This episode should have been called “Bad Romance Writing 101,” it was that predictable. Just disappointing.
We open in Storybrook with mysterious Motorcycle Guy and his strange box (not an innuendo, people, a real box) talking to Henry. Henry is intrigued and guy is being mysterious. Oh, and hot...very hot.
Mayor sees Henry talking to the hot MG and gets freaked out. MG’s last words are “a storm’s coming” in a very Wyatt Earp kind of way...hmm. What could it mean?
Cut to Mary Margaret and Emma’s place, MM is running through the house like a bat out of hell mumbling about being late. We see her dash into Granny’s place and sit down to order, Then David walks in and she tries to look inconspicuous. He pretends not to notice her, but we know that he does. Then they make small talk and giggle. He leaves to give coffee to his wife who waits in the car.
Once David leaves, Emma walks in and confronts MM about the bull she spewed as to why she was leaving early. They have a talk about how “stalking is creepy.“ It’s a funny scene, but I don’t think it was supposed to be.
Cut to the past, with Snow is talking to Little Red Riding Hood, who is bringing her food out in the forest. In a fairytale version repeat of the scene we just saw they talk about the Prince—snoresville!
Red does tell Snow about a creepy evil little man whose magic can make her forget about the Prince. He’s a badass, though, so she better be careful. Oh boy, it’s guess who—NO, not David Bowie!—it’s Rumpy time!! Woot!
Snow paddles across a foggy lake to be startled by Rumpelstiltskin wearing one of Frank-n-Furter’s old floor show costumes, chittering and going on in his usual manic way. They talk about the power of love while R makes some kind of weird “forget me” potion for Snow. He gives her the potion and says that love is the strongest power of all. He only charges her the price of one hair off her head. Then poof! he’s gone. Is this Wicca gone wrong?
In real-time Storybrook, MM is shopping and bumps into Catherine in the market. Magically the mayor is there too, gloating at MM because Catherine is buying a pregnancy test.
Back to the past: King goes to Prince and tells him he had better forget Snow and get it together. He reminds him of that original bargain, and threatens to take him out permanently if he can’t forget Snow. As soon as King leaves, Prince writes a letter to Snow and sends it off via
carrier pigeon a dove.
In Storybrook, MM finds a trapped dove while she’s out wandering in the forest. She takes it to the vet—yep, the one David works at—and there are many veiled references to being lost, only they are talking about the dove, not the storyline!
Meanwhile, Emma and EQ have a heart to heart about Motorcycle Guy and who he might be. EQ insists that Emma find out, and insinuates that MGmight put Henry at risk.
In the past, Snow gets Prince’s letter via the dove and sets out for the Castle. The letter professes his love for her and asks her to come to him if she feels the same.
Back to Storybrook. The storm is building as MM goes back into the forest to look for the doves’ flock so she can set the bird free among its kind. She slips and falls down a hill and is dangling by a root from a fall that would surely kill her.
Past: As she sneaks into the Castle, she sees the Prince, but before she can do anything she is caught and thrown into the dungeon. There she meets a grumpy dude called, what else Grumpy (enter the dwarves). He tells her his own tale of love and woe. Just then, another dwarf comes whose name is Stealthy...wait, what? He helps both of them escape.
Storybrook: David magically appears and pulls MM to safety, it’s raining full on now, so they grab the bird and run to an empty cabin (there is always one of those conveniently about; where else are they gonna kiss?)
Past: While escaping, all three of them are caught by the King, Stealthy makes a break for it and is killed (ah, no wonder we never heard about the eighth dwarf!) Snow turns herself up in exchange for Grumpy who is released.
King and Snow have a long talk about how she is going to tell Prince she doesn’t love him, or he will kill the Prince. Snow knows what she has to do.
Storybrook: In the cottage, David and MM start having a heart to heart about relationship stuff, when MM drops the P bomb about Catherine. David is stunned.
Meanwhile Motorcycle guy is at the cafe when Emma stomps in and demands to know who he is. He’s all mysterious and full of double entendre about his “box” and what’s inside it. He tells Emma she will have to wait long and hard (not joking here) to find out what is inside, or she can let him buy her a drink and he will tell her right now. She agrees all breathy like.. and he opens it to reveal a typewriter.
OMG did the show hire a better writer??
He laughs and gets up to leave; she asks about the drink and he says later.
Back to Prince and Snow, who notice it has stopped raining, so they run out to release the dove. The bird flies away, and they both share a warm moment, then launch back into a refrain of “It can never ever be!” again.
Past: Snow goes to Prince, and lies to him, telling him she doesn’t love him and never will. He is crushed and she forces herself to leave without looking back. Sad times.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Storybook that is, David talks to Catherine about their relationship. She tells him she isn’t pregnant but wants a family and they need to start counseling. He agrees. He doesn’t go to the cafe at 7:10 like usual.
Past: Snow staggers away from the Castle and runs into the Dwarves. She tells them what happened and they say they will take her to their home. She tries to drink the potion, but Grumpy talks her out of it. They all leave. Later that night, Grumpy goes to tell Snow that the Prince is out looking for her. She asks him “what Prince” and he notices she has drunk the potion. Damn Snow!
So in Storybrook both David and MM show up to the cafe late in a desperate ploy to avoid each other, but end up running smack into each other. David blurts out that Catherine isn’t pregnant, and in an epic moment of weakness, they stand in the street making out, right in front of the mayor. Who looks like she wants to cut a bitch.
Oh, how the plot thickens...but only to a really runny soup.
When she’s not herding cats or creating art, she works as a part-time bookseller. You can find her on Twitter as @psynde.