera pans over the scattered debris of a bake off. Did Aoife return to make roofie cookies again?! But no, it’s Doctor Lauren (oh, right!) who is channeling her angst at Bo banging Cayden right above her head (and likely quite loudly) into cupcakes.
“Amazing!” Bo exclaims as she pads into the room wrapped in her red kimono (sigh). She crosses the room to the kitchen, casting a disdainful What?! glance at Dyson who is hovering over Kenzi’s shoulder as the Goth girl sits at the desk working on the laptop. Dyson and Kenzi both track Bo’s walk as she passes by, but Dyson alone stares after her. The wealth of things going on there for both of them – disappointment, understanding, resentment – makes just one intention hard to pin down.
Bo reaches for a cupcake, but Doctor Lauren stops her. “They haven’t cooled yet," she explains somewhat tersely. She’s standing behind the kitchen table wearing an apron as though she’s presenting the final challenge in Top Chef. Poor doc. Yes, I said poor doc.
In the background, Dyson watches them still until Kenzi’s head tilts back and she silently nudges Dyson back to the laptop at hand. Doctor Lauren fidgets in place and Bo zooms figures out things are not as kosher as she’d like them to be. “You’re not – mad, are you?” she asks gently. Dyson is watching them again, but at this, his gaze lowers with resignation. Gotta suck that one up there, wolf boy. And it does indeed suck.
Doctor Lauren sighs and reluctantly assures Bo that it’s all right. “You had to heal. It’s who you are.” Yes, but neither the doc, nor Dyson, have to like it. And they obviously don’t.
Cayden wanders in wearing shorts and a tee-shirt. He smiles at Dyson and Kenzi as he crosses to Bo’s side. Kenzi sneers at him as though some foul odor has just entered the room. Dyson remains mostly enigmatic, but clearly not at all pleased.
The Awkward! in this scene is mind blowing. Bo’s just banged a guy upstairs while her two former lovers, with whom she is still in love, wait for her downstairs and doesn’t even bat an eye (bless). Sure, one is unable to feed her sexual need due to some pesky humanity issue and the other because he’s a dumbass (albeit a beautiful one) but still. I think it would’ve been worse if she had taken Doctor Lauren upstairs instead. At least here, the doc and Dyson are on the same ground – sort of.
Anyways, Cayden, because he’s a tool, sidles up behind Bo. He wraps his arms around her as though they’re now going steady and grabs a cupcake, grunting his approval even as Doctor Lauren objects again that they haven’t cooled. Bo rolls her eyes, but oddly enough, doesn’t push him off or object to this display. If I had to guess, I would say it’s because she’s still looking to hurt Dyson though she doesn’t seem too bothered by the fact that she’s taking a few chunks from Doctor Lauren too. I find this to be a bit deviant from her character, but if I started whingeing about character consistency this late in the game, we’ll be here all year.
Cayden asks if the doc made them. “Tastier than my mum’s,” he compliments her and moseys off for some milk, making himself at home. Well, he’s already helped himself to the lady of the house; might as well raid her fridge while he’s at it.
Doctor Lauren is really upset, and deals with it by geeking out. Typically, it’s really cute. “It’s the CO2 bubbles,” she explains. “It gives the dough its light airy texture. You add just the right amount of baking powder and then ensure the fat content to retain the gas element and then throw in the eggs as a binding element.”
All four of them have been watching the doc as she breaks baking down to a chemical experiment. Kenzi to Dyson: “Wow. She just totally took all the fun outta yummy.”
“Miss the lab much?” Bo asks the doc, not without affection, and Doctor Lauren rolls her eyes at herself. She wonders if it was too rash running away the way she did. “If I return now and apologize, maybe The Ash’s punishment will be lenient.” Bo disagrees. “I’ve met the guy. Lenient would be an ankle bracelet of razors.” Cayden crosses behind Bo and pads back across the room to join Kenzi and Dyson. Bo insists that if the doc goes back now, it will give Lachlan even more power over her than before. This makes sense to the doc. “You’re safe here,” she reiterates, and Doctor Lauren nods, but is still afraid.
Over at the desk, Cayden has just said something to Dyson that he doesn’t like, and then Cayden cackles with satisfaction and makes his way back upstairs. Something happened there that didn’t make it to the final cut, I’m sure of it. Suddenly, Kenzi pounds the desk in victory. “Yeah, bitches!” Bo and Doctor Lauren glance over askance. “My genius hacker buddy in Vienna totally came through,” Kenzi explains. “We’re in,” Dyson clarifies.
Everyone is gathered behind the desk looking at the laptop, Cayden and Doctor Lauren standing slightly back from the Dynamic Trio as they do that thing they do so well together. Dyson says that according to an email sent yesterday, the auction for The Worm is going down tonight. “That is a very elite group of invitees,” Bo observes. Dyson thinks it’s going to be hard for them to blend in but Bo grins and points something out on the screen to Kenzi, who is already there. “Not necessarily,” Bo says and Kenzi adds that the two of them can totally pull off the infamous Romanian Cantacuzini sisters.
“I’m not going to let you go in alone this time,” Dyson asserts in THAT VOICE. He may not be able to heal her, Bo may not want him to heal her, but he’ll be damned if he leaves her unprotected again. Immediately Bo gets her back up as she plays with her cupcake. “That almost sounded like an order.” Yep. She’s still pissed.
Surprisingly, it’s Cayden who steps into the fray before Dyson can stick more of his foot in his mouth, though his face is totally rocking the well, yeah response. “What he means is, we can’t just sit here and do nothin’.” Kenzi, in an announcer’s voice: “Oh and it’s a last minute save by Cayden! And the crowd goes wild – wild –wild!” Heee. Girl is finally having some fun at the expense of the Awkward!Threesome. For their part, the various reactions of the four adults – and I use the term loosely – is hilarious. Bo: “You guys are going to do something. Dangerous hotties like ourselves are obviously going to need muscle.” “And man candy!” Kenzi chirps in. “Lots and lots of man candy!” Looks like somebody’s been tracking our Man Candy Monday nights on Twitter! Holla! Kenzi turns around to look pointedly at Cayden, who catches her eye and adds an appreciative eyebrow waggle. Still not as hot as Dyson.
I guess Doctor Lauren gets to keep the home fires burning then? Uh huh.
Dyson, Bo, and Kenzi are at the auction. A suited man is standing on a stage in front of a shrouded cage welcoming the attendees. Dyson checks his phone as Kenzi grabs a flute of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter. While constantly scanning the room, Dyson tells Bo that Cayden is in position covering the back. Bo shoots a look at Kenzi from the corner of her eye as Hale – HALE! Good to see you, brother! They just trotting you out for muscle and man candy work these days? –takes position at Dyson’s shoulder. I would’ve LOVED to see a Hale and Cayden meet up. “How many of those have you had?” Bo asks her bestie. Kenzi looks at the glass and shakes her head no big then admits “lots”.
Suit guy goes into a spiel about one of the world’s rarest and most dangerous weapons giving it the whole WWE announcement treatment: “The formidable Mongolian DEATH WORM!!!!” The shroud drops to reveal an old woman sitting in a chair in the back of a pick up watching a hand-held television on which Wheel of Fortune is playing. There’s a collective gasp from the audience and confused looks from our Dynamic Trio. Hale alone laughs and nearly applauds at the reveal, totally loving this. I love Hale! “Ladies and gentlemen,” Suit Guy intones, “meet Velma!” The old lady gives a patently fake smile. Hang on. Does this mean Shaggy and Daphne are back there somewhere too? Ruh roh.
Kenzi: “So, that’s the feared Mongolian Death Worm? What is she going to do, gum us to death?” Velma, not paying attention to anything but the TV, pulls out a cigarette. “Anybody gotta light?”
Suit Guy explains that Velma is a three-thousand-year old Mongolian Death Worm whose destructive power can outmatch any human made missile. Got that? Good. Because other than serving as the MacGuffin, she has absolutely no importance to this episode.
Hale, still highly amused, thinks it’s actually brilliant packaging. “I mean, who’s going to suspect a little old lady?”
Bo: “Yeah, you’ve never had to battle one at a 50% off sale.” Suit Guy goes on to detail the product, how she is well known for her part in the Greco Persian war and is the inspiration for the Archimedes Death Ray. Kenzi slinks off while he’s prattling and while both Dyson and Bo look after her wondering, neither of them stops her, distracted by the fact that Cumberbatch has appeared on the scene, obnoxiously toasting Bo with his flute, which is absolutely not a euphemism, thank God. He is also wearing a cravat, which, bitch please.
Suit Guy emphasizes that Velma’s declining mental acumen has made her much more user-friendly.
Velma chooses this moment to yell at the TV “Come on! Give it a spin!” And while Suit Guy insists that her dementia onset does not affect her powers, Kenzi returns to the huddle.
Suit Guy demonstrates that the TV set is Velma’s most treasured possession and ergo, serves as her activation key. If you take it from her, “you will incite rage.” Whoever holds the key controls Velma and cannot be targeted by her either. He demonstrates by having her vaporize a nearby Humvee with the frickin’ lasers that shoot out from her eyeballs.
The crowd gasps again and this time even the Dynamic Trio is horrified, though Hale, once again, is laughing. Suit Guy explains that deactivating Velma is done simply by returning the television. “Never, ever, misplace the television,” he warns.
Bo leans into Dyson. “I don’t know whether to be impressed or terrified,” she admits. Dyson: “I’m going with terrified.” Me too, lovah. Hold me. Kenzi wordlessly communicates her fear by returning her nearly full champagne flute to the waiter’s tray. Hale alone takes note. Suit Guy opens the bidding at 20 million and Bo is the first one to bite.
The auction builds: 25 million dollars – 50 – 75 million – 80! The bidding goes back and forth between Cumberbatch and Bo, but as Bo takes the lead, Cumberbatch decamps before the bidding ends. Broody Dyson stands at Bo’s back as she pushes on, watching all the corners, looking for the next threat. The bidding rises – Bo acknowledges a 120 million dollar bid. “Going once, going twice…”
Kenzi can’t stand it anymore and shoots her hand up in the air: “ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY million dollars!” Her voice drops ridiculously at the end. Hale throws his hands up and starts shaking his head the moment she opens her mouth. He smacks her arm down with a tight smile. “Little Mama,” he chides through his teeth. “If you mess this up for us, there’s a good chance you’re gonna leave here in a bucket.” Kenzi: “I’m sorry. Auction fever.”
Bo steps in with a closing bid of 155 million and takes the prize. “Good job,” Dyson murmurs. “Yeah, right,” she agrees quietly. “So, now all we have to do is not pay for the Death Worm, kidnap killer grandma, and get the hell outta here without being liquefied. No biggie.”
Alone, Bo and Dyson re-entered the auction room. Bo tries to charm Suit Guy, but he’s dropped his fake charm and demands no name, just give him the money, cash, jewelry, or bank transfer only, they get Velma, and everyone goes their separate ways. He punctuates this by kicking a leather bag at Bo. Velma: “Hush children, I’m watching my stories.”
Bo: “How ‘bout none of the above?” and she kicks the bag back over. Suit Guy is confused so Dyson clarifies things by confiscating Velma in the name of The Ash. Suit Guy laughs at them and sends his guards in. Dyson takes the offensive, punching one guard out right away. Second Guard tries to choke him from behind, but Bo slides up and grabs his arm, funneling the succubus powers in long enough for Dyson to break the guard’s hold and punch him out too. Suit Guy grabs the television from Velma and orders her to move as he holds it before Bo and Dyson with implied threat.
But as Suit Guy and Velma begin to exit out the back, Dyson catches sight of someone. Cayden slips up behind Suit Guy and snatches the television from his grasp. But what’s this? Cayden calls Suit Guy by name! “Hello Brikim. Old buddy. Old pal.” Suit Guy backs up slowly. “Cayden. Day-am. I can explain.”
Dyson wonders what’s going on. Bo: “You two know each other?!” Cayden says he and Brikim go way back. They stole the weapons together, transported her together and were going to sell her together, only Brikim reneged on that last part. And he’s such a nice guy, too!
“Cayden, you lying bastard,” Dyson growls and instinctively jerks forwards, but Bo’s hand on his arm holds him back. I think. Something stops him, but Suit Guy is standing in the view line. Suit Guy tries to talk his way out of this as Dyson slowly eases in front of Bo, shielding her.
“You need to forget about this,” Suit Guy tells Cayden. “We’re going to go back to our 50/50 split.” But Cayden’s answer is to draw a gun and aim it at Suit Guy. “60/40,” Suit Guy tries once more. “I think I’ll finish this gig solo,” Cayden says and shoots Suit Guy. Dyson and Bo jump a bit at the report of the gun, and Dyson reaches behind his back to grab Bo. As Suit Guy falls to the floor, Dyson and Bo are revealed in full. Bo is almost completely shielded by Dyson. She is holding his right arm across her torso while his left is bent behind his back to hold her in place and keep her covered.
Cayden waggles the television at Team Badass and whistles for Velma. “Thanks buddy,” he says to Dyson. “I couldn’t have done it without you.” As Cayden crosses left, Dyson tracks his movements with his own body, constantly moving to keep Bo behind him. Tellingly, Bo lets him, or at least until the blocking demands that she be more visible for the camera. Fae or not, neither one of them is likely to survive a run in with a bullet.
Dyson is fuming and Cayden knows him well enough to read when he’s getting ready to pounce. “Ah, ah, ah,” he warns. “You really don’t want to mess with this, do you?” Velma demands he return her TV. The camera shoots their exit from the back of the room, putting Bo and Dyson in shadow and we can see they’re holding hands. When push comes to shove, instinct trumps emotional angst every time. Exeunt Velma and Louise – er – I mean, Cayden.
Dyson stays in front of Bo until the door shuts behind Cayden and he’s sure she’s safe. Immediately, he bears his teeth and chases after his friend. He slams into the door, Bo on his heels, but it doesn’t budge. He punches it twice to no avail. He takes a few steps back and warns Bo to watch out. She scampers back to give him room to kick the shit outta the door.
Outside, the door flies open, tosses the plank Cayden used to brace it into the street. Dyson and Bo pour out into the sunlight, but Cayden and Velma are nowhere to be seen. Kenzi and Hale come running down the sidewalk. “Where’s laser granny?” Kenzi asks. “Yeah, and Cayden?” Hale adds. Dyson in a low and deadly voice: “Cayden’s gone.” Bo explains, “Cayden took Velma. Turns out he was nothing but a wolf in wolf’s clothing.” Hey, you’re the one who slept with him, kiddo.
At The Dal (drink!) Bo sits at the table across from Hale and Kenzi while agitated Dyson paces behind her. “How did we not see this coming?!” Bo wonders. SUCH a good question as the entire freaking universe saw this coming. Kenzi: “Because big whoopsies are 20/20 in hindsight?” Hale expositions that Cayden and that Brikim dude stole the Death Worm to begin with and Bo agrees that they were obviously in it together until Brikim stole the weapon for himself and almost pulled it off with the quickie auction.
Dyson apologizes for getting them all involved in this. “I trusted him; I didn’t think he’d betray me.” His eyes flicker onto Kenzi and in his face is an understanding of the pain of betrayal that drove her to curse him in Mirror Mirror. Naturally, Kenzi gets this and, equally appropriate, she’s the one to pull him from his funk. “D,” she whispers and then snaps her fingers at him when he doesn’t respond. “Yo! D!” His head jerks up as though he just caught himself falling asleep at the wheel. “I’m sorry man, but this is not the time to hit the snooze button,” Kenzi tells him. “We gots us a formidable fogey to find.” HA! Alliteration FTW – again!
Bo asks Dyson if he has any idea where Cayden may have taken Velma but he doesn’t. Kenzi wonders if he sold her to Miss Moneybags, one of the other aggressive bidders at the auction (I guess.) This pings for Bo who wonders if rather Cayden cut the deal Cumberbatch had offered to her. Dyson doesn’t think so. “He lost interest in the auction early.” Bo: “Exactly!”
Back at deSIGNER Furniture, Cayden is pouring a bunch of diamonds onto a table as Cumberbatch offers Velma her requested pudding. He compliments Cayden on his ingenious plan, stealing Velma “from the interlopers. Mind you, I didn’t know there was going to be bloodshed.” Oh no? That wasn’t you wondering the price for a dead succubus earlier?
“Every battle has its casualties,” Cayden mumbles as he examines the diamonds with a loupe. They shake on the deal and neither noticed that Bo has entered the room. Cumberbatch says not to worry, he’ll take good care of the old girl, but Cayden doesn’t care one way or the other. But as he leaves, he finally sees Bo, now with Hale, wide-mouthed with shock and blocking the way. I really can’t figure out why she looks so horrified when she first comes in, which makes me think again that something was taken out from the final Canadian cut.
Cayden immediately wrestles the television from a protesting Velma, who’s still pissed about the pudding. But as he dangles it before a wary Bo and Hale, there’s the sound of pounding feet and then Dyson’s literally flies into the frame and with a loud growl tackles Cayden.
Now they go at it in earnest. Cumberbatch is in a tizzy, yelling at Dyson that he’s light fae, “You don’t belong here! There are rules.” Dyson sticks his foot into Cayden’s belly and shoves him back. He blocks Cayden’s swing with one hand and hits him with the other. “Rules are for suckers!” he yells. Obviously, he’s the one feeling mighty suckered. Cayden and Dyson exchange various blows. Cayden knees Dyson in the stomach, twists his arm behind his back, and tries to ram him face-first into the wall again. This time, Dyson does that quick walk up the wall instead, flipping up and over Cayden’s head to land behind him so that it’s Cayden face that hits the wall. Look, it’s painfully clearly that this maneuver is done by stunt men, but it is no less cool for that and KHR’s stunt double has the same long legs, so the visual sticks.
Cayden throws backwards elbow shots at Dyson and spins around. Dyson grabs his throat, but Cayden breaks the hold and head butts Dyson.
“Where is that damned TV set?!” Bo asks frantically. “Hale, do you see it?” Hale, in the best line of the night: “What am I, the TV Whisperer?!” Cumberbatch decides to enter the fray and triggers his watch to shoot some kind of energy orb at Bo and Hale, which they easily dodge.
Now Hale is pissed. “You ain’t the only one with skills!” he tells Cumberbatch and lays some not-so-sweet siren song on the arms dealer, who recoils, grabbing his ears. Behind him, Cayden gets the upper hand on Dyson and pushes him down on a pile of boxes.
Velma has had about enough of this crap. She stands up with murder in her eye. “I said I wanted vanilla!” she grits out at Cumberbatch. His face is hilarious a mixture of absolute terror and lady, are you kidding me? He starts to beg Velma not to do it as her frickin’ laser eyes charge up. In total panic, Cumberbatch runs for it, cutting in front of Bo and Hale. Hale: “Oh no, don’t come this way!” Ha!
Velma shoots off her frickin’ lasers, barely missing everybody. Dyson, still struggle with Cayden who has our wolf by the throat, manages to point out where the TV landed. Cautiously, Bo approaches Velma, speaking soothingly as she slowly edges over to the TV and hands it back to The Worm. As she does this, Dyson manages to get Cayden by the throat too and, forcing his (former) friend back, comes to his feet growling. With a final roar, his clawed hand slashes across Cayden’s throat and the tool goes to the floor.
Dyson immediately checks on Bo, silently asking if she’s OK and Velma deactivated. Bo runs to his side and grabs his arm, reassuring herself he’s all right. Ya know what? Every action and word between them since they entered the auction has been like old times. Either the writers are crazily inconsistent and off their gourd or we’re about to get slammed in the gullet. Possibly both.
With the danger momentarily gone, Dyson, Bo and Hale look around for Cayden, who has pulled a Houdini. Panting, Dyson holds his bloody hand to his nose. “He’s bleeding,” he over explains. Wow, is his face intense in this moment. He sets off on Cayden’s trail, Bo close behind.
“Whoo,” Hale says as they pass him. “You OK?” Bo asks mid step as Dyson speeds up and starts loping ahead of her. “Ah, you know,” he shrugs. “Boys may have retreated. Permanently!” he calls after them. “Other than that, I’m fine.” He moseys over the The Worm. “Velma!”
Dyson exits through the same warehouse door Cayden and Bo went through earlier as Bo runs to catch up with him.
Flashback! Medieval Dyson is running through the forest shouting Stefan’s name. He’s running! He’s running! He comes down a slope, sword drawn, to find Stefan’s horse in a small clearing, Stefan lying nearby, bleeding and dying. Medieval Dyson runs to his side. “Ambush,” Stefan struggles to explain. There were too many. There always are. “Tell the king I tried.” Oh sweet boy.
Medieval Dyson insists that Stefan will tell the king himself. “Take care of Ciara,” Stefan grunts out and dies. “Nooooooo!!!!” Dyson bellows, predictably, and caps it off with a ferocious growl.
Dyson slowly leads Stefan’s horse, carrying the boy’s body, back to the pack. I noticed there’s a consistency issue with his arm tat, which has somehow now been completely filled in, but then the only reason I notice is because I’m totally gobsmacked by his arm porn. Holy hoping snot!
Cayden and the lads are waiting for him. They know what’s happened. Medieval Cayden: “He will receive a burial befit his bravery.” Medieval Dyson doesn’t really care at this point and goes to the heart of the matter. “Where is Ciara?” Medieval Cayden ducks his head before explaining that the king came for Ciara. “She’ll be made his queen in the morning,” he adds pointedly. Finally, Medieval Dyson is catching on. “The king sent Stefan to his death so he could claim Ciara for his own?” Yup. Pretty much. Now lemme tell you about this little story ‘bout a man named David who fell for a woman named Bathsheba…
Medieval Cayden confirms it and Medieval Dyson draws his sword. Immediately the Laignach Faelad close ranks in front of him. Medieval Cayden asks Medieval Dyson where he’s going. “To shed the king’s blood as he shed Stefan’s!” Medieval Dyson declares. Because telling the king’s guard you’re about to kill him is always good strategy. Medieval Cayden and the medieval lads all draw their swords. Dyson can’t believe they’re opposing him. “You would fight me on this!” he shouts.
Medieval Cayden spells it out for him. “We serve the king. And no one else.” Medieval Dyson: “I will no’ fight my brothers. But I can serve this king no more!” He stalks away from them down the hill and that’s the last he sees of Cayden until the man drops down on him in the cold open. In retrospect, that was a pretty warm welcome.
Back in present day, Dyson is loping across the lot toward an idling van, Bo bringing up the rear. Cayden is in the driver’s seat, holding a hand on his bleeding neck. “You should really get that looked at,” Dyson murmurs. “Yeah, you got me good there buddy,” Cayden chuckles. Bo peers in the window to check on Cayden for herself and Dyson asks if she can heal his (former) friend. “I can only breathe sexual chi into someone,” Bo reminds us all. “This is beyond me.”
Cayden tells him wearily that it’s too late, but Dyson pulls out his phone and says he’s going to get Cayden a doctor. Obviously, he’s calling Doctor Lauren. Cayden pins him with a charged look. “I’m not Stefan,” he reminds Dyson. “Saving me won’t bring him back.” I really can’t see how he got there, but OK.
Calmer now, Dyson apologizes for using his wolf on Cayden. “Hey. Alls far in war and war,” Cayden says with a snort. Dyson gives him a small, sad smile, so I think it’s an axiom they used to spout in the not so good ole days. “Isn’t that right,” he asks. Dyson: “You gettin’ all honorable on me, man?”
“Honor’s for the weak!” Cayden declares, sarcastically. “You were right,” he says more soberly, “all those years ago, to strike out on your own.”
Bo, who’s been watching the boys’ conversation quietly, exchanges glances with Dyson “No mate,” he tells Cayden with a gentle smile. “We’re wolves. We’re meant to travel in packs.” Cayden: “Nah. The solitary life works for you.” Dyson: “It just took me a while to find a new pack.” Bo looks up at him – yeah? Me? Dyson meets her eyes and gives her a small nod. Yeah. You. She smiles with a bit of a bite and a small eye roll. Yeah, all right.
Immediately, there’s a banging sound from the back of the van. Bo peers into the tinted window to no avail. Cayden breathes more heavily. “We almost got away,” he says. Dyson goes on alert. “We?! Who are you talking about?” Cayden: “She would’ve loved me. Eventually.”
Bo has gotten the back door of the van open now. “Dyson?! You’re gonna want to see this.” Dyson wrenches open the side door to reveal a bound and gagged Ciara kneeling in the van, a sandy-blond woman in a white dress. Of course she is. Shocked, Dyson calls her name and leaps into the van. “God, Ciara!” He takes off her gag, assuring her that it’s OK as Bo watches from the rear. “Dyson!” Ciara says, laughing, not even needing to wet her lips or take a drink after being gagged before she can speak without any trouble at all. Dyson reaches for her bounds, but can’t undo them, even though he can apparently rip the flesh from Cayden’s throat with one swipe.
“Bo, your knife!” he says. Bo sticks her leg into the frame by putting her foot up on the van and draws the knife from her boot sheath. She leans over to cut the ropes as Ciara and Dyson are too busy making googly eyes at one another to notice. “All these centuries,” Ciara says in a British accent. “I never thought to see you again.” Dyson explains that Cayden told him Ciara had killed herself after the king died.
The moment Bo frees Ciara, she throws her arms around Dyson who pulls her into a tight embrace. Yeah, I am not going to like this woman at all. I don’t care how noble and sweet and kind and good and blah blah blah she turns out to be.
Ciara pulls back and Bo is framed between Dyson and Ciara as the woman explains that at some point, Cayden decided he loved her, “and more, that I should love him back.” Oh, so this is one of those women that everyone is in love with because she’s so good and righteous and lovely? Gag.
Dyson asks in a low voice if Cayden hurt her, but Ciara insists that she’s fine. Bo doesn’t take her eyes off Dyson during this whole exchange. She’s never seen him behave like this toward a woman –well, a woman who wasn’t her.
Unconvinced, Dyson looks over at Cayden. Ciara puts her hand on his face and turns him back to her. “You saved me,” she says smiling. I’m thinking she’s being a little too familiar with the wolf given all the years since they’ve seen each other and the fact that he’s not exactly there alone.
Bo decides it’s time to remind them whose show this is after all. “I think technically, I saved you.” Why, because you opened the door first? They look at Bo oh, you’re here. “I mean, I found you. I mean, I’m Bo,” she finishes, offering her hand which Ciara shakes a little dazedly. Dyson’s brain is still half in the front seat wanting to kill/find Cayden. “Yes, Bo, this is –” He pauses, still stunned to find Ciara alive. “This is Ciara,” he intones, his voice cracking with emotion as though he’s introducing her to the Holy Grail.
Dyson scrambles for the front seat as the women take each other’s measure. Ciara clasps Bo hands, saying it’s a pleasure to meet her and thanking her for the rescue. Bo isn’t really interested in the niceties. “So you and Dyson go way back?” Ciara: “I trained his pack in the art of war.” Hang on, you trained a pack of wolf shifters how to fight but you couldn’t get yourself out of the back of a van or escape a forced marriage over the course of hundreds of years? Where do you teach, community college?
Bo asks if Ciara is a shifter, but she denies it and asks if Bo would cut the ropes on her feet. Dyson steps to the front of the van, but Cayden is gone.
Ciara tells Bo that her father was fairy and her mother was Scuffolk. We have a county like that in Jersey. “She passed her warrior training onto me,” Ciara explains, which would mean a whole lot more to us if someone had bothered expositioning what the hell a Scuffolk is. And what happened to the “it’s rude to ask what type of fae a person is as it reveals all their weaknesses” axiom? Or are we just throwing everything out the window in order to shoehorn a new love interest for Dyson into this quagmire?
“I’m a succubus,” Bo tells her baldly. Subtext: Dyson is mine! Though that may be me projecting again. “Oh,” Ciara says, politely
Dyson comes back to the doorway. “He’s gone,” he tells the women. Ciara says to let Cayden go that a life of war has changed Cayden, made him hard.”If nothing else, he brought us back into each other’s lives again,” she says, smiling at the wolf. Dyson’s face is a rare picture of joy as he processes this, and his smile blooms and grows as it all begins to sink in. Oh, I adore happy, smiling Dyson. Good Lord, that man is intoxicating. Why does he have to be that way with this woman?!
“Yes,” he says, broad smile in place. “Yes, he did do that.” He climbs back into the van and they embrace again. As they pull back, Bo is once more frame between them downright dumbfounded her face a picture of confusion and distress and more than a little you have got to be kidding me! Dyson and Ciara are oblivious as they silly grin at one another.
Look, I geddit. This is Dyson’s first crush and it’s totally wrapped up in a wealth of feelings for Stefan, for his past, for when he was last part of a wolf pack, for Cayden and his betrayal and “death”. I geddit. But lost or not, he gave his love to Bo, he mated with Bo, and you don’t get a do-over with that stuff. Anything between him and Ciara is nostalgia driven and doomed. But in the meantime, until they figure that out, it sucks balls.
At The Ash’s compound, Bo pulls a pen away from Velma with the irritated whine of a parent who has told their child a hundred times not to play with the expensive pen. “Velma, please!” she says, slamming the pen back down on the table with a thunk. “As I was saying,” Bo continues her voice full of irritation. “Velma is a sweet old Death Worm who just needs a home.”
Lachlan: “And you had your doubts about our sweet little consulting arrangement. Now look at us, you and me, consulting together.” Two minions wheel in a standing piece of art and Lachlan directs them where to put it. Guess he wasn’t kidding about redecorating. Most notably, on the dais behind him, the stone throne has been replaced with a modern executive’s desk complete with computer.
Bo tells him she did do this because of any arrangement but Lachlan orders her to send him the invoice anyway. “As for the worm, I’ll take care of it.”
“Her,” Bo says pointedly. Lachlan eyes her, unsure if she’s back talking him or serious. He steps up into her space “Pardon?” Bo: “Her. She’s a – well, she’s alive anyway,” she says with a look at Velma. “She deserves kindness and respect like all living things.” I get the feeling she’s not talking about Velma anymore. Velma to her TV: “Ha! Ah you fell, you’re wet.” So she’s watching Wipeout?! Hee.
Lachlan studies Velma for a moment, then muses that it’s an interesting idea, being kind to the things. “But if I do extend kindness and respect, what do I get back in return?” Bo, quietly, but without commitment. “You will make her friends very happy.”
Lachaln raises a brow at her. “Are you her friend?” Bo firmly says yes because this is what she does, she takes the people no one can be bothered with – like Kenzi – and makes them hers, extending her protection. Lachlan: “Well, if it’s going to make you very happy, Bo, I will do my best to take good care of her,” he finishes with emphasis. Gotta admit, dude can be charming when he wants to be.
Bo is stunned into silence by his capitulation and a bit by his charm, I think. She might be a little turned on. “I think the words that you’re looking for are ‘thank you’” Lachlan snarks gently.
“Yeah,” Bo says, a little surprised to admit it. “Thanks.” She goes to says goodbye to Velma, but when Velma complains “I hate commercials!” without as much as acknowledging Bo, she wearily turns to leave without speaking.
“By the way,” Lachlan calls to her, “how’s Lauren?” He catches her a little off guard, but Bo rallies quickly saying she doesn’t know as she hasn’t spoken to the doc in days. They both know she’s lying, but Lachlan allows it for now. He just wants Bo and Doctor Lauren to know that he knows exactly what’s going on and that the doc remains free at his discretion, which he is exerting on Bo’s behalf. More to come there, I think.
“Come on, dear,” he says to Velma, holding out his hand, his eyes still locked with Bo’s. “Let’s get you settled.” Velma grabs her TV and walks toward him. “Leave the pen,” he orders. Hee. “Bye dear!” Velma chirps to Bo, sweet old lady style. Bo smiles in farewell, her mind still picking apart the encounter with Lachlan.
At Dyson’s loft, the wolf is carrying a sleeping bag over to where Ciara is perched on his bed. “I’m not taking your bed,” Ciara insists. “The floor’s fine for me.” Right, like she intends to sleep there. Dyson: “I’m not going to let you sleep on the floor,” which is obvious to anyone who’s known him for five seconds much less five hundred years. Also, she’s the widow of a billionaire, she get her own damn hotel room?! She points out with exasperation that they used to sleep in the dirt. “Only out of necessity,” Dyson says. Also? It was hundreds of years ago! I’m betting you’ve long since grown used to 300 count or more sheets, lady.
“Come on,” Dyson says, pulling her to her feet. “Let me take care of you the way you used to take care of us.” Getting her a hotel room is an excellent way of doing that, Dyson!
“All those years ago,” she says softly. “So much has changed.” Like the death of his friend, her mate, and the death of her husband, his king. Nothing stands between them anymore if that’s what he wants. Dyson takes her meaning and caresses her arm. “Here we are,” she says with meaning and they kiss, gently. “I think I always wanted to do that,” she admits. You and pretty much any heterosexual woman with a pulse, sweetie.
I call shenanigans on this whole thing. They haven’t seen one another for hundreds of years. She’s newly widowed from a forced marriage, yes, but it looks like she made the best of the situation. Plus, she just got kidnapped and rustled by a man who was supposed to protect her. First thing she does is throw herself at Dyson? I mean, I can’t fault the urge, but I really don’t think it tracks. There wasn’t even enough flashback time for us to see why she is so loveable, much like we had no time to form an investment in Stefan and Dyson’s relationship to understand why his death was so devastating for our wolf. When the Norn took Dyson’s love, we’d had 13 season one episodes of Bo and Dyson together in one way or another to fully understand the agony of this event. Here, we might have had five minutes. It’s a rush job and it doesn’t help the situation.
Conflicted, Dyson kisses her forehead and whispers her name. “I can’t,” he tells her, not without regret. But it’s unclear if this is because of his guilt for Stefan or because of his situation with Bo. Both are valid
“You can’t betray a ghost, Dyson,” she tells him. So we’re going with the Stefan conflict then. Got it. She’s caresses his face and says good night, taking the bed after all. Dyson stares at her, caught up in so many emotions, I cannot do it all justice, but I feel for the guy. He’s getting a real beat down in the heart department this episode. I think he suddenly gets the idea that here, with her he might be able to find love again. “Ciara?” he murmurs. She turns to him as he comes to her side and takes Ciara into his arms, kissing her passionately and down they go.
At Hilton Hovel (drink!), Kenzi is having a cupcake orgasm on the couch. “Oh! Oh! Oh God, these are so good!” From the kitchen, a robed Doctor Lauren tells Kenzi that she can make more. Kenzi: “More?!” Doctor Lauren: “Uh, yeah.” Kenzi: “More’s good.”
Bo comes in and bed linens down on the couch right at Kenzi’s head. Kenzi: “Bo! Buddy. Platonic love of my life.” She stands and grabs Bo by the arms. Kenzi: “Lauren’s not staying is she?” only she asks this in pig Latin. “Because she’s already messed up the kitchen and I don’t want her messing up the couch too.” This from a woman who lives off of take out.
Bo promises Doctor Lauren won’t be messing up the couch because she’ll be sleeping there while the doc takes her bed. I am digging the responsibility sexuality here. They both want to jump one another’s bones, but they know now is not the time to complicate matters with sex and so are being really adult about it all. I like when shows depict smart sexual choices, not just who but when and why as well.
Doctor Lauren, naturally, objects to this plan. Kenzi’s face is all oh please. “I couldn’t put you out,” the doc says. Kenzi: “And on that ‘oh-plu-eze!’ factor of ten – I’m out.” Bo is bent over making up the couch and Kenzi smacks her ass companionably as she exits. “Good night!” she calls out. Exeunt Kenzi. I guess she really does have her own bedroom after all.
“I will take the couch,” Doctor Lauren insists. Bo looks at her for a moment. “You’ve just been through a lot with The Ash.” She knows the doc has taken a medical oath to look after people but, “You need to let someone take care of you for once.” This is a nice parallel to Dyson telling Ciara that he wants to care for her the way she cared for his pack that we never saw any real example of that other than her binding a few wounds, but whatever.
Doctor Lauren is quite touched by this offer. She been the chattel of The Ash for what, five years now? I wonder how long it’s been since someone offered her solace and safety. No wonder she fell for Bo so fast.
Bo gently says goodnight, indicating that he doc should go on up to bed rather than jump on top of Bo. See? Responsible (if difficult) sexual choices. “Right,” Doctor Lauren agrees. “Goodnight.” Slowly she slides past Bo, brushing her with her body, and Bo smiles as the doc, in a rare show of stubbornness, begins to settle herself on the couch. Bo laughs, and pats Doctor Lauren on the back as she gives up the argument and goes upstairs to bed. Doctor Lauren stares after her, longingly.
New Fae Terms:
Laignach Faelad: A pack of wolf shifters, mercenary warriors who swore allegiance to the king of Ailech. Feared warriors, they cut a swath through undefined Medieval Celtic lands.
The Mongolian Death Worm: n. a rare creature of enormous deadly power. Currently, it resides in the form of a senile old lady named Velma. It is undetermined whether this is its true form, though that is unlikely. It is capable of creating energy beams that can vaporize anything, which in this form, manifest as frickin’ laser beams shot from Velma’s eyes. The Death Worm is likely an UnderFae in its true form.
Origin: Thought to originate in the Gobi Desert, but reports of sightings have not been confirmed.
Keukegan: n. A destructive weapon that looks like a fuzzy Koosh ball. Without a gas mask, the Keukegan will kill you in seconds once released from its glass jar.
Quotes of the night:
Kenzi: This just in: You’re a policeman who’s also his own police dog!
Kenzi: It is a riddle, cloaked in a mystery, wrapped in layers of hot, hot manliness.
Kenzi: What happens in the pack stays in the pack.
Medieval Dyson: Get a hayloft!
Bo: “I’m going to give The Ash a piece of my mind and then possibly a piece of my fist!
Cayden: I hate to see a good banging go to waste.
Kenzi: There’s a fae black market? Somebody has got to get me a Cherry Coke!
Cumberbatch: Oh fae power plushies are so 2007.
Cumberbatch: I got it in a surprise bag of weapons I bought and you never know what you’re gonna get with one of those.
Bo: Cayden? Be a dear and knock the business outta this jackhole!
Cayden: I’m a big bad wolf. You can round all my bases.
Kenzi: Wow. She just totally took all the fun outta yummy.
Hale: What am I, the TV Whisperer?!”
Dyson: We’re wolves. We’re meant to travel in packs. It just took me a while to find a new pack.
Next Week: Vex! Vex is back! Episode 6: It’s Better to Burn Out Than to Fae Away
Kiersten Hallie Krum writes smart, sharp & sexy romantic suspense. Find her snarking her way across social media as @kierstenkrum and on her web site and blog at www.kierstenkrum.com.