Fri
Jul 15 2011 11:00am

Snape Lust: 10 Reasons Snape is Hotter Than Harry

Professor Snape in Harry PotterSome people don’t get it. “Why Professor Snape?,” they ask. He’s mean to kids. He’s ugly. No one wanted him; he’s probably a virgin. How can anyone find him sexy?

1. Because smart is sexy. Competent is sexy. And you know that’s what he wants in a mate.

2. Because sarcastic is funny. Because bitter tastes good. Because every time he opens his mouth, he delivers.

(And brilliant, bitter, funny male virgins? Enough said.)

3. He’s always there, just when you need him. He knows what you need and how to do it. Being a Legilimens, he also knows what you want. Think about it.

(Other Harry Potter coverage at Harry Potter is Not a Romance, 5 Things Harry & Hermione Taught Me About Love, and Ron Weasley, Romantic Hero?)

4. The Rickman effect. Readers loved Snape before the movies were made, but Alan Rickman’s contribution doesn’t hurt. He’s got the swoop, the menace, and the voice. Snape’s voice is silky in the books, but the resonant timbre of Rickman’s voice turns those aural vibrations into full-body experiences. No wonder he was once cast as the voice of God in Dogma.

5. Because he’s hideous, bless him, hook-nosed and greasy. He’s the archetypal cranky teacher who needs to get laid. It’s all the more embarrassing because everyone can see the passions seething in him, how much he loathes being mocked and being too ugly for the pure, good women who are out of his league. But he makes something of himself anyway. He’s magnetic. In any scene he’s in, you can’t take your eyes off the man.

6. He likes women. When women come to him for help, he risks his life to give it, even if he has to protect their ungrateful brats. He knows how it feels to be powerless or unwanted. If you’re in an enchanted sleep, he’ll brew the potion to wake you up. There’s a reason his wizard name is Prince.

7. He’s a bad boy and a good boy in one. The billowing black cloak. The unspeakable evils he’s seen. Don’t call his bluff; we don’t even know all the things he could do. But his greatest power is self-control. He reminds his students to call him sir. Yes, sir. Oh, yes.

8. He’s endlessly rewarding. Some mysteries are easily explained; some fizzle out. But the more you read Snape, the more you learn of him, the more thrilling he becomes.

9. He knows how to atone. He chooses what is right, never what is easy. He assumes a thankless life that guarantees he will be universally hated, universally mistaken for evil, and resists the human urge to protest his innocence and burst forth with his truth. He withstands these tests, even when people cry out to him at their moment of death, because his commitment is to something greater. He forgoes recognition, forgoes adult love, turns his formidable gifts to pulling off the unspeakable under conditions that are unthinkable—accepting that his achievements will never be known. He will never claim the role of hero. Against all instinct, he wills himself to do what must be done. And we, the readers, are his witnesses. Of his many sacrifices, we see that the costliest was the renunciation of his human right to show his true self when he tells the books’s hero with his dying breath, “Look at me.”

10. Look at you? Yes, sir. Looking at Snape is the money shot. J.K. Rowling took an enormous risk, gambling the climax of her epic series on her ability to build up Snape’s ambiguity to a screaming point and then pull off an unspoiled reveal at the end. And what do we see when all is revealed? A vision of love so white-hot that it dazzles. The recognition of Snape’s true self is what brings completion. That’s hot. That’s romantic. And that’s what has me coming back to Snape again and again and again.


 

Drinkingcocoa’s presentations about Snape and the Harry Potter series are archived at The Petulant Poetess and owl.tauri.org.

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25 comments
Mo
1. Mo
Bravo! Could not have put it better. Snape is totally FTW. And, seriously, Alan Rickman as Snape is hot too.
Valerie Smith
2. Vale
Seriously? Step away from the fanfic.

The character you describe here is not the Snape from the book. It's the Snape of fanfic. Snape in the books is frequently a nasty bully who never got over his high school trauma and takes it out on his students.

Remember he was perfectly fine with Voldemort killing Harry and James as long as he got Lily. That's not love so much as stalking.

Does he try to atone for this and are his later actions heroic? Yes. But he's crap boyfriend material.
Mo
3. ms bookjunkie
Snape doesn't ring any bells for me. At all. Alan Rickman, OTOH, rings a lot of bells for me…
Mo
4. Mo
@Vale: He was also a heroically tragic figure in the books. I didn't like Snape at first, but like others, I put my trust in him because Dumbledore did and I was not disappointed. Of all the characters, he both lost more and risked more. He hated James Potter and with good reason, but his love for Lily proved the stronger and he fought for Harry and never once did he break his vows to Dumbledore. You don't think that in his mind, his vows to Dumbledore were the same as vows to Lily, because I think they were. He might have said the words to Dumbledore, but in his heart, he said them to her.

Oh, and for the record, I have never read any Harry Potter fanfic.

Sorry, but Snape is my all time fav character in the Potterverse.
Mo
5. Drinkingcocoa
Vale: I absolutely agree with your reading of Snape until his final year, including his insane notion about saving Lily but not her husband and toddler. But what we see of his final year shows someone who does overcome his stunted, bullying persona, experience remorse, and recognize Harry for himself instead of projecting ancient history onto him. It's not always easy to see that because "The Prince's Tale" goes by in such a rush, but his offensive behavior is from before Dumbledore's death and his behavior after that point is consistently protective.
Mo
6. LydiaH
I've always loved Snape, even in the beginning when all we knew was that he was a bully. And having Rickman playing him just made me love him more. Oh his voice.
Mo
7. Poison_girl
Snape was one of my fav. charactors. Rickman did an amazing job like usual. 9 and 10 pretty much summed it up for me....I'd take Snape over your normal knight in shinning armor any day.
Mo
8. AlbaLark
With numbers 8,9 and 10 you've articulated beautifully why Snape is so very compelling. Against her will, JKR created a true, complex anti-hero, and she *still* hasn't a clue why we love him. You have, with those last three, written the perfect elucidation. I hope she sees this and finally has an epiphany. :-)

@ Vale: Severus Snape is no saint. But then again, neither was anyone else - Dumbledore especially. And it wasn't just his high school trauma he never got over. More was demanded of him than of any character in the books; for no other character was the bar of redemption set so high. Remember - Dumbledore failed to keep his end of the bargain - he did not keep Lily safe as promised. Snape could have walked away at that point, but he did not. He kept his promises. He willingly walked back into hell for the sake of his love for a woman long dead, knowing he would not survive the trip, sacrificing everything to atone for the wrong he'd done to the one woman he loved. A woman, it must be said, who more than likely never loved him in return. If that's not the definition of selfless love, I don't know what could be. If he hasn't earned his redemption after all of that, there's no hope for any of the rest of us. :-)
Mo
9. SevMe
I agree wholeheartedly. The last two points really did it for me. I read the books before seeing the movies and I've always been a fan of Snape. When it came to the final book, however, it turned into obsession. He's an amazing character in every way possible. I love him, so much. :) Alan Rickman was the perfect person for the role! Sexy voice, omg.
Mo
10. SevMe
@AlbaLark: Absolutely. He has the biggest heart of them all.
Mo
11. JaneGeorge
I was infatuated with Snape from book one. Tall, tortured and greasy-haired? I'm in. And I knew he wasn't all bad.

But on #10, I can't be the only reader who saw through the ruse? I knew that Dumbledore asked Snape to kill him, largely to Spare Draco. And Snape was still trying to help thickheaded Harry at the very end of Half-Blood Prince by shouting 'instructions' at him.

I thought the "bravest man I ever knew" line worked better in the film epilogue than in the book's.
Mo
12. Hellion
Amen. I agree wholeheartedly. :) And I don't even read the fanfic. *LOL* I just love him--whether it's because I root for the underdog...or because it was Alan Rickman, who I admit has always rung my bell, I adore Snape.
Mo
14. Shellbelle
You nailed it!!! I could never have put into words the how and why I kept coming back for more snape, or Why I kept hope alive that he had REASON's for his dasterdly actions, even when things look bleak! I lOVED Snape in the books, but I LUUUVVV Snape in the movies! I can't think of a character more perfectly cast:D
Mo
15. Sara Y.
Brilliant!, great job I wholeheartedly agree with each one of your points! :D

@Vale: I haven't read Snape-fic either, each one of the points drikingcocoa mentioned is canon..... for the deep reader.

She never said Snape was a saint, she is acknowledging him with all his flaws and virtues. I'm afraid you are the one that is looking only at the surface and are repeting the same old godspell of mindless haters, the book doesn't say what you said, if you read it carefully, of course.

Snape is carrying traumas, yes, but he is not only taking it on his students without reason. The Snape-Harry and Snape-Griffyndor animosity is reciprocal and fueled by actions from both factions, and, again, it's only superficial, at the time of the really important stuff Severus was always there to fullfill his mission.
Snape is more a (very) harsh teacher than a bully, his actions are not very different and certainly not that worse than the things other Hogwarts' teachers did, please, stop the double standard, stop comparing him to actual modern pedagoges, stop singling him out, that's a school that put their student's lives in danger every weekend with their local game alone, for God's sake!

And once and for all, Snape wasn't all ok and happy with Voldemort saving Lily alone, yes, of course deep in his heart he most likely only cared for her, but there's no real evidence that he desired James' and Harry's death. May I remind you that, even as a DE, there's not account that he ever tried to hurt them intentionally?
And how on earth could he have asked for the man and the baby's life?, how could he ask to spare the life of his leader's main target in the middle of a war? he would have been killed immediately and would have been of no help at all. Altough we don't have that scene, he most probably asked for Lily's life pretexting only lust for her, to remain "nasty" and believable to his evil lord, but, what he did after that ?, after realizing his mistake when carrying the profecy?, he went to Dumbledore, risking his own life and freedom, he could have been killed at the point or sent to being tortured in Azkaban ("protect them all", didn't him say?, even before Dumbledore called him off for asking for Lily's life only?)

The only thing I agree is that Snape is not the boring "boyfriend material", he is much more special, dangerous and exciting, a true complex, flawed and admirable fictional hero, who yet manages to remain so close and human at the end.

JKR's biggest accomplishement to date, IMHO.
Mo
16. arithmancer
*applause*

Especially for writing Point #9, thanks for saying it so well!
Mo
17. Lady Sky
Brilliantly explained! I totally agree!

I think what nay-sayers like Vale up above have to remember is the extreme emotional complexity of Snape's character. The one person he ever loved, and the only real friend he ever had, first left him behind, and then ended up dead because of his actions - and so he hates himself. His entire life has been reduced down to the single object of protecting her child, who is the combination of his greatest love and his greatest enemy wrapped up in one body - and so he must look at Harry and see both the man he hated and the woman he loved and betrayed - therefore Harry reminds him not only of his childhood enemy, but of his greatest sin - and yeah, he's kind of emotionally stunted, and has spent years building up emotional defenses, so he reacts to that by being a total jerk.

In the end, Harry represents the culmination of all Snape's pain, unrealized dreams and self-hatred, and he is also the one thing that Snape lives to protect. What heroic strength he must have to bear that. And the reason we never see Snape's heroic strength until the very end, underneath all the anger and resentment and bitterness - remember, he made Dumbledore swear never to tell anyone his true motives - Dumbledore was never to tell anyone of 'the best of him'. He intentionally hid all that was good, nice, likable or loveable away from view, he didn't want anyone to see the depth of love he possessed, which he percieved was his weakness, nor did he want anyone to see the depth and breadth of his great sin against Lily.

I'm rambling, because words can't capture my adoration for this character - Snape is simply the best!

I am using this list as justification for my Snape-Lust from now on! Thanks so much for writing it!
Mo
18. Wintermoon
Thank you for writing this! It's brilliant! And Snape is Always going to be Perfect!
Mo
19. snapes girl
I love snape. I always have, Ive only read three of the books and have watched the movies over and over. I love snape. hes sexy and this article is so true!! he had to act as a double agent. he had to pretend to hate all the students and kill dumbledore so voldemort would trust him again. I think hes brave and a true man. remember that dumbledore is the only person who KNEW about snapes feelings and that he was a double agent. snape sacrificed so much including his own life for the school and for harry potter himself.
Mo
20. snapes girl
and for those who is saying hes ugly, hes not. hes beautiful inside and out. and thats coming from a 20 year old girl in a college sorority. my sisters in school think Im such a dork for liking harry potter and snape, lol but I dont care! Im proud of it. stand up for what you believe and others will follow! ;) xoxo
Mo
21. Artemis
Have to say, for all those hating on Snape, the man could call me an insufferable know it all any day of the week as long as it was in that sexy as hell voice. And personally, I like the nose, the hair you can wash (muahaha the possibilities!), I mean come on, it's just potion smoke residue, and come on, its Alan Rickman, he can be a big a git as he wants and its still hot as hell. Personally, I bawled my eyes out towards the end of the last movie, and cussed Dumbledore out like a sweartoad. Oh and yes I do read the fanfics, write them even, and Snape is still indeed an arse in most of them :) Old habits die hard as they say.
Mo
22. CHIRAG84
This whole article was completely illogical! The Snape you described is certainly not the Snape from the books.

The fact of the matter Snape is a bully, Ms Rowling has herself said so. He is petty, unprofessional, biased and immatured. He is a man who takes out his grudge on a dead man on an innocent child. He doesn't deserve to be a teacher or even come near children.

Those who admire Snape perhaps forget that it was Snape who was responsible for death of Harry's parents, after all it was him who revealed the prophecy to Voldemort. And lets not forget the fact thst he was a Death Eater who God knows killed, totured and maimed how many people in Voldemort's name. It seems Snape lovers often conveniently forget this fact!

As for the movies notwithstanding Alan Rickman, the Snape of the movies is actually a far better person than the Snape of the books. In fact let me make a confession here, while watching the movies I actually liked Snape! But after I started reading the books I began to despise him, because he is trully a despicable man in the books, or do Snape lovers also forget that he almost caused an innocent man to be kissed by Dementors in book 3 for a petty school era grudge!

Snape lovers it seems conveniently gloss over many of the serious flaws in the man's character.

What is my opinon of Snape, he is a pathetic loser whose only redeeming feature is his devotion for Lily Potter.

Yes Snape is an interesting charcter but so is Bellatrix Lestrange!
Lily Smith
23. snapeissexyx1000
I could read blogs all day that try to describe something that is beyond words; that is, the sexiness of Snape and, in particular, Alan Rickman as Snape. I can honestly say, from the second Snape stepped on screen, it was like falling off a cliff into 'what the hell is happening to me.' I was like gone, mental, done, serve-me-up-cause-my-goose-is-cooked, crazy about him. Thinking perhaps I had lost my mind, I went to the best friend of 'you're never alone in your insanity' = the Internet and typed in 'Snape is Sexy' and that was that. No, you're not alone, in feeling like you're gonna lose your mind everytime Alan whips that cape around, quirks an eyebrow, bears his teeth or looks down his nose at you. Snape sitting at the table in the Great Hall doing nothing is more orgasmic than anything I could previously have conjured up... and I've got a very dirty mind. I can honestly say I'd crawl through broken glass just to be allowed to lick the buttons on Snape's boots (and coming from me, that's unheard of, as I'm just not the 'I'll do anything you want, boot-licking type.) Perhaps that's why this was all so unusual. Snape makes you feel like you're outside yourself, unable to stop the cascade of emotions that lead you ever deeper into the raises-goose-bumps-all-over-your-body-passion of it all. The real kicker is, before you even know what he's all about - that he burns with deep love and loyalty - you're ready to give 10 years of your life over for 10 hours of being teacher's pet; then the final death-blow to sanity arrives in finding out that he really is the hero of the whole piece. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but it's unprecedented in my lifetime (and by it, I mean, this level of complete arousal and inability to breathe whenever I think about Snape.) Snape is so sexy there are no words for it. It's like the beauty of a blue sky or the smell of a fragrant summer bloom; it just gets you on a visceral level. Phew! I've often 'joked' that I never knew what it felt like to be a woman until Alan Rickman put that cape and that character on, but I'm really not kidding. Make of it what you will; it's powerful.
Mo
24. Spro
Yes, Snape is sexy, whether he wants to be or not. As with Spock, I want to make him smile.
Mo
25. Halvblodsprinsessen
Snapeissexyx1000, spot on!
I was only 7 when I saw the first film, and didn't understand what happened to me. I had already read the book alone and was intrigued by Snape or Slur (his Norwegian name), but when I finally got to see him I couldn't take my eyes off him. There is something about that characer that just starts something in my brain, it would be interesting to actually research it deeper, because from an evolutionary standpoint I don't really know why it would be beneficial for me to be with a person like that. Except the part with him loving one single person his whole life of course. But I didn't know that when I read the books and saw the films. Maybe it's got something to do with the fact that many other girls wouldn't even look at him and therefore I could easily keep him to myself, I don't know.
There's just something about the dark, mysterious, super-intelligent, tortured, big-nosed figure that I can't get enough of.
I'm actually starting to believe that Alan Rickman as Snape has affected the way I look at men! I do like long-haired, intelligent, even a little bitter, older men, and push away the "normal, boring" ones my age... You know, the insecure boys who can't even look into your eyes and who all have the same short haircut and likes boring things. (Not everyone is like that though!). My boyfriend is a long haired drummer and only two months older than me, and things are great, but he couldn't ever make me feel like someone like Snape does.
I even almost had a relationship with one of my teachers, haha...
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