Wed
Aug 17 2011 10:30am

Sometimes I Want to Slap Her: Anita Blake, Merit, Rachel Morgan, Kitty Norville, and Sookie Stackhouse

I am all for strong heroines, but sometimes I wish I could reach through the pages of my book and slap the shit out of a character. I have a few, which I am sure all of us do. Here are my top five:

Anita Blake (Laurell K. Hamilton)

Come on, don’t tell me you don’t want to slap the shit out of Anita at least once a book. She used to be so hardcore and independent, and now...WTF. She has to be around one of her men or the ardeur will attack and she’ll die. What the hell is that—all the sudden she gets a shit ton of sex partners and has lost the ability to be hardcore? Boring. If I wanted to read about constant sex, I’d read erotica.

Drink Deep by Chloe Neill Merit (Chloe Neill)

I love Merit, I really do, but sometimes I wanna take a shoe and toss it at her. The first time she ever mouths off to Ethan, she immediately appologizes. Ack, NO! Girl, stick to your instincts! When it comes to Ethan, sometimes Merit doesn’t have a backbone, and that drives me insane. But we will see what happens in Drink Deep.

Rachel Morgan (Kim Harrison)

After Kisten’s demise, Rachel got weird. I get it—hell, I am still in mourning, but shit, girl, snap out of it. Live your life, stop getting yourself into stupid-ass situations because you aren’t paying attention. STOP leading Ivy on, it’s all sorts of creepy. And sleep with Trent already, you seem to need it.

Kitty’s Big Trouble by Carrie Vaughn Kitty Norville (Carrie Vaughn)

Ever since Kitty and Ben got married, Kitty’s not as fun as she used to be. I loved the tension between Kitty and Cormac, but it’s not cool to want to play with your husband’s cousin.

Sookie Stackhouse (Charlaine Harris)

Sookie kills me. KILLS ME. She is exactly like the girl in the scary movies, the one you scream at the TV to not go in there and she does. Constantly. She doesn’t seem to learn! She’s constantly getting herself into situations that she has no buisness being part of. WHY can’t somene say “Sook, don’t do that shit, it’ll get you killed one of these days!”

So what character do you want to slap?

Natasha Carty reviews Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy on her website Wicked Little Pixie and lives in Toronto, Canada, with her cat, Seamus.

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1. MFrampton

view all by MFrampton | Wednesday August 17, 2011 09:42am EDT

Natasha, I feel you with the Rachel Morgan hate. I am on again, off again with the series--she's interesting, but I don't think I like her. I still like Merit, though. I have that book preordered, can't wait to see what happens. I don't read those other series.

2. Pamela (Spaz)

Wednesday August 17, 2011 09:58am EDT

I heart you SO HARD for this post!!!!! LOLOL I agree with you!!
Faythe from the Shifters series made want to give her a pop in the first book of the series. Can I add punch? No? Another post? K :) Good job boo!

3. MarnieColette

Wednesday August 17, 2011 10:16am EDT

OMG - you said it absolutely perfectly. I couldn't agree more with you on every point (minus Kitty - I don't read that series). I also think that sometimes I would love to reach in and shake the living daylights out of some of the stupid men in these books too - especially Trent and the Anita gang. They men seem to have become shadows of their hardcore self too!

4. WickedLilPixie

view all by WickedLilPixie | Wednesday August 17, 2011 10:17am EDT

@ Megan - I don't think I liked her after Kisten. I like Merit, I just wished she'd yell back at Ethan.

@Pam - OMG Faythe, I totally forgot about her or she'd have been my number 2! HATED her and her "I don't know who to chose" BS.

5. WickedLilPixie

@ Marnie - I totally agree, what happened to them!

6. box5angel

view all by box5angel | Wednesday August 17, 2011 11:17am EDT

I've read the Anita books and stopped reading them, exactly for the reasons that you stated.

I'm still reading the Sookie books (haven't gotten to 10 & ll yet) and I so agree. I think they tell her on the show about how she needs to stop, but in the books, no one tells her anything. lol

7. WickedLilPixie

view all by WickedLilPixie | Wednesday August 17, 2011 11:59am EDT

@Box5 - Everyone just lets Sookie be and it drives me INSANE!

8. ChelseaMueller

view all by ChelseaMueller | Wednesday August 17, 2011 12:16pm EDT

I think everyone wants to dissuade Sookie, but at this point have just given up. She's too stubborn to listen to the supernatural equivalent of "don't run up the stairs!"

I'm with you on Merit, but only for the first book. I think as she's come into her own, and accepted her vampire nature more, she's gained strength. In Hard Bitten, she wasn't willing to let Ethan's words convince her to be with him again. She's trying to learn from her mistakes. (As frustrating as that can be.)

And, to add to the list: Eugenie Markham. I love her. I do, but I want to shake her. For book after book, I have wanted to sit her down and say: He. Is. Not. Good. Enough. For. You.

SPOILER ALERT FOR DARK SWAN! Kiyo puts his ex (and her political allegiances) above those of Eugenie. He's not around to support her. Her kingdom should just do whatever his ex's does. And, you know, when you find the man who kidnapped and repeatedly raped your girlfriend, you should should be thinking about her not about political ramifications. It drives me crazy that she kept going back to that a-hole. While a bit nuts at times, Eugiene deserves so much better. My fingers are crossed for Shadow Heir.

9. nanduq

view all by nanduq | Wednesday August 17, 2011 12:54pm EDT

LOL I couldn't stop laughing while reading this! I completely agree with you with Anita Blake. I can't even stomach reading her books anymore because there's so much explicit sex and Anita is so dependant. All you ever hear about is how much she misses her harem of men and how much of a slut she feels she's become but if you have a problem with it, you can take a hike. There's a simple solution to that, Anita, and it's to quit having sex with everyone. What also bugs me about her is that she'll have sex with strangers but when it comes to Edward or Bernardo, THAT'S where she draws the line?! She's done everything else with everyone else but she won't do that. Riiighhht.

10. BrittanyMelson

view all by BrittanyMelson | Wednesday August 17, 2011 01:40pm EDT

I definitely agree about Anita and Sookie. I don't so much mind that Anita needs men as much as that she pretends she doesn't. She needs to just accept her metaphysical situation and get her groove back. As for Sookie, I wonder sometimes if she has a death wish:)

11. jordanamross

view all by jordanamross | Wednesday August 17, 2011 02:21pm EDT

I don't know about the Merit series, but I was totally into each of the other series at the beginning. Now I am a totall slacker on keeping up to date with these series. I dumped Anita first, then Sookie and Morgan, and I am still waffling about wasting money on the most recent Kitty book.

I think the most disapointing thing about these characters has been the lack of inner growth and wisdom. The authors are being really cookie cutter in dropping the same character into different situations, which can work for about 3 books, but no more. The authors develope these great characters who admittedly have flaws, which make them interesting and somewhat unpredictable, but in each book it seems to be written with the same character mock-up, which subsequent books have had almost no effect on internal "state-of-mind" (and if there was an effect it was a trauma that added more flaws.) The character comes out of the book the same as they went in. Somewhere down the line, a character has to learn a lesson about something that makes her change her decisions or actions or responses, otherwise the character becomes stagnant. They need to grow and learn and improve, it would definitely add another layer of triumph on the part of the heroines, which is what I am looking for in a happy ending.

With these series, it seems like it is just a moneymaking churning wheel for the authors. The books start blurring together.

12. bungluna

view all by bungluna | Wednesday August 17, 2011 04:13pm EDT

It's not just UF heroines that inspire me to violence; I've felt like slappin several contemporary heroines,*cough*Stephanie Plum*cough*. I've quit Kitty and am on the verge of quitting some of the other ones listed too.

13. kwanawrites

view all by kwanawrites | Wednesday August 17, 2011 06:13pm EDT

Love this post so much. I don't know most of these characters but as a person who wants to slap someone daily I can so relate.

14. Elle Jaxx

Thursday August 18, 2011 05:58pm EDT

Oh my, I agree. I just finished all of the Rachel Morgan series up to date and was thinking the exact same thing. I think its the fact that the series have gone on too long. Compare these with, say, the Fever series by Karen Moning. She gave us 5 books and ended it. Just enough time for Mac to piss us off, learn some new stuff, kick butt and then make us love her.

15. Paranormal Hairstylist

Thursday August 25, 2011 05:18pm EDT

I love this post! All of these characters have made some pretty messed up decisions, and I've wanted to slap these women, too! Even Mac from the Fever series, though I am very glad with how things turned out for her at the end. Elle Jax is right, some of these series go on for too long and the authors will keep writing as long as there is a demand for their books.

I actually met Carrie Vaughn once, and she does have an end planned to her Kitty series ( and so does Charlaine Harris for the Sookie series). I don't mind that Kitty is married. My favorite part of the series is whenever she's doing her radio show and talking to her listeners.

The early Anita Blake stories have been released in comic and graphic novel format, and I've almost forgotten what she used to be like before she ended up with all her men!