Can’t get enough of SyFy’s new show Lost Girl? Neither can we, so we’ve begun a weekly recap. Don’t miss Heather Waters’s thoughts on episodes 1-3 or Kiersten Krum’s recaps of episode 4 and episode 5.
And now, on to the recap of episode 6, “Food for Thought”...
Bo can’t decide what to wear. Oh, the horror. She holds up one slinky dress after the other, examining how they look in the floor length mirror every Hilton Hovel should have. Kenzi enters her bedroom and wonders if they have plans. Bo says that she has a doctor’s appointment tonight. Kenzi: “In a push-up bra and sexy boots at this hour?” Bo explains that the appointment is with Doctor Lauren, and as I roll my eyes, Bo wonders about the merits of her latest dress choice. “Needs more boobooly,” Kenzi decides. “Gotta let the girls breathe.” Boy. Howdy.
Kenzi wonders what kind of a test it is, like a sex test grading Bo’s luscious curves. It’s a succubus mid-term, Bo explains. Doctor Lauren is taking her out on the town tonight to see how Bo does controlling herself amongst the livestock. Kenzi wonders if that’s all it is, because she sensing date vibes and knowing how Bo likes the ladies…Bo insists it’s definitely, definitely not a date. She’s just hates tests and needs to chill a little. No disasters on the menu tonight, it’s just drinks and dinner. What could possibly go wrong with that?
Oh nos! She invoked the “what could go wrong?” rule guaranteeing that something will immediately go wrong!!
Cut to a woman dressed as a gypsy grandmother who is whacking away at meat with a cleaver whilst humming a jaunty tune. She dumps the meat into a boiling saucepot muttering “double, double, toil, and trouble” over said pot as she stirs it (actually, she only dumps the meat in). Reaching into the fridge or ice box as they call it in the northern realms (possibly), she pulls out a human foot on a platter and the music gets all fractured and crackly, as though we need an audible cue that a human foot is not good for the sauce. Pshaw. Everyone knows hands offer much better flavoring.
Adding the foot to her pot, Gypsy Granny stirs again muttering “fire burn and cauldron bubble” (no, she doesn’t, OK, she does add the foot). In bed later that night, Gypsy Granny has a serious case of indigestion (toldja she should’ve used a hand!) with noises that make me wonder if an adipose baby is about to pop loose. She struggles to sit up, flicks on a light and screams as she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror, blood streaming from her eyes.
Bo and Doctor Lauren are at The Dal, doing tequila shots. This is bound to end well. Doctor Lauren commends Bo for learning to control her powers in a lab situation but now it’s time for a real-world test drive. As they peruse The Dal’s options, Doctor Lauren wonders how Bo reads sexual libido in a room like this. Bo explains that she sees energy flow, like an aura. “The more aroused someone is, the hotter they burn.” She reads a couple with inverse proportions of attraction to one another “he’s a four; she’s a seven.” Doctor Lauren is amazed that Bo can tell all that by looking and I wonder how a doctor of her supposed skill managed to skip body language reading 101.
Doctor Lauren wonders what Bo sees in her right now and Bo says, she’s definitely curious, but she’s not so sure it’s entirely scientific and they get all up close and in each other’s business until Doctor Lauren calls for another drink. A few shots later they’ve retired to a couch and Doctor Lauren is wondering if she’ll ever be able to feel her lips again. Sign of some good tequila, I’d say. Bo likes after hours Doctor Lauren and thinks she should loosen up more often. Doctor Lauren invites Bo to wield her wiles on her and the midterm commences as Bo takes Doctor Lauren’s hands and feeds pulses of succubus synergy up her arm. Bo asks if Lauren can feel it. “Yeah,” Doctor Lauren says bug-eyed and breathing heavy. She tells Bo to focus on what she’s feeling. “Hungry,” Bo answers. Slowly, they lean in to kiss, but Bo breaks off at the last minute and pulls away. “I can’t do this. Once I start feeding, I can’t stop.” Doctor Lauren insists that she can, that she’s ready for it just as soon as she starts believing in herself. “Some other time,” Bo says, not without regret. Doctor Lauren agrees that they’ll try again another time. “It might help if you stopped fighting your true nature. The fae aren’t monsters, Bo, and neither are you.”
It’s a new day and Bo and Kenzi are in Doctor Lauren’s lab, presumably for another “treatment,” and let me say that I am digging Kenzi’s short, red wig. Kenzi is complaining, both about the lab and Doctor Lauren. “This place gives the creeps. It’s so – Lauren.” Bo claims Doctor Lauren is more interesting than Kenzi thinks. Kenzi: “You’re only saying that because you want to see her naked bits.” Personally, I think Doctor Lauren is as limp and blah as her hair, but to be fair, that could just be a stylist issue. And also the fact that she’s not Dyson.
Bo tells Kenzi to dial it down; Doctor Lauren has really helped her. Kenzi says she’s glad these “treatments” are working for Bo, but nothing in this world is free: “Ever wonder what she’s getting out of this arrangement?”
The doctor herself rushes in, apologizing that she has an emergency and must dash, “Official business.” Bo posits that she means it’s none of Bo’s business, and Doctor Lauren admits that Bo could tag along and learn more about her work by meeting one of the oldest fae orders. Bo says they’d love to and I love the fact that as cock-blocking as Kenzi is being at this moment, Bo doesn’t hesitate to include her.
At the house call, Doctor Lauren holds up her pendant which undoubtedly will mean something later and says “The Ash sent me.” Kenzi pauses on the threshold and decides she’ll pass on going any farther. “Fae cooties. I’m not big on sick peeps.” Exasperated, Doctor Lauren tells her to try not to break anything.
Doctor Lauren examines Gypsy Granny, who is as sweet as apple pie as she pooh poohs all the worry over little ole her as blood streaks from her eyes. Doctor Lauren muses that this is her first aswang patient and I spit wine across the room trying to figure out who named these people asswipe. Gypsy Granny isn’t surprised since they never need a doctor. “I’m sorry,” Bo interrupts. “Asswipe?” OK, fine, she repeats aswang, but her face totally said asswipe. Doctor Lauren explains that this order of fae enjoys a symbiotic relationship with humans. “We eat human corpses,” Granny Gypsy explains matter-of-fact. Dead human bodies are their nourishment.
Kenzi, meanwhile, is roaming the kitchen, poking into things and is psyched to find a biscuit to gnaw on. The girl never stops eating and only weighs about 80 lbs. I hate her. Turning around, she sees the big pot of foot soup simmering on the cooker and makes a beeline for it. Seriously, who wanders through a supernatural stranger’s house and helps themselves to dinner? Kenzi’s already admitted to feeling squeamish about being in a sick fae’s house, but she’s OK mooching their food? I know Kenzi’s off the street and a ballsy survivor and maybe I can buy that she constantly grazes because somewhere along the line she had no food at all, but come on!
Back in Gypsy Granny’s bedroom, Doctor Lauren explains that aswang eat humanity’s diseased dead and thus keep toxins out of the environment. Aw, how sweet of them. Or possibly sour. I suspect Ebola would leave a tart aftertaste. Doctor Lauren examines Gypsy Granny and is clearly not happy. Gypsy Granny fears that it’s bad and Lauren says she’s not sure, asking “Could it be due to someone you ate?”
Cut to the kitchen where Kenzi is spooning up herself some foot soup.
Gypsy Granny can’t understand how it could be food related as she’s eaten everything–cancer, Black Death, Ebola–with only occasional heartburn, but now she’s convinced she’s dying. Doctor Lauren says she needs to check what Gypsy Granny’s eaten in the last 24 hours.
Cut back again to the kitchen as Doctor Lauren and Bo walk in on Kenzi scooping up the last of the soup with her biscuit. She completely freaks. “Not only do these aswang have a very unfortunate name, but it also eats dead people?!” As she disinfects her mouth with everything and anything she can find, Doctor Lauren admits to Bo that they don’t even know if the soup is the problem. She sends Bo to the funeral home from where Gypsy Granny gets her bodies while she goes back to the lab and examines the soup and maybe come up with an antidote. Cue Kenzi: “Does anyone have a mint?!”
At The Dal, Trick is dealing in spices with an old friend and my ridiculous memory cache for faces immediately pegs him as Death from Supernatural. I love it when character actors pop in between genre shows. It’s like a brotherhood of the weird and wacky. “I’ve been craving a giant dish of colcannon,” Trick confesses. Oh dude, me too! They quote a ditty from the old country and raise their glasses. Trick asks what his friend wants in trade and Old Friend points out the gleipnir, which Trick immediately refuses. Old Friend begs a peek and Trick presents it reverently. Old Friend reminisces about how the gleipnir once held the Fenris wolf “Forged by dwarves,” Trick quotes with pride. “Stronger than any other chain. The more the Fenris struggled, the stronger it became.” It’s so poetic the way these fae talk about torture. Old Friend slyly suggests that if Trick ever wants to trade it… Trick swears that will never happen, so we know it’s gonna happen damn soon.
Bo and Kenzi have arrived at the funeral home that doubles as Gypsy Granny’s grocery store. The director bemoans Gypsy Granny’s condition and explains how they tightly regulated their food appropriation stream with an extensive check list that helps identify the appropriate outlet. She flips through her card catalog and provides Bo with the address of the last–er–meal plan she sent to Gypsy Granny, a victim of a hit and run marked for aswang only as the director didn’t like the look of him and aswang can eat anything.
Bo and Kenzi go to the victim’s apartment and find it thoroughly tossed. “Somebody was definitely looking for something,” Kenzi opines, right before that somebody jumps out and puts a gun to Bo’s. There’s a struggle, natch, and as Bo backs kicks the bad guy, the gun goes off. Bad guy runs off and Kenzi collapses. “Are you hit?!” Bo asks in a panic. “No,” Kenzi says and her eyes are dripping blood. “But suddenly, I don’t feel so good.”
Bo takes Kenzi back to Doctor Lauren’s lab, Kenzi protesting all the way. “Seriously, I think I just sneezed too hard. It’s just a little eye blood and who hasn’t had a little eye blood before?” Doctor Lauren says she’s developed a rudimentary treatment but privately tells Bo that a treatment isn’t a cure. She’s discovered that the disease is a hemorrhagic fever that Doctor Lauren has never seen before, definitely from the foot soup, but a chemical in the tissue that she still can’t identify. Gypsy Granny, meanwhile, is getting worse. If they can find original source of the infection, Doctor Lauren could make an antitoxin. Bo goes off to dig into foot guy’s life, promising Kenzi that she’s in good hands.
At the cop shop, Dyson (FINALLY!!! That was a long, damn-ass 17:25 people!) is digging into foot guy’s life, which isn’t much. Bo describes the bad guy tossing the apartment and details his tattoo. Dyson identifies it as the symbol of the Iron Chain, a local biker gang. Dyson: “Come on, I know where they hang out.” Of course you do.
Bo and Dyson stride into the Iron Chain’s lot, all bad ass alphas, and I refill my wineglass to properly enjoy what’s coming. Oddly enough, not one of the do-ragged, paunchy bikers looks remotely like Jax. The bikers grumble and glare as Bo points out her attacker who claims to have nothing to say to Bo just as his pal breaks the neck off a beer bottle. “Friendly place,” Dyson observes. Bo takes the first shot at her guy, grabbing him into a hold, and Dyson whacks away at a few others (hotly, natch) including beer bottle neck guy, before flashing his...badge (damn it!). “Anyone else want to be stupid?” he asks, which seems like a question that answers itself. “We’re just here for some information.”
Bo interrogates the biker who claims he got $500 to clean out foot soup’s apartment but followed the “client” back to a chemical company.
Bo updates Kenzi and claims she can handle it solo. “Just hang in there until I get back, deal?” Kenzi agrees and Bo leaves, but not without a telling touch for Dyson, who’s hovering nearby (such a good boy!). “You’ll stay with me though, right?” Kenzi asks him. “You bet,” he promises in THAT VOICE. “I’m not going anywhere,” and they pinkie swear on it. Kenzi claims she’s not scared, just bored, and Dyson amuses her. Yeah, he’s not buying that either. I love the big bro/little sis vibe they have together and that it’s not only because Dyson is so into Bo that he takes Kenzi by default. Kenzi has him locked into her too, in a totally different, but entirely fabu way.
Doctor Lauren tells Bo none of the fae drugs the chemical company is working on would harm the fae. Bo is still convinced the answers lie there, so she’s going to break in and needs Doctor Lauren help to do it. Doctor Lauren balks. “Me? What can I do?” Oh, honey, if only I knew. Bo insists she needs Doctor Lauren’s help to identify what they’re looking for. “It’s crazy, it’s too dangerous,” Doctor Lauren bleats. Bo wonders if she should just let Kenzi die then, and to her credit, Doctor Lauren says no. She adds that she works for The Ash and can’t go off on an unsanctioned mission. Bo says the chemical is killing fae and that benefits The Ash.
Doctor Lauren finally agrees to go along and comes up with a quality control inspector she can impersonate if Dyson can detail the real inspector for 24 hours. Bo, meanwhile, signs up as assistant to the lecherous head of operations and with one short skirt and a tight sashay, has the entire chemical nerd squad panting in her wake.
At the cop shop, Dyson brings in the protesting quality controller who claims she has no idea how that stuff got in her bag. He meanders off with the bag to “take it into evidence” and passes her credentials off to Doctor Lauren who’s waiting in the hall. Doctor Lauren wonders what happens to the real QC and Dyson assures her that she’ll be released without charges in 24 hours. He’s actually surprised that The Ash condoned what Doctor Lauren and Bo are about to do and she admits she had to talk him into it. “Well, for Kenzi’s sake, I hope you know what you’re doing,” Dyson says. Doctor Lauren looks like she wishes she knew too.
Kenzi wakes up in the lab in a panic, and calls for Dyson, who isn’t there. She strips off the medical monitor wires and stumbles out of bed as Gypsy Granny is brought in on a stretcher in critical condition. Kenzi watches in horror as Gypsy Granny flat lines and dies. As Kenzi starts to totally lose her shit, screaming for the doctors to help Gypsy Granny, she gets restrained and stuck with a needle until she goes back under.
At Chem Central, Bo is cooling her heels in a lab when Doctor Lauren rushes in. Bo: “I have been waiting in rat city for the last half hour, I think they’re starting to judge me.” Doctor Lauren’s learned what they’re looking for is in Sector 6 but she doesn’t have clearance. Bo wants to rush off and succubus anyone in her way, but Doctor Lauren insists they need a plan first. That’s how she works. How very Lauren of her. She sends Bo to get a key card and voice imprint from her lecherous new boss without succubusing him and drawing more attention to their presence. Doctor Lauren insists Bo has many other charms in her arsenal and promises to make a distraction after hours to give Bo enough time to deal with the guards.
Back at the lab, a trembling Kenzi turns the needle on the fae phlebotomist orderly and orders him to strip & help her “escape.”
Lauren is doing lab rat stuff, a nice call back to the boil, toil, and trouble of the cold open, only this time mixing in test tubes rather than a cauldron/stew pot.
Dyson returns to the lab to find Kenzi missing. Fae phlebotomist orderly tells him Kenzi doesn’t have a lot of time left. Dyson orders him not to tell anyone she’s gone. My heart skips a beat as his eyes go wolf gold and he breathes deeply to track Kenzi’s scent.
Bo is rifling through the letch’s briefcase when he walks in on her. She reigns in the succubus and sets free the ditz, getting the letch to pronounce his name for her as she palms his key card and quickly skedaddles.
New recap feature: Scene of the Night
Dyson and his long-legged stride wander through a cemetery (as you do). He finds Kenzi huddling on a bench. She admits she used to come here often just to think. “You promised you wouldn’t leave me,” she accuses. He apologizes: “Bo needed me,” as though that’s an acceptable excuse and of course, for both of them, it is. Kenzi vows not to return to the lab. “Way too cuckoo’s nest. I’d rather die in a ditch.” Dyson puts his arm around her (sigh) assuring her she isn’t going to die, and promises to take her somewhere else that’s safe. She agrees, but wants to stay in the cemetery a little bit longer. “It’s nice. Unless you have somewhere you need to be.” Dyson: “No, I’m good,” and he wraps both arms around her as she snuggles against him in a futile effort to protect her from the thing neither of them can fight much less see. The camera pulls back framing them with tombstones and the moment is so poignant, so sweet. The big bad wolf boy and the Goth chick survivor alone no more. Sigh.
Why yes, I do write romance novels. What gave me away?
Back at Chem Central it’s distraction time and with some quick Chemistry 101 and a gas mask, Doctor Lauren knocks out the security guards and sends Bo on her way to Section 6.
At The Dal (where else?), Dyson carries Kenzi down into Trick’s inner sanctum, thanking him for closing early. Trick: “The fewer who know about this, the better.” He warns Dyson that they’re going to expect Kenzi back at the lab and The Ash could come down on Dyson for insubordination. Dyson: “I don’t always take my orders from The Ash.” Trick: “True, but he’s not supposed to know that.” Ooohhh. Mysterious back story allusion on aisle 12! So meaty.
Meanwhile, Bo hits a snag and runs into a guard. She tries to work him with natural wiles “I just love a man in uniform,” but he’s not buying, “Honey, that makes two of us.” Bo turns on the succubus and it’s pretty damn funny when she kisses him and Gay Guard doesn’t quite know what to do: “I really shouldn’t be enjoying this!” Bo goes back for seconds, taking him to the ground. She stops, scared that she’s killed him, but Gay Guard rallies, moaning “that was a treat!” Naturally, Bo is thrilled. This is her first human feeding where she didn’t kill her victim. Huzzah!
She starts on her merry way, but Gay Guard surprises her by surging to his feet and pulling his gun. “I don’t know what you’re playing at but–” he’s cut off as Doctor Lauren surges out from nowhere and plunges a needle in his neck. “I am officially out of my element,” she confesses. No duh, doc. “This time we play it your way.” They pause to high-five Bo’s first non-kill and then breach Section 6.
Trick is checking his watch and pacing as Old Friend returns to The Dal (I think his name is Arlo, but I don’t have closed captioning on this thing so I’m sticking to Old Friend). Old Friend has brought Trick’s request, a very rare commodity that wasn’t easy to obtain. Old Friend reveals an old horn and Trick eyes it gleefully. “It’s perfect.” Old Friend wonders if he can afford it, and without hesitation, Trick hands over the priceless gleipnir, only itnow sounds like he’s saying gletchner (no closed captions, people!). Trick goes off to make some horn tea, which I suppose is better than foot soup, but I’m still backing hand stew FTW.
Kenzi, being Kenzi, pokes around Trick’s sanctum (you really don’t want to spell that one wrong) and uncovers an unusual manicure kit. Trick stops her and saying it’s something he doesn’t use anymore. He serves her the abathorn tea and Kenzi thanks him for letting her crash there, insisting that she’s feeling better already it’s “just one of those 24-hour plagues.” Dyson returns from wherever and he and Kenzi and Trick all look at one another with great concern.
Doctor Lauren is still all agog that Bo’s treatment sessions have paid off. They get into Section 6 and as Doctor Lauren babbles on about core samples, Bo stops short at the sight of a big empty room with a fish tank at its center. “Think it’s whatever is in the big frickin’ tank?”
One quick look is enough for them to know it’s no fish. “It’s a basilisk,” Doctor Lauren informs Bo, a dark underfae creature with such toxic skin she can’t figure how Chem Central even managed to catch it. “Poor thing, they have it on life support.” Really, Doctor Lauren? It’s a Goauld! It’ll eat your soul! Oh wait, wrong genre show. Whoops. My bad.
At Trick’s, Kenzi is shivering with cold and Dyson layers her with blankets. He reassures her that Bo will come through for her. Kenzi wonders why they all look so worried then and this next bit is an awfully close second for scene of the night. “I see more than anyone thinks and that’s because no one’s watching me. Everyone’s always watching Bo. And what I see is you helping her, even though it hurts you. So how can you protect her if being with her makes you weak? If I’m not here someday, can I count on you to have her back? Even if it means cutting her loose?” Oh man, you’re killing me here, kid. Dyson looks like she’s killing him too. Also, he doesn’t answer her.
Doctor Lauren is fussing with the poor widdle basilisk’s tank to get a tissue sample for her antitoxin. After some trial and error, they manage to pin the snake down and take a sample. But Doctor Lauren refuses to leave the basilisk there; it’s too dangerous, but no good to Chem Central if it’s dead. They literally pull the plug on the snake just as the alarm goes off and quickly run for it.
Doctor Lauren administers the antitoxin to Kenzi, and she slowly starts to recover. Relieved, Bo thanks Doctor Lauren for everything and in turn, Doctor Lauren puts her hands on Bo’s shoulders and thanks her for helping her get out of her shell for a little while. Bo flinches and inadvertently looks toward Dyson who doesn’t look happy to see the intimacy between the two women. She starts to backpedal, but Doctor Lauren assures her it’s all good; she knows they’re back in the real world and no longer undercover. Dyson looks faintly pleased at this display of preference though still wary, and Bo gazes after the departing Doctor Lauren as though she’s just lost her new toy and wasn’t done playing with it.
Hale and hearty, Kenzi digs into a burger and fries (yum!) while a content Bo sidles over to the watching Dyson and recaps it all for us. Kenzi on the mend, check. Score points with The Ash, check. Plus, her sex life is no longer on the critical list. She cheerfully tells Dyson that she could probably have sex with humans now, without casualties. He posits that they have the good doctor to thank for that and wonders all too casually if Doctor Lauren will be Bo’s first test subject. “Would that be a problem?” Bo asks. Dyson: “What you do with other people is your business.” Bo: “So you wouldn’t mind if I started seeing other people then. Hypothetically.” Dyson, so cool, so calm: “Not at all,” Frankly, I’m surprised his pants don’t catch on fire right then and there and am really quite disappointed about that they don’t. Dyson strides off as though they’re talking about coffee flavors and Bo looks surprised at his answer and not at all happy about it. Bo: “Good to know.” I really, really beg to differ.
New Fae Terms:
Aswang: n. Old fae species that feeds off diseased human dead. Good cooks. Hate to be a bother. Able to digest Black Death, cancers, and Ebola. Origin: Philippine
gleipnir : n. chain forged by dwarves (who else?) that once held the Fenris wolf, who appears to have been quite the lupus. The more its prey struggles, the tighter the gleipnir gets. Priceless, but tradable in a pinch. Origin: unknown
abathorn: n. a horn. A tea made from its shavings can slow hemorrhaging and infuse strength temporarily. Very expensive. Origin: unknown.
Best Lines of Episode:
Bo: “I hate tests. I’m better at multiple orgasm than multiple choice.”
Kenzi: “What is it? Take a Fae to Work Day?”
Kenzi: “I’m always putting my foot in my mouth, but at least it’s always MY foot!”
Kenzi: “Worst case scenario, I just ate toxic soup. Best case scenario: I am a toe-sucking cannibal.”
Dyson: Is [Kenzi] contagious?” Fae phlebotomist orderly: “Not unless you plan on eating her, which would serve her right.”
Bo: “That’s so strange. I don’t usually have trouble wrapping my tongue around things.”
Kenzi: “Did I just wake up in Narnia?”
Kenzi: “I’m frickin’ freezing man. Can you like wolf out and lay on my feet?” Dyson: “Maybe later.”
Next Week: ArachnoFaebia
Kiersten Hallie Krum writes smart, sharp & sexy romantic suspense. Find her snarking her way across social media as @kierstenkrum and on her web site and blog at www.kierstenkrum.com.