Now that we have survived the whole “Jiminy fell down the mine shaft” moment, we move on to the next episode.
I have to be honest: I found the first ten minutes and the last ten minutes of this show captivating. The middle? Not so much; I got bored and distracted. Here’s hoping the scriptwriters find their pacing soon.
David gets shown his house by his wife Catherine, and clearly he remembers and feels nothing. There is a welcome home party with all the townsfolk, including a new doctor: Doctor Brown (the dead uncle from The Vampire Diaries). At the party, Henry explains to Emma that they just have to jog David’s memory. He assures her it will be easy. David leaves the party, only to end up at Mary Margaret’s house. He tells her she is all he cares about, and that he didn’t “choose” his current life. She rebuffs him.
Switch to Fairytale land, Prince fights brute, and then Prince kills brute. The King is talking to neighboring King Midas with his infamous gold hand. They are talking about dragon slaying, part of every good fairy tale.
King Midas tells Prince if he will kill the dragon, then he will bestow a crapton of gold on his father’s kingdom. While Prince is babbling about how easy it will be and how awesome he is (in a total Thor moment), the brute who isn’t quite dead yet runs said Prince through with a sword.
Yuck...who didn’t see that coming?
The kingdom is grieving for poor dead Prince when King sends for Rumpelstiltskin. You see, the kingdom is flat broke and if Midas finds out Prince is dead—like in can’t kill a dragon dead—all bets are off.
King is sure Rumpy can fix it. Rumpy shows up looking like a moldy Oscar, and reminds King that he already did him a great service by finding him a son in the first place. Apparently the Queen was barren. Rumpy refuses to bring Prince back to life, saying he cannot do what is forbidden. He does, however, toss out that Prince has a twin brother (how very convenient!). Yup #1 Prince—a prince!—is dead, while #2 Prince is a shoddy sheep herder—but hey, at least he’s breathing.
David/Prince is talking to Catherine while she shows him pictures and talks about a windmill. He is getting all squirmy and uncomfortable. His wife mentions the bedroom and he breaks into a sweat, then makes a break for it.
Rumpy appears to #2 son and tells him he must become a dragon slayer/prince. It’s the only way to keep the farm. At first he fights it, but he finally agrees (I bet he was getting tired of those sheep anyway).
Mary Margaret is in the cafe; the creepy doctor from the party is there also, and puts some moves on her, which she rejects, and he leaves, downcast. Then mayor Biatch (as Nat calls her) shows up and gives MM a huge lecture about how David isn’t hers. She says MM is ruining lives left and right and to stop being so selfish. She throws around some threats, which you can tell she will stand behind. She says MM needs to let David remember “who he is.” Boy oh boy she’s going to regret saying that, I am guessing.
#2 Prince isnt too handy with a sword, so it’s decided that warriors will kill the dragon while he waits outside. The warriors must have been extras in too many action films cuz they can’t hit the broadside of a barn. ALL OF THEM get hurt immediately, leaving Prince to fend for himself. He can barely lift his sword, but somehow still manages to cut the head off the dragon. That’s some TV magic right there, folks.
Back to Mary Margaret and David, he is telling her that their love is his destiny...whatever...and he wants her to meet him at the toll bridge—uh huh, that bridge.
When King Midas comes to give the other king the gold, he decides to throw a huge monkey wrench in it. He wants #2 Prince to marry his daughter who is, wait for it, Catherine. He introduces her as Abigail and she has absolutely no facial expression—too much fey Botox maybe? #2 Prince is all um no; thanks, but no thanks. That is, until his dad threatens to kill him and his mother. He accepts.
David is making for the bridge, and he runs into the mayor. She pretends to offer help, but actually sends him in the wrong direction. He’s lost and can’t find the bridge, so he wanders into Mr. Gold’s pawn shop, where he gets proper directions from Gold. While there, David sees the windmill that Catherine was showing him pictures of earlier. His memories are starting to come back! Gold gives the camera a smug smile. Damn if Rumpelstiltskin didn’t make this boring ass episode instantly interesting.
We go back to Fairytale land where #2 son comes to say goodbye to mom and the farm. She gives him a ring for his “one true love.” And it’s the ring MM is always twisting on her hand—hm, very interesting!
Back at the bridge MM is waiting for David; he finally shows up, looking like someone socked him in the gut. He says he has to go back to Catherine, because it’s the right thing to do. MM melts down and leaves. Lame, David, very, very lame.
Okay, so Deputy Emma is patrolling when she sees a man climb out a window of the mayor’s house. She thinks it’s a burglar, so she sneaks up and clocks the dude, knocking him down—but it’s Sam, partially dressed and carrying his shoes. Emma figres out that Sam is sleeping with the Queen Bitch and is thoroughly disgusted. She quits, and storms off.
We see #2 Prince marrying Abigail and they travel to his new realm, where hiding in the trees is that certain highwayman (woman) from the first episode. Remember?
Back in Storybrook, creepy Doctor Brown (like the soda) hits on MM again. Hey, do you guys think he’s Robin Hood? Just a thought. This time MM doesn’t rebuff him; they get their drank on.
So what did you guys think? Were you bored too, or did you like it?
Did you see the preview for next week featuring Sam? Who’s the dirty little huntsman?
When she’s not herding cats or creating art, she works as a part-time bookseller. You can find her on twitter as @psynde.