A while back you might have seen my post “Chemistry 101: Top 10 Romantic Onscreen Moments” in which I wax rhapsodic on some of the best mushy moments in my favorite offbeat shows and movies.
It seemed only fitting that I up the ante and follow with a post on the Top 10 Sexy Moments. Whether you like it hot, sweet, silly, or all of the above, there’s a scene here for you. By the way, I think it goes without saying but just in case: quite a few of these video clips are not safe for work (not that any of you would be checking out H&H at work, of course!)
1. Buffy and Angel
Since Buffy and vampire Angel started off the last list, it seems only fitting that they also begin this Top 10, especially since this particular scene is one of the sexiest of any show—and they don’t even take their clothes off. After being shot up with a mystical poison Angel’s on the path to permanently dead. But wait—it turns out the cure is Slayer blood. Buffy is all too willing to make rogue Slayer Faith the unwilling donor (you know Buffy means business when she dons the leather pants), but when that doesn’t work out, she antagonizes Angel until the vampire inside takes over and sinks its fangs into her instead. This one is definitely for the vampire fans. They fall together onto the floor where there are rippling muscles, arching backs, ecstatic grimaces and moans, hands grasping (and crushing) nearby objects, and “morning-after” regret when Angel finally comes back to his senses. This scene is worth watching at least a couple of times.
2. Buffy and Spike
You know we can’t mention Angel without also mentioning his grand-sireling and nemesis, Spike. Buffy and Angel might have had the big romance, but Buffy and Spike had the sex life mere mortals only dream of. Sure, it was messed up and wrong but that’s what made it so right. It doesn’t hurt that James Marsters was perfectly cast as the non-brooding bleached-blond bit of fanged awesome. He’s been known to joke about having spent season 6 wearing little more than a sock, but Spike fans are not complaining (even non-Spike fans have to give credit where it’s due). The first (and one of the best) sex scene between Buffy and Spike takes place in an abandoned house. Buffy’s back from the dead, while Spike’s realized he’s in love with the Slayer and neither of them are dealing too well. As they take out their frustration on each other—and the house they’re in—the sexual tension builds until Buffy finally gives in. Next thing we know the building is coming down around the lovers as they consummate their love-hate relationship. To watch the scene, check out the Buffy Season 6 episode “Smashed.”
3. Bo and Dyson
With a succubus as the main character it’s not hard to guess that Lost Girl is full of sexy moments. Throw werewolf Dyson into the mix and you’re guaranteed a good time. In fact, considering their relationship started off purely physical as a way for Bo to heal without killing anyone (humans are so easily drained) it’s amazing the characters have time for anything else. Season 1’s “Vexed” has one of the best—and sexiest—beginnings of any show (the rest of the episode ain’t too shabby, either). Annoyed at Bo’s apparent interest in Lauren, Dyson has cut her off as far as their healing sessions. But even bleeding and obviously hurt, he’s still the one Bo goes to. Shots of her stumbling to his apartment are interspersed with shots of him working over a punching bag. He tries to turn her away, but it’s amazing what you can get a guy to do if you say the magic word.
4. Xev and the Monks
Lexx is one of those shows that you just have to watch to get. It’s sci-fi, horror, comedy, camp and above all else it’s sexy. Weird and silly sexy, but the world thrives on variety, does it not? And for this show not to be included on a list of sexy scenes would be a true disservice. If you watch Season 2’s episode “Nook” around the 20:00 minute mark you’ll get a good idea of the sorts of shenanigans that go on in this show. The crew of the Lexx are paying a visit to a planet where the only inhabitants are a sect of strict monks. Since the monks reproduce via cloning none of them know what a woman is. Of course love slave Xev’s presence is more than a little disruptive, and she is nothing if not encouraging. So when “Brother” Xev gets a massage along with the other monks and starts getting a little…vocal in her enjoyment the monks can’t quite contain themselves.
5. Owen et al.
Torchwood is a spinoff of Doctor Who, even though the shows don’t have much in common. For a start, where the Doctor tends toward the chaste end of the spectrum, Torchwood veers into free-for-all territory (sometimes with more success than others). All the characters have their moments but one of my favorites belongs to Owen. Using contraband alien tech he manages to make a previously uninterested prospect jump him and announce that he’s coming home with her. The really fun part comes when the woman’s angry boyfriend confronts them. With a shrug and a grin Owen hauls out the alien tech again then calls a cab for the three of them. You’ve got to admire the flexibility and “what the hell” attitude. You can see for yourself here in the Torchwood pilot episode at 34:45 and 36:15.
6. Spike and Anya
I didn’t mean for three of the Top 10 list to be gleaned from Buffy, but what can I say? The show has way too many scenes to choose from (hell, Spike scenes alone could have filled the entire list). And this one happens to be one of the best. After Buffy and Xander break the hearts of Spike and Anya, the latter two try to numb the pain with a bottle of whisky. Of course drunkenness leads to debauchery (with a side of voyeurism, as the two don’t realize they’re on camera the entire time and have a full viewing audience). Clothes come off and table displays go flying. Spike stays fully dressed, though, including his trademark leather coat, which somehow only makes the scene hotter. Watch the episode “Entropy," checking in around 31:15 for the main attraction.
7. Mason and the Goth
Dead Like Me is one of the best shows ever. If you haven’t seen it you’re missing good acting, good directing, great writing and a brilliant concept. I particularly have a soft spot for “fuck up” Reaper Mason. So maybe it’s no surprise that the sexiest scene on the show—in my slightly biased opinion—features Mason. Despite his good looks and gorgeous accent the poor guy can’t get a girl (the alcoholism and drug use might have something to do with that). But when he catches the eye of a cute goth salesgirl (a cameo by Jewel Staite!) they circle each other flirtatiously (it’s amazing how exciting eye contact can be) before hooking up in the storeroom while the customers outside wish the manager had invested in some soundproofing. Watch the scene here; or check out the episode “Rest in Peace (season 1) starting at 23:30.
8. Mal and Nandi
If Dead Like Me is one of the best shows ever, then Firefly is the best. That’s right, I said the best. And considering there’s not a vampire or other undead creature in sight that’s saying a lot coming from me (although there are spaceships). Being one of Joss Whedon’s projects (he’s also responsible for Buffy) it shouldn’t be a surprise Firefly made this list. Especially when you take into account a romantically frustrated captain and a beautifully fierce madam. Captain Malcolm Reynolds and crew have taken on a brothel’s cause and are preparing for a serious battle with some of the nastier locals. As they work together Mal realizes he’s got more than a professional interest in Nandi (well, his profession anyway). The feeling is mutual and they decide to relieve some of their pre-fight tension together. It ends in heartbreak but for the moment everything is just fine. Enjoy a taste of Firefly here or do yourself a favour and watch the entire series (this episode is “Heart of Gold.”)
9. Sookie and Bill
And we’re back to the vampires as this list comes full circle. I know you can’t walk ten feet without tripping over a vampire these days but even non-fans have to admit there’s something about their overwhelming strength, along with the biting (or just the fangs—fangs are cool) and maybe a tinge of fear that makes an average encounter ridiculously sexy. Unless your idea of a walk on the wild side is getting French vanilla ice cream instead of plain vanilla, in which case this list is really not for you. But for the rest of us, True Blood is an orgy (occasionally literally) of hot scenes. I think my favorite Bill and Sookie moment happens when Sookie thinks Bill has died in a fire. She goes to the cemetery to place flowers on his grave when suddenly a hand pushes out of the earth and grabs her. The next thing we know Bill is crawling out of the grave naked and he and Sookie proceed to have intense “OMG you’re still alive!” sex. Never mind why Bill decided to go to ground naked—that’s not the point. Watch the scene here or catch season 1’s episode “The Fourth Man in the Fire.”
10. Sookie and Eric
And that leads us to Sookie and her other great love (sort of), Eric. There was a ton of build-up for these two hooking up, including erotic dreams, fantasies, kisses and biting. But finally there was consummation (and it only took Eric losing his memory to get there!) The scene isn’t only sexy—it’s sweet too. Amid a fair bit of danger Sookie and Eric developed true feelings for each other. Then when Eric is arrested by Bill for being “dangerous” and Sookie loses hope of seeing him again they’re reunited. But unlike the outdoor scene with Bill, this one has a decidedly romantic tone to it (the moonlit clearing alone guarantees that). They could have gone a lot of different ways with Sookie and Eric’s first time but I think this ended up being perfect. It’s a nice contrast to where we know the relationship is headed. Watch an extended version here or see the whole episode (season 4, “I Wish I Was the Moon.”)
The fun thing about this list is that it’s only the tip of the iceberg. What scenes would be on your Top 10?
Aspasia Bissas is the author of three blogs, including the all-vampire Blood Lines; was featured in Truly, Madly Deadly: The Unofficial True Blood Companion; and is currently working on a vampire novel of her own (it’s all about the fangs). Follow her on Twitter @bloodandpoppies.