Some of us have been concerned, to say the least, about Charlaine Harris’s Southern Vampire series. There have been times when some of us have threatened, and carried out our threats, never to return to Bon Temps. I may be having one of those moments. But I’m not referring to the books; I am talking about those first six minutes from the HBO Season 4 of True Blood.
First, the alternate universe that we see Sookie in at onset bothers me. I don’t like that glowing fruit, the fakey background, or the fact that the fae are laden with so much fabric. After the startling array of set design talent that we’ve seen on Game of Thrones, it’s ridiculous that we are subjected to sets that are comparable to Bewitched and Leave It to Beaver. After a full year of waiting, we get the set of Xena: Warrior Princess?
Next, let’s get at that fruit. Is it a Christmas ornament with a light bulb stuck in it? Are you kidding? You can almost see the electricity running through them. HBO took the cast of Entourage to a beach that was no less than grandiose. But for one of the series with the highest number of On Demand views ever, they light up a lemon squeeze bottle!
Then we have the Granddad, who what? Recognizes his grown grandchild after 20 years? Get the hell outta here! He is unquestionably disillusioned, but we’re supposed to accept that he recognizes this grown woman on sight? I’m having problems. Here’s the other problem. Why is it that out of all the humans that are trapped there, Sookie is the only person that decides not to partake of the forbidden fruit? I know that she’s the heroine, but a braniac she is not. I found it farfetched and hard to fathom.
Since the book and series are somewhat standalone, at least, there have been some changes to enhance the theatrics, I can understand some of the vagaries that were made to the various scenes, but this one was off the chart with asshatery! One of the worst moments was when the trap was revealed and the walls of the mirage began to fall—where did they get that arid scene that I’m sure I recognized from when Captain Kirk had his first fist fight with Khan (KKKHHHAAAANNN!!!)?
The fireworks from Sookie’s hand? I’m sorry, but once you use something twice, you should have a general understanding of how it works. Didn’t Spiderman have a general understanding of his webbing on the second go around?
There was plenty of great stuff to choose from for Season 4; I loved amnesiac Eric, I love the kick-ass witches, and I even marginally tolerated the faeries. Hopefully, Alan Ball has some hellified plans in line to make up for this debauchery. Promises have been made and I’m really hoping that our friends at HBO can keep them. Trubies have a certain set of expectations. We forgave Season 2’s oxen in the form of a demigod. We understood that floating into the atmosphere is a hallucinogenic side effect of dried vampire blood. But I am having a difficult time wrapping my mind around this mess. It doesn’t even seem fair.
To balance it all out, here’s what I did like about the first six minutes…Sookie had on a very pretty dress. When Mab, the HFIC (head faerie in charge) was struck with Sookie’s faerie-blaster, her head morphed into three different faces, the middle face was a man or what looked like a man. That was pretty cool. She looked like Mr. Tumnus. I’m just praying that there is a little more of that going on in the next season. I heart special effects, good ones, that make me sit up straight in bed. Here’s hoping that I get some.
After all those spoilers, I’m hoping that you’ve seen it already. In case you haven’t, pleaes take a look and don’t forget to stop back by to tell me whether you agree, or think I need to get my glasses checked.