What Have You Learned From Fifty (50) Shades of Grey and Other Erotic Books?

I've read a few books recently where apparently men like being held and touched a lot more firmly than the heroine might believe, harder than she would ever dare touch him.
Not sure if this is so in real life, I haven't asked (should make for an interesting convo).

I'm more into experimenting by myself, rather than following any book's lead. And I've a kinky enough imagination to have tried many things before even starting reading frisky books.... I'm really not sure erotica has improved or changed my sexlife _ except that I found reading kinky books with you partner can be quite fun from time to time ;-)

I suppose you could say I use erotic books for the "safe" experience of the wilder aspects of sex. Oh, mind you, I'm no prude. I'm just not into pain, either giving or recieving, in real life. Apparently, I have no tolerance for the stuff. But I do enjoy the almost voyeristic "experience" that I get in the erotic novel, introductions into facets of love making that cross my personal boundries but that I find erotic all the same.

I haven't read anything that I haven't fantasized or performed already. Some of that stuff is better left on the page and in dreams than in the bedroom.

I loved these books. I was lucky enough to have them on my Ipod. I'm on my 3rd time listening to them and hope I can finally go on to something new when I'm done this time. I learned that we are all broken in some way. Christen's brokeness is easy to identify. But, some of the things that drive me crazy about my husband comes from childhood truama. i.e he is super tight on money. Like Christen on food. My husbands money habits have put us in a great finanical position. I look at my husband so much differently now. He is kinda of a broken boy too. I'm sorry that there is SO much sex in this book it really takes away from the true story. Which is unconditional love. Annas ability to love enough for both of them. That is what I'm doing for my husband now.

I have not and will not read the 50 Shades books.
But I have read Romance eroticia and love it, what I have learned from it is; that other people love to do the kinky things that me and my husband love to do.
I find it sad that people have to have their wishes valadated by everyone else bsfore they do them. If you wnat to try something, then go for it. What goes on between your and your lover is not any ones business.