Thu
Aug 4 2011 3:30pm

Top 5 Villains I Wish Were Heroes

Pinky and the BrainYeah, I love villains. Particularly angstful tortured ones who nonetheless find the werewithal somewhere to try and take over the world. And also still have room for Love. No matter how unconventional that love might be.

After all, there’s room for all kinds of love in romance. Right? So here’s my list of villains I wish were heroes:

The Brain
Okay, so he’s a mouse. A cartoon mouse. With a big head. But appearance shouldn’t be held against him. Brain’s got a great sense of sarcastic humor, and I love that in a guy. You can tell he does feel glimmers of compassion for his cellmate, Pinky, and he has lots of knowledge, so presumably he could eventually be a good lover. And his voice is totally sexy. Besides, if he ever succeeds in taking over the world, you’ll want to be on his good side.

The Wicked Witch of the West
So her choice of ménage partners is…unusual. At least they can fly. Plus they have those cute little hats. She has a snazzy castle, and does interesting things with her makeup, and has a truly classic style, maybe not quite Chanel but still very Witch, setting the fashion for decades of movie witches to come. And Dorothy really did do her wrong. We should give her the benefit of the doubt.
As for that whole issue with melting, well…in most romances, that’s considered a plus, right? Once you’ve become…intimate.

Darth Vader

Not Anakin. Darth Vader. The dude has his own theme song! And a cape! He strides masterfully! And he has some… interesting pants. I’ve seen that costume, up close and personal, in a museum exhibit. I was right at waist level. *Ahem.* And, girls and boys, he’s single!

Those who go for Alpha Males would probably like him, even though he does have to kowtow to the Emperor. Anybody bothers you? He’ll strangle them with the Force. Plus, he has a rockin’ car—I mean Tie Fighter.
Need I mention his voice? Best. Voice. Ever. Imagine that voice murmuring in your ear first thing in the morning. “I feel a disturbance…in my pants.”

Maleficent
She’s not evil, she’s just misunderstood. The king and queen totally should have invited her to the christening! Also, she’s stylin’. Great robes, great hat, great purple eyeshadow. Even metal bands think she’s cool—Nightwish and Cradle of Filth both wrote songs about her. To top it all off, she can turn into a dragon.

For those who are into things like being taunted or being chained up in a dungeon, Maleficent can take care of you there, too.

Michael Fassbender as Magneto in X-MenMagneto

Nobody’s going to argue with me here, right? Especially after that new movie where he’s played by Michael Fassbender (who recently also played Mr. Rochester). He might be a villain but he has morals, principles. He has reason not to trust humans, and he fights for the rights of mutantkind. He’ll tell you all about it if you ask. Plus he can bend steel by looking at it. Just think of the bondage possibilities.

So his color choices (red and purple) are questionable. He can totally lift a train with his mind. And he’s probably got piercings.

I’ve been in love with Magneto since I was in high school. I think he’s in love with Professor X instead of me, though.

Am I missing anybody?


 

Victoria Janssen is the author of three erotic novels and numerous short stories. Her latest novel is The Duke and The Pirate Queen from Harlequin Spice. Follow her on Twitter: @victoriajanssen or find out more at victoriajanssen.com.

Subscribe to this conversation (must be logged in):
Individual - You will receive an alert for each comment added to this post.
Digest - You will receive an end-of-day alert for all comments added to this post.
12 comments
Grace S
1. Grace S
Stryker from the Dark Hunter books. To paraphrase Jessica Rabbit, he's not really bad, he's just written that way. He's not a bad guy, but he's reacting to bad things that have been done to him in a not so good way. :)
Grace S
2. Mo
I simply cannot resist adding Lotor to this list. Yes, I know, he's a blue anime evil guy, but he's not really evil. He just wants the girl, you know? And that witch and his truly evil father, it's really all their fault. I admit it; I *always* wanted him to get Princess Allura in Voltron. lol Besides, growing up, his dedication to Allura was incredibly romantic. Who could resist that?!
Victoria Janssen
3. VictoriaJanssen
@Grace S, he just needs a good woman!

@Mo I always had a thing for Desslok in "Star Blazers."
Carmen Pinzon
4. bungluna
I loved dear aunt Erra from the Kate Daniel's series by Ilona Andrews. I wish she could have been a multiple book character, and she could totally have been redeemed by the love of a good alpha male...at least for a while!
Kaye Dacus
5. Kaye Dacus
Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo) from the first two Mummy movies.

Kiril, the assassin/Russian secret service agent (Karl Urban) from the second Bourne movie. (Really, any villain Karl Urban has played. Oops, my obsession is showing---let me just tuck that away.)

I'm totally with you on Darth Vader and Magneto!

Guy of Gisborne from Robin Hood---especially when played by Richard Armitage!

Cole Turner (Julian McMahon) from Charmed. (Oh, and Victor Von Doom from the Fantastic Four, too.)

I'll stop now.
April George
6. AAGeorge
Victoria-Read Gregory MacGuire's "Wicked" for an interesting take on the Wicked Witch of the West. I think it'll more than live up to your ideas of her being a hero.

@Grace S-Yes to Stryker. He's not a bad guy, we only really see him from the point of view of the Hunters. It's all about perspective.

@Kaye-I don't agree about Cole. We get to see him go good in Season 4 and he's just not as intriguing as when he's evil. Personal opinion, of course.

My additions:

Draco Malfoy (yes, I know, not a "villian" persay, but we only ever see him from Harry's perspective and in Harry's eyes, he never quite redeems himself)

Jaime Lannister (show version. There is a lot of undeveloped potenial in his character and I would love to see how the producers work with it)

The Phantom of the Opera (Another case of perspective and misunderstood characters. He's got the potential to be a tragic hero and I'd like to see someone develop that)
Victoria Janssen
7. VictoriaJanssen
@bungluna, I think I need to read that series.

@Kaye Dacus, I think we have some similiar tastes... Mmm, Karl Urban. I went to see Priest for his tiny role in that.

@AAGeorge, I always thought Draco and Neville would make an interesting pair. Strange, but interesting.
Grace S
8. feklar
I was going to say not all Karl Urban villians, because I have a particular soft spot for Xena & Caesar...but I guess most of them have some redeeming qualities. I think his quasi-villain role in RED is the next most appealing to me.

As for Dra'ville...you aren't the only one.
Grace S
9. EC Spurlock
I've always preferred villains to heros! Count me in on the Vader and POTO bandwagons (@AAGeorge, check out Jennifer Lindforth's Madrigal series), and @Victoria, I've always been a huge Desslok fan too. The man had style. And a wonderfully snarky sense of humor.

What, no shout-outs for Snape? Not really a villain, in the end, but really, neither was Vader, if it comes to that. Oh, and I've always had a partiality for Klingons, especially Kor (as played by John Colicos) from the original ST.
Victoria Janssen
10. VictoriaJanssen
@Feklar, Urban looked really, really good in that suit in RED.

@EC Spurlock, I'm not sure if I would consider Snape a villain. Ambiguous at times, yes. Remember when John Colicos was on Deep Space Nine?
Grace S
11. EC Spurlock
Actually I never got into DS9; however I do remember seeing an episode (TNG, I think?) where they reunited all the major Klingons from the original series (Kor, Koloss and Kang) and being perversely happy that Kor was the only one to survive the episode. I also had the pleasure of seeing Colicos perform in our local Shakespeare theater back in the 70's, which was quite a kick for me.

Oh, and let's not forget to add every villain ever played by Jason Isaacs to this list. From evil Redcoats to Captain Hook to Lucious Malfoy, he does know how to create a drool-worthy villain.
Kaye Dacus
12. Kaye Dacus
@EC Spurlock . . . ooh, Jason Isaacs!!! Definitely agree!
Post a comment