Here’s what we know about Underworld: Awakening, which features the return of Kate Beckinsale as Selene, the “vampire warrioress*:”
1. Selene’s been held captive for 12 years. Good, that way she didn’t have to see the atrocity of Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.
2. In all that time, no-one has figured out how Selene can better deal with her hair. Is it that her hair gel is too greasy? That she hates barrettes? She won’t push it back behind her ears?
3. The people doing the Underworld series seem to believe the best, and only, color is blue. Would it kill them to maybe introduce a sepia tone in there somewhere? Maybe a touch of green?
4. Vampire fashion never changes: Black? Check. Leather? Check. Tight? Check.
5. Selene has yet to smile, even when seeing Mr. Bare-Chested Hot Guy right around 1:28. Way too serious, Selene.
The movie comes out January, 2012.
*What is a ’warrioress’ anyway?