Can’t get enough of SyFy’s new show Lost Girl? Neither can we, so we’ve begun a weekly recap. Don’t miss any of Kiersten Krum’s episode reviews: episode 4, episode 5, episode 6, episode 7, episode 8, and episode 9.
And now, on to the recap of episode 10, “The Mourning After”...
Our opening shot is of the bottom half of a table festooned with a smorgasbord of makeup products and as the camera pans up to the table, makeup gives way to a buffet of daggers, swords, lances, and some other medieval blade weapons I’m not sure I could identify without a host of Wikipedia listings. We see that Bo’s weapon trunks opened and empty and nearby, a tattered mannequin bust tattooed with a graffiti heart with the word “Love” at the center. Immediately, one of those shiny, shiny daggers comes flying through the air to puncture the heart.
Bo: “Hey, hand me the nine inch.” Kenzi and Bo are on the couch at Hilton Hovel drinking wine and polishing Bo’s weapons because sharp, shiny swords and wine are the perfect combo. Just ask the Italian Renaissance.
“Pass me the pinot,” Bo says. “Oh, and the machete.” As she passes over the wine, Kenzi wonders if Bo sees anything wrong with the picture of two incredibly hot, sexy girls sitting at home on a Friday night waxing their weapons. Bo: “Nope. But something about that sentence makes me horny.” Kenzi: “Me too.”
“Wouldn’t you rather be waxing Mister Dyson’s sword tonight?” Kenzi asks. YES. Bo expositions that Dyson is working late and that they’re kinda in limbo for the moment, taking things slow for once. She picks up her wine glass and walks over to her throwing spot. “I mean, we’re great together and everything, but we’re also a lot of work.” WE KNOW.
“Give me the six inch,” she orders. Kenzi: “Honey, if I could give you the six inch, all our problems would be solved.” Kenzi thinks they need to get out more and aims her throwing star at the mannequin bust. Bo insists she puts herself out there. “It’s not like I haven’t tried. Men, women, humans, fae. At one time with a goat.” Startled, Kenzi throws the star into the picture on the wall. “I’m kidding,” Bo adds.
Point is Bo is tired of making the effort. If fate wants her to find love, it knows where she lives. “Let’s face it, Kenzi. The dating scene is killer.”
The scene changes to a couple saying goodnight outside a club in a downtown alley. The man says he’s really glad he met the woman and had a great time. She agrees. He kisses her gently and leaves, a real gentleman, so we know he’s actually a Player. He doesn’t get five steps before she calls him back, asking him to come with her for a drink. With his back turned to her he smiles knowingly because he’s a tool and they go off for some nookie. I have to say, the guys in the editing bin do an incredible job with the sex scenes in this show. Lots of bare female torsos with only the slightest hint of the boobalege. In the morning, she wakes up alone (surprise!) draws herself a bath, writes “whore” and “slut” all over the panes of the bathroom window, and then turns on the hair dryer and electrocutes herself.
Hale (Hello! Hale! Where you at?) and Dyson amble into the woman’s living room, Hale explaining that the door was locked from the inside. Dyson muses that he doesn’t see any signs of foul play but it sure is a hell of a suicide note. We see the crime scene guys photographing the free verse window suicide note as a woman’s voiceover insists “no way was it a suicide.”
Bo and Kenzi are interviewing the victim’s sister over coffee. Her name, IMDB tells me, is Collette. Seriously, this show needs to get better at identifying people sooner. I mean, the entire first episode didn’t even mention Dyson’s name leaving me to call him Not Chris Martin until episode 2 aired. Collette insists that there’s no way her sister committed suicide much less wrote all that stuff on the wall. “She was a strong person,” Collette insists. She tells Bo and Kenzi that her sister Alison told her she’d met a great guy and was really hopeful just the night before. The cops have already ruled it a suicide and Bo is Collette’s only hope. “I need you to help me prove them wrong.”
At the cop shop, Dyson says they’re wasting their time, he worked the case himself and it’s pretty clean. Bo wonders if he’s sure and he shows her the picture of the hair dryer. “Had to pry it from her hands post mortem. She cracked the shaft with her muscle spasms.” Kenzi: “Huh. Shaft.” Dyson gives her a fast, hilarious, “seriously?” look and explains, “Which means it didn’t just fall in the water, she held it under.”
Bo argues that they both know there are people who could have held it under for her and survive and everyone knows she’s talking about Vex. Dyson: “Theoretically, yes, it could have been a fae kill, you’re right. Bo: “Say that last part again,” and Dyson laughs, and they’re adorable. Unfortunately, since it’s been ruled a suicide, Dyson can’t do anything more with police resources without raising flags. Best he can do is pass his stuff over to the fae labs. Dyson says, “That means you have to talk to Lauren,” not without sympathy. Bo sighs heavily and turns to Kenzi, “Come with me?” but Kenzi is already shaking her head. “No. No. That is just way too awkward without beer.” So many things are. “You’re on your own, sista!” Kenzi adds with an encouraging pat to Bo’s ass. “Great,” Bo sneers.
In the lab, Doctor Lauren and Bo face off across a wide, metaphorical space. Doctor Lauren wonders how Bo’s been since she hasn’t been returning Doctor Lauren’s calls. Bo snits that she’s fine and wonders if they could just talk about the suicide file Doctor Lauren is holding. Doctor Lauren says initial analysis says that the victim wrote the graffiti herself. Bo wonders about fae involvement and Doctor Lauren admits it’s possible but she doesn’t recognize the killing signature, though there are dozens of fae associated with anxiety, depression, and despair. And they wonder why people balk at membership.
All Doctor Lauren can say is that the victim died from a heart attack due to being electrocuted. Also she had consensual sex before she died. Bo snarks she’s not so sure she trusts Doctor Lauren when it comes to sexual matters. “Let’s say hypothetically that one party thought the connection was real and then found out that the other party was just manipulating them into bed to impress their controlling asshead of a boss.” Doctor Lauren: “Bo, do you really think we weren’t headed that way on our own anyway?” Bo: “I think you ruined any chance of us finding out. And I think that’s really shitty.” She ignores Doctor Lauren’s pleas to be allowed to explain tossing over her shoulder that Kenzi is waiting and she has to go.
At The Dal (which should be a meme on my laptop) Kenzi sidles up to the bar where Trick is polishing–things–with agitation. “Hit me with some hootch, T-bag,” she says. Trick gives her A Look. “T-dog.” Trick glares some more. Kenzi affects a Cockney accent. “Please sir may I have some beverage?” Annoyed, Trick shoves a bottle and a shot glass across the bar and tells her to help herself. Kenzi squeals, “Oh my God, it’s like Christmas!” Honey, I know exactly what you mean.
As she downs her shot, a voice calls out “Fitzpatrick MacCorieghan of Clan Fin Arvin,” and a hearty huzzah! to my closed captions that make the spelling of that name possible. A look of horror comes over Trick’s face as Kenzi turns around to see a stranger who is also a dwarf and looks mighty smug. “Uh oh,” she whispers to Trick. “Trouble in the shire?”
Newcomer informs Trick that this is his 24-hour warning while Kenzi chortles over Trick’s full name. At midnight tomorrow, the stranger retains possession of the coin. Trick tells him with tight fury that he is aware of the day and calls the stranger Valentine. Valentine offers to take the item from Trick now, and reaches for the small wooden box sitting on the bar. Trick grabs the box “Unless you’d like to lose your hand, I suggest you step back until invited.” Valentine says that’s fair and he’ll see Trick at midnight then warns that Trick knows the consequences should he not show up.
“What the fae was that?” Kenzi asks excitedly, pouring another shot. Trick tells her to mind her own business. “There is some freaky shit going on,” Kenzi observes as Bo thumps down next to her at the bar. “Two words. Lauren. Kiss-my-ass.” She slugs back Kenzi’s neglected shot. “Lot of hyphens in that last one.” Snort!! I love this especially because, as an editor, I am hyphen impaired, always putting them in where they shouldn’t be and taking them out from where they should. Yes, I know there are set rules. No, I can’t be bothered to actually remember them. I am a damn good editor, why do you ask?
Bo pulls Kenzi from the bar, but she resists, “No, I want to ask Trick something.” Bo says they’re already late to meet Collette. Alison had sex before she died and Bo wants to know with whom. She drags a protesting Kenzi away. “Little guy…big mouth…must…know!”
They meet Collette at the apartment and Bo wonders if Alison ever told her sister anything more about the “great guy” she met the night she died. Collette says no, and decides to go as it’s too hard to talk about her sister in the past tense. Collette gives Bo Alison’s keys and asks her to lock up. Kenzi comes downstairs Bo asks what she found. “Just a fancy gitch collection. I’d say milady was single and ready to crotch mingle.” And Lost Girl just became the first show in a very long time to make me have to actually look up slang. Bo: “Oh Kenzi, you have the soul of a poet.”
Bo is checking out Alison’s book shelves, a tried and true way of learning the truth about someone. She decides Alison was more sentimental with books called The Gigantic Romantic and Don’t Let Love Go or Love Will Let Go of You. “Actually, I bought this one too.” I love that the hot succubus is buying self help books on love. Layers, people. Lots of juicy layers to this woman. Most of them made with eyeliner.
Bo decides this is something she and Alison have in common “Looking for love in all the wrong places. Looking for love in too many faces. Searching your eyes, looking for traces of what... I’m dreaming of...” OK, so Bo only said the first line, but you know you totally went there too! Also, the only wrong place she’s looking for love is Doctor Lauren’s lab. Kenzi: “Is that your way of saying anal?”
Bo finds a matchbook from a local bar called Crimson and Kenzi says Alison has credit charges from Crimson for the last three Fridays.
They enter Crimson where the soused and the desperate are bumping and grinding to a club beat. Kenzi: “Set phasers to douche. There is way too much gel and chest wax in this place.” Exhibit A pops up in front of them and takes their picture, handing over a business card and a smarmy compliment. I picture Dyson in this bar and start laughing.
Bo: “Now you can actually go online and look at photos of yourself having fun while you’re still having it.” Isn’t that the whole purpose of Twitter? Kenzi: “Everybody wants to be famous. It’s the new world order.” They notice a sign for a City Singles private event, which handily happens every Friday. As they head for the event, a tall, dark-haired woman sidles into the bar behind them and watches as they go past the rope line.
A debonair, impeccably-dressed black man greets them as they approach the desk. “If you could just take your name tags over here, we’ll get started in a jiffy.” Ugh, name tags. Hate ‘em. Though if there’s peanut butter at this event, I could come around yet. “Tonight’s sharing topic is well, ‘my favorite memory, my biggest regret,’” IDBM continues. “In two minute rounds or less.”
It’s a speed dating theme night. Kenzi, on her way out the door: “Oh, hell no!” Bo pulls her back. She figures if they question these guys a minute at a time, they can be out of there in 15 minutes.
Commence what may be some of the funniest snippets in the show’s history to date. We flash through Bo and Kenzi’s one-minute speed dates which culminate when the bell dings.
Bo, laughing and twirling her hair: “Yeah, that was my definite favorite memory of all time. Minus the rug burn.” She then feeds her “date” a line about Alison and, pulling out a head shot, wonders if he’s met her. Ding!
Kenzi, wearing a name tag that says “Astra”: “Oh, my favorite literary quote about regret. Wow. Fun! Um, well, I think it was the great poet Ludacris who said, ‘Regret is for suckaz, for suckaz, for suckaz. Regret is for suckaz. Bitch.” Ding!
Bo: “My biggest regret? Probably losing touch with my best friend, Alison.” She puts some succubus juice into her touch. “You, um, wouldn’t happen to recognize her, would you?” Ding!
Kenzi, in a Russian accent, nametag “Svetlana”: “What happy memories? Those were hard times. So cold.” She slips the watch of the guy’s hand. “That is why I am here. If I could maybe get loan from nice person. Send chicken back to Mama!” DYING. Ding!
Bo, still with putting the juice on the same guy: “Well, what if I give you my number? You can be a sweet boy and ask around for me.” Ding.
A woman sits across from Bo and it’s the same woman who was watching her earlier. “Wow,” Bo says. “Didn’t know this was girl on girl too.” Before she can do anything else, the woman grabs Bo by the lapel and gives her a full-on succubus kiss, complete with energy transfer. Framed between them, holding a full martini glass, Kenzi is frozen in place, gob smacked. Bo is equally stunned as the stranger demands, her eyes bugging out, “Okay gorgeous. You got about 10 seconds to tell me why you’re hunting on my turf.” Kenzi: “Burrgina!”
The stranger bursts out of the club into the alley, Bo hot on her heels demanding to talk to her. The stranger says she’s new in town and not really up for a turf war. “So if this is your place, it was just plain rude of you not to mark your territory.” Kenzi, disgusted: “What, like pee on it?!” Hysterically, the stranger gives Kenzi an incredible look that’s a mixture of WTF and “are you for real?!”
Bo, typically, bulldozes right over that. “I don’t know how to mark things. I don’t know anything. You’re the only other succubus I’ve ever met.” The stranger wonders how that’s possible. “Long story. Can I buy you a beer and tell you about it?”
Back in the club, the stranger snots that this is a boring town and they need to find a sexier place. Oh, she’s just gonna love The Dal. “We’re big in Berlin. You should come with me sometime, I’ll introduce you around.” She’s like the Kim Kardashian of succubae or KKS. Bo is off-the-charts giddy at the mere idea of hanging with the cool succubae in Berlin “Yeah, I would love that!” Kenzi, bless her, smiles at her friend’s good fortune, knowing what it all means to Bo, and keeps her mouth shut. Bo wonders what the stranger (STILL no first name, show?!) is doing in town. “Oh, I usually travel around a bit. Set up a few regulars, a few sugar daddies in every port and all that. And then I just move around have fun with it.” I am getting such and Alti/Xena vibe off this woman. If she starts preaching that “destroyer of nations” crap, I’m gonna spit.
Bo giggles a little, enamored of her sophisticated new friend. “Traveling courtesan, huh, that’s your business?” KKS: “And business is naughty, thank God.” I really should like her more for that one. “So what’s your line of business? Call girl? Stripper? Wife?”
Kenzi proudly informs her that Bo is a private investigator. Bo explains, uncomfortably, that she rents out her persuasion services to people who need help. KKS: “You work?!” She laughs at this and Bo hides her embarrassment by taking a drink of wine. I heartily approve. Of the wine. “Oh honey,” KKS scolds. “Succubae don’t work! I have so much to teach you!” and Bo giggles at the mere idea. I feel for our girl. What a heady feeling, to finally find someone who can help her make sense of who she is, who knows what it’s like to be a succubus. Too bad she’s bat crap crazy. I mean, look at those eyes!
Kenzi interrupts lamely – “wow, look at the time!” – and tries to hustle Bo out of there, but Bo decides she’s going to stay and pick KKS’s brain. She asks if Kenzi is OK with taking the car. “Super cool!” Kenzi says, and everyone except Bo knows that she really, really isn’t happy about leaving Bo there with KKS.
At the Dal, Kenzi pouts: “So not cool!” Trick, lighting candles nearby, mumbles distractedly, “what?” Kenzi wonders if he’s even listening to her. Trick: “No Kenzi. Shocking news from Galileo. You’re not actually the center of the universe!” Oh, I like snarky Trick!
Kenzi snarks that next person that wants to crap on her can find her at home. Trick apologizes sincerely, and explains that he’s under a lot of pressure right now, though that’s no excuse. He adds that he could really use her help, actually. Kenzi wonders if she should go get Bo, but Trick insists that no, he actually does need only her. Kenzi: “Do tell.”
Down in Trick’s inner sanctum, he pulls out his Great Book of Wonders and shows Kenzi a picture of a coin. “It’s called the Coin of Jahayla it brings luck in business to its bearer.” Trick and Valentine found it together a long time ago, emphasis on long. Kenzi wonders if they made some kind of coin time-share deal. Basically, yes, and since cutting coin in half would destroy essence, Trick and Valentine alter possession every hundred years and it’s Trick’s turn to return it. Trick locked it up in a safe place, but when he went back to get it to retrieve it, it was gone from the box. This is where Kenzi comes in. Trick knows a ceremony to track the coin, but it requires a human female to complete it. Kenzi: “Is this some kind of sex thing or like some kind of virgin sacrifice? Cause I don’t think I can help you with that one.” Tricks insists he’s not sacrificing anyone (and, as we now know he’s the Blood King, sacrifice has a whole new meaning now, don’t it?). He just needs the help of a certain fae to find the coin, but the fae will only speak with human woman. Kenzi agrees to help out and they arrange to meet back in the inner sanctum tomorrow. Trick, shaking his head, scoffs as he departs, “Virgin sacrifice.” Kenzi: “Right, cause that’s never happened with you people.”
Bo is questioning KKS about Alison, but while KKS recognizes her, she didn’t talk to her. Bo wonders if she saw anyone suspicious. “Sorry, fae-dar isn’t really a succubus gift.” I really don’t want to like this woman. She’s willing to help Bo find out if the murderer is fae. Bo is grateful, but wonders why she would want to put herself out for a couple of dead humans. KKS (STILL no name, show? Really?!) explains that if someone is hunting on her turf, she wants to know about it. “Besides, I want to see you in action, Nancy Drew.” And the sooner she helps Bo solve the case, the sooner she can teach Bo how to cut loose. Bo looks intrigued and delighted by this plan.
As KKS looks on from the back, Bo interviews the IDBM, who nametag I now see reads Bertram. This makes me wonder if KKS had a nametag when she first sat down, and I go back and discover that yes, she did and her name is Saskia. Sneaky move, producers. Guess they expect us to pay (better) attention and I gotta admit, I kinda love them for that.
Bertram is aghast that so lovely and poised a woman as Alison killed herself. Bo explains that is why Collette hired her, to find out if anything else was involved. He offers to help in any way. Bo: “Were there any strange men at these events?” It’s speed dating, honey; it’s built for strange men. “Any complaints?” she asks. Bertram explains their screening process and that Alison was a star client who made the men feel welcomed and the last few sessions, every man she met checked off her “would like to see her again” box. I bet they did. He insists that Alison hadn’t checked any boxes the last two nights. Bo asks to see a list of the men Alison met with and when Bertram insists he has to check with the home office first, she turns on the persuasion and gets him to hand the lists over.
Saskia: “Not bad for a rookie,” and Bo glows with pleasure.
At this point, my notes simply say DYSON.
A phone rings in the cop shop and Dyson answers his cell as he comes around the corner into the hall. It’s Bo, natch. He invites her for a drink and Bo declines, saying she’s had enough of bars for one night. We switch to Hilton Hovel where Bo is running around getting wine glasses and a bottle ready. She tells Dyson that she has a list of names of possible leads and wonders if he can follow some up for her. “Yeah, I think I can manage that,” he drawls with a wide smile and I have to pause typing until my heartbeat goes back to a normal rhythm. He asks after her evening and she pauses as Saskia gingerly walks into Hilton Hovel and then tells him it was very surprising. They are adorable and so bloody normal my chest hurts from it all. Dyson inviting her for a drink and asking about her day, Bo giving him names she obtained illegally and through the use of her super sex powers so that Dyson can use government resources to do her research for her. They’re almost turning into Ozzie and Harriet before our eyes.
Saskia mocks Hilton Hovel. “You don’t actually live like this? A succubus? What, is your box broken?" I REALLY don’t want to like this woman! Also, don’t knock Hilton Hovel, bitch. Bo tells her to shut up and come have some wine. There’s our girl! I was beginning to worry. Saskia asks who was on the phone and when Bo admits it was her “cop friend” Saskia beats an immediate retreat. Bo assures her that Dyson is cool and light fae. Saskia says that’s even worse and she thought that Bo was neutral, who is quick to assure her new friend that that is true. Saskia: “Well I’m dark fae, so if we’re going to be cool, keep the light out of my business.” Bo agrees, and Saskia tells her to ask anything she wants to know.
Cue the succubus Yoda session. Bo is amazed to consider that her mother may have been a succubus. Saskia says it could also be that her father was an incubus. “Fae genetics get pretty complicated.” You ain’t kidding. Saskia posits that one or both of Bo’s parents are probably sex chi eaters, but even then there’s a bunch of variety and she rattles off a few possible breeds. Bo asks her to slow down while she grabs her notepad and Saskia chuckles patronizingly. “Oh my God, you’re adorable. You know what, forget the notes, okay? I’m not going anywhere.” She promises to teach Bo all this stuff and Bo is frighteningly grateful. “I’ve been feeling lost for a really long time.” Aw, poor Bo.
Of course, this is when Kenzi arrives home, looking utterly delighted to find Saskia at Hilton Hovel. “So if you guys do it, will you like cancel each other out or create a black hole or something?” Saskia admits that she’s actually not attracted to her own kind and with a pointed look at Kenzi, says, “I’m more of a novelty whore.” I really don’t want to like this woman!
Saskia says that she should be going and confirms as she leaves that she’ll see Bo at Collette’s tomorrow. Bo gives Kenzi the patented “what the hell was that” look and gesture, which Kenzi returns. Kenzi wonders why Bo is talking to Saskia about the case when, hello, she could be a suspect. Bo: “I actually thought of that, Sherlock.” Wait, Cumberbatch is here?! Bo asserts that she knows a succubus kill when she sees one Alison didn’t die that way. “Also, she had hetero sex that night. Saskia isn’t exactly a dangler.” FINALLY we get a name! Kenzi: “Well, I wouldn’t be so sure.” I love this girl SO MUCH.
Kenzi snits that Bo is just hanging out with Saskia because of the “succubus contact high”. Bo wonders if that’s so bad. “She’s the only one of my kind that I have ever met.” She wants to see where it goes, but if Kenzi wants her to keep her distance...” which is exactly the right offer to make your best friend. Kenzi proves it when she gives the correct best friend response: “Don’t be stupid. It’s fine. I just worry about my girl.” So say we all, kiddo. Bo: “That is why I love you so much.” Bo says she’s hitting the hay because she and Saskia are going to talk to Collette in the morning and Kenzi scoffs as she leaves. Way to diss your best friend to her face Bo.
I love this wrinkle in their friendship. Who has had a best friend who got enamored with a new flavor and blithely filled your spot in her life with them? Sure, it all eventually works out when the new flavor eventually sours, but in the meantime, it sucks the big one, baby. Nice to see real life friendship woes in our supernatural world.
It’s the deep dark of night at Collette’s apartment, so of course this is when she opens her door to – we don’t know but whoever it is, Collette starts screaming at the sight of him/her.
At the cop shop, Dyson is explaining that all the speed daters came up clean. Frustrated, Bo insists that she knows it sounds crazy but she really thinks there’s more to the case. Dyson: “Fortunately I’ve grown to trust your instincts.” I’m distracted by the realization that KHR’s recent interview comment was spot on: Dyson really does need a haircut. I’m not complaining, mind you. It’s always good to have enough hair to grab on to.
Dyson dug deeper and found that in the past five years, a dozen single women have committed suicide, all leaving that signature graffiti. Definitely a pattern. He can’t do anything more officially, but “if you need my help, I’m there. “ Sigh. He offers to go with her but she hedges that she can handle this one on her own. Interesting that she doesn’t want Dyson near Saskia. I know, I know, it’s dark fae versus light, but I think Bo is happy not to share her new flavor.
He asks if she’s OK, and mentions that she seems a little different today. She puts her hands on his shoulders and says it’s just a monster hangover. Dyson: “You need me, you call.” Bo: “I always do.” He smiles again at her, and it’s incredibly sweet, really, warming the cockles of my – well, let’s just leave it at cockles.
Bo lets herself into Collette’s apartment calling for Collette as Saskia bitches about losing her beauty sleep. Collette is lying dead on the ground in front of the bookcase. The words dirty and slut and whore are written everywhere, on the walls, on the lampshade. Saskia demands to know about the graffiti: “Did her sister do this too?” Bo says yeah and Saskia immediately demands that they get out of here. Bo wonders who did it and Saskia says it’s an Albastor. “Move!”
Trick is gathering the ingredients they need to summon the fae that will help him find his coin. “And remember. Don’t look in her eyes for too long. Lightening birds hate that.” Kenzi wonders why they need this chick again (heh) and Trick explains that witch doctors swear by their eggs for finding lost or stolen goods and they’re going to use these items to summon her lightening, which is how she travels. He wants Kenzi to talk the lightening bird out of one of her eggs if she can. Trick would do it himself, but lightening birds cannot be seen by any other fae.
Kenzi wonders why Trick can’t explain to Val that the coin is simply missing. “Well,” he answers. “Partly honor. I’d never hear the end of it.” Plus, to prevent that exact thing, they both put up collateral.”What was yours?” Kenzi asks. Trick: “You’re sitting in it.” He put up The Dal as collateral. If he doesn’t show up at midnight with the coin, it’ll go to Val. Kenzi vows that they are not going to let that happen.
Saskia is giving Bo a succubus lecture at Hilton Hovel. “Albastors are our natural enemies. Succubae feed off and create sexual pleasure. Albastors do the same with sexual shame.” Bo clarifies that they make people feel bad about wanting sex. Saskia: “Women mostly. Quelle surpise. Bunch of Puritans. They cause massive guilt over any sexual behavior leading to shame spirals, eating disorders, and – ta da – suicide.” She insists that a baby fae like Bo is outmatched this time, but Bo swears it’s not over. She let Collette down and if she can find the albastor, she’s going after him. Saskia gives a weak version of “you go, girl” and wonders how they go about finding the albastor. Bo posits that Alison hooked up the night before she died, but doesn’t look like it was any of the speed daters.
Kenzi enters while Saskia and Bo brainstorm ways to find out and offers that maybe Alison met her date on her way home from the date. Bo follows the bouncing ball and wonders if it happened on Alison’s way out, which means she’d have to pass through the main bar. Bo wonders if Kenzi has the photographer’s card from the club. Kenzi pulls up the photos while Saskia coos this is all kind of fun and maybe she should get a hobby. Bo playfully smacks her arm and says she’s converting Saskia. Saskia smacks back and says maybe she’s converting Bo. Kenzi rolls her eyes. I wonder how the flip they got wireless hooked up in Hilton Hovel when most of their lights are workmen ones or candles. FIOS was at my house for four hours when they hooked up my service and that was with actual walls.
Kenzi pulls up a picture of Alison with Player from the cold open and Saskia recognizes him from the bar as a pick up artist who usually comes in at last call to, well, pick up women at the end of the night. Bo decides this gives them just enough time and wonders if Kenzi is coming with them. “No, my dance card is full,” Kenzi says coyly and she is really enjoying turning the tables on Bo. She gets up and saunters away calling back, “But, you know, don’t wait up!”
Lightning strikes the floor of Trick’s inner sanctum as Kenzi and Trick shield their eyes. “Wow. You were not shitting about the lightning part!” Trick: “I try not to ‘shit’ about things,” complete with air quotes. He’s making me so happy tonight. Trick goes around the room dropping trinkets here and there, explaining that lightning birds are like magpies; they like to steal shiny things from the people they help.
Speaking of which: Kenzi has decided she and Trick need to renegotiate, “entrepreneur to entrepreneur”. Trick: “You’re not an entrepreneur, you’re a thief.” Kenzi: “Semantics.” If she helps save his bar tonight, she wants 10% ownership. Trick crosses his arms: “No.” Kenzi: “I want the coin for a year.” Trick: “No.” Kenzi, whining: “I want a unicorn!” Trick chuckles, but,“No.” Kenzi: “Forgiveness of my tab and free drinks for life. Come on,” and puts her hand out to shake on it. Trick agrees: “But nothing top shelf.”
He suggests that Kenzi get comfortable as it may take awhile, but as Kenzi turns around, a beautiful African woman materializes in the window seat, her head scarf and cape shimmering endlessly with shiny colors. Kenzi gasps: “She’s here!” Trick rushes up, but he can’t see anything. Clumsily, Kenzi tries to curtsey. The lightening bird shakes her head. “Oh Lord.”
Bo and Saskia stalked into Crimson where Player is (badly) dancing. They pull him from his unseen date and proceed to sandwich him between them.
The Lightning Bird wanders around Trick’s inner sanctum, picking up the various trinkets he scattered around the room. “You can call me Gloris,” she tells Kenzi, who repeats the name to herself. Gloris tells her that she’s always liked “you humans” as they never ask her for anything. “This one,” she says, pointing an annoyed finger towards Trick who is, hysterically, sweeping his arms blindly around the window seat in a futile attempt to pin down the invisible-to-fae Gloris. “I bet you he is like all the rest. He wants one of my eggs, right?”
Kenzi thoughtfully agrees, “That bastard!” and Trick whirls around as he realizes Kenzi is talking to the Lightning Bird. “Kenzi!” She goes on to sympathize with Gloris further. “Just don’t do it. They don’t own you.” Gloris: “Exactly!” Trick, warningly: “Kenzi!”
She continues, leading Gloris over to the couch while Trick looks on, helpless to stop her. “Who do they think they are, calling you out of nowhere? Screw ‘em! If they want an egg, there is a grocery store across the street. Am I right?” Gloris: “A-men.” And they clink glasses in solidarity, or rather, from Trick’s perspective, Kenzi clinks glasses with a fairly bad CGI of a floating flagon, but whatever. Maybe it was the intern’s day at the helm.
Now Kenzi starts to spin, ruminating that Gloris could beat them at their own game. Gloris is very interested. “Forget the petty theft,” the thief advises. “Ask for future favors, something valuable in return.” She tells Gloris that she has a hot commodity. “All you need is an agent!” Trick: “Oh, dear God!” Ha! I’m really enjoying these two paired together. Kenzi submits that perhaps Gloris could use a human to handle these exchanges for her, and that she, Kenzi, would be happy to negotiate on Gloris’ behalf with Trick, “that he take this egg in exchange for a future favor to you.” Gloris wonders if Trick would do that and Kenzi, with a telling look at Trick, says emphatically that she is sure he would do that, wouldn’t he? Trick, through clenched teeth: “I would be happy to offer a future favor in exchange for her egg.”
Gloris squeals and trills with delight. “Child,” she tells Kenzi. “I do like you!” She pulls a smaller bag out and palms an egg and passes it over to Kenzi. “Ah! It’s still warm,” Kenzi observes, not with pleasure. Gloris believes that this has been a treat, but she has to get back to her nest. She wonders why Trick wasted his time calling on her, and calls him a martyr. Kenzi wonders what she means, and Gloris tells her that Trick could get what he wants if he just started writing in his book of blood again. Kenzi shoots Trick a contemplative look and Trick starts to get worried about what else Gloris is saying that he can’t hear. “The most powerful are always the most stubborn,” and she shazams away. Trick wonders warily what Gloris said, but Kenzi merely smiles knowingly.
Back at Crimson, Player thinks he’s hit the jackpot and is only too happy to go out into the alley with them. At this point, I’m figuring this alley has seen enough action to write at tell-all book. Bo turns the juice on him, asking about Alison, and Player admits to sleeping with Alison but even under the succubus spell, insists he didn’t kill her. Bo backs off, but Saskia impatiently brushes her aside, “Girl, take the training wheels off,” and proceeds to suck Player down like a really good chocolate martini (is there any other kind?) Bo tries to stop her and eventually has to pull her off Player. Saskia advises her to unclench and goes back for more. Bo is afraid that she’s going to kill him. Saskia: “Relax. Watch and learn.” She lip locks with Player again, and Bo watches, mouth agape, as this time Saskia feeds chi back into him rather than sucking it out. Those bugging, Alti eyes of her seriously creep me out. Back in the land of the living, Player confirms that Alison was alive and sleeping when he left her. Saskia leaves him with a pat of the face and sashays down the alley. Player: “Hey wait! Can I get your number?” Hee.
Bo is stumbling in Saskia’s wake, unable to believe what she’s just seen. “How - how – you brought him back! How did you do that?! Can I do that?!” Saskia giggles that she told Bo she has so much to teach her, totally missing the point. Bo has run from her past, from her kills, her entire life. It’s only since she’s met Dyson and found someone safe to feed on (and lurve) and Doctor Lauren who has helped her learn how to manage her cravings, that she’s started to allow herself to live a real life. Now suddenly she discovers that all her victims didn’t have to die, she didn’t have to kill her first love, had she been raised in a proper fae family, given the proper succubus training, all those people who haunt her (and they do haunt Bo) would have lived. Silk beautifully plays this all in seconds as Bo is still only just beginning to realize the massive impact of what she’s learned.
Trick cracks the Lightning Bird’s egg into a bowl as Kenzi watches, adding a pinch of salt and a drop of witch’s tears (I don’t know!). He dabs an amulet into the mixture, explaining as he dangles the amulet over a map of the city, that it will show them where the coin is at this exact moment. The amulet settles over a spot by the river and Kenzi quickly plugs the information into her cell phone. “Which is currently… a cemetery! Course it is. Awesome town.” Trick heads off to get some flashlights, “and some muscle. Let’s call Hale.” Yay!!
Bo is fast walking her way into her bedroom while leaving Saskia a voice-mail. “I want you to show me that chi thing.” She wants to have a coffee to share some ideas she has about the case. As she hangs up the phone and strips off her jacket, a voice behind her says, “hello whore.” Bo whirls around to find Bertram in her bedroom, and his eyes are glowing blue. This is not going to go well.
“You’re the albastor?” Bo asks for those of us who are not following the bouncing ball. She wonders what he’s doing here and Bertram says Bo was asking for it when she pulled her little whore’s trick at the bar and revealed herself. “You knew I couldn’t resist educating a succubus.” Bo’s cell phone rings and she can see that Saskia is calling, but she ignores it, confident that she can handle Bertram on her own. Bo thinks he’s the remedial one. “I am happy to give you a free lesson.” Bertram is intrigued.
Hale! Hale’s in the crypt! Wait a minute… “This place always creeps me out. I don’t care who knows it.” Trick, holding a lantern, which is not the same thing as a flashlight by the way, agrees that this place creeps everyone out. A stone coffin lies in state in the center of the room adorned with an array of red flowers. “Give me a hand with the lid,” Trick says to Hale, and with effort, they move it aside, covering their noses to search around the revealed rotted skeleton for the coin. Neither of them can find it. “It has to be here,” Trick insists. “The amulet is never wrong.” Kenzi contemplates the coffin while musing that the amulet tells Trick where the coin is at the exact moment he asks. She decides she knows where it is now and they leave.
Bo wonders why Bertram killed Collette and he confirms it was because Bo told him Collette was trying to stir up trouble. He wonders how that makes Bo feel. She tells him to give up, that he doesn’t know what he’s dealing with. “You’re used to picking on innocent humans. I am out of your league.” Bertram insists that none of the women were innocent, each one of them giving in to desires of the flesh. Bo: “So will you, when I’m done,” and she tries to suck him down, her eyes glowing blue with power.
For the first time, Bo’s power doesn’t work. She wonders if it’s because he doesn’t like girls, but that doesn’t track as it worked on the Gay Guard in Food for Thought. Bertram says he doesn’t like anything. He’s above all that, and believes that pleasure is for the weak, like Bo. She starts to struggle as he turns his power on her in full. “You going to wake up knowing exactly what a dirty worthless slattern you really are and you don’t deserve to live.” I’m actually digging the use of slattern. You don’t hear women called slatterns much in this world anymore. Unless you’re watching Fox News, that is.
Bertram is surprised to find Bo easier than he expected. Well, she is a succubus. Nearly a sure thing. Bo’s morality is making her an easy victim for the alabaster; the regret and guilt she feels for the people she’s killed in her need are her biggest vulnerability. “A succubus with a conscience. And for your kind, what a wonderful amount of shame.”
Saskia walks in. “Bad news, Bert.” Is this when Ernie arrives?! She starts to suck him down. “Because I’m pretty goddamn shameless.” Bert hits the ground and Saskia runs to Bo. “Here, take some from me,” and she feeds power back into Bo. With Bo revived, the two stand over Bert, and Saskia wonders what Bo is thinking. “I’m thinking he’s not gonna like this threesome. At all.”
It’s midnight at The Dal, and Valentine saunters in, dictating where he’s going to move the furniture once he takes over. Kenzi taps him on the shoulder and calls him on his con. “J’accuse! Admit it! You pulled a Dutch Heifer.” Valentine: “Pardon?” Kenzi: “A Boston Fandango?” she looks at Trick and Hale, but they’re as clueless as Valentine. “You pulled a fast con,” Kenzi explains, exasperated, and expositions that Valentine never turned the real coin over to Trick in the first place, substituting a dissolving one in its place. Valentine’s had the Coin of Jahayla all these past 100 years and, in fact, just had it on him as he was in the cemetery laying flowers on the coffin, flowers that match the bud currently adorning Valentine’s lapel, and now I really want to know who’s in the coffin. Valentine is pissed. “Trick! You’re not going to listen to this human’s tripe?!” and you can totally tell he’s thinking slattern. Trick is pissed too: “Very closely. As should you and if I were Valentine I would back away slowly. Kenzi insists that she can prove it with a very simple test. “Hale, be a darling dove and frisk our guest. Vigorously.” Hale is eager to comply.
Valentine gives in grumpily and pulls the real coin from his jacket pocket. “Can’t blame a guy for trying,” he tries to joke. “Watch me,” answers Trick. Valentine leaves as Kenzi and Trick exchange pleased conspirators smiles.
Hang on. If the coin Trick had for the last 100 years was a fake, than how is it that The Dal Riata is so successful? Shouldn’t he have instead experienced a century of business failure? Oh, never mind. Say it with me: whatever.
Bo is duct-taping a semi-conscious Bertram to a chair, who wonders if Bo is enjoying herself. He watches Saskia enter the room and remove her fabulous red leather jacket. WANT. “Great. More whores.” What a charmer!
Bo: “Face it, Mr. Prude. You are as horny as the rest of us. It’s just that judging others is the only thing that gets you off.” Saskia: “Well said.” They pour the juice on Bertram from both sides and that’s not nearly as naughty as it sounds. As Saskia pulls back, Bertram begs for more and Bo points out that he’s just a pathetic hypocrite and now he knows it.
“I am done with him. I’m calling Dyson.” She leaves to do so, and Saskia moves in for the kill. By the time Bo turns around, Bert is gone. Bo congratulates Saskia on scaring Bert and orders her to bring him back like the guy in the alley. “I don’t think so, girlfriend.” Oh please. “He tried to kill you. Not cool.” Bo points out that if Saskia doesn’t bring Bert back, he will die. “Well gee, I hope so otherwise I’m losing my touch.” Saskia wonders what the problem is, it’s not like Bo hasn’t killed before. “Yeah for survival or self defense. And I’m not proud of that. He is tied up and helpless. This is murder.”
Saskia says that Bo thinks what Bert did was murder, so therefore Saskia only performed an execution. “You think your cop in shining armor can do jack to him?” Have you seen Dyson?? Cause I wouldn’t bet against the wolf boy, lady. “[Bertram is] dark fae and trust me, my people could give a damn about dead humans.” Bo says that Saskia cares, but she denies it. “I care about you and me. Succubae stick together.” She points out that she attacked one of her own clan to protect Bo and that she’ll be the one to pay if the dark fae find out. Bo says she won’t narc, but she doesn’t want to be part of this. Saskia agrees to go then and Bo exclaims that she can’t leave without showing Bo how to bring Bertram back. “I can’t do this without you!” Saskia agrees and entreats Bo to come with her, but Bo pulls away violently. “You are not who I thought you were.” No shit, babe. Saskia: “And I had higher hopes for you too,” and Bo’s face shows what I’m thinking – what the huh now? Does this mean Saskia was searching for Bo from the start? Saskia claims she’s not giving up on Bo. “When you’re ready to learn more about yourself, come find me.” Exit Saskia. Finally.
Bo runs over to Bert and tries to revive him as her phone rings. “Dyson? I need help.”
At the lab, Dyson is standing with Doctor Lauren at the foot of the examining table on which lays a shrouded Bertram. He observes that if Bertram is local, he’s not light fae. Bo’s gaze is fixated on Bertram’s body and her face is so conflicted and full of guilt and shame, it’s like the albastor actually did his job after all. She confirms that he’s dark fae and Dyson agrees that makes things more complicated but that even the dark fae agree Bo has the right to defend herself in her own home. Doctor Lauren speaks up to say that they have to make that clear to The Morrigan, and Dyson immediately says he intends to. “I’ll handle this, Bo,” he assures her in THAT VOICE. “I’ll make it go away.” Babe, I have a whole host of things I’d be happy to let you make go away at any time.
Bo is twitching in place and suddenly embraces Dyson tightly. “I wish you could,” she says in a broken voice, eyes clenched so she doesn’t have to see Bertram, as if that will keep her from remembering. Dyson holds on to her, concerned by her blatant vulnerability and fear, but still the usual awesome alpha self that he is when he’s not being a total shit. Doctor Lauren ducks her head so she doesn’t have to watch them. I can’t imagine it’s easy seeing the woman you love in the arms of her other lover. I might even sympathize, but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy as a pig in slop to see it myself. Sorry Doc. Sort of. I am interested to see that all of the tension in the room not related to Bo’s feelings about Bertram is coming from Doctor Lauren toward Bo. Honestly, I’m not even sure Bo is aware that Doctor Lauren is in the room. Most telling, there is a decided lack of tension between Dyson and Doctor Lauren, because, well, after Vexed, there’s really nothing left to decide. Is there?
As fast as she embraced him, Bo pushes Dyson away with her fists on his shoulders as though she can’t allow herself his comfort. With a last look at Bert, she hurries out to lick her wounds in misery and quiet at Hilton Hovel. Dyson looks after her, clearly worried. A vulnerable, frightened Bo is something new to everyone.
At The Dal, Kenzi is on the threesome couch, drinking. Trick reminds her that the bar is now closed. “You planning on moving in?” Kenzi says there’s no rush to go home and Trick gives in, sits down, and asks what’s going on between her and Bo. Kenzi says it’s nothing, that Bo is busy making new friends and shit. Trick reminds Kenzi that people rarely take you for granted unless you let them. Kenzi tells Trick that a lightning bird told her some things about him. Trick’s a little taken aback and wonders what things. “That you’re powerful, [you] can make things happen, something about some book of blood. Do you know anything about that?” Trick denies any knowledge. Kenzi: “It takes a con to know a con. You have secrets, Trickster.” Trick: “And you have a wild imagination. Go home urchin. Remind Bo why she needs you.” I love everything about that last sentence.
Cut to Kenzi bouncing into Bo’s bedroom, where Bo is lying on the bed, miserable and heartbroken. “Hey hoochie! So not to panic you but I just thought you should know you have a big BFF competition Trick is totally horning in on your Kenzi time – ” Bo rears up and grabs Kenzi into a fierce hug. Kenzi worries sincerely if Bo is OK and Bo says it was just a rough night, “and I missed you!” Kenzi wonders if she wants to talk about it and Bo hesitates and then says that they always talk about her, she wants to hear about Kenzi’s latest adventures. “Oh my God!” Kenzi whispers in delight. “Where do I start? OK, first, he will deny it, but Trick totally tried to virgin sacrifice me. And then he made me steal an egg from this ladybird person.” Bo: “A what?” Kenzi: “Pay attention. It gets weirder. And then there was this little crazy guy named Valentine who was so annoyingly mean and I felt really bad for Trick cause he was totally stressing out big time, but thank God for Kenzi! Because I totally saved the day…” As she rambles on, Bo catches sight of Saskia’s discarded red leather jacket (still WANT) on the chair behind Kenzi and starts to tune Kenzi out, fixated by thoughts of the woman who left it behind…
New Fae Terms:
Lightning Bird: n. Being that manifests through lightning. Eggs are believed to contain special properties for tracing thieves and stolen items, so don’t scramble them. Its true form can only be seen by human woman. Likes shiny things and shinier garments. Beautiful plumage. Not overly fond of her fellow fae.
Coin of Jahayla: obj. A coin of great power, it gives its owner good fortune in business.
Albastor: n. the natural enemy of a succubus, the prudish albastor feeds off of and creates sexual shame in humans by making people feel bad about wanting sex. The resultant guilt over any sexual behavior can lead to shame spirals, eating disorders, and suicide.
Origin: Former Soviet republics.
Quotes of the Night:
Kenzi: Honey, if I could give you the six inch, all our problems would be solved.
Bo: It’s not like I haven’t tried. Men, women, humans, fae. At one time with a goat.
Kenzi: That is just way too awkward without beer.
Kenzi: Uh oh. Trouble in the shire?
Kenzi: What the fae was that?!
Bo: Two words. Lauren. Kiss-my-ass. Lot of hyphens in that last one.
Kenzi: I’d say milady was single and ready to crotch mingle.
Saskia: It was just plain rude of you not to mark your territory.
Kenzi: “What, like pee on it?!”
Trick: Shocking news from Galileo. You’re not actually the center of the universe!
Kenzi: Is this some kind of sex thing or like some kind of virgin sacrifice? Cause I don’t think I can help you with that one.
Saskia: Fae-dar isn’t really a succubus gift.
Saskia: What, is your box broken?
Kenzi: So if you guys do it, will you like cancel each other out or create a black hole or something
Saskia: I’m more of a novelty whore.
Trick: I try not to ‘shit’ about things.
Kenzi: I want a unicorn!
Kenzi: All you need is an agent!
Trick: “Oh, dear God!”
Next week: Episode 11: Faetal Justice
Images #8, 11, and 13 from lost girl caps at Tumblr
Kiersten Hallie Krum writes smart, sharp & sexy romantic suspense. Find her snarking her way across social media as @kierstenkrum and on her web site and blog at www.kierstenkrum.com.